7

I was sitting in a tree. It was really cold, and I was trying to keep warm. I heard a snap and looked to the side. There was a pair of eyes looking at me through the leaves. I recognized those eyes. Rue. All of a sudden I could see her. She was smiling slightly. She put her finger to her lip to signal for me to be silent, and pointed to the ground. I looked down, seeing the Rue wolf mutt climbing the tree I was hiding in. The same pair of eyes coming from it as the girl sitting in the tree next to mine. I looked back at Rue, fear evident on my face, silently pleading for help. She just smiled some more, signaled for me to be silent once again, and flew away. The wolf mutt was now almost on me. I felt a scream building inside of me, and I released it just as the mutt got my leg.

I opened my eyes to see that I was in my room. I screamed for a second longer. Then I tried to calm down. I counted to ten over and over again, though I knew no matter how many times I counted, it will never help. I demanded my heart rate to slow down and wrapped the blanket tighter around me. I was paralyzed with fear. I knew at once it was going to be a sleepless night. I stayed in my bed and tried to chase the nightmares away, but they stayed. There were shadows dancing around my dark room, and my bed seemed to be shaking uncontrollably. I was terrified, so sure that there was something in my room that was going to get me. It wasn't until much later that I realized that it was my sobs that were shaking the bed. I was pouring tears.

I got out of bed with the blankets still tightly wrapped around me. I turned on a light, and searched the drawer with all my possessions. I found the plant book at once. I got back into my bed, opened it, and started to read through the pages. By now I have memorized most of them, but reading the book calmed me like nothing else did. Well, nothing else but Peeta. I kept on reading through the many pages until I saw sunlight came in through my window. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I was relieved that I survived another night of nightmares. It was an accomplishment to see the light in the morning without going completely crazy.

I got out of my bed and put the book in its place in the drawer. I picked up some of the other stuff, relishing in their memories. Eventually I went to go make myself hot chocolate. After I drank that, I went upstairs to take a shower. I was going over to Peeta's today. He began painting again, and I was going to watch and see some of the already finished projects.

I looked in the mirror after I was done with my shower. It has been about six months since I came back to District 12. My skin does not have any more blotches of pink. My hair has started growing again. All of Panem seems to be thriving better than ever. Paylor's republic was at its beginning stages, but it seemed like a good idea. She says she gets most of her ideas for government through history books, specifically about our ancestor country known as the United States. Paylor is having a representative voted on by each District. This representative will go to the Capitol twice a year. This Council of Representative will then each vote on decisions that need to be made, with President Paylor in charge. The representative will also double as the mayor in each District. I haven't met our new mayor yet, but supposedly I am supposed to meet him within the next week.

I dried myself off with the towel and continued to get dressed. Once I finally was dressed I walked downstairs. I wasn't surprised to see Peeta with those cheese rolls he knows I love. I don't know when he remembered this. I never told him since he has been hijacked. He just started making them for me all of a sudden. I took this as a good sign. He has been deciphering real versus not real all by himself more and more. We now barely ever played Real or Not Real.

He smiled at me as I came downstairs. "Morning," he said.

"Morning," I replied.

I went to the refrigerator and asked him, "What do you want to drink?"

"Nothing. I'm good for now."

I wasn't that thirsty either, so I sat back down at the table. We ate breakfast and talked. Finally we got up to go to Peeta's house. I was slightly nervous about seeing his paintings. The last time I saw them, I hated them all. They were all about the Games. They were beautiful but horrific. I wondered if he still painted the Games.

We walked up to his room, and what I found I was surprised to see. They were tons and tons of paintings. More than I could ever possibly count. They crowded his room, covering every open space there was. I quickly felt tears come to my eyes. They were portraits. Portraits of all those who were dead. There was Peeta's family, Prim, Finnick, Wiress, Rue and all of the tributes, Boggs and the rest of the Sharp Shooters, and everyone else. I gasped at the sight of them all. The paintings looked exactly as their subjects did in real life. My memories didn't do them justice. Their faces seemed to have faded in my mind.

"Do you like them?" I heard Peeta say behind me.

At first, I didn't answer him. I couldn't answer him. There were no words to describe all the feelings these paintings brought me. Finally I said, "They are perfect. Every single one of them is perfect." It was the truth.

"Let me show you one of my favorites," Peeta said. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me towards the back of the room. I smiled at the elated expression on his face. It made me feel good knowing that he found pleasure in me liking his pictures.

