Keith POV

So maybe going for a run, at night, through an alien rainforest, in the cold wasn't Keith's smartest move to date.

Maybe.

But that just depended on if you took potentially getting himself sick into account.

It had only been a day since he'd snuck out of his cryo pod and decided he needed a run to clear his head.

And to be fair, the run had done exactly that. It had given him time to process what Pidge had said after abandoning their project.

He knew Pidge wanted to talk to him. Had said so quite explicitly, even. But he just couldn't bring himself to go find them. Especially if he was getting sick. Upsetting Pidge more than he apparently had already was not okay.

He didn't blame them for being upset with him. In fact, he agreed with them. They had just been trying to help. And by all rights, it was a clever idea. But try as he might, Keith was just too selfish. How exactly Pidge had found out was a mystery. He could only guess that his holographic twin had mentioned something to them about it while he had been asleep; before that last session that never happened.

So all of their hard work had gone to waste because Keith could never just simply give someone what they wanted. He had to be stubborn and put his own feelings first. Even when it wasn't technically him doing it. Of course Pidge wanted to talk to him now that he was feeling better again. They had done a good job of keeping their disappointment and anger towards him in check before forcing him into the healing pod.

Talking to them now would only make things worse, considering his too quickly deteriorating condition.

And it was deteriorating. Not in the Dysmorthemic sense. He still had a couple days before those symptoms came back full force. But he knew the feeling of an encroaching fever all too well, and the churning in his stomach wasn't exactly a vote of confidence either.

Like hell Keith was going to bother anyone else in the castle with his slip-up, though. Not if he could help it.

They were already wasting too much time and energy on him anyway.

Which is why he was avoiding any and all interaction except mealtime; when he could fake it long enough to eat his meal in as close to silence as possible.

And to be fair, his plan worked for all of two days after his run in the rain before he slipped up.

Of course, Keith wasn't THAT much of an idiot. He'd known he wouldn't be able to keep a fever from the others for long.

But he was still annoyed with himself when he had let Shiro talk him into a light training session after dinner on the second day.

At first things had been going smoothly. Shiro had let Keith choose which exercise to run. Being both the least labor intensive and the least interactive, Keith had gone for the maze. And it had gone smoothly.

But when Shiro had chosen to spar after the success with the maze, things quickly went downhill.

It was in the first round that Keith noticed Shiro was aware that something wasn't quite right.

When Shiro's jab to Keith's gut had caused him to momentarily dry heave, Shiro had paused long enough to give Keith one of his "what do you think you are doing" stares. Which Keith had taken the liberty of ignoring.

But during the second round, Keith began to get dizzy and his body began to stop listening to him altogether.

All it took was one restrained kick to the back to send Keith to the ground, shivering from a phantom chill in the air while too much sweat dripped from his bangs.

"Okay. That's it. We are done here. What aren't you telling me?" Shiro asked as he eased himself onto the ground beside Keith who hadn't managed to stand back up yet.

Keith heard the question. Even over the pounding in his ears. And he'd had every intention of responding, he truly did. But before he had a chance to catch his breath, the tilt-a-whirl in his head spun out of control and he caved into the exhaustion eating at the periphery of his vision, darkening his awareness before his body could fall the last foot and a half to the floor.

But he wasn't out for long. To be fair, he hadn't even truly passed out. More like his body had decided to take a nap and, not having gotten the permission it was hoping for, had taken matters into its own hands.

He came to just as Shiro had finished removing his outer armor, apparently having carried Keith to his room.

It was all too familiar; this scene of his older brother attempting to take care of him like this. It had always been Shiro who nursed him back to health whenever he got sick growing up.

It was disgusting.

"I'm sorry." Keith finally spoke, as soon as he found himself in the proper place and time. Which was more difficult than one might assume, considering just how much his current reality sounded like something from a fever dream. Space mecha made of robot lions and all.

"For what?" Shiro asked, voice more tired and wary than curious. Keith couldn't tell if Shiro actually wanted Keith's answer or if he was just placating him.

"For all of this." He spoke, anyway. "I should never have come. The universe shouldn't be held responsible for my faults." It was the truth. As hard as it was for Keith to voice it aloud, it was still the truth.

Shiro was expecting this answer, apparently, as he just sighed; shaking his head, squaring his shoulders, and sitting down beside Keith on his bunk.

