Merry-Go-Round
April 28th, 2013
Is it wrong to love your own stories this much?
I was just re-reading chapter 6, and I was like, 'Damn, this is good... ... ... Oh yeah, this is my story. Whoops.' I kept on forgetting that I was the author, and I even started thinking of what to write in my review when I'd finally get on the computer later, only to remember that, 'Oh yeah, this is my story. Right.' XD That would've been kind of funny though if I sent a review to myself!
May 10th, 2013
LOL, it would seem I just wrote that A/N and left without writing any of the chapter. XD Weird. That's the second time I've done that now.
Ugh, I officially hate it when people die.
There was a kid who used to go to my school two years ago, before I got there, who left to get treatment for his freshly-discovered cancer. Apparently, he died two days ago.
I didn't know what was going on. I got to school and one of my friends was crying. "What's going on?" I asked. "*sniff* I can't believe he died...!" I thought she was talking about her cat. I had her in my arms, patting her back, saying 'There, there'. Another of my friends was crying right in front of me, which I found strange, since I didn't think she really knew the cat.
I asked Austin what was wrong with Alyse and he told me some kid with cancer died that morning. "Eh? Okay... A lot of kids with cancer die each morning. Are you saying they're going to cry like this everyday now?" He explained that the kid used to go to our school, blah blah blah. ... Okay...? So basically, nobody really cared or talked to this kid (from my friends, at least), and then suddenly he gets cancer and he becomes super special. Everyone started claiming they were 'best friends' and that they were 'so sad'. Now that he's dead, everyone's got it done threefold. Everyone was sobbing everywhere, and I thought, 'You don't even know the kid!' "But it's sad! He was only twelve years old...!" "Twelve-year-olds die everyday." "But doesn't that make you sad?" "Not really; I don't even know the kid."
So, basically, for three days, I was called heartless, insensitive, etc. And maybe I am. If it were someone I loved, though, things would be completely different! But I don't even know this kid, and his death changes nothing in my life. It may be selfish of me to think like that, but he's just another nameless person. His death makes me no difference. Does that really make me retarded, like my classmates say I am? I think not. So, I've had a pretty pissy week. It was so annoying, seeing everyone cry everywhere I looked. Thank goodness it's the weekend now.
Sigh... Maybe I am heartless. Honestly, if I am, I don't mind that too much. I'd rather be heartless than be a sniffling puffy-eyed crybaby all the time, pretending I'm 'so sincere' by offering tears for some nameless kid. I'd rather appear insensitive than appear weak. I'd rather be impenetrable rather than constantly hurt. Is that so wrong?
Oh well. I don't care what they think, really. They can call me retarded all they want and I'll still know I'm smarter than all of them. (They can't even recite their multiplication tables and wouldn't pass math without their calculators. One kid can't even spell simple words like 'rush', 'you're', or even 'dog'. I mean, really? Who is stupid enough to think dog is spelt d-a-w-g?!) I just hope nobody else dies next week.
Okay, enough of my ranting. Read, children, read what has been written for you!
Anonymous Reviews
AliasStars: LOL, I must have been really caught up in the moment, because when I wrote that I didn't find it funny at all. Now that you mention it, though… it is pretty hysterical. XD Everyone seems to love Nem. *shrug* Personally, I'm not sure what exactly I did, but I certainly won't complain! *winks* Oh boy, I love that! XD Don't worry, chapter 8 should have a good deal of fluff. ^^ Why do you say hell would freeze over if Rin voiced her thoughts? Did she predict the Toronto Maple Leafs would win the Stanley Cup? (Canadian joke, hahaha… I've just proved a Canadian stereotype. o_o) YES! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU AS WELL!
AyumiK-San: Wow, for a second I thought I accidentally reviewed my own story… Your pen name sounds a lot like one of my other accounts'! owo Yes, as this is a Rin x Len story, it will eventually end as Rin x Len. *spoiler alert?* I'm sorry this story was such a disappointment to you, but at least you were honest.
ILoveFanfiction-AnimeAdik: LOL, I'm glad you liked it! XD Hm, well, knowing Miku's hair, maybe a knife WOULD be better... LOL, they weren't IN the restroom, just BY the restroom… And here at our mall, there are people just randomly making out everywhere. XD I never noticed she left her shirts behind, but everyone else keeps pointing it out… *shrug* LOL, you're ENCOURAGING Rin to commit suicide?! XD LOL, not yet… maybe in twenty chapters or so.
