Standard disclaimer for a non-standard story.

Chapter 07 - Grab Them by the ...Neko.

Sorry about the issues on the last chapter, I had some issues getting the document uploader to work.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Over the next several weeks, Ranma's attendance record had continued to plummet, and Hinako was becoming more concerned with each absence. He had never been a model student, but he was at least usually present, even when he slept in class!

The more she had looked into the young man's life, the more disturbing it had become. She had read books about heroes with traumatic pasts that seemed tame by way of comparison, and this boy's just kept getting worse! Even her own troubles seemed minor in that light, it might be better to not have a relationship, if Ranma's life was the alternative.

She had been trying to pay closer attention to the dynamic between Ranma and the others, and she was starting to think she might need to have the school bring in a mental health councilor. She only had the authority to require it of a few of the participants, however she felt as if they could all benefit from some therapy, though none more so than their principal... On the other hand, she doubted she could get a large enough team to handle that mess... He was far more 'delinquent' than ANY of the students.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo loved these afternoon training sessions with Ranma, and once she had explained the situation, her grandmother had not only readily agreed to let her out of working, but also promised to keep Mousse occupied during that time. She now had almost all of her afternoons available to spend with her husband, free of her most annoying pests. Even if the work was surprisingly similar, doing it with Ranma and helping Kasumi made it infinitely more gratifying. She had been enjoying it so much in fact, that she had not dared to risk anything, by rubbing it in the faces of her rivals, as tempting as it had been, she kept her word and their secret, which made everything all the more tantalizing.

She was a bit mixed on one aspect, but mostly agreed with Ranma, that caring about her, and wanting to help her, couldn't be a bad thing. So while she did not like misleading Kasumi, everything else about it, was a blast, and seeing Kasumi's pleased look when she would turn around to find something completed, was endlessly entertaining.

Not wanting to risk being caught by the other Tendo girls, they always left the yard to talk for a bit about how the day had gone, and as the days passed, they would talk about other things as well.

"Oi, Shampoo?"

"Yes, Airen?"

"Why is it, yer always so jealous and fightin' with those other girls, but yer workin' ta make Kasumi-san play with you?"

"Onee-chan like helping! Other womens try take Ranma from Shampoo, want husband no be happy, not be good, strong warrior! Make Shampoo fight for husband! Shampoo can no stand see Ranma so unhappy. But Onee-chan make husband happy, no try take from Shampoo, and no is fighter, so why fight, when play more fun? Look like need more fun!" The buxom beauty turned to face Ranma, looking into his eyes with a serious expression on her face. "Onee-chan work too too much. Shampoo proud husband use training to help. Good mens be find hard!" She grinned with a bit of lust in her eyes, but squashed it as she remembered another matter she wanted to discuss. "Airen? See pig-boy lately?"

"No, that jerk ain't been around in a while."

"Shampoo sorry, no can find yet, still look when can."

"Not yer fault, ya can never find the guy when ya need ta... but if it's a bad time, then ya know the bastard will show up. Soon as it's th' most inconvenient."

"Is true, like stupid Mousse."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi could not believe how quickly her work had been getting done lately, even with reading the books she had borrowed and practicing what Ranma had been teaching her, she had been having trouble staying busy. Somehow, despite all of the problems she had been trying to work out, and as stressful as her home life had become, she felt renewed joy in tending to the housekeeping. The idea that her mother was out there, caring about them and looking out for her, was comforting, and it made her feel ...protected. Like when Ranma had been holding her in the hurricane! Kasumi blushed, wondering from where that stray thought had come... 'Are you trying to send me a message, mother?'

She was glad to find the dojo empty, and knelt down to pray, silently asking her mother to give her a sign. She had heard a noise, and when she opened her eyes, there was another set of lingerie, far more risque than the last! They did not look comfortable at all, and had holes in some rather strange places. There were items she could not even identify! She decided that the next time she prayed, she would ask for a more specific sign... maybe a note!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Onee-chan?"

"Yes, Nabiki-chan?"

"I was hoping to get your opinion on a few observations I have had over the last month or two." Kasumi paused and turned to face her younger sister who took that as a cue to continue. "You seem to be very involved in much of the action lately..."

"Whatever could you mean, I hardly ever leave the house, at least no more so than usual, and I never fight, you know that."

"That's not the kind of 'action' I am talking about." Seeing her sister blush was enough confirmation for Nabiki. "See? You know what I mean! If the kidnapping wasn't enough, then you have you running into Ranma naked, then later after that Kodachi incident, and of course there was last week, when you walked into the bathroom ...while Ranma was in there!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise as her mind flashed back to the scene in question.

