Ch. 7

I woke up in the hospital wing to the sound of arguing. As I opened my eyes, I saw Madame Pomfrey berating Snape, and I shook my head slowly as I tried to listen in on their conversation.

"Severus, for the last time, what did you do!?" Madame Pomfrey hissed, and Snape merely glared back in his usual cold fashion.

"I told you Poppy, the girl fainted of her own volition on the 7th floor corridor. I merely brought her here, and now that I am unsaddled by the girl, I shall take my leave" he snarled, and I coughed to gain their attention, feeling guilty that Madame Pomfrey was blaming Snape for my passing out. They both turned to me, and I met Madame Pomfery's tired eyes, ignoring the coal black ones that were currently boring a hole into my skull.

I searched for a song to relay my health, but Madame Pomfrey addressed me beforehand, "Ms. Granger, dear, how are you?" She asked with concern in her voice, stepping forward to place her hand on my forehead. I glanced quickly to Professor Snape, only to see him rolling his eyes and muttering something about "Gryffindors" and "special treatment." I glanced away, flushing, until Madame Pomfrey declared there was nothing outwardly wrong with me.

"You feel alright now, not faint?" She asked as I sat up, and I opened my mouth to answer her, forgetting voice was not audible. Oh, oh Malfoy's curse. I flushed harder and looked down, avoiding her pitying gaze, when she patted my arm as said I was free to go.

I walked quickly from the room, feeling a presence following me out of the infirmary, and I took a deep breath and stopped a few feet from the doors. I gathered up my courage and turned to face Professor Snape. I nodded and mouthed a thank you, staring into the expressionless face and glittering black eyes, and he simply nodded, saying nothing before turning and walking in the opposite direction, towards the dungeons.

I shook my head and turned back, walking slowly to Gryffindor tower. Once I entered, the entire room turned to face me at once, their eyes beseeching me to answer their questions about Ron. I sighed and walked past them all, ignoring Harry's calls and Ginny's questions, going up to my bed, closing the curtains and slumping over onto my side. I wrapped myself up in a ball and bit my lips, willing my emotions to stay away. So, I am mute, and I had a falling out with one of my best friends. I have faced trolls, Dark Lord's, death eaters, monsters, and...and-

My thoughts cut off as I let out sob, burying my face in my pillow and brokenly crying into it from my despair. How can this all be happening, why?

I cried for who knows how long, willing my body to stop, but even when the sobs ceased wracking my body the tears continued to stream down my cheeks in a steady motion of despair. Why must everything be so difficult? Can we not have one year to just focus on school!?

I recalled something I had said to the boy's in our first year: "Now I am going to bed before either of you figure out another idea that will get us all killed, or worse, expelled!"

I choked out a laugh at that, remembering the stricken looks on their faces. Expelled over living, what a laugh. I would happily be expelled this moment if it meant I could gain some happiness. Something. Anything.

I felt the walls begin to close around me, and I shut my eyes against the isolating darkness. But the darkness of my mind continued to gnaw at me until I went to sleep.

And then it haunted my dreams.