Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"All the nights that joy has slept will awake to days of laughter, You have come by way of sorrow, you've come over a stony ground,
Gone the tears that you have wept,
You'll dance in freedom ever after.
But when love calls out your name, you will lay you burden down,
You will lay you burden down"
"I'm worried," Snow murmured, studying her hands. Charming looked at her sideways from the driver's seat.
"About Emma?" he asked.
"And Henry, and us, and . . . everyone." Snow sighed, feeling defeated. She hated feeling defeated. Charming put a comforting hand on her knee. She peered out of the window. They had left a napping Emma with Red after promises of big bowls of ice cream for Emma (and big glasses of wine for Red) upon their return. They were going to see Henry, to attempt to explain what they themselves still didn't totally understand, and to speak to Gold about the reversibility or irreversibility of Emma's condition. Luckily, both were at Gold's shop with Neal.
Emma seemed to be taking to them, which was nice but it seemed a bit fake. After yesterday's movie screening she kept speaking blissfully about what it would be like to be a princess. Even given such an opening, neither Charming nor Snow could bring themselves to tell her the truth. The equilibrium they had managed to establish with the four year old seemed tenuous at best and neither wanted to rock the boat. Still, she was smiling more readily which was something . . .
Charming pulled up in front of the shop and hopped out. Snow sat frozen in the seat. He rounded the car and pulled open the door, placing both hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. "Worst case scenario, Henry is freaked out and Gold says there's no way to reverse this. We can get through it Snow."
"But-" Snow started, biting her lip, avoiding her husband's intense gaze. "What if a small part of me doesn't want her to change back?" She let the words hang in the air, her guiltiest secret now revealed. Slowly, she looked into Charming's face, ready to see anger or revulsion at what seemed to her as an outright rejection of her adult daughter. Instead she was met with tenderness in those deep blue eyes.
"Do you honestly think you're the only one who hasn't been secretly happy for a do-over? Hell, I barely got to know Emma. She didn't need me and I'm not sure she even wanted me there. Now I'm her hero! It's the best feeling in the world. This situation is incredibly complicated Snow and we shouldn't expect our emotions to be anything but complicated. Whatever we're hoping for though," he paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "We need to fight for Emma. We owe her that. We owe Henry that." Nailed it.
Snow nodded, wiping the tears she hadn't realized she'd shed. She let out a nervous laugh. "You're pretty amazing, you know." Charming stroked her shoulder with this thumb.
"Come on love," he whispered, helping her out of the car. The two entered Gold's shop and were unsurprised to see the main room empty. They heard laughter from the back and followed it. It was a strange sight, grandfather, son and grandson sitting around a small table playing a rousing game of Go Fish. Truth be told, neither Snow nor Charming had ever seen Gold play a game, at least one that didn't involve another's person's death or the general manipulation of others' lives.
"Hi Henry," Charming said. The three other men turned, a bit startled.
"Gramps!" Henry exclaimed, launching himself into Charming's arms. Snow too wrapped her arms around Henry. "How's Mom?"
"She's . . . okay," Snow began, her hands shaking involuntarily.
"Henry, she's four," Charming stated bluntly, crouching down to be eye level with his grandson. "We're not sure how to reverse it. She's physically okay but . . . she doesn't remember anything." Henry bit his lip and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I know it's hard kid," Charming pulled Henry to his chest once again and he felt hot tears soak the flannel. Snow rubbed comforting circles on his back. Both Snow and Charming felt hot waves of remorse wash over them. How could they wish for Emma to remain a child when it was hurting her child so much? He'd lost his mother for the second time in a handful of weeks. This was bound to be hard.
"Henry," Snow broke in, pulling the boy around to face her. "We will not stop until we find a way to reverse this." This time, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that she would find a way, though the thought did give her a soft pang of regret.
"Gold," Charming began, turning away from his wife and grandson to face a man he had grown to loathe.
"Prince," Gold answered simply.
"We need your help to figure this out."
Gold answered "Well . . ." at the same time Neal answered:
"Of course he'll help," causing both to look at each other, Gold with one of surprise and Neal with fiery requisition. Gold turned to Charming, sheepish contrition masking his features.