"What? Did you think I didn't know about that one?"

"...more grown up than I thought..."

Nabiki was planning to keep listing examples, but noticed her sister had drifted off into a daze. Remembering her newly acquired photos, and the member, er model in them, Nabiki also had to refocus herself. "Well, intentional or not, that's between you, Ranma, and Akane, my point is that you are acting an awful lot like a 'Main Character'...!"

"A what? Do you think this is some novel?"

"No, of course not, it's not been that good these days, but that's doesn't change the way you are acting. Just be careful, it can be dangerous to be in the middle of all the ...action." Nabiki blinked. "Speaking of 'action', I have been noticing some rather sexy undergarments on the clothes line lately... Do you have anything you want to tell me about that? I know they are not mine or daddy's, and I doubt they are Ranma or Uncle Saotome's, so are they yours, or Akane's?"

"Oh my! Well, it ...I mean, I guess, they are mine?"

"Oh, well that makes sense, ...WHAT? REALLY? You went out and BOUGHT those skimpy things? Why?"

"No, of course not! ...Mother gave them to me."

"Ooooh, okay. ...Wait ...how, when? You can't be serious!"

"It seems that way..."

Nabiki stood there, her mind boggling... She wanted to ask more, but had learned a long time ago, that sometimes, when it came to her big sister, it was just best not to ask... Changing the subject, she decided to try again, not expecting much. "Are you SURE you don't want me to sell some of that jewelry for you?"

"Actually, yes, you can sell this piece, and keep the customary ten percent for yourself." Kasumi handed her a necklace she had pulled out of her apron pocket.

Nabiki's eyes bugged out! She had not seen that piece when her sister showed them to her, it was one of the most elaborate pieces she had ever seen! Why did her sister have that in her pocket? Was she just waiting her to ask? "Really? Are you sure?" She could not believe it, ten percent of the value could probably put her through at least a year of college, even if she were living on her own!

Kasumi nodded. "It is rather gaudy, and I do not believe I would ever wear such a thing, even if I were to..." Her face blushed brightly as she turned away for a moment. "...get married, and I believe we may be needing the money soon."

"What makes you think that?"

"I do not know, it is just a feeling."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

They had closed the cafe, and Shampoo had locked Mousse in his cage, er 'room' for the night, it was time for her to go on her nightly piglet hunt. There was no telling where the lost boy had gone, and she was not willing to scour all of Japan for the guy, especially not if doing that took her away from Ranma when he was treating her so nicely! If Ryoga ruined her opportunity she would personally cook him up and serve him at the cafe! What she had been doing, was to patrol Nerima every evening, looking for any sign of either of his forms. If the Lost Boy found his way back to town, she hoped to find him first.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

After closing her shop, Ukyo had gone out to one of her suppliers. She bought many of her ingredients there, so the owner regularly allowed her to come in after hours, since she was in school during his normal delivery times, and she would only be able to get deliveries on the weekends otherwise. She had most of her supplies sent on Sundays, but her storage capabilities were limited, and some things would not last, others would not keep. Fresh fixings were crucial to a perfect okonomiyaki!

She had almost made it to the outlet store, when she heard a voice that grated on her nerves more than almost any other coming from a nearby alley.

"Lai, lai! Lai, lai!"

Investigating, Ukyo saw what she feared, Shampoo was messing with something before swearing in Chinese and turning to leave. "No is right one! Shampoo no believe how many black piglet in Nerima! Lost boy deserve name!"

When Shampoo looked up she saw her primary rival blocking her way. "Hey Sugar, whacha doin' out here? Some new scheme ta trap Ranchan?"

"Shampoo look for Pig Boy!"

"Ryoga? Whacha gonna do, try an' set th' guy up with Akane-chan? I tried that once, what a blockhead!"

"No is quite. Shampoo tired Pig Boy use Airen honor for keep secret! No stain husband honor more!"

"Wait! What 'er ya gonna do? Don't kill-!"

"Why? Shampoo no let deception hurt Airen more! Maybe Kote-Girl like Pig Boy more than Ranma?"

"No! A' course not, but just 'cause Ah don't like someone, doesn't mean Ah wanna see 'um dead!"

Shampoo was sick of this hunt, and figured an extra pair of eyes would help, and Ranma did complain that he hated that the two of them always fought, so showing they can also work together, could make him happy! "Shampoo no kill, but no can guarantee Pig-Boy safety either. Only two way find out Shampoo plan. Help Shampoo, or wait, see, and Shampoo take all credit."