Chapter 7 - Picking Up a Pencil
Oh boy. What am I to do...?
As soon as I'd gotten home, I'd rushed upstairs and locked the door. I ended up falling asleep, too, an escape from my bitter angst. But now... Now I was awake. It was Thursday morning and I'd be forced to go downstairs to get ready for school, forced to see my beautiful brother. He'd want an explanation, but what could I tell him? That I'd seen a hairy spider and it'd scared me enough to run away? That some creepy man was stepping out of the bathroom just then and I'd ran to avoid becoming a rape victim? Ha, funny, but not suitable.
I couldn't answer him and so I wouldn't. I wouldn't tell him what had scared me off, and if he truly cared, he'd figure it out on his own.
Already I was dressed in my uniform- now I lay on my bed, dreading the thought of going downstairs. Maybe I'd take the morning off sick. That could work. Oh, but then Len might insist on staying with me, and that would completely defy the purpose. I'd just say my throat hurt and that I didn't feel like talking. Yeah, that's it.
Taking in a deep breath, I opened my door and stepped out. Already my stomach was coiling into knots but I knew that if I returned to the safe haven of my room, I'd probably never again come out. It wasn't that big of a deal! Gee... I've always been a drama queen.
Quickly I ran down the stairs then poked my head out by the corner, peeking into the kitchen. There he was, buttering his toast with a concerned look on his face. Could it be he was worrying for me? Oh, how I hoped so! As if he'd read my thoughts, he suddenly looked up. Our eyes met and his face immediately brightened. "Rin! You're up!"
Caught now, I had no choice but to sit down in the seat across from his. He noticed the hesitation on my face, I think, and his face automatically went back to that worried expression. "Hey, are you feeling alright?"
I nodded, deciding to avoid his gaze.
"Are you sure?" I said nothing. His eyebrows furrowed further. "I was worried maybe you got sick yesterday. I knocked at your door but you wouldn't answer me." He let out a nervous laugh. "You had me real worried!"
I couldn't help but stare at him incredulously. "Are you stupid?" I asked bitterly. Oh no, oh no! No, no, I hadn't meant to say that!
He winced and studied my expression. "You weren't sick?" I rolled my eyes but didn't answer. That idiot! Was it so hard to be smart for once?! "Can you please tell me what happened?"
I shot him a look. "Maybe if you'd look at something other than your precious Miku-chan for once, you'd notice things! My god, you wonder why I left. You're so dense, Len!" That felt good, actually. I'd have to begin writing rants to or about him in my precious diary. It felt so good to release some anger!
He blinked in surprise. "I... I don't understand."
"Of course you don't!" I yelled out, exasperated. "Mr Oblivious gets an A plus on that subject!"
His jaw worked and his eyes narrowed. "Just tell me why you ran off. Then I won't have to be 'Mr Oblivious'."
I hesitated, debating on whether or not to tell him the truth. I had to know what he thought! "Why'd you kiss Miku yesterday?" There it was. I'd done it! I'd asked and now he'd answer.
"Well... why shouldn't I? I mean..." He blushed. "She is my girlfriend now." Ah! How could he have said something like that so simply?! I closed my eyes and tried calming myself. It wasn't his fault.
"But doesn't it gross you out to be trading spit with her?" I insisted.
He wrinkled his nose. "Is that how you see it? I've never thought of it that way. Then again, you don't really have anyone yet."
Ha! Hahaha... If only you knew, Len, you'd have found that funny too. "How do you know I haven't anyone yet?" I tested.
He sent me a sarcastic 'you-can't-fool-me' smile. "I haven't seen you with anyone at all."
"You're not with me all the time."
He paused a moment, studying my expression while I glared defiantly. "If you were really with someone, you wouldn't be trying so hard to convince me," he finally decided and nodded, as though he'd just convinced himself as well.
"I'm not trying to convince you," I snapped. "I just don't like being called a liar." What exactly was I saying? I wasn't dating anyone. I shouldn't lie! "And besides, I never actually said we're dating. I just like him, that's all."
"Who is it?" Not a single note of jealousy was in his voice. It hurt, yes, but it was expected by now. He had yet to see me in such a way.