"Apparently I would love to help. I'll need to see the girl though." Charming nodded, he had thought as much.
"Could you come back with us?" he asked. Gold looked back at his son briefly before nodding.
"I want to come too!" Henry said emphatically.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea buddy," Neal intoned gently. The other adults in the room nodded their agreement.
"I deserve to see her. I know she doesn't remember and that she, um, that she doesn't look like my Mom but I still want to see her. I'll be okay, I promise. Neal looked between Snow and Charming and three shared a silent conversation before Neal turned to his son.
"Okay Henry, you can go but . . . be careful." In the last two words he was trying to convey a lot, a lot that his son probably wasn't internalizing. He couldn't think of what else to say though.
The 5-some were back to Snow's loft faster than they had expected and it was with deep feelings of trepidation that they all climbed the stairs. They entered the apartment and Red looked up from the magazine she had been reading. She put her finger to her lip and got up, moving closer to Snow and Charming. She seemed un-phased by the others. "She's still sleeping. I haven't heard a sound."
"Thanks Red. Maybe we should go wake her instead of letting her wander down and be surprised," Snow said, looking to Charming for confirmation who nodded.
"We'll be right back," Charming told Gold, Neal and Henry. The two took the stairs to Emma. When they entered her room, she was on her side, cheeks flushed and her blond curls splayed across the pillow. She had her thumb in her mouth and had her legs tucked near her stomach. She was an angel.
"I didn't know she sucked her thumb," Snow whispered, her heart breaking. That was something she should have known. She crossed the room tentatively and ran her hand over Emma's hair. She sank to the side of the bed, cupping Emma's small face. The little girl stirred, thick lashes flickering open. "How'd you sleep precious?" Snow asked, her hand dropping to Emma's shoulder.
"Okay," Emma answered, rubbing her eyes. Her hair stuck to one side of her head, damp with sweat.
"Did you have a good nap?" Charming asked. He had his hands shoved into his pockets and was shifting from one foot to the other.
"Mmhmm . . . are we going to have ice cream?" she asked, turning her big, blue orbs from one parent to the other.
"Sure sweetheart," Charming answered, forcing a smile. "Before we do though, there are a couple of our, um, friends here to meet you. You don't need to be scared because your Mama and I are here. Mr. Gold, one of our friends wants to see how you are, kind of like a doctor. His son and . . . grandson are here too. Is that okay?"
Emma nodded though she looked wary. In a move that made Snow's heart leap into her throat, Emma pulled herself into Snow's lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. Snow wrapped her own arms around her daughter's small frame and stood up. She walked through the door, Charming bringing up the rear with a hand on her back. They descended the stairs.
"Ms. Swan," Gold greeted, surveying the child appraisingly. Emma buried her face in the crook of Snow's neck. Neither Henry nor Neal seemed able to say anything. "May I?" Gold asked, his eyebrows raised at Charming who nodded. Snow brought Emma closer and Gold stepped forward as well. Snow shifted Emma so that she was facing forward though she still avoided Gold's fierce gaze.
"It's okay Emma," Snow cooed. Gold waved his hand over the girl's form like a metal detector. Emma narrowed her eyes, studying the man curiously. Gold nodded, apparently satisfied.
"Emma, do you want your ice cream?" Charming asked, not wanting her to hear what Gold had to say. Despite herself, the little girl's face split into a slight smile and she nodded. Snow carried her to the kitchen after sharing another silent conversation with her husband. Charming pulled Gold aside, followed quickly by Neal and Red.
Snow pulled out a tub of vanilla ice cream from the freezer with one hand, the other arms still carrying Emma who was being very clingy. Henry stood, apparently immobilized. Snow arranged two bowls, two spoons, cherries, whipped cream and chocolate syrup on the counter.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Charming was gazing and Gold expectantly. The latter cleared his throat before starting. "Well, the good news is the adult Emma, the real Emma, is still in there. It seems like our Queen did some fancy spell work and merged the two: adult Emma and child Emma. She must have had help like she said though because it was complicated and Regina, even Regina isn't that powerful." Charming didn't know whether to smile or cry. "Do you want to hear the bad news?"
"Come on Gold, don't play games."
"Okay, okay. The bad news is that I don't know how to fix it. In fact, I don't think it can be fixed without some of Emma's own magic. Right now you're stuck."