Of all the people Ukyo hated working with, Shampoo was near the top of that list, but if she was helping Ranma, then helping her was better than letting her rival get the recognition. "Ah'm listenin'..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had been practicing the latest kata that he had shown her, but she was growing frustrated, and her moves were getting worse not better. Ranma was unsure what to say that would help, he had shown it to her several times, but she remained too stiff. "Ya need ta relax more, this is a 'water' style, so ya have ta flow with th' moves... Ya can't force yerself ta conform."

"I'm sorry Ranma-kun, I cannot seem to get this. I am just so clumsy!"

"Naw, yer not clumsy, Kasumi-san. Yer sister is clumsy, but ya got a grace that's rare outside a' th' art. Like a gymnast er a ...dancer. Have ya ever been t' a dance?" He saw her shyly shake her head. "I never went ta one neither, but fer me, that's 'cuz I hardly never went ta school, but ya did, so what happened? Nobody good enough?" Ranma chuckled.

Kasumi's eyes flew open. "Oh my, no. I just never had time for such things... I was always just too busy, taking care of the house and family. What must you think of me, to say such a thing?"

"That's too bad. I think yer th' nicest, prettiest person I met, an' ya deserve a guy that makes ya happy. Most th' guys I've met here, ain't good enough fer ya, that's fer sure!"

Kasumi was not sure from where this question came, but she had felt compelled to ask it. "What about you then? Are you 'good enough'?"

"Ya gotta be kiddin'? ME? No way! I ain't good enough fer nobody! Just ask anyone who knows me!"

As confused as she had been by her own question, his response almost blew her away with the force behind it. "Many people think you are 'good enough', even Akane-chan is usually willing to fight for you, and I am starting to think that there is not a person alive who really knows you, Ranma-kun."

"Whatcha mean? I ain't hard ta figure out, I'm just a martial artist, that's it."

"So are our fathers, but the three of you, are very different people, with very different motivations. I have been thinking about it, and almost everything I know about you, that I did not observe myself, was something I learned from another person's version of the story, not your version. I would like to hear more of your side of things, would you be willing to sit down and talk with me about them?"

Ranma was suddenly uncomfortable. He was generally a rather private person, and while he trusted Kasumi, he had serious issues opening up to people, it almost always ended badly for him ...one way, or another. However, he could not find a reason to refuse, so tried to deflect it a bit. "Well, I suppose we can talk whenever ya want, even now, but we should do it while we practice."

Kasumi nodded, and Ranma stood behind her. "Okay, now take up th' startin' position. ...Good. Now I'm gonna move yer arms and legs with mine, just relax, and let me guide ya though it." Ranma positioned himself directly behind her, pressing up against her back, and wrapped his arms around hers as he slowly moved her arms and legs with his own as they pushed their way through from one gradual move into another. "Just think of it like a dance. Tai chi is a defensive style, an' noted fer its grace and beauty, so it's perfect fer ya. It represents th' balance a' yin an' yang, an' th' harmony a' th' universe."

At first, when Ranma had positioned himself behind her, she was nervous, mostly about being caught, in what must seem quite lewd from the outside, but slowly the warmth from his body, the breath on her ear, and his gentle touch helped her relax. Soon her body moved without thought, and she simply enjoyed the feelings it had been stirring within her. The music she had been hearing in her head drew to a close as they completed the kata, and a disappointment she had not expected crept into her heart.

"See, ya can do it, if ya just relax, an' let it flow. Now, ya think ya can do it on yer own?"

Kasumi's embarrassment showed plainly as she tried to face away. "I am terribly sorry, Ranma-kun. I do not think I do. Would you mind terribly if we did that again...?"

Ranma felt suddenly hesitant, his unease growing stronger, but he could find no way to deny her request, and agreed. As they flowed into the kata once again, they were both too distracted to hear the sound of the camera's shutter coming from outside.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane had come home earlier than usual that day, her presence causing Shampoo to leave sooner as well. Not wanting Kasumi to have to pick up the slack, Ranma poured everything he had into getting as much done as possible while no one was looking. At the time, he was hanging the laundry on the line, trying not to be spotted by anyone when he saw the grand-master of their style stalking, like a panther, the image sending a chill down Ranma's spine. He had been in the middle of hanging the underwear when he had spotted him, and had a feeling he knew what was about to happen.

"Akane-chan's panties!"

Ranma stayed hidden, until the moment he saw the old man strike, and leapt into action. "Give those back, ya old lecher!"

"Oh, my boy, you want them too? You make an old man proud!"

