Holy shit. Over a year since my last update. Really? REALLY REALLY? Procrastination is my name, but damn that was a long fucking nap. Anyway, thank you to all those who have read my story, added me as an alert, and favorited my story. You have no idea what this means to me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I've put a lot of work into it. And thanks to my beta NCR. YAY! I have a beta! Now, onto the story!


'Holy shit. It's been 15 minutes since we left the old man's, but it feels like it's been 15 months. I think the fucker hit me a little hard on the head last time.' Dante winced as his thoughts floated in his head in an odd fashion, feeling as though he wakened from a year long coma.

"You feel that too?" The blond said to Dante, his hands on his head as his mind swam through his head like jello. "Feels like God is playing with us, huh?"

"Trust me kid, there is no God. I learned that the hard way." Dante mumbled to himself.

"What?" Naruto said, looking questioningly at Dante

"Nothing. Just talking to myself. Anyway, I need to get this paperwork done. Not a citizen yet. Let's go back to the old man's place quick. I need to ask him about something."

"Alright." Turning around, the pair headed towards the tower which housed the Hokage's office. It was uneventful, as walking through a village rarely spawns random battles. Upon reaching the doors of the tower, one of the guards stopped them.

"Do I know you guys?"

Dante replied, "Yeah, we just left here. Now move, we need to talk to the old man."

"Feels like ages ago. Alright, go ahead." The guard said, nodding to both Dante and Naruto as they walked past. After making their way to the Hokage's office, they stopped outside the door in front of Dem and Kuma.

"... beers, beers. Rolling fatties, smoking blunts. Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts! Rolling blunts and smokin'..."

Dante looking at Dem oddly. "Lemme get a nickle bag."

"Fifteen bucks little man. Put that shit, in my hand, and if that money doesn't show, then you owe me, owe me, owe. Jungle love, yeah. Ohee ohee oh. I think I wanna know ya know ya, yeah, what?"

Dante slapped the man before pushing past him and into the Hokage's office.

"Thank you." The large ninja said as Dante walked past. "You stay out here."

"Nani?"

"I got this." Dante said over his shoulder. "Hey old man." He said to the Hokage after closing the door behind him.

"Ah, Dante, we were just talking about you." The Hokage indicated towards a large man with scars along his face and a black bandanna on his head.

"You bald?"

"Quite so." The large man held no surprise that Dante had not recognized him. The Hokage had told him so, but sometimes images can bring back memories one had once forgotten. That apparently had not been the case with this one. He stood up and held his large hand out to the man. "The name is Ibiki. I'm one of the Hokage's advisors."

"In what? Breaking backs? You could crush a man in one hand." Dante winced as he shook the man's hand. "Nice grip too."

"Something of that sort."

"Ibiki here facilitated your move into the hospital. After searching you for contraband of course."

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"I'm bored brother."

"I am as well."

"Then be bored silently."

"How about a song?"

"Oh god no. I wish Nevan were here."

"I'm over here." She sounded harshly muffled. "I'm on a shelf. Shelf! At least Dante had the decency to hang me up on a wall like a proper guitar should be."

"I know a song!"

"At least you don't have to listen to these two."

"I know. Have fun!"

"Urgh."

"99 urns of red orbs on the wall..."

"OH GOD NO!"

"99 urns of red orbs..."

"Make them stop!"

"Take one down, pass it around..."

"ARGH!!!"

"98 urns of red orbs on the wall!"

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"That's what I'm here about. I know I have to be a citizen before I can have my weapons back, but can I at least take one or two? See, I'm much more proficient with weapons than hand to hand, and if you really want me to tutor Naruto a bit, I'd like at least one back." Dante made eye contact with each as he spoke, trying to establish himself as trustworthy.

"How far along on the paperwork are you?" The Hokage asked him.

"Um... Haven't gotten started." Dante eyed the stack of papers in a folder in his hands.

"You know the saying, procrastination is like masturbation? In the end you're only,"

"Ahem. I, don't think the Hokage needs to finish that sentence, sir..." Ibiki interrupted. "It's not of your stature. Sir." Ibiki's eyes hinted that a more serious tone was in order.

"Lighten up Ibiki. If we must be serious all the time, then surely our jobs shall wear us down, shall they not?" The Hokage said to Ibiki lightheartedly. "Dante!" Dante was still taken aback by the Hokage's language. "You may have one AND I REPEAT ONE, weapon. I trust you not to be stupid about what you choose to do with it."

"Sir, is that really a smart decision?" His eyes spoke loudly enough. He didn't trust Dante to have a weapon after the interrogation incident.

