A/N: Sorry for the slow update! I've already got a great deal more on my computer, but I'd like at least two reviews before I update again. Reviews make me happy!
I stared with disbelief at the trapdoor in the ground. It seemed innocent enough. I glanced up at Cloud's face – his jaw was tightly clenched, glaring at the trapdoor with loathing.
"What's the deal with the trapdoor? Is it really a gateway to Hell?" I asked aloud. Cloud looked down at me, his eyes hard.
"It's one of four trapdoors that lead into Hell, yes. Each trapdoor leads you to the same place, no matter where you enter it from. It takes you to the Circle of Light, and once you're there you've got to take one of the four pathways shown. Unless you're me," Cloud added bitterly.
"Pathways? Isn't Hell supposed to be made up of different levels?" I queried. Cloud shook his head tightly.
"No. There's a single level, but different pathways to get through it. They lead you through different places, each varying with what sorts of monsters and demons are inside and varying in the trials you have to face. It's a terrible place to be." Cloud turned around, ushering me through the door before him and closed it behind us, turning the heavy wheel so the iron bar locked the door once more. I noticed the strain he had to put on turning the wheel and didn't think I would be venturing down here on my own any time soon. There was no way I'd be able to turn the wheel alone. Cloud ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair and led me out of the antechamber, closing the door behind us and leading the way toward the entrance hall.
"Wait, Cloud?" I called. He slowed and allowed me to walk side by side with him. His mako-infused eyes traced over the dress and my body underneath it. "Do you know much about Hell?" I asked. His face hardened.
"More than I'd like," he offered. "You want to know about it?" I nodded eagerly. He slowed his walk. I could tell Cloud didn't like talking about what he knew, but was willing to oblige my request. I walked close enough to him so our arms brushed, remembering Aerith's earlier words. Don't be afraid to touch him, she'd said.
"Depictions of Hell vary on what culture you view them through. The Egyptians viewed Hell as a place of total annihilation and destruction. In the Christian faith, Hell is a place where the wicked go to be punished for their sins. Buddhists believe Hell is contains six layers of places for rebirth. All of them have similar ideas, but none of them are completely accurate. Only one who has seen Hell for everything it is can say for sure what's down there," he began. I listened intently. I didn't exactly understand how a trapdoor to Hell could be a clue to why I was with him, but maybe there was a chance he would let something slip.
"Do you know what's down there?" I wondered if he would really tell me. Cloud hesitated.
"Yes." A light shudder ran through his body. It was an unpleasant subject we'd touched on. I didn't prod any further. I wanted him to tell me on his own terms. "There are four paths one can choose to take; The Burning City, the Dead Plains, the Black River or the Eternal Forest. Each path eventually leads to one of the others and only by passing through each can one reach Sephiroth." My spine tingled at the mention of each path and the mention of this new name.
"Have you been through each path?" I wondered. Cloud stayed silent for a few footsteps before he answered.
"No. I get a pardon," he answered coldly. His voice was filled with steel. I arched one of my eyebrows. Cloud's face continued to darken and I decided that we were finished talking on the subject. I didn't answer. Instead, I hooked my arm through his, pressing my other palm against his forearm, hoping to give him the comfort of my presence. Cloud seemed to calm under my touch. We walked in companionable silence to the entrance hall. I listened to the sounds of our footsteps and felt nothing but the touch of his arm hooked through mine and the thump of my heart against my ribcage.
We reached the entrance hall and stood before the grand staircase. He stayed silent, removing his arm from mine and taking my hand. He lifted it and pressed the back of my hand to his mouth one time, striking eyes fixed on mine.
"You look so beautiful in that dress," his voice was low, meant only for me. I tried not to swoon at his words. I blushed, unable to control myself. How I could be so strong in front of a target and so weak before him made my head spin.
"Thank you," I breathed, feeling lightheaded. Cloud smiled warmly.
"I will see you tomorrow night, for dinner," he told me. "Unfortunately I will not be able to join you tonight, as I have other matters to attend to. Wear something like what you have on." I tried not to let my disappointment show. Cloud let my hand fall to my side gently before he turned and disappeared through a secret passageway under the stairs. I remained where I stood, dazed. Had he actually told me I looked beautiful? I looked down at my dress, realizing that it hugged my body tightly, introducing me to the curves I never knew I had. I touched my hair; the hair that framed my face and almost matched my eyes. I returned to my room, mind turning and thinking about tomorrow's dinner.
I rushed to the armoire, pulling open the doors with a flourish. There were many different sorts and styles of clothes inside, but I was looking for one thing in particular. I had seen it earlier, hanging among the other dresses. My fingers brushed soft silk and I knew I had found what I looked for.
I pulled down a black silk dress, embellished with silver swirls. The dress was sleeveless, encroaching over my chest and forming a collar that covered my neck. There was a teardrop shaped patch of skin visible just over the dip in my collarbone. This was the dress I would wear to dinner. I laid it gently over the back of my chair and drifted to my bed, collapsing on the soft mattress. I felt happy and content, something I hadn't felt in a long time. I almost didn't miss my old village and the dirtiness of it. I definitely missed my mother, and Merie.
I missed the old, pitted wood of the targets and the rusty, dented knives in the weapon shed. I missed the camaraderie of my mother and Merie, who would banter like pros, never meaning what they said. Thinking of them brought an ache to my heart. Tears stung my eyes and I lifted my arm to cover them, keeping the tears from spilling over. I didn't regret coming to stay with Cloud, but there were some things I would definitely miss.
