Chapter 6 of Dear Life, I Hate Chuck Bass

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When Blair wakes, the last thing she can remember is falling asleep the night Serena came back to New York. But apparently it's 18 months later. She's no longer Nate's girlfriend, Serena is remorseful, and Chuck Bass… is in love with her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl.

A/N – My BETA, Tati, deserves an award because she BETAs super fast and never complains. Love her!

--

"Passion is the mob of the man, that commits a riot upon his reason."
William Penn

You have to understand that I'm a virgin. In my mind, I am. In my mind, it was going to be candles and lace with a soft-spoken Nate.

But it was daylight, I had puke-breath, and I was terrified.

I was terrified, but I kept breathing because what else could I do?

He leaned in slowly, studying me – watching me. My eyes never left his.

I reached out and slowly touched his lips. He parted them, studying me.

His lips were almost on mine – a very welcome gesture – then we both jumped back when my alarm went off. It was 5pm – time for my exercise. A soft acoustic version of

"Time after Time" played out of my digital radio and I smiled.

The tender feel of the music and the close proximity of our bodies left me a goner.

"I have puke breath," I told him.

He smirked and touched my cheek, and I felt the burn of his hand rush through me.

Dear life….

Before I knew it, he was on me, on top of me – his mouth caressing mine.

And oh, sweet Jes-

I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything but keep up with him and his passionate plea that was being ushered through his hands and mouth. I could do this always – just always.

He felt so amazing; he made me feel so amazing – like I was this sexy, powerful creature that needed to be worshiped.

And now he was on top of me, and the feel of his body over mine was exhilarating. It was transporting me to a place that I found oddly familiar, oddly reassuring.

His hands were grasping at my legs, and I was momentarily distracted because I knew they're meaty, but then he was squeezing them and cherishing them, and I was left without breath as I clutched him even tighter.

"God, I love your legs," He said harshly, bending down and placing kisses on the outside of my thighs, and I just stared at him because no one had ever done that. It made me want to wear short little skirts for the rest of my life. Never hide them and always tease him with them.

I felt his hands running under my skirt, and I was suddenly overcome with panic.

Was I wearing matching underwear? Did I wax? Should I have rinsed?

I had no condoms. Did he have some? Why would he carry them? Oh, because he's Chuck Bass, that's why.

Oh, I should have the walls repainted in a soft eggshell color.

But then his mouth was back on mine, and I forgot what walls were.

"Relax," he whispered, and I nodded because I didn't know what relaxation is – I had never experienced it.

And I was grasping at his hair, pulling him in me, wrapping my legs around his waist, and I finally felt it. My eyes widened as his erection poked me through his pants. My breath quickened as I remembered the pictures. He's big. I – I've never…

--

"So… you've had relations then?" Dr. Fiore commented, studying me like she always does. Head tilted, Chanel glasses perched, curious.

"Apparently," I replied.

"I mean recently," She inquired.

"Apparently," I repeated.

She placed her pen down.

"No. I mean, we almost did," I confessed.

"What happened?" She asked, genuinely curious.

I shifted. The carpet there was low-grade.

"My mother."

--

"Mom!"

His body was instantly off mine, and I lay on the bed, breathing and flushing.

My mother was calmly studying us.

"Charles," my mother drawled out, and I was sure she was killing him. In her head. With a sharp, rusty railroad spike. "Blair doesn't remember the rules, but you certainly do."

Chuck smirked, looking down, and I was aghast.

"Of course, Eleanor."

My mother doesn't like it that he addresses her by her first name. I could tell by the way her neck twitched ever so slightly.

She turned to me, and I sucked in a breath. I was sure my face was tomato red from both his kisses and from mortification.

"No sex in the house," She commanded.

My mouth hung open, because I didn't even know my mother knew what sex was.

She nodded.

Chuck nodded.

I nodded.

Dorota nodded (she had been standing behind her, looking very displeased).

We all nodded.

"Good. Dinner is served. Charles, won't you join us?" she said. It was a command.

Chuck smirked. "An evening with two beautiful ladies? I wouldn't miss it."

--

"Look, I know we don't really like each other right now, but I need help," I started out before Serena could say anything.