"I'm not telling you." Meanwhile I was trying to think of someone worthy enough to name. "If you're going to occupy yourself with Miku all the time and totally ignore me, I'll just go and do the same thing! So there!" Oh no! What was I getting myself into?!
His eyes softened. "Am I really ignoring you?" he asked, sounding slightly hurt. I considered my answer and chose to nod, making him wince. "I'm so sorry, Rin... I don't mean to, I swear! It's just... I'm sorry." He thought for a moment. "How about this weekend, you and I go someplace together?"
My mood brightened. "Without Miku?"
"If that's what you want." He grinned at me. "I don't mind devoting a day to my favorite sister!"
'Sister'... Well, at least he loved me that much. "Good. I'd like that." No, wait- use this! I squeezed my eyes together and forced them to go watery. "I was worried you wouldn't care about me anymore," I sniffled, adding in a hiccup. "Do you?"
He seemed to panic for a moment. "O-Of course I do! What on earth are you saying?! Nothing in the world could turn me against my sister!" Hahaha... How funny. He squeezed me to him in such a way, it made me smile. For that moment, it made me feel better.
Some famous artists have named 'periods' in their life- such as the blue period, the romantic period, the gold period, et cetera. I may not be nearly as skilled as those painters, but I suppose I could still call this my 'hopeful period'. It was during this time that I felt like a cheerful little girl holding a big red balloon.
Pretty and colorful, this balloon seemed to hold promises and dreams- only whenever that little girl would try to jump up and touch it, the balloon would float upwards just enough to be out of her reach. And then... in trying to jump too high, determined to have my fingers at least graze the shiny red, I accidentally let go of that balloon. It floated up, up, and out of my sight, never to be seen again. That's when the clouds grew stormy and the thunder began to rumble, warning of acid-coated rain and nightmare-filled sleep. A shame I hadn't brought an umbrella.
"I love you Len," I murmured softly, but he didn't seem to hear me. Or maybe he only pretended not to.
I sighed as I read through the list a fifth time. Because I feared his threat about the student council would prove to be true, I took Papa's advice seriously and began searching for some kind of school club to join. If Mizki had been there that morning, I could have asked her, but she and Yuuma were visiting her parents. I felt bad for Yuuma.
A light breeze passed through and I took in a deep breath. It was rather warm still for October, but I wasn't complaining. My special tree that I leaned against now offered me a wide spread of shade and most of its leaves were still green, making it far prettier than those around it with their dying brown stems. The grass too was rather green still and it made me wonder if the rumors about the grass being fake were true. (Why there were rumors about grass, I will never know.)
"What are you looking at?"
I glanced up. I hadn't even heard Gumi approach me. "Aren't you eating?" I asked her.
She snorted. "Hypocrite; you aren't eating either." In response I grabbed my sandwich from my lunchbox and took a big bite out of it, chewing on it dramatically. She rolled her eyes and said, "I already ate, so I was just going to wander around for the rest of our lunch period. Then I saw you here and thought you might be fun to annoy."
"Hm." I looked her up and down. "I have to join a school club, but they all sound completely lame."
"Do they?" She sat down in the grass. "Why do you 'have to' join a club?"
"My dad is worried for me."
She was silent for a few moments. "I've never seen your dad."
That made me laugh. "I've never seen yours either, you know. What, do you make it a job of yours to know every kid's parents?"
"My sister brings me along for parent-teacher conferences so I usually meet slash entertain most of the parents." Sister? Why, didn't her mother go along with her? "I've never seen yours, though."
"My mother doesn't like having to wait," I explained bitterly. "She organizes a private meeting, usually the next day or something."
"Hm." Gumi thought for a moment and then seemed to drop the topic. "So, school clubs, you said? What have you got your eye on so far?"
"I can't believe our school has a pro-life club." I shook my head. "What the hell do they even do there? Pray to their god to ban all abortion? Why do they even want to bother messing up other people's lives?"
"I'm going to guess you're pro-choice."
I shrugged, trying to show I didn't care much for the issue in general. "And then this too, 'Run Club'... Why can't you just run on your own? Len is in that, but I never understood what good it does him. If you want to run, run around your neighbourhood block. You don't need a club for that."
Gumi said nothing this time and I wondered at the time if perhaps she was in the run club and had gotten offended. No, I found out later, she wasn't. She belonged to only two clubs, neither anything athletic. I never did find out if she agreed with me on my point.