Like the constant business. I thought I was going to die of boredom in the castle. There was nothing to do! Back home, there was always work to be done. Something always needed to be cleaned. Whether it was dishes that needed to be done or mending clothes or gathering herbs in the small garden we kept out back, our hands were never idle. But this constant down time was going to drive me crazy. I sat up, eyeing the desk I had. I was positive there was paper and something to write with inside. I went to it, opened all the drawers and sure enough, there was a stack of stationary paper and a pen with which to write. I sat on the stool tucked in the alcove underneath the desk and began to write.
Dearest Mother,
I hope you will be pleased to know that everything is going fine here. Cloud is very good to me. It's only been a little while, but I've already managed to get my hands on some throwing knives. I bet you can imagine how pleased I was to fall into that familiar routine! I even sparred with Cloud. He's got great strength yet somehow I managed to claim victory for my own. The castle I'm staying in is very large! I think you would find it to your liking; it's grand and feels like home to me already. The food is almost as good as yours!
I haven't seen many people in the castle; it just seems to be Cloud, Chamberlain, myself as well as a few guards and a girl I met when I arrived. Her name is Aerith. She's very nice to me and says she was brought here a year ago for the same reason I was. However, her arrangement didn't work out, so I'm thinking she was replaced with me. Aerith won't tell me why I'm here, though. She says I've got to figure it out on my own, and that part infuriates me! Nobody has given me a single clue!
Tonight I have my first dinner with Cloud. I wore a silver dress earlier and he seemed to like it a lot, so I'm wearing a black and silver one to dinner. If only you could see me! I remember how you always used to beg me to wear dresses like Merie would, yet I never did! Have you told Merie I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly? I really don't want to lose friendship with her, and I imagine she doesn't want that either. I know she is probably cross with me, but tell her I miss her and all of her beautiful dresses. I love you so much and I think of you many times during the downtime I frequently have. I hope to visit you soon.
Love, Tifa
I folded the letter and sealed it inside an envelope. I regretted sounding superficial in my writing, but I didn't need to worry her. I already knew she was a wreck back home. I penned the name of my village on the front and pushed the envelope aside, hoping Chamberlain could arrange for it to be sent home. I pulled another sheet of paper in front of me and settled in to write something else.
Aerith – friend or enemy? What exactly is her relationship with Cloud?
Chamberlain – is he persuadable? Could I get him to reveal some secrets?
Cloud – what is he to me? What was (is?) he to Aerith?
I sat and tapped the pen against my chin, unable to think of anything else to write. I wondered if Aerith had been this confused when she had first arrived to his castle. I wondered if Chamberlain had seen this happen before. How many times had he gone to collect a girl from her home to bring her here? How many times had he been forced to keep his knowledge to himself? I slammed my fists down, getting increasingly frustrated. I pushed away from the desk and stalked angrily to the door, tired of staying inside my room.
I slipped into the hall, shutting the door quietly behind me. The hall was brightly lit with oil lamps, the flames inside the glass dancing. The hallway was warm and homey. I slowed and glanced up at the paintings and tapestries as I passed them. Each wall hanging depicted a scene from nature. In one, a red fox was perched atop a mossy log, cleaning its paw while mice scampered about at its feet. Another showed an eagle snatching a silver fish from a still river. There were small end tables placed throughout the hall, each holding a vase of flowers. The flowers looked healthy and well-watered; brightly colored and open to catch the artificial light. I kept moving, trailing my fingertips along the wall of the small staircase when I reached it. I emerged from there onto the landing of the grand staircase, freezing when I saw who was at the bottom.
Aerith had Cloud pinned against the banister at the very bottom, leaning against him. She was clutching his shirt with both of her hands and they were talking fast and low. Cloud seemed angry; he kept shaking his head and frowning, grasping her forearms forcefully and shaking them as if her were about to push her away. I could tell Aerith wasn't pleased with what was being said. Her normally serene face was tight with unhappiness, her mouth a stiff line. Cloud turned his head away and that's when Aerith grasped his face in her hands and kissed him.
The breath left me in a rush and I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I leaned against the wall for support – my legs no longer had the strength to hold me up. Cloud didn't seem to be resisting her anymore. He didn't let go of her forearms, but his grip loosened. Aerith kissed him passionately, seeming to make up for something. Her eyes opened slightly and her gaze met mine.
Instead of stopping, like I figured she would, her eyes burned with an unspoken sneer. The innocent, always-willing-to-help Aerith had a dark side, and she was showing it now. Aerith closed her eyes and made a show of wrapping her arms around his neck. I backed up quickly, disappearing from the picture. Anger was replacing the shock. I clenched my fists tightly together and stalked up the hallway back to my room, slamming the door behind me and pacing the floor. How she could possibly have the nerve to look me in the eye as she kissed Cloud… especially after our moments of friendship were beyond me.
I threw myself on my bed, breathing hard, heart racing. I wasn't sure if my eyes had deceived me or if I had seen the truth. Aerith had been kissing Cloud. She'd seen me and she hadn't stopped. I buried my face in the many pillows I had on the bed. I felt tears prick my eyes, but they wouldn't come. I was confused more than anything, as well as hurt and angry. I had placed my tentative trust in Aerith and she had smashed it to pieces under the heel of her boot. I worked my way under the covers and curled up, clutching a pillow to my chest. I wasn't sure how long I stayed immobile like that, lost in my thoughts, but it must've been hours.