"Now, I know my memory hasn't been the best since coming back, but you didn't exactly have a choice, from what I can tell. I'm pretty sure it was Lance who climbed into the blue lion's mouth." Shiro took a deep breath in and continued on before Keith could retort; the slight humor in his voice replaced by the weary solemness of someone tired of repeating themselves. "And your condition was never your fault. We've been through this. None of it has ever been your fault. I know it's easier to deal with when you have someone to blame. But sometimes, there just isn't anyone to blame. Things just happen, and it sucks."

Keith didn't have a response to that. Who ever could? They had been through this argument before, to no avail. And it always stopped there, as neither of them had found a way to word how they felt.

In the silence, Keith's attention was drawn to the faint rattling beginning to build up in his breaths. He could feel it more than hear it, so he was pretty sure it had escaped his older brother's attention for now. But of course. As soon as he was aware of the sensation, Keith's body suddenly felt the overwhelming need to cough.

It was short, and more just a clearing of his throat than anything else. After a shiver raced up Keith's spine once the coughing had subsided, however, Shiro seemed to think it was a bad sign.

So it wasn't long before Keith was being scanned by a biometric sensor thing that was supposed to take his vitals. Shiro stared at its screen a little longer than he otherwise would have, if he hadn't been trying to translate the readings into something useful.

To no one's surprise, Keith had a low-grade, slowly building fever. Just what they all needed to hear.

Shiro used his helmet intercom to call Coran into the room to have a look at Keith. Much to Keith's chagrin.

Turns out, things like colds were universal and that's just what this was. A space cold. Only manifesting with a fever due to Keith's body already being compromised.

Unfortunately, it seemed like there not being a cure for the common cold was also universal, so Keith would just have to wait it out over the next few days.

Both Shiro and Keith thanked Coran for his time as he was heading out the door with instructions for Keith to drink lots of fluids and have lots of rest. Keith nodded dutifully, with every intention of sneaking out of his room as soon as Shiro and Coran were gone.

Shiro, however, was apparently not done talking to Keith. Once the door was shut behind the Altean, Shiro leveled Keith with a thousand-ton stare; finally choosing to break the silence that was years in the making.

"You know neither Mom nor Dad blamed you, right?" Shiro finally said, his voice just barely above a whisper; eyes boring holes into a spot in the middle of Keith's forehead.

Oh. They were back to this. They had each taken their turn trying to broach the subject of their parents in the past with little success. Too few answers and too many emotions. But Keith wasn't feeling up to deflecting and dodging Shiro's comments today.

"That's not what it looked like to me." Keith heard himself say. Already tired of both the turn in conversation topic and the confines his bed provided.

The words were out before Keith had even thought them. But that didn't stop them from being true.

"Mom left because she blamed Dad. And, I know I didn't talk to him much between Mom and the Garrison, but he never blamed you. He blamed himself." Shiro spoke. The weight of his words wearing his voice thin and hushed, as if his words were some secret gospel, hidden from the masses for millennia.

Keith responded with about the same amount of reverence as he felt appropriate for such a revelation. Which was none.

"Really?" It wasn't his fault his sarcasm was so thick. He hadn't meant for it to come out quite that honest.

"Really." Shiro said, his look so solemn and serious, Keith began to question his brother's ability to pick up on sarcasm at all. Maybe he was sarcasm-blind.

"Look. You lived with mom. I may not remember too much of what it was like to live with her, but I do remember her. I remember hearing the arguments she had with dad. I remember what it was like, not ever being capable of living up to her standards." Keith spat out, his anger at her suddenly rearing its ugly head for the first time in years.

He thought he was over this. He thought he had long since gotten over his futile hatred of their mother. It's not like he could blame her for being angry at him, he was fully aware of just how much of a screw up he was.

Their mom was ever mean to his face. On the contrary, you would have thought he was her second favorite thing in existence. It's not like there was ever a competition for first place. Who could ever win against THE Takashi Shirogane? Ace student, star pilot, beloved friend to all. The only one of the two of them to take her last name when she and their dad separated. Following exactly in her footsteps, promising to be the one person on earth who could beat her at her own game. Perfectly balanced in both physical might and innate intelligence, Shiro had always been destined to be a hero. A leader.

But not Keith.