"B-" she sighed. "I'm busy."

I breathed out loudly over the phone.

"Fine," she gave in. Yay, it works!

"Chuck's here. Downstairs. Talking with my mother." I took a breath. "And they're laughing."

She was laughing, too.

Apparently, the joke was on me, because I was about to have a coronary.

"And she caught us kissing in that "we kiss like we're having sex" kind of way," I added for emphasis and drama.

She was undeterred.

"Well, they get along. What do you expect?" She asked.

"What do you mean??" I was nearly shouting now. "He's Chuck Bass!"

"Exactly. He's a charmer," she explained.

--

When I walked in on them, they were enjoying the crème brulee, and Dorota seemed pleased. I took a seat next to my pseudo boyfriend and glared at him. My mother went on an on about the success of her spring line as he nodded politely, throwing in the most perfect compliments – she enjoyed basking in them. All I could think about was stabbing Chuck with my spork.

"Blair, darling, what is wrong?" My mother snapped me out of my disturbing daydreams of relieving my stress via Chuck, and I smiled.

"Nothing. I'm not feeling desert."

Dorota frowned, and I mentally promised to make it up to her later.

"You love crème brulee," Chuck put in, and Eleanor frowned.

"I think it's quite alright. Perhaps a diet soda for sweetness? Or a mint?" She offered.

I frowned slightly. Chuck was clearly upset.

--

"What are you doing?" I hissed when I had a moment with him alone.

He smirked. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" I snapped.

"I like your mom," he said calmly, and he looked sincere enough, but I know Chuck Bass better.

"Since when?" I asked. To be honest, I never really noticed who he liked and who he didn't.

"Since the dream," His eyes got misty, and I was even more suspicious.

My eyes narrowed as I study him and his utopian look.

"What dream?" My voice was low as I observed my mother give instructions to Dorota out of the corner of my eye.

"Anne, Lily and Eleanor. All together."

I stared at him and blinked.

Oh, shit, no.

Dear life, Chuck Bass is a pervert, and he's never touching me again.

--

"I'll be turning in. I'm sure Charles must be getting back home since there's school tomorrow," Eleanor said pointedly as she nodded in our direction and headed to her room. Dorota spied on us for a moment, then turned to leave.

I turned to Chuck and sharply smacked him.

"What the hell?" He snapped.

"A threesome? With our mothers?" I hissed, livid.

He looked at me as if this was quite normal.

"This is quite normal, Waldorf. I'm a teenager," he explained

I hate him.

"It is not!"

He smirked, and I wanted to wipe it off his face because he was annoying me to no end.

He had this silly hat in his hand and called to Dorota to get him his coat.

"Leave," I said.

"I intend to," he nodded.

He slipped on the coat Dorota offered him, and then swatted me lightly with the hat. "Walk me to the elevator."

I was still too upset to think of anything other than Anne, Lily and my mother together, so I followed him without protest. When the doors slid open, he stepped in and stared at me.

My body flushed because of the way he was looking at me. Then, before I knew it, he had reached out, yanked me in as the doors closed behind me, and pulled me to him.

My nipples (don't ask how they got to that condition) were hard as rocks, and his tongue was tasting my neck. I moaned, pulling him to me.

This was so wrong, wrong, right, right – yes, yes!!

Oh, and then he pulled the emergency stop. I heard warning bells in my head, but the way he was working my ears and my mouth, I couldn't think—nor did I want to.

Before I could stop myself, I was pushing him down on the floor and wrapping my legs around his waist as his hands went under my skirt, pushing it up.

And… ok. I'm ashamed of this, and no one is ever ever ever reading you, diary.

I had sex.

I had honest-to-Satan fantastic sex.

It was wild, and it was crude, and it was sweet and loving, and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, diary.

I mean… Chuck knew what he was doing – sure. But somehow… So did I. It's like I knew where to place my hands, knew how to rock my hips, knew how to tease him, and it was utterly fantastic!!

But this is bad.

At least it wasn't in the house, I reasoned with myself. My mother would be proud.

--

I waltzed to school (but did not skip, because I was certainly not happy).