"Think of it as a token of good faith. He seeks to be a citizen, therefore we must give him some trust." His language spoke volumes. We must take a chance to test his allegiance. We need someone of his skills. We must take the risk to win him over. "Dante. I expect those papers on my desk tomorrow morning. The clerks at the welcoming desk downstairs will be more than happy to help you."

"Right. Where are the weapons again?"

"Have Dem and Kuma guide you."

"Alright then. Nice talking to you guys."

"The feeling is mutual." Ibiki said as he stood to shake Dante's hand once more.

"I'd rather keep my hands. Sorry." Dante said over his shoulder as he walked away.

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"Will you revive, from the chaos in my mind, where we still are bound togerthAIAIAIAIAIAIAYYYRRR?!?!?!?! Will you be there, waiting by the Gates of GoOOOOhh shit." Dem nearly fell backwards as the door he was leaning on opened. "A little warning first?"

"Your singing sounds like two sadomasochistic cats fucking."

"At least you aren't his partner." Kuma said to Dante.

Naruto looked up, taking his hands of his ears. " Is he done?"

"Me or him?" Dante asked.

"Either works."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe you left me out here with them."

"Adult talk. Sorry shrimp."

"Nani!?"

"Anyway. Hokage's orders. You guys take me to get my weapons."

"Alright then. The vault's this way." Dem said as he began walking down the hall. Kuma started after him. Naruto walked up to him and poked his arm. "Is he always singing?"

"You should see him with his girlfriend Hana. She's the other cat in the duet."

"Ew."

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"1 urn of red orbs on the wall."

"1 urn of red orbs."

"Take one down, pass it around."

"Oh thank god."

"25873192 urns of red orbs on the waaaaaaaaaalllllllll."

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!!"

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"So what are we getting?" Naruto asked Dante after catching up with him.

"A weapon of mine. You wanna train? I'm gonna give you a training you'll never forget."

"Any hint as to what it is?"

"Of course not."

Naruto pouted. "Don't do that, you look childish." Dante said after seeing Naruto.

"What do you care?" Naruto shot back.

"You want my respect? Stop acting childish."

"Why would I want the respect of a freak like you?" Naruto barked back, sneering. Internally though, he did seek his respect. This was a man who was obviously strong, and probably the closest thing he had to a brother. 'Gah. What am I thinking? I've known him less than two days.' But he felt closer to him than any of his teammates. He trained with him, ate the same food, even matched him in eating. He was someone he looked up to, although he refused to admit it, even to himself. Looking up he saw that Dem and Kuma had stopped at a squat building in front of him.

"Alright kiddos, here we are. Don't rush either. We're off the clock in 5 minutes and I wanna get some dinner." Dem said as he opened the bolts keeping the door shut. Dante walked in and looked around until he spotted his rucksack laying about 10 feet away from him, amid piles of other bags and sacks. He opened it and pulled out Cerberus. "We're going for a walk boy."

"Oh thank god you're getting me out of here. Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum won't shut up."

"Sure thing. I'll be back for the rest of you tomorrow."

"24913209 urns of red orbs on the wallll...."

"I don't think they care. Be back soon hun!" Dante walked out, leaving the bag open. "Heh. I like your thinking pup." Outside Dem was looking at his watch, counting down the seconds until he was off work. "Does he always do that?" Dante asked Kuma.

"Generally, we both do. We're brawlers. Don't like guard duty too much. But what can you do? Hokage's orders."

"We're off! WOOO!!! Dango time!" Dem yelled as he jogged off towards the general direction of his favorite Dango stand.

"And you?" Naruto asked Kuma.

"I'm gonna go relax." He said, walking off towards a grass hill.

Dante looked at Naruto. Placing Cerberus in his holster on his back, started to walk back towards the Hokage's tower to get the clerks there to help him with the work. He wanted to get them done as soon as possible and it was only 3 in the afternoon. "I'm gonna go finish this paperwork. We can train afterwards. Go do some warm ups or find someone to spar with. I'll meet you at the same spot as last time in 3 hours. Or so." Naruto started to pout then stopped himself. 'I wonder what Lee is up to...' He thought to himself while walking to the Academy to look for him. He had a tendency to hang out in that general vicinity with his mentor, Guy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kuma reached his favorite spot, the top of the hill, and noticed that Shikamaru was there too. "Taking a break?" He asked the ninja.

"Yep. You?" He asked as Kuma sat down and laid back a couple feet away from him.

"Yep." He sat back up and moved a rock that was poking him in the back. Laying back down he shifted his weight around his back, flattening the grass and checking for more rocks. Satisfied that he was comfortable enough, he propped his left leg up and crossed his right leg across it, his hands on the back of his head. "Beautiful weather today."