No. He was just the accidental second child she hadn't expected.

Yet she had treated him with love, despite how much he had failed her. For the first three years of his life, before the diagnosis, she had been the warmest, most loving mother on the face of the planet, only showing the slightest disappointment when he didn't match up to when Shiro was his age. Even after the diagnosis, she was always warm and kind. But there was never any hiding the withdrawn sadness she regarded him in. As if he had somehow betrayed her trust just by existing.

Then, when he was five and Shiro was twelve, things had finally come to a head. Keith could still remember the sound of the fight had broken the camel's back, ending his parent's relationship once and for all.

And like most fights they'd had, this one was about Keith. Or, well, Keith's Dysmorthemia in any case.

Shiro had been at a sleepover, and their dad had just finished putting Keith to bed. He hadn't meant to intrude on his parent's private time. He had just realized he was thirsty about five minutes after his dad had gone back downstairs and had decided to get the water for himself instead of bothering either of his parents.

He hadn't seen the fight. Just heard his mother, angry and in tears, yelling at his father.

"You mean to tell me that you KNEW! You knew the condition ran in your family and you were still selfish enough to have not one but two kids?!" She had stage whispered, her voice wet and venomous.

"Oh come on, hun. How was I supposed to know I had the gene? It's so rare, I didn't think it would be a problem! I wasn't going to let something that had such a small chance of happening to dictate my or your happiness!"

"Oh don't 'hun' me you son-of-a-bitch! I am no longer your 'hun'! Your selfishness has given your son a life sentence! I don't want any part of it!"

And with that, the light to their bedroom had been turned off and Keith had barely had time to run into the kitchen and hide behind the counter as his mom stormed out of the room.

When Shiro had come home from his sleepover, their mom had taken him to a hotel, and that was the last time he had lived with either his mom or his brother, unless you counted the bi-monthly weekends Shiro spent with him and dad.

And no amount of comforting from Shiro would convince Keith that it wasn't his fault. Shiro hadn't been there that night to see what it was that had torn their family apart. Not that anyone present had ever told him what happened. If Keith had just not been born, or had been born healthy like what statistically should have happened, then they would have stayed that big happy family.

But no. Keith had to be the screw-up.

And his dad, as much as he tried to raise Keith as best he could, had known it too.

Which, as far as Keith was concerned, was only fair; seeing as the man had been forced to look at the proof of his failings as a husband and father every day. All the while constantly having to wonder if each day was going to be the day his mistake came to fruition and Keith started dying on him.

That was probably why he'd avoided being home whenever possible. Constantly taking on extra shifts Keith knew he didn't need to take, always coming or going whenever Keith was around. A shout on his way out the door about food in the fridge in the afternoons when Keith got home from school and a few more empty beer bottles added to the recycling when Keith woke up each morning.

"Woah there, buddy." Shiro's voice; not his voice as the kid or teenager from Keith's memories, but his adult voice; pulled him out of his too-real-for-comfort reverie. Somehow during his mental wanderings, he had wound up with his head in Shiro's lap, tears running sideways down his face.

"Hey, you know what, none of that matters right now. Because you are here with me and the rest of your Voltron family. And we love you and want you feeling better." Shiro said, shifting his body weight so that Keith got the hint and sat up.

Man, he was tired. And if the hollowed out circles under Shiro's eyes was anything to go by, he was almost as tired as Keith felt. As his head began to throb from the sudden change in position, Keith leaned back against the wall, expecting Shiro to finally up and leave. But instead of scooting away, Shiro gently pushed him down in the other direction, so that his head was on his pillow, and he was actually laying right-way-round in his bunk.

"...Shut up. I'm sick." Keith said, embarrassment adding to the flush on his cheeks as he turned his head toward the wall in an attempt to hide from Shiro's gaze.

Shiro chuckled anyway. "No worries, bro. Sleep well, and feel better in the morning. Love ya."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Keith mumbled, pulling up his covers as the unnaturally cool air began to settle in around him, before he drifted off into a weird sleep full of yelling yet kindhearted women, (sometimes his mom yelling at his dad and sometimes Allura urging them on too hard in their training), and comforting brotherly faces (sometimes Shiro's from when they were younger, sometimes Shiro as an adult, and sometimes the other paladins. Each face bursting with pride and respect for him.).