"Then what is this- The Green Team Squad?! What, some kind of pro-environment group?" Gumi nodded. "That's so dumb. It's not like they're actually going to be able to do something useful! I'll bet," I wagged my finger at the other girl, "that at least half of the members from The Green Team are also members of the pro-life cub. I wouldn't be surprised at all, actually! As long as Len doesn't join something like that..." I shivered. "If he does, they'll have hell to pay, courtesy of me!
Her eyes gleamed at the mention of Len. "Is that so?"
I didn't like her mischievous expression. "How come you're talking to me now after totally ignoring me yesterday?" I asked. It had been bothering me since she'd walked over.
"You didn't seem to be in a very good mood yesterday. You seemed... overly stressed." She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "I don't really like being burdened with someone else's troubles unless it's someone extremely important." A half-smile grazed her face. "You're not quite there yet, Rin."
The way she said my name gave me shivers. She'd rolled the 'r' slightly, giving my name a different sound completely. I didn't know whether I liked it or not. "Way to be blunt," I mumbled.
"I believe honesty is the best policy." She hardened her eyes then and stared at me, as if she knew I had a secret. It made me feel uncomfortable and threatened, even if she hadn't said 'or else'.
"Are you... implying something?" I asked in a monotone. To be honest, I was a little nervous. Even then Gumi seemed slightly different to me, different than normal people somehow.
She smiled, though it somewhat resembled a smirk. "No, not at all. Don't worry so much." Even so, her eyes seemed knowing.
I still think Gumi would make a fantastic therapist. She has a way of studying you without your noticing and picking up on the tiniest details most would usually miss. Sometimes I wonder if maybe she knew more about me than I knew about myself. After all, it often seems I don't know anyone at all.
"So, you want to join a club because your dad is worried for you, is that right?" She cocked her head, her turquoise eyes gleaming in amusement. "I have to wonder, do you really still care what they think?"
I felt slightly offended. "What do you mean?"
She stretched back on the grass. "I mean, everyone's parents are worried for their kids." She paused and added, "Well, most." She added another unnecessary pause and I wondered if that last note had wounded her somehow. "But most people our age have stopped caring by now. I wonder, why do you still care about your parents' concerns?"
"My dad threatened to put me on the student council," I spouted defensively. Never would I understand why it was so important to always deflect such things. I could have just shrugged and she'd've left me alone; why did I feel it so necessary to defend myself?
"Is that so?" Her eyes twinkled. "Well then, I suppose you must join something then." She didn't even ask how my father would convince the school to let me join the council. Perhaps she already knew. "You may not care, but I'm in the art club."
"The art club?" I wrinkled my nose.
"That along with something else, but you seem like you'd prefer art." I wondered what that something else was but never asked. "The meet's tonight, so you should come with me." Her smile stretched. "It'll be fun." I cringed, which made her laugh. "What's with the face?"
"It just doesn't sound very appealing to me," I replied. "I mean, all that really happens is... Well, you all just sit somewhere and doodle and tell each other how awesome you are, don't you?"
She gave me a look. "No, not really."
Yeah, probably. I rolled my eyes then nibbled on my lower lip. "Besides... I'm no good."
"Don't worry, Megurine's great at this stuff!" She winked at me and I think my face might have pinkened. "I'll wait for you by the washrooms downstairs, alright?" She didn't even wait for my refusal. In fact, she practically ran from me, forcing me to accept her promise.
Well... whatever. An hour wasted wouldn't make very much difference; I had years and years still of life to waste.
She was late.
I couldn't believe it. She'd promised me she'd be waiting here for me and then she didn't bother showing up. I sighed and glanced down at my iPhone. I'd been waiting seven minutes now for her. By ten, I'd leave. And to think I hadn't even wanted to be here! Ugh!
I leaned back against the white brick wall, sighing again. Had she only been teasing me to see if I'd show up? I'd remember not to mention anything to her tomorrow, just in case, or else she'd know I'd fallen for her taunting. She'd tease me, mock me, laugh and laugh, and I wouldn't be able to stand it. No, I wouldn't complain. Not for some stupid trick.
I grit my teeth and pulled up my bag. Len probably had another sports practice or something today. He always had one. I'd walk home or better yet, I'd call Nem to pick me up. I'd find a new club tomorrow to join. Today I'd spend lounging in front of the TV as always like the lazy ass I am... Haha.