I spotted Serena, who was in the middle of a constipated conversation with someone I could only presume to be this 'Dan Humphrey'.

He spotted me and sighed, wanting to get away. Good. He knows not to mess with me.

"Waldorf," he greeted.

I looked him up and down.

"Person," I responded.

"Blair." Serena stated, giving me a look that only meant 'be nice'. "This is Dan Humphrey. Dan – Blair."

I nodded, but he was obviously out of the loop. Because he was looking like a little boy lost in the storm as his mouth opened and closed.

"I have memory loss and, thank goodness, I don't remember you." I explained, looking at his LL Bean pants. I didn't know you could still purchase those.

Dan let out a laugh of incredulity. "You mean he wasn't lying?"

"Who?" I asked.

"No, Nate wasn't lying," Serena answered for me.

"How do you know Nate?" I snapped.

He sighed. "We go to the same school."

I looked him over, once more, doubtful.

He looked me up and down. "You're still the same."

"I lost memory, not personality," I explained to him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Then I venture to guess I'm still not welcomed."

I smiled encouragingly. For him to leave.

He did leave, giving Serena an odd, gay wave.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

She was glaring at me.

"You won't like him in any universe, will you?" She demanded.

"I'm pretty sure I won't."

She sighed. "You look happy," she commented.

I took a deep breath and smiled. But not a happy smile, because this was nothing to be happy about – just a regular smile smile.

"I lost my virginity," I told her.

I honestly don't know why I told her – I mean, she was my very best friend, my sister for so long, but so many things have happened since then. But she had been consistently there for me since I woke, encouraging me and protecting me.

In all honesty, I had to tell someone.

Her eyebrows rose, and she smiled.

"Chuck?" She asked, but knew full well what the answer was.

I nodded.

"Last night?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Where?" She asked, still all smiley.

I gulped. Lie, lie, lie.

"In my bed. Amidst candles and Bryan Adams."

Her eyes narrowed. "Liar," she hissed.

I gulped. Dammit. She knows Chuck too well.

"I know you too well."

Or me.

"Fine," I snapped. "In the elevator."

She gaped at me. "Stop it!" She cried.

"I know," I nodded. "I'm going to hell. Most likely in an elevator."

"Stop it!" She covered her eyes. "I have to use that elevator!"

"Take the stairs…"

--

He found me between classes; he was behind me, grabbing me and pulling me behind a wall.

I wasn't going to smile; I wasn't going to give in. I was going to act indifferent around him, but he felt so amazing. Before I knew it, I was in his arms and looking up at him, smiling.

He looked elated and began kissing me. And my mind was rushing with all the memories of his hands and his body and us in that elevator. That elevator that would remind me of us every time I rode it. Because I rode him. I rode the elevator.

Oh, God, and his tongue…

"Wait," I panted, still needy. "What are we doing?"

"Re-enacting," he explained, going back to my neck. His hands were grasping at my thighs once more.

"We did this?" I asked, breathless.

"Yes, yes," he whispered. "But more carefully, because Nate wasn't supposed to find out."

My stomach felt cold. We were a secret rendezvous?

"Did we ever –" I pushed him back slightly. "Were we ever normal?"

He stopped, looking at me, and I could visually see him gulp. His throat moved up and down.

"What?" I asked, fixing his tie.

He looked down at me and did something that will perhaps be imbedded in me for the rest of my life. The feeling it gave me warmed me inside out. He reached out, digging his fingers in my hair and pulling me to him, and pressed his lips to my forehead. I felt warm, content and … loved.

Yet as much as I loved it, this odd feeling took over me. He still felt extremely guilty about something.

"Chuck…" I said softly. "What happened?"

He kept my head right where it was.

"You're getting ahead of the story."

I brought my hand to his and pressed it there.

I'm not sure I want to know the rest of the story. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't.

I don't want things to go back to how they were because if things were this messed up and painful, it can only mean bad things. And things are good now.

"Don't tell me," I turned my head to look at him.

He blinked at me, confused.

"Don't tell me," I repeated. Then I thought it over. "At least not today."

He nodded slowly.

"Just for today… Why don't we make our own memories?" My fingers were in his hair and I was pulling him down. He nodded, slightly relieved.