"But how can she do magic? She couldn't control it when she was twenty eight. How can she control it at four?" Charming asked. Gold simply shrugged and it took everything in the prince not to grab him by the neck.
"That," Gold stated, grasping his cane tightly in his hand and moving toward the door "is above my skill level."
"Come on!" Neal exclaimed, grabbing his father's arm.
"What do you want me to say Bae? I don't know how to break that spell," Gold replied.
"Promise to try then," he shot back. Gold paused, piercing Neal's gaze. He nodded but continued out the door. "I'll work on him," Neal told Charming.
Charming nodded curtly. He hadn't really given himself the chance to digest Neal and Emma's history. Whenever he thought of this man's hands . . . or worse anywhere near his daughter's body, it made his blood run cold. But right now, they had bigger fish to fry. He looked over to the kitchen where Emma was sitting on the counter, putting her ninth cherry on top of her Sunday; she didn't seem to notice Henry studying her every move. His ice cream remained unadorned.
"Hey Emma, honey, I think that's enough cherries," Snow said, smiling. Emma nodded and placed the jar down, picking up her spoon. Charming walked over and placed a firm hand on Henry's shoulder.
"It'll be okay kid. Mr. Gold said that your mom is in there. We just have to figure out a way to get her back."
"Really?" Henry asked, looking up at his grandfather. His eyes were swimming with tears. Charming nodded. He ruffled the boy's hair.
"You bet! I guess you're just going to have to be patient."
"I can do that," Henry answered, pulling the bottle of chocolate syrup toward him. Charming's face broke into a grin.
"That's my boy."
Several bowls of ice cream and several more glasses of wine later, Red, Neal and Henry got up to leave. "Bye Emma," they all said, waving at her. She had chocolate syrup smeared all over her face and she couldn't seem to sit still.
"Bye," she said back shyly. The three said goodbye to Charming and Snow, Henry and Red adding hugs and Neal offering a handshake.
An hour later, Emma crashed. She had been running back and forth, from one side of the room to the other, her bemused parents watching from the couch, when she tripped on the edge of the carpet. She fell, landing hard on the wood floor. A wail such as neither Charming nor Snow had ever heard escaped the girl. They both rushed to her side.
"Sweetheart are you okay?" Charming asked, scooping her into his arms and rocking her back and forth.
"I-I w-w-want m-m-m-m-my b-b-blanket," Emma wailed, knowing she had left it behind. She dissolved into loud, racking sobs.
"Shh, shh baby girl," Charming soothed, planting a kiss on her forehead.
"It's okay honey," Snow added, stroking her face tenderly. "I'll get your blanket, Mama will find it." Emma looked at her in disbelief, tears falling fast down her face.
"You have my blanket?" she asked, hiccupping. Snow nodded and left the room. It warmed her heart that, even if she hadn't been there through Emma's childhood, at least the blanket she had made had given her sweet child some comfort. She rooted around in Emma's closet before finding the soft cream colored wool. The wool had come from Charming's sheep and he had shorn it himself. He had taught Snow how to wash it in big copper pots with lye soap then how to card it. Though she hadn't done it all herself, the carding, spinning and plying (she did have a kingdom to run after all) she had done all of the knitting and embroidery.
Snow hurried down the stairs, producing the blanket proudly. Emma let out a little gasp of surprise and grabbed it hungrily, burying her face in it. "Blankie," she murmured reverently. Charming continued to rock her back and forth, back and forth. He was humming a tune Snow couldn't place under his breath. Emma's eye lids began to droop. Her thumb found her mouth while her other hand clutched the only possession she had ever claimed for herself, the only thing that had ever been really hers. Every few moments, her breath hitched, still recovering from her tantrum.
Snow found her camera in the drawer and pulled it out. While Charming wasn't looking, she snapped a shot. Emma's eyes were softly closed and Charming was planting a tender kiss on her curly head. They both seemed to fit so well together. With a soft pang, she remembered handing the self same girl and blanket to her husband all of those years ago. That had been the most precious moment of her life; this was the second.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I hope you liked it. It's going to be a while before they find a way to reverse the spell, so don't worry. I do have a plan though!