I began to walk away when suddenly I heard my name. "Rin! Wait!" Gumi sprinted down the hall, her hand outstretched. I stopped and watched her until she was in front of me, bent over panting. "Sorry I'm late- my homeroom teacher kept me back to discuss my studying habits." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Come on! Follow me."
The art room wasn't all that big, really. People sat on the floor, at desks, in chairs, drawing in sketchbooks, painting on easels, coloring in chalk. A tall woman - the teacher, I'd imagine - patrolled around the room glancing and whispering to students about their creations.
"Do you have a sketchbook?" Gumi asked and I nodded. She seemed surprised and that gleam returned. "Hm. Alright. I'll get you some pencils. Sit wherever you want."
I glanced around the room and cringed again to prove to anyone who might have been watching that I didn't want to be here. No one noticed. Gumi had told me to sit anywhere I wanted to, but... there were random students every few feet. I didn't want to be close to anyone. Was I allowed to sit in the hallway instead?
"Do you draw standing, or something?" Gumi asked sarcastically. "Come on, Miss Stiff." She walked over to a row of cabinets and sat down against them, beside a girl with pinkish hair. Reluctantly I followed, eyeing the other girl warily. "This is Iroha," Gumi introduced. "Iroha, this is Rin."
Iroha stared at me with a raised brow and an unimpressed expression. I'd only just met her and I decided I didn't like her. She seemed rather stuck up. "Can you even draw stickmen?" she asked, quite rudely if I may say so.
"Can you?" I asked. She narrowed and rolled her eyes. "There's an expression for that, you know; If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. (1)"
Iroha threw a hateful glance my way and Gumi burst out laughing. I thought Iroha looked surprised at that and eventually she smiled too. "That's rather nice. I like that. I'll have to borrow that quote from you." She returned to her drawing, though I couldn't really see what it was.
"Isn't she a sweetheart?" Gumi asked, grinning. She earned a glare from Iroha but didn't seem to mind. She pulled her sketchpad from her bag and flipped to a blank page then opened the container of pencils she'd brought over. "These are wood pencils instead of lead, but they'll be alright. My lead pencils are at home."
Lead pencils? Weren't all pencils made of lead? I picked one up. A silver '2B' was written near the end tip and there was no eraser. What did '2B' stand for? 'Two Black'? I was afraid if I'd ask, I'd seem stupid, so I kept my mouth shut. I began instead looking through my own sketchpad.
Yes, I brought my sketchpad to school with me, but I rarely used it. ... Maybe once per week, I'd draw something. It was a fifty-paged book, but I'd probably only used eight of them. Most were of the same thing, too; girls that possessed features I wanted, looks I envied. Except... they looked very different in my head than they did on paper. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with them.
I flipped to a fresh page and tapped the pencil against my lip. Hmm... What to draw? Suddenly an image flashed in my head, a girl staring out a window. It'd look pretty. Yes, it would.
I tried to draw a square in the center of my page. Yes, that was more or less a square. Next, a house. I only needed to draw the bottom and the corner, but somehow, it looked rather small... Oh well.
I drew an oval in the square, pointing the bottom out very sharply to make a chin. An elbow supported itself on the window sill and the hand - which resembled some strange polygon - rested on the girl's cheek, though I found the arm looked awfully short and pudgy.
I'd watched Pokemon once in a while when I was little and knew they had only lines for noses so I tried for that too. Then I made a downwardly curved line under it to make a mouth. An upwardly curved line diagonal from the nose made the eyelid and I tried to make a circle for the eyeball. It looked kind of oval but no one would really notice. Finally I drew the pupil on the right inside edge of the circle/oval- after all, she was looking right. Wouldn't it be her pupil moving? (2)
"What are you scribbling there?" Gumi asked.
"Hair." Duh. What did it look like?
"That's hair?"
I shot her a look. "Shut up. I told you I'm not good at this stuff!"
She raised a brow and looked down at my drawing again, then sighed. "It's not bad, I guess." I caught Iroha glance over and smile as if she found that comical.
"Does it really suck that much?" I asked, a little disappointed.
"No, not at all!" Her turquoise eyes widened in slight panic, which surprised me. Why was she so afraid to offend me? "I was just teasing you! It's good, really!" I ignored the snort that came from Iroha.
