Changes

The holiday began and Regulus met Bellatrix at the Christmas Eve. He looked at her, admired her. Her long black Black hair and elegant features, deep dark gray eyes – and the look in them. It was burning, hot, killing fire, dangerous, uncontrolled. Regulus had seen the look so many times during the summer holiday, and now he could remember the faint echo of those eyes from his childhood, time when she had still been whole.

The tattoo shone on Bellatrix's white, strong (too strong) arm. It was black, so very black, and Regulus found himself looking at it with more interest than he had ever paid on anything else. It was almost like the darkness that had lived in him through his whole life had finally woken up and wanted now to take over him.

His gray eyes, the same that looked back at him from Bellatrix's face, were eager and very, very steady when she finally asked the question he had been waiting for so long.


She knew. From the first second Jillian laid her eyes on Regulus, she knew something had happened. It was so clear – he had changed during the few weeks of Christmas holiday so dramatically that everyone in Hogwarts noticed it. And for the first time ever Jillian was afraid of Regulus.

She tried to avoid him best as she could, but even Hogwarts wasn't great and mazy enough. Regulus found her two days after the school's beginning and guided her to the same room they had parted the last night before the holiday.

He knew that the Mark was supposed to stay hidden and if Jillian saw it, he should kill her or at least modify her memory. Only, he didn't have any intentions to kill her and, as capable student he was, he had never been that good at modifying memories.

There was no real problem, though. Only a handful of people knew about the Dark Lord's servants' tattoos, and all those people were on his side. So Regulus started to open the buttons of her cardigan carelessly. (Who in their right mind would wear Muggle clothes in Hogwarts? Stupid, stupid girl... And stupid, stupid buttons.)

Jillian's hands found his arm and the tattoo on it little later. Her dark eyes stared it, her expression was startled and finally she understood wholly who she was playing with. For a moment she hoped that she had listened to Sirius' advice and cursed her stubbornness. "I know how to take care of myself." Yeah, right. What a joke.

She hadn't known Death Eaters wore tattoos. But she was not a complete idiot, and knew very well what kind of mark Death Eaters and their so called Lord sent to the sky every time they had killed someone.

She pushed Regulus away, adrenaline giving her power she hadn't known she had.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Jillian stormed out of the room, and Regulus could hardly blame her.


Jillian changed her mind. She always changed it. When she had been five, she had wanted desperately the same kind of broom James had had. She had whined and whined for days and finally her parents had given in and bought her one. Only after she had got what she wanted she had realised she did not want a broom at all.

Of course, dealing with a Death Eater and wanting some stupid broom were two extremely different things. But just like she had abandoned the broom, she now abandoned every common sense she had left in her little head and decided she did not want to end her meetings with Black.

She knew she was not only putting her own life at risk, but also her family's and friends' – not to mention that after they found out all about her little relationship, they could hardly trust her ever again.

And even though neither she or Regulus wanted to point out the fact, it was obvious that something had changed between them. Now it was more than just a game. The change was scary, and yet neither of them wanted to let go.

When Jillian some years later tried to recall that particular spring, she did not remember anything clearly, only fuzzy pictures from here and there. Those couple moths were full of things to do, exams and friends and long letters to home and Regulus, and later she thought it was better she did not remember anything well.

Because during that spring she finally made the grave mistake of falling in love with Regulus Black.