--

"Something is bothering you," she noted.

"I just… Everything is so good, you know?" I told her, my leg shaking unconsciously.

"Should things not be good?" She asked, staring at me.

"Yes!" I perked. "No. I mean – shit, I don't know."

She raised her brow.

"What's bothering you?" She inquired softly, and I knew she was making me comfortable with her so I would spill like a can of beans.

It worked.

"Something bad happened," I said softly. "I feel it in my gut. I see it in his eyes. Something that broke us up for some time. Something that took a long time for me to forgive."

"Bad things always happen. Along with the good," she said.

I was quiet, studying a little string on my skirt.

"But they always make us stronger," she said wisely. "If, after all the bad, you can still find your way back to each other and make it work… then…" she smiled. "Then shout that you love him in the middle of the street."

I blanched. "What?"

"You know, for a girl who loves romantic movies, you sure don't act like the heroine you think you are."

Dear life, I hate her.

--

Ok, so perhaps I have to relax a little. Yes, my life is kinda sucky, but at least I'm still a size 2 (3 ½). So I decided to try spontaneity.

Audrey would approve.

I stared at myself in the mirror before I left. My outfit was perfect. It was all about the adventurous today. My hair was in a ponytail and I tied my trench coat. I didn't call him; I just decided to show up. I was bouncing to his room after throwing a confused Bart a wave.

I knocked on his door and entered before he answered.

I blinked at the scene before me. There was this perfect woman on his bed. And when I say a perfect woman, I mean a perfect Victoria Secret-like woman. With her mile-long legs, perfect tan, and Brazilian hair perfectly fluffed and ready for a camera.

"Chuck," she said, (accent and all) calling to him as she eyed me, smiling slightly.

Chuck Bass walked out of his bathroom, in a robe and hair wet.

"Blair," he says, surprised.

I couldn't breathe.

I stared at the woman and then back at him. He looked as innocent as could be.

"Hummm…." He was at loss for words, and apparently so was I.

"Cassandra," the woman introduced herself.

I stared at her and her perfection, and I turned around, walking out.

Blair Waldorf, you are a fool. A complete fool. Google 'fool', and you'll find a picture of Blair Waldorf.

Google 'bastard', and you'll find Chuck Bass.

I don't know when I started to run – I almost did run over a clearly confused Bart Bass in my haste to leaving the place and perhaps the planet.

I heard Chuck calling after me as I hit the elevator button--banged on it is more like it. I was three breaths from taking the stairs, but finally the doors opened and I gratefully stepped in.

But the bastard also managed to enter as the doors close behind him.

I was so angry… I was so angry I could spit. The last time we had been together in an elevator he had confessed love to me – now he was – UGH!!

So I hit him. With my Chloe purse.

"You bastard!" I shouted, and he tried to calm me down by grabbing me, which only served to make me madder. I finally kicked his shin with my pointy shoe and he howled.

"I hate you. I hate you, Chuck Bass!" I couldn't be crying, but apparently I was. "I don't want you near me! I'm glad I don't remember – I'm glad I don't remember a thing!" I was shouting. "I want to forget you and never to be near you!"

He was looking at me, mouth opened.

"She's a business associate!" He cried. "And a lesbian!"

I didn't believe him, of course – would you? I mean, this is Chuck Bass – lesbianism turns him on.

"That's not my business," I growled. "But you know what my business is? Forgetting you. All of you."

The doors opened, and I swiftly stepped out, leaving him in his half-open robe.

Dear life… I hate him, I hate him, I hate him – I wish his penis would fall off, shrivel up and die.

He kept calling my phone, so I threw it into the middle of street.

Which was how I ended up arrested.

No, trust me – there's a perfectly good explanation. I didn't see the old woman, and I totally didn't mean to knock her unconscious. I totally feel bad.

It's all his fault.

You understand now why I hate him, right?

--

To be continued

NOTE: has created a new section on TV Shows for Gossip Girl. I will be moving this fiction there over the weekend. Please don't look for any of my fiction anymore since I have moved them to the new section were they rightfully belong. If you're a writer I encourage you to do the same since we really write about the TV Show, not the books. Thank you!!