Snatching the pilfered panties, Ranma hit the old man on the back of the head! "It ain't like that!"

"Close enough! Catch me if you can!" Happosai started to bound away.

Ranma smiled as he poured on some of his extra speed. "Oh I can!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi was hurrying to the backyard, she needed to get the wash hung before it got too late but was unable to find it! She was sure she had loaded it in the washer, but it was no longer there! She had been trying to think of what could have happened to it, when she heard a commotion. As she rounded the corner, Happosai ran past her, kicking up a breeze, causing her skirt to flutter as the small whirlwind blew by her. Ranma was too focused on Happosai to appear to pay much attention, but grandfather noticed...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Happosai assumed he must have let his guard down for Ranma to have gotten the drop on him so easily, but no matter, it was not as if he had really been trying very hard. Spotting Kasumi, the ancient martial artist kicked in the extra speed, and ran right for her, flipping her skirt in the process.

What he saw bewildered the man, but he could now be certain that it had been Kasumi who had been collecting his gifts. She was wearing red lace, with matching garter belt and stockings! The vision of the angelic Kasumi wearing such devilish undergarments was too much for the founder of 'Anything Goes', who collapsed as Ranma pounded on him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Akane was livid, a feeling not wholly unusual to her, and she was using that anger to focus on the most productive training she knew, smashing Ranma-shaped dummies. 'The baka! What a month I've been having! It's just one perverted thing after another! Even with a teacher, and one who looked preadolescent most of the time no less! Are the girls chasing after Ranma already not enough, am 'I' not enough? Ooooooooh!'

She used to be the most popular girl in school, and now even the boys who wanted her, were lusting after her iinazuke! Boys! They were all just such PERVERTS! She had to get stuck with the one guy who chased after almost everyone, both boys and girls, and now TEACHERS TOO!

...She was setting up her fourth training dummy, when she heard her eldest sister scream and dropped everything and ran to see what had happened!

As she came around to the side of the house, she saw her sister holding her skirt down, and blushing, looking very much like Marilyn Monroe, Happosai holding his nose in a pool of blood, and Ranma, clutching something familiar in his hand. "Ranma, what did you do to Onee-chan?"

"It wasn't me, it was th' old man!"

"Yeah, right! I'll bet you were stealing underwear together again!"

"I wasn't! I was trainin'!"

"Ranma-kun, what is that in your hand there? Oh my!"

"Training? Your 'training', is playing with MY PANTIES, ...you BASTARD!"

"Oh Ranma, you make me SO PROUD!"

"Shut it, Old Man!" Ranma pounded him in the head again to emphasize his point. "I was DOIN' laundry, not STEALIN' it!"

"Oh my!"

"You PERVERT! Is that what you call training? Playing with our underwear? How DARE you? Only a real pervert like you would go that far!"

"Go how far? Ta do laundry? Ta help around th' house? Why's that perverted? Because yer too lazy ta do it?"

"BAKA! Leave it to you, to only be able to think of perverted stuff to do to help!"

"Uncute Tomboy! I'll have ya know I've been helpin' with ALL th' chores!" Realizing what he said, Ranma glanced at Kasumi to see if she heard it, the confused and hurt look on her face told him everything he needed to know, as he fell to his knees. "...Kuso!"

He did not have to feel badly for long though, as the darkness crashed into him.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"Ranma-kun, Ranma-kun, whatever shall we do with you..." Kasumi had refused to allow anyone else in the room, especially Genma, while Ranma was recovering, making sure to take good care of him until he awoke. She had a lot to think about, and wanted to make sure she was the first to talk to him.

Ranma groaned before he opened his eyes, looked surprised to see Kasumi sitting next to him, quickly preparing a cup of tea and an analgesic to help with the headache he was sure to have. It still hurt to move, but Ranma never let that stop him, so he sat up to drink.

"Ranma-kun, so you were the one who has been helping me all this time?" Kasumi's calm face, waited patiently for the younger man's answer.

Ranma nodded, looking sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell ya, but it was trainin', an fer it ta work, ya couldn't know..."

There was a sadness in her eyes, but Ranma could not meet their gaze. "So, then, am I to assume that you are also the one who has been taking the shrine offerings, and leaving ...gifts?"

"Huh? What er' ya talkin' about?"

Ranma looked dumbfounded, and Kasumi knew the boy had the worst 'pokerface' on the planet. She believed Ranma and that filled her with a happiness that surprised her. "Then I must thank you Ranma-kun. No one else had ever really helped me before, and you really made my life easier. You told Akane-chan that this was training?"