"Yep." They both lay there, enjoying the feel of the breeze flow past them, bringing with it the calming rustle of the trees, the sweet smell of damp grass, flowers and apples from an orchard not too far away. The birds were out, and not too far away a pair in a tree were chirping rhythmically. The sunshine was warm on their faces, the grass cool on their backs, the clouds were thick enough to keep the sun from blinding them, but sparse and thin enough to allow more than enough light through. The sky was a light hue of blue, the grass and trees a healthy and bright shade of green, the apples a bright and juicy red, the poofy white clouds seemed like cotton floating in the air. They shifted and moved slowly and methodically, never twice being the same, yet beautiful always. Kuma sighed contently. Shikamaru merely took a deep breath. Kuma clicked open one of his hip pouches and pulled out a cigarette and a Zippo. Lighting it, he pulled out another and offered it to Shikamaru. He took it and the lighter and proceeded to light it. Kuma raised his eyebrow at this. He'd never seen the 15 year old take the offer before.

"My sensei does it all the time. Figured I'd see what's so special about it." He said as he flicked some of the ash off. "Little young aren't you?" Kuma asked as he flicked his. "You offered it. Besides, you're only a a year older than me." "Hrm." Was all the Chuunun said in reply. A few minutes later, they put out their cigarettes and heard a munching sound coming up the hill. "Hey Chouji." Shikamaru said, recognizing the sound of his teammate. "Thought I'd find you up here. Came to relax for a little bit." Kuma slid over a couple feet to make room for the other Genin to sit down. He sat down in between the two of them, a single bag of chips in his hand. Kuma moved the same rock from under his back as before. "Thought you'd bring more with you than that." Shikamaru said to his teammate. "Wanna keep the peace here." Chouji replied. Shikamaru noticed that he also was making less noise as he ate. "Never thought I'd see the day you can respect silence." "I have it in me. Just not a big fan of it." He replied. Kuma chuckled at the exchange, calm and relaxed, glad to be with a couple of people who could enjoy silence and serenity. 'I wonder what Dem's up to...' He wondered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"OOOOOOOH, WHAT IS THE MALTED LIQUOR," Dem vaulted over a fruit cart at full speed, "WHAT GETS US DRUNKER QUICKER," barrel rolled over a group of school children, "WHAT COMES IN BOTTLES OR IN CCCCCAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS," took a flying angled leap at a brick house, planted his hands and feet on the side, pushed up clearing 8 feet into the air and making it to the edge of the building, planted both hands on it and using momentum, flung himself onto the roof before raising his hands triumphantly into the air, "BEER!!!!!!!" Walking to the edge of the building he looked down at the chaos he had created. The owner of the fruit cart seemed a little peeved, but seeing as how none of his fruit were damaged he was more mad about the man scaring costumers than anything. The school children looked up at him in awe at his feat but the teacher and a group of women were fuming at him for putting them in danger. A couple of girls who saw him were chattering and giggling amongst themselves. 'Oh yeah, still got it.' He gave them a quick wave before dashing off onto the next house, clearing the 8 foot gap and 15 foot drop with ease, rolling at the end to distribute his momentum and allow him to continue running at full speed. 'Where's that Dango shop...?' He always forgot where things were. 'Dango dango dango dango dango HERE I COME!' He sped across the roof tops, jumping at the last second, flew over an empty street and landed a few feet in front of a bright red dango stand. Itamae started a couple plates of dango when he heard the infernal singing a few blocks away, and had them at Dem's favorite spot in the middle of the stand, right next to a kunoichi with a see through mesh shirt who was also eating dango. Dem walked in, sat at his favorite spot, grabbed a stick of Anko and yelled "ANKO!!!" At the top of his lungs. The kunoichi sitting next to him looked at him, and pointing her thumb at her chest, said "Anko?" Dem looked at her, then pointed to his dango, "Anko!" The woman held up her stick of dango and said, "Anko!" Dem pointed at her and asked, "Anko?" She nodded at him, put a thumbs up, and said "Anko!" Dem held his stick up and yelled "Ankoooooo!" And the woman joined him "Ankooo!" They both then voraciously began eating their meal, Anko washing her anko down with sake while Dem washed his anko down with more anko. Itamae had become accustomed to Dem's version of itadakimasu, but never had to sit through so much shouting of the word anko. It was floating around in his head. ' Anko anko anko anko anko... Dammit.' Dem's thought's were the same. 'Anko dango anko dango anko dango dango dango anko anko. DANKO!' Anko finished her plate and paid the man. Walking out she tapped Dem on the shoulder. "Nice meeting you. Same time tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. I'm always up for some dango." He said looking over his shoulder.

"Alright. See ya around." She said walking off twirling a kunai on her finger.

"You dog you." The chef said to Dem.