"Can I see?" I jumped back, having not noticed the lavender-haired girl approach me. Before I could say anything she was glancing over my shoulder at my drawing and her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Wow, that's so good! That's amazing!"
I knew it. That's all I could have expected from some stupid art club. 'You all just sit somewhere and doodle and tell each other how awesome you are, don't you?' Haha! Look how right I turned out to be!
"Thanks," I said, sending a smirk Gumi's way. She seemed to remember my prediction and rolled her eyes and shook her head.
The girl grinned at me. "My name's Yukari. You should totally teach me, okay?" I heard Iroha snort even louder this time.
"Sure." I wouldn't, but she'd realize that. She probably hadn't even meant it.
"Oh? Is this a new face I see?" We both glanced upwards. The teacher stood before us, arms crossed under her ample breasts. Her pink hair was tied back in a ponytail and her bright blue eyes shone behind dark-framed glasses. She wore a basic white and blue pinstriped button-down and a knee-length jean skirt over black tights. She was a very pretty and young-looking teacher.
"Miss Megurine, this is Rin," Gumi introduced. "She may or may not become our newest club member, so do greet her kindly."
"I've always told you so, but the way you speak is so funny," the teacher said with a smile. "Let's have a look, shall we?"
I handed my sketchpad to her and she began to examine it. After about a minute had passed I grew impatient. "Alright, just tell me how amazing it is and hand it back, please." I'd meant it as a joke but obviously Miss Megurine didn't see it as so.
Her eyes narrowed and took on a cool look. "That left arm is about a quarter the size it should be. Your window sill and the bottom of the house should be parallel, and the window isn't on the right angle. The girl's head is deformed as are her facial features. It seems you were trying for a manga style, yet your eyes have no shine in them at all. That hair is just scribbling and looks messy, and that hand is nothing more than an odd shape. Speaking of which, your thumb is also on the wrong side. You drew the right hand on the left arm instead of the other way around." She glanced down at my picture again. "I suppose that's enough criticism for now. Try fixing some of the things I mentioned and I'll look at it again."
Iroha chuckled. "What was it you said earlier again? 'If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones'? I've got another one for you: 'If you've got no car, why open the garage'?" I knew what she was saying- If you've got no talent, why bother trying? Ha! Well, I'd show her. I'd prove to her I had some sort of car- a smart car, maybe, but some form of vehicle to open that damn garage for. ... An odd expression that was.
I'd use what Miss Megurine told me to improve my drawing, since she seemed to have at least an idea on what she was doing. Except... what exactly had she told me again...? Oh, my thumb was on the wrong side. Right; I'd start with that.
Meanwhile as I began erasing, Gumi watched me with interest. I hadn't bothered looking at her own picture, but if I had, I would have found a girl drawing furiously. The girl's tongue stuck out in the side of her mouth and her eyes displayed immense concentration and determination. Her short blonde hair was rather average but it was the big white bow on her head that gave it away.
Gumi Megpoid was a much better artist than I, that much was for sure.
I dropped my bag on the floor beside my shoes and hummed a tune as I stretched. Despite what had happened earlier this week, today hadn't been so bad. I'd go back to the art room again next week to show Megurine that drawing and prove to Iroha that I did have a damn car.
"Rin?" Hm? Len stood there in the living room with a worried expression on his face. "I thought I'd skip soccer practice today to see you and when I get here, you're not even home," he says. "Where've you been?"
He... skipped practice... for me? Just to spend time with me? I vowed to kill Gumi the next time I saw her. The one time I wasn't home was the day Len decided he would be! Really?! "Daddy wants me to join a club, remember? I was just looking around."
He seemed relieved. Had he expected me to tell him I'd joined a gang or something? "Alright. That's good." He nodded. "You should tell him you found something."
"I never said I did. I said I looked around." He shrugged. He didn't really care so much as long as I was safe.
I think he realized what it seemed like because he suddenly stiffened. "Um... What kind of club are you looking into joining?" he asked, the slightest strain in his voice.
"You don't have to ask if you don't want to," I answered a little sharply. Geez, it wasn't like I'd attempted suicide, or something; he needn't try so hard! Haha... Hahahaha!
"I do want to know!" He added a warm smile to reassure me and sat down on the head of the couch behind him. "You're my twin sister. Of course I'd want to know what you're getting yourself into!"