Ranma nodded as finally looked up into Kasumi's eyes. "Th' whole point of it was like th' rocks from before, but instead a' catchin' rocks, I was tryin' ta help you without you seein' me."

Kasumi felt a tear form in her eye. "That was ...very kind of you to use your training to help me, I cannot believe anyone would do such a thing for me."

"Well, Shampoo's been helpin' fer a while too... AH! No, don't cry, it's just, yer always so nice, it, just only seemed right. It's 'cause no one ever helps ya, that I just had ta!"

"Oh my, you have made me very happy, Ranma-kun!"

"Made you 'VERY HAPPY'?" The commotion outside the door had grown, and the both of sighed. Kasumi leaned in, and felt his forehead with her own, making sure he did not have a fever.

"I'm not sick, just a little bruised..."

"I know." Kasumi stood and turned toward the door before turning back to glance at Ranma. "I will be going to prepare dinner, you just rest and get better." Kasumi opened the door as Soun, Genma, and Nabiki scattered, trying to look innocent.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

The look Kasumi had given them, left no doubt that they ought to leave Ranma to rest, which gave him a bit of time before his father had stomped in, looking quite upset as he tried to kick his son out of his futon.

Ranma rolled backwards, resting against the wall. "Whatta ya want, Pops? Shouldn't you be chea-, er 'playing' shogi?"

Genma ignored the jab, and cut to the heart of the matter. "Boy! I've been noticing, you sure are doing an awful lot of 'woman's work'."

"Ya 'noticed' that, did you? Surprised, seein' how much time ya spendin' with th' old man lately, an' haven't mentioned it 'till now..."

"Sure did!" If by 'noticed' one meant overhearing Akane ranting... "That's not very 'manly', now is it, Boy?"

"Nope, hangin' out with th' pervert sure isn't, or how 'bout shirking yer debts, that 'manly' 'nuff fer ya?"

"And what 'debt' is that?"

"The one that all a' us owe ta Kasumi-san fer one! Both us, an' th' Tendos!" Ranma glared at his father. "We might be here as Tendo-san's guests, but that ain't who does all a' th' work in this house!"

"What does that matter? You're here for a reason!"

"Yeah, 'cause you an' Tendo-san got it in yer heads that forcing me 'n Akane ta marry each other was a good idea, an' ta do that, ya also force lots a' extra work on th' one person in this house who does anythin', makin' it three lives ya ruined, just with that one thing, an' that don't hardly scratch th' surface! If ya can't see how that means ya owe a debt a' gratitude ta poor Kasumi-san, then I gotta ask, 'Is there th' slightest shred a' honor left in ya, or ja even have any ta begin with'?"

"You'd better watch it, Boy!"

"...or WHAT? Whacha gonna do? Beat me? Yeah right, ya ain't been able ta do that in ferever!"

"Your old man still has tricks you haven't seen, don't think I couldn't take you out if I wanted to!"

"With how badly ya screwed up my life an' everyone else's ya touched, ya might as well! That's 'bout th' only way my honor can be maintained, thanks ta yer messes! So go ahead!" Ranma just crossed his arms and plopped down into a cross-legged sitting position, refusing to meet his father's eyes. "...I'm waiting."

"Don't tempt me!"

"Why not? Ya might have ta prove how ya word's only as good as long as it helps ya? An' without me around, ya wouldn't be able ta stay here, ya might have to get a job, an' carry on yer own school! Then maybe YOU'D be the one ta have ta marry Akane!"

"Why yooouuuuu...!"

"Ya ain't gittin' no younger, Old Man, an' I don't see no women willingly havin' yer babies, I can't believe anyone ever did! Admit it, ya stole me from another couple! Was that it, which hospital was it? Maybe I can find my REAL parents!"

"NO! I had an arranged marriage, like most of our family..."

"That WOULD be th' only way... Wait, what family? We got a family?"

"Nothing, we have no family, where did you ever hear such a crazy story?"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi had just finished setting the table, and begun calling the others to the table. As she rounded the corner to the stairs, she heard the voices coming from the guest room. She did not want to listen, but it was so loud, she could not tune it out. Some of the things she heard gave her a warm feeling inside, but other things made her blood run cold. She had waited outside of the door, trying not to interrupt, but only being able to listen to their argument for so long before she just could not stand it any longer.

Calm as could be, Kasumi walked into the room, bowing to Ranma, who was still sitting in the middle of the room. "Ranma-kun, if you would like to come to the table, dinner is ready. Perhaps you can discuss this ...another time."

Genma looked surprised, he was getting the distinct impression that he was being ignored. "Kasumi-chan, what about me?"