Dem looked at him oddly. "What? We both like dango. Besides, I have a girlfriend already. She's a little too old for me anyway."

"NANI!?!?!?" 'Ow' Was all Dem thought before his world went black.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Where the hell are the two jumpsuit freaks?" Naruto was growing impatient as he walked around looking the academy. He walked to their training spot and found no one. He walked to the gates, hoping the guards had perhaps seen them racing around the outer wall of the village, but they had seen nothing. Giving up he decided to head to the training spot they agreed on when he remembered that the others were there. 'Better head back to the Hokage's Tower and let Dante know we need somewhere else to train.' Walking towards the Hokage's Tower his head began to swim. 'Whoa... I feel lightheaded.' As Naruto walked down the street, he looked towards a food stand. Inside he saw a turtle with a windmill on his back. 'Why does that seem so familiar?' Walking towards the stand, the turtle looked at him and said, " What'dya starin' at boiah?" Naruto freaked at the sound of the turtle's voice and started walking down the street again, only much faster, and straight legged. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he could have sworn he felt someone following him. A block down the street he passed a restaurant and the customers all looked at him. They seemed perfectly normal. Except they all had fish heads. Naruto began to sprint down the street, feeling the grips of panic looming on the edge of his mind. He began to hear chanting. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go." Looking to his right, he saw a 40 foot pea plant looming over the city. Behind one of the leaves, a pea pod stretched vertically out of the branch and the tip of it was split open. Marching out of it was an endless supply of midgets with bloody sledgehammers, axes, and baseball bats on their shoulders. Their eyes shone a blood red and their beards all dripped black with pitch and tar that oozed endlessly from their mouths. Walking to the edge of the leaf, rather than fall off, they merely began to walk along it upside down in the exact opposite direction until they reached the base of the pea pod. There a hole the same size as the one they emerged from sat in the branch, only this one was lined with teeth. Each time one entered, the hole slammed shut and blood gushed from between the teeth as another dwarf popped out of the hole in the pod. Naruto was terrified. He starting sprinting down the street, only it was no longer a street; the dirt that lined the path was now grass and the houses and buildings that had ran along the path were now giant mushrooms. The people had turned to caterpillars and cats, and the sky was an ever melding amalgam of shapes and colors ranging from purple trapezoids, blue squares, and at times the whole thing was blobs of random colors that he saw, and felt at the same time.

He burst into the only real building left in the world, The Hokage's Tower.

"Dante! Help! The world! The bugs! The midgets and mushrooms and cats, oh my!" Dante lifted his eyebrow at Naruto. Looking outside he saw everything as it should have been. "You sure you haven't been eating any mushrooms?" Looking outside, Naruto saw that all had returned to normal.

"But... I saw the mushrooms. And the singing midgets. And..." He was cut off by the sound of his growling stomach.

"When's the last time you ate?" Dante asked while eying the blonde's stomach.

"Yesterday. That ramen we had." Dante laughed.

"Well, shit. You need to eat. Come on. Let's go get some grub. I'm done with this paperwork." Dante said as he ruffled the blonde's hair and walked past him. "That ramen place isn't too far away, right?"

Naruto nodded and led him to the stand, all the while keeping look out for anything suspicious and constantly looking over his shoulder for that presence that seemed to be following him still. Upon arriving they both sat down. "I'll have a beef ramen," Dante told the owner, "And a miso with those little fish roll things for the short one." Naruto was so preoccupied looking over his shoulder that he didn't catch Dante's insult. The feeling of being followed had passed. Naruto let his breath out with a sigh.

"Here ya go." The owner said as he set Naruto's bowl down. Naruto looked into it and saw a fish head. He began to panic. "Uh... Dante? It's a fish..." Dante looked up from his bowl, his fork inches from his lips. He hadn't gotten the hang of chopsticks as easily as he had the language.

"And? Take it out if it bothers you. It's just a head. Not like it's alive."

"I guess you have a point," Naruto said dejectedly. He moved to pick out the fish head until he saw it move. 'Am I imagining it? I have to be...' Then the fish winked at him. The blonde went pale and passed out.

"Uh... Naruto?" Dante said to the ninja, barely looking at the ninja, never even taking his elbows off the counter. "You ok?"


M.P.: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I am done! If you like it, please review. If you don't, then review and tell me why. Or just shoot me a message either way if you don't want to review. Just gimme some feedback people cuz this thing is ALIVE! Oh yeah, give it up for my friend NCR. She hasn't registered here, so she has no pen name, but she's the official beta for this story. YAY!

Beta's message: Hiya! It was quite an honor and a surprise to be asked to be beta for this amazing story, so I must thank M.P. for choosing me! I apologize if I missed any mistakes in spelling or grammar.

- NCR