'Getting yourself into'? That was an interesting way to put it, and somewhat accurate in some ways. "I visited the art club. That's all."
"The art club?" His brow rose. "I didn't know you like drawing."
I softly mumbled, "There are a lot of things you don't know." I wonder if he heard me?
He stared at me in a funny way then, simply studying my face in a way that reminded me of Gumi, but so much more sincere. If I had to pinpoint the moment he maybe began to pick up on my depression, I suppose it would be then. I think in those few moments he examined me, he maybe picked up on the red around my eyes from how often I cried, or maybe he saw the shadows within me slowly eating away at my organs.
And to think, at the time, it still wasn't even completely obvious.
He said nothing at all and just smiled at me. "America's Funniest Videos was on, so I recorded it on the PVR. Wanna join me?"
I tilted my head and nodded.
I wish I could be as light-hearted as you, Len. I'm sorry I ruined that part of you.
May 18th, 2013; 12:09 AM
Bleh... I'm tired. :P As usual.
Guess what guys? In nine days, it'll be my birthday! That's right- May 27th is my birthday, so I'd better get a hell-load of birthday cards from you guys now. :3 If not... ThErE wIlL bE oNe MoRe AnGeL iN hEaVeN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! XD LOL, don't be too scared now...
Anyway, for my birthday, not only am I getting my very own laptop (so shiny...!), but I may also be getting my very own Vocaloid! Yes, I'm saying my Daddy may buy me my very own V3 Avanna. o.o OH MY GOODNESS. So awesome. I'm super excited!
I hope he gets me Pokemon Black 2. That would be great, since I lost Pokemon Diamond. OTL (I have the worst luck in FFN. I'll say it once and I'll say it again.)
I don't really have much to say. It's currently Victoria Day Weekend. (You know, us Canadians still worship the British Queen Victoria n' all, so... we get a holiday. Yay!) Next I'll update DitC (Ch.11) because I haven't in... about six months. ... Wait, what?! No, wait, cross that, that's not right! I haven't updated in... aha! It says March 27th, so I haven't updated in almost two whole months. There we go! So that's next~!
Song of the Chapter: Kimi wa Dekinai ko (You are a Useless Child); by Kikuo-P feat. Miku
It's a slightly disturbing yet extremely catchy song by one of Remi-chan's favorite producers~! Yes, she showed it to me, and without her, I would never have listened to it. It's good! LISTEN TO IT, NOW!
Question of the Chapter: How do you feel so far about Gumi?
Question of the Chapter 2: Everything happens for a reason, so you know my having Rin pretend she has a crush wasn't an accident. What do you think I'll have happen? ^^ And don't just say 'she'll try to make Len jealous'. I want some real specific stuff! Because trust me... it's gonna be good. ;)
(1) A quote from my science teacher. ^^ His hobby seems to be teasing his students, so he's always throwing insults at them- with a smile, of course. It's very entertaining. Once, he implied some kid in my class was dumb (which we all knew was just a joke- he was talking to a straight-A student), and a boy named Nathaniel (who is super annoying, by the way) said something along the lines of "Yeah Cal, everyone here is so much smarter than yoooooou!" Mr. Giunta was quick to add, "Except for Nathaniel!" We all laughed and Nathaniel started going on about how, "Mr. Giunta, that wasn't very nice~!" Mr. Giunta smirked and said, "If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones." What it means is, if you don't have something, don't pretend you do, and that you're better than anyone else. In this case, if you don't have brains, don't bother insulting anyone who does. I thought it was funny and quite wise, so I wrote it down in my quotes/ideas notebook. :D
(2) Hnnngh. Okay, for anybody who hasn't realized, that drawing Rin did was based off my terrible drawing skills about two years ago. (It was worse than it is now, yes. Alright fine, I'm not THAT bad. Maybe I'll draw some fan art, LOL.) That last thing was something I did too often- when I wanted to draw a person looking in a certain direction, I'd always draw the pupil - the black part of the eye - along the rim of the ball. NO. Just NOOOO. If you want to make someone look in a certain direction, it's the eye SHINE you need to move. Say you want someone looking to the left; you draw the pupil in the middle and draw a white circle on the left rim. PUPILS ALWAYS STAY IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EYEBALL! (This was me trying to save the world of art, LOL.)
Review, or... I will steal your cookies. And you do NOT want me to steal your cookies!