"I suppose you may come too." Quickly turning, she left the room, quickly followed by Ranma.

Going around the table, Kasumi started serving, as always, with her father first, but for his friend, she pulled out another platter of bamboo before moving on to her sisters.

"But, Kasumi-chan, I am not a Pan- ...da." Unseen by most of the household, and in the blink of an eye, the eldest Tendo daughter shot a look toward Genma that left his blood cold, and reminded him of another woman he had not seen in many years, before returning to her usual self. Frightened by the old memory, Genma took his platter in one hand, a glass of water in the other, and went outside before dumping the glass over his head, triggering his curse.

Seeing her sister give what must have been Genma's portions to Ranma, Nabiki was wondering what she missed. Things were getting much more interesting...

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Knowing he could not avoid everyone, Ranma did his best to remain scarce, heading in one direction, before doubling back, and heading for one of the most remote points on campus, furthest from the building. He had hoped to buy himself enough time to at least eat his lunch in peace. Kasumi's bento for him had continued to show pictures of him performing various martial arts moves, and this one was no exception. What WAS different, was that he did not recognize the move. It showed him, with his leg extended, and lines that seemed to show him spinning...

He studied the image for a moment, trying to figure out how he could do it, before he saw the words written in the rice, and laughed. "Ha! 'Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku', th' Tornado Whirlwind Leg? Where did Kasumi-san get th' idea fer this one?"

As expected, Ukyo was the first to find him, looking mildly annoyed, but glad to have found him alone nonetheless. Curiously, she looked at his lunch box, something about it struck a familiar chord with her. "Hiya, Ranchan, whatcha got there?"

The excited voice of the lavender-haired beauty preceded her as she hopped over the wall. "Shampoo know! Is from too too fun game, play all time!"

"A game? So ya know how ta do this move?"

Nodding enthusiastically as she bounced up and down, the young woman beamed with pride. "HAI! Shampoo know! Is quarter circle away, and kick! Come Shampoo room, show Airen anytime!"

"Huh? Whatcha mean, 'quarter circle away', an' what, just a side kick? I don't get whatcha mean..."

"Hey! Oooo, that's what it was! It's a video game! Ah remember that from my last school, th' boys used t' play it in th' arcade! ...Wait! Do ya mean ya have a video game in yer room?"

"Shampoo no can have?"

"Well, no, it ain't that, it just seems odd..."

"Why? Because Shampoo from small village in China, no can know about modern thing? Shampoo stupid, is what say?"

"It weren't meh who said it, Sugar. Ya did that yerself!"

"Ohohohoho! The strumpet walked right into that one!" Kodachi, in her gym uniform, wrapped her lithe body around the object of her affection, causing him to stiffen! Unfortunately for her, not in the way that she, and the others for that mater, would have liked if they were in her place.

"Delinquents! How dare you harass that boy on campus! Some of you do not even go to this school! Prepare to be punished!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

By the time Akane had found him, the melee had broken out, and the four women were each pulling on one of Ranma's limbs. Ranma felts as if he were being drawn and quartered, and had only wished he had been able to eat his lunch before the fight started... "Akane ...help?"

"RAAAAAANNNNNNMMAAAAAAA, you JERK!" After pounding the prone pugilist, Akane pulled out a bucket of cold water, dousing the lot of them. "Maybe you should cool off, Romeo!"

"The red-headed harlot is here too. Where did you go, Ranma-sama?" Turning toward Ranma's cursed form, Kodachi started pointing her accusing finger. "This is your fault! The moment you show up, Ranma-sama left, you must be put down!"

Ranma was paying the glib gymnast no mind, he had not even noticed the activation of his own curse, the pink and purple pussycat in his face preventing him from thinking straight, and still being pulled in several directions did not help matters.

Shampoo could not think straight as Ranma's panicked breath blew across the fur of her nether regions. She hated that she was causing her husband's fear, nor the hand upon her back, but she was feeling too good to fight it... Her purring seemed to make Ranma panic and breathe more heavily, which in turn, made her feel better, and instinctively purr more...

"You always like a naked girl in your face, so HERE!"

Hearing the low growls from her would-be iinazuke, Akane thought that perhaps she might have taken her righteous punishment too far...

The eruption of ki knocked everyone back as Ranma shot into the air! Seeing that no one was making an aggressive move, Neko-Ranma took off, running as fast as his shorter, female legs could take him ...which was incredibly fast. Even the ki draining from Hinako's coin did not slow the 'scaredy-cat's progress.

"Get back here, Baka!"