He stopped and picked up a painting that was lying on his dresser. It was smaller than all the others. He turned it around and I saw myself. I was holding the pearl he gave me, the one that I lost. It felt like I was looking into a mirror. The picture was so perfect. "Peeta…" I started to say, but I couldn't finish my thought. How did he remember every detail? How did he get my smiled so perfectly? I look around me and was overwhelmed by the perfection of it all.

"Peeta, I love them. I really do," I said, turning to look at him.

He replied, "Good. That's what I hoped you would say."

I went to sit on his bed while he pulled out the painting he was working on at the moment. I didn't talk, trying not to distract him, not that I believed me talking could break his gaze away from the picture. He seemed so immersed in his art, like nothing else was alive. That was going to be another thing I would add to the list of good for the day. Peeta and his art.

I wasn't sleeping entire days anymore. I wasn't having random outbursts or becoming depression at the littlest signs. It was the journal, I think really brought me back to life. At first the lists of bad was much larger than all the good. I was only looking for the bad. Though, as I continued, I started to notice how many good things a person does every day, like someone helping a child that fell or Peeta making me bread every morning. I only try to list the good things now. I don't want to focus on the bad.

I started to think about all the dead again. This time I wasn't sad, but worried. Worried about what would happen to them after I die. Worried about what would happen to those memories when the next generation comes, or the one after that. I was a bit ashamed. I was the one who vowed to remember them forever, but already my memories were fading. What would happen in five years? Ten? Fifty? There had to be a more substantial way to keep their memories alive, but what could I do?

I thought about the plant book I was reading this morning, and about Peeta's paintings. A book. Peeta could make a smaller picture of them all. The paintings would be just as perfect as a picture. I could write facts about them all, just like we did with the plant book. "Peeta?" I said, wanting his opinion about this idea. "What do you think about making a book about all the dead?"

He paused, mid-stroke and looked at me. He didn't say anything at first as he pondered this idea. Finally he opened his mouth and said, "I think that they would all really like that."

I knew he was referring to the dead. I decided that the next time I talk to Dr. Aurelius I would suggest the idea to him.

I lied down, thinking about all the things I wanted to include. I let my thoughts drift, as the sound of Peeta painting soothed me. I yawned and closed my eyes for a second. The next thing I know I was asleep. The nightmares then invaded. I was back in the 74th Hunger Games, on top of the Cornucopia. I could hear Cato's cries as he was being killed by the mutts. He screams of terror and of pain. The mutts growled with pleasure. I shuddered at the thought. I turned around trying to find Peeta, but he wasn't next to me like I thought. Then I realized something. The screams didn't sound like Cato's. No, I recognized those screams. I jumped off the top of the Cornucopia, forgetting all about my fear. I ran to the opening and saw a sight so awful, that I could even scream. Peeta was covered in blood, dying one of the most horrific deaths.

"Katniss!" he cried out to me, the pain and fear evident on his face. "Katniss! KATNISS!"

And then I was awake. I searched wildly around the room, looking for some sign of Peeta. I had to make sure he was okay. I found him right next to me. He looked worried, his hands on me. He must have shaken me awake when he noticed I was having a nightmare. There were no mutts, killing him. I felt the tears streaming down my face. Peeta sat down on the bed and sat me in his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, rocking me gently back and forth. "It wasn't real. It was just a dream," he whispered in my ear. I just continued crying into his shoulder. He was here with me, as safe as we can ever be, but that wasn't enough. I needed something more from him. Finally I managed to choke out a sentence. "Stay with me."

"Always," he replied.

With that word, a word that meant so much more than what it seemed, I felt happy. I needed him to be here with me. To keep the nightmares away. To keep me safe. Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without. I couldn't survive without him. He was everything I think I could ever want, and more. I felt that thing once again. The thing that I only felt twice before. I felt the something stir within me. I wanted to be closer to him, for him to hold me tighter. And at that moment, with me in his arms crying my eyes out, I figure out what that thing was. I was in love with Peeta Mellark.


So I am pretty proud of myself. I updated this chapter quickly. I was trying to post it last night, but I fell asleep:\ Anyways, I thought this chapter was really cute. I was thinking it was about time that Katniss admitted to herself that she felt something for Peeta.

Thank you to all who have been constantly posting your reviews! I really love hearing what you guys think about my story, so keep it up:)