"Ah'll protect ya, Ranchan!"

"That strumpet won't get away from me! Ohohohohohoho!"

"Leave Saotome-kun alone, you delinquents!"

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

When one is chased, the feline instinct is to run, and running is what Neko-Ranma did. It did not take long before Akane and Hinako were left in the dust, and Kodachi took a bit longer, but Ukyo and Shampoo-neko were much harder to lose. The immediate threat passed, Neko-Ranma-Onna was distracted by a familiar scent.

It did not take too long to track down the origin of the heavenly aroma, and Ranma found himself pouncing into the kitchen where he saw Kasumi cleaning up the leftovers from their lunch. Seeing one of the few friendly people Ranma knew, the kitty started to rub its face on Kasumi's leg!

Kasumi jumped when she felt something brush her, and Ranma backed away from her sudden reaction. Seeing the fearful look in the young martial artist's face, Kasumi knelt down, snapping her fingers, and making kissing sounds. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty, it is okay, I will not hurt you..."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Shampoo had changed back and fought with Ukyo for a time after losing Ranma, each blaming the other for their loss. It was not until they saw Akane run passed that they saw the futility of what they were doing while Ranma was still out there, lost, and they quickly rejoined the search!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Kasumi relaxed on the back veranda, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face and the other warmth in her lap. Even the excitement coming from the front door could not ruin her mood. She was glad to hear Akane say she was home, she had been worried she might have to move in order to answer the door.

Kodachi had not found them again and Hinako had to get back to her class, so the remaining three women split up, intending to search the house, when Akane thought to shout, "Kasumi-nee, you haven't seen Ranma, have you?"

"Why yes, yes I have."

Following the sound of the acting Tendo matriarch's voice, the other young women saw a MALE Ranma, curled up in a ball in Kasumi's lap, nuzzling his face against her!

The collective "WHAT?!" that filled the yard, woke Ranma, who sat bolt upright, looking around, wondering where he was, and what he had been doing!

"Ranchan, how could ya?"

"Airen! No need run so far, Shampoo right here!"

"Ranma, how DARE you, you PERVERT!"

"What-I-do-this-time?"

"How can you say that, when you are like that?" Akane pointed to Ranma and he followed her gaze to see Kasumi under him.

"Erk! How'd I get here?" He tried to jump up and run, but found himself unable to resist the gentle hand resting on his head.

"As if sensei wasn't bad enough, now you are hitting on my ONEE-CHAN? Can you sink any lower?"

Kasumi was too polite to say anything, but was somewhat offended by her sister's implications once again. 'What is wrong with me? Why am 'I' the lowest someone can sink? Am I THAT awful to you Akane-chan? Could I not also be desirable too? Just because I did not have all of the guys fighting for my attention in school, doesn't mean I am ugly, does it?' Unable to bear it any longer, Kasumi ignored her sister's continued rant, which was occasionally interrupted by the others, and focused on the handsome young man in her lap. "Ranma-kun, you do not think I am unattractive too, do you?"

"What? NO! Yer one a' th' most beautiful and feminine girls I know!" Still unable to move, due to Kasumi's hand, Ranma was forced to remain, even after realizing what he had said, and slapping his hands over his mouth.

"You ...BASTARD!"

Ranchan, how could ya?" Ukyo jumped over the wall, tears leaking from her eyes as she ran away.

"Even Shampoo no ignore that, Airen! Make up to Shampoo later! Shampoo be back!"

"I can't believe how DISGUSTING you are!"

'..I said 'one of'...' Watching Akane storm back into the house, Ranma exhaled, glad not to have been pounded while this close to Kasumi. ...'close to Kasumi! ACK!' "Um, could ya, maybe, let me up now?"

"I am sorry Ranma-kun, but could you allow me to be selfish, for just a little while longer? I always wanted a pet."

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Nabiki had heard what happened, so she quickly put someone else in charge of her afternoon activities, and ran home as quickly as she had been able. Neither Akane nor Ukyo had come back, and no one else knew what happened after Neko-Ranma ran off campus! It was up to her to find out what had occurred.

When she arrived, Kasumi was working in the kitchen, Akane was in the main room watching television, and Ranma was nowhere to be seen. She decided that Akane was the one who was there when it began, so she should start with her, besides, it was much more fun to rattle her scowling younger sister's cage.

Putting on her best smile, Nabiki casually strolled in, carefully gauging her mood, making sure she knew how far she could push her sister before it became detrimental to her health. "Hiya, Akane-chan, where's Ranma-kun?"

Akane did not waste a second before snapping out her answer between handfuls of chips, the crumbs from which were flying everywhere. "Who cares?"

'Quite a few people, many I am sure willing to pay for the information...' "Considering what happened at lunch, I would have thought you would. Did you have fun?"

"Fun? Chasing that pervert all over town? You have GOT to be kidding me!"

"So, what exactly caused that to start anyway...?"

"Oh you know, Ranma was being a pervert, flirting with those other girls, and Shampoo changed to a cat, and got in Ranma's face..."

"And you had nothing to do with that?"

"Of course not! Why would I? It's not MY fault the guy can't have lunch without being disgusting! I should have just gone back to class..."

"Well, if not you, then who else could snap the guy out of it?"

Akane glared at the back yard, where she had found her feline fiancee earlier that day. "APPARENTLY, it doesn't matter who it is!" Nabiki wondered what that meant exactly, but did not have to wait for long. "Kasumi!"

"Yes, Akane-chan?"

"Kasumi!"

"Yes, Akane-chan?"

"I can't believe it, rubbing noses with Kasumi-nee of all people!"

"That was not how it happened."

"I am sure, you two can be back to rubbing each others noses again in no time..." Nabiki couldn't completely cover her smirk.

"WHAT? No way! I'm done, we were never engaged in the first place!"

"Hey, if you are going to give Ranma away, I'll give you a hundred yen. Why don't you sell to me? I don't mind at all!" Nabiki smiled with yen flashing in her eyes.

Ranma stepped into view, waving his hands in front of his face. "Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Akane is bad enough, but I am NOT going through THAT again!"

"Why you...!"

"Wait, you mean you would rather stay engaged to Akane, than to switch to me?"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"If I HAD to make a choice... Which I'm NOT! I don't wanna marry ANYONE! Leave me outta it!"

"FINE, switch to whoever you want! I never asked for any of this!" Akane stormed out of the room, slamming every door she passed.

"So what do you say, Ranma-kun? I'll even wipe your books clean..." Nabiki knew a bargain when she saw one ...usually.

"Not a chance!"

Nabiki had been watching closely, but the boy had moved so quickly it almost seemed as if he had just vanished on the spot. She did notice that all of the spilled chips were now gone, and the room looked as clean as if Kasumi had just finished in there. 'Curiouser and curiouser...' She was so intrigued that she forgot how to think 'good Japanese'.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

"...But dad, first there was all the playing with our underwear, and then in one day, the guy flirted with Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi, and even Hinako-sensei, and then came home and molested Kasumi-onee-chan!"

"You did WHAT?!"

"I DIDN'T DO NUTHIN'!"

"Oh? Then your face was NOT in onee-chan's lap, rubbing all over each other?"

"Oh my, that is not what happened!"

"IS THIS THE KIND OF SON YOU RAISED, SAOTOME-KUN?"

"Well the master HAS been around an awful lot lately..." 'At least my wife would probably approve...'

"I AIN'T TH' PERVERT!"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO KASUMI-CHAN?"

"No one did anything to me!"

"There's no need to protect that idiot, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"But, that is not what happened!"

"Why are you taking Ranma's side?"

"I am not taking anyone's side."

"Well, you two do seem to have grown awfully close lately..."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you KNOW what 'I' mean... What have you been doing together?"

"It's okay, Nee-chan, you can tell us. What did that pervert do to you?"

"I DIDN'T DO NUTHIN', I AIN'T LIKE THAT!"

Kasumi was getting frustrated, she could not believe that no one was listening to her. She just wanted to put an end to this whole ordeal and finish her cleaning for the day, and she had hoped by answering their question, it would do that. She was wrong. "Training, we were helping each other train. Now can we stop this? I have work to do..."

"What? You will train with Onee-chan, but not with me?"

"Ya get mad, an' think ya know better already! 'Sides, ain't fer fightin'!"

Still annoyed about being turned down so flatly, and always looking for a bit of entertainment, Nabiki decided to kick things up another notch. "Oh, then what, exactly, were you 'training' our onee-chan to do? Does it involve the word 'master'? Is that why you are always doing it so late at night?"

"How dare you corrupt my daughter!"

"You pervert! GET OUT! I NEVER want to SEE you again!"

"FINE!" With that, Ranma was out of the room before his after image faded! He then ran up to the guest room, gathering what he could, before leaping from the window, planning to get as lost as a certain acquaintance of his.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

I know that is kind of a mean note to end it on, but it works. Don't worry, you will not have to wait too long...

Thank you for reading! Come back next time for, 'Look What You Made Me Do!', or 'Hell Hath No Furries...'