Chapter 7: Lots of
Talk, No Action
Kate: Stevens' house,
living room, Sacramento: 4:20pm: 17 June
With everything quiet and everyone out of sight, I leaned in to kiss Lizzie again, but I pulled back, and saw her staring at me sadly. I felt a little stupid, but the things rushing around in my head needed to be addressed.
"What if Mr. and Mrs. Stevens come in and see us?" I asked.
"Well…Mr. Stevens would probably be concerned with my stitches and Mrs. Stevens would probably ask you to stay for dinner."
"Oh, really?"
"I promise. They're super liberal. They won't crucify you or anything."
"But the PDA?"
She shrugged, "We'll go upstairs after dinner. It's not like it'll get too bad…I mean, I have stitches and all."
"What about your parents?"
Shrugging again, she said, "That…I'm not sure. Yours?"
"They don't pay enough attention to me to notice." I couldn't believe I actually said that out loud. It was the first time I had really verbally acknowledged this information I had known all my life.
Lizzie looked at me compassionately. She knew. She had always known. She never spent the night at my house when we were little; I always spent the night at hers because I wanted to get away. I wanted so desperately to get out, and be around people that seemed to care. As I sat next to her, still dripping went, and not bothering to do more with the towel than leave it across my shoulders, her hand graced my cheek and tucked my damp hair behind my ear.
She whispered, "Kate, its ok."
"I guess so. You always paid attention to me, Lizzie McGuire." I smiled.
"And you paid more attention to me than you liked to admit." She said, poking my nose.
"Yeah…I did." I pressed my forehead against hers, "I was so stupid."
"It's ok now though."
"I'm scared completely shitless, and you're the only person I would ever tell that to."
"Me too…"
"Really?"
She nodded, and kissed me briefly, "My stupid pain medicine makes me really tired. I'm sorry."
"It's completely ok."
She rested her head on my lap, and I toyed casually with her hair. This felt like home more than my actual home did.
"Do you suppose Ren would take me to the hotel so I can get all of my things?"
"I'm sure she would."
Mrs. Stevens popped in from the kitchen, "Oh…hello. Friend of Ren's?"
I extended my hand, from my position on the couch, not wanting to disturb Lizzie, who seemed comfortable, "Yes, and Lizzie's. I'm Kate."
"Did you get stuck out in the rain, honey?"
I nodded innocently.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?"
I looked down at Lizzie, and she smiled widely, saying, "Lizzie: one point, Kate: zero."
Smiling, I accepted the invitation with a shy nod.
"That's wonderful. The more the merrier. Where is Ren? No one in the kitchen seemed to know."
"She went to Tawny's." I said.
"Alright. Well, Steve should be home soon, and then I'll start cooking." And she exited again.
Ren stumbled back in, looked at us completely defeated, and went upstairs. She looked a little worse off than I did, or so I thought. I hadn't actually seen myself. Her pants were covering in mud.
"Ren, honey? Is that you?" Her mom yelled from the kitchen, having heard her come in.
"She went upstairs!" Lizzie shouted back, and then winced.
"Hold still, McGuire." I told her firmly.
"I don't suppose things with Tawny went well…" She said sadly.
"Don't suppose so. Does anyone know if Ren likes Tawny, or is it just Tawny?" I asked.
Ruby came back into the living room just in time to hear my question, "Had I known Tawny liked her, I never ever would have sent her off with Ethan. Tawny never said a word about it, and kept it completely to herself. Ren, though…Ren, I really don't know. Her being a lesbian would make her far more interesting."
"Ethan's really good in bed." I inserted, and Lizzie shifted around uncomfortably, "Well…he was…before…"
"Ah, Ren, the poor dear, she's definitely a virgin. She wouldn't have had sex with him, I don't think." said Ruby.
"She is?" I was a little shocked, I didn't see how she could have problems getting boys. She seemed nice and pretty enough.
"Indeed. Hot girl, but her personality…" She rolled her eyes.
"Aww…Ren's nice." Lizzie inserted.
Ruby sat down, "How about you, Miss McGuire? You have your fair share of experience with boys before changing teams?"
To my surprise, she nodded.
"Oh my God, who!" I asked, sounding far more angry than I really was. It was purely shock. It seemed to catch her off guard, and then said, "It better have been Gordo cus he's a good kid."
"No…it was…um…Eric."
"Eric Hammond? My ex?"
"It was no good, really. It was all he cared about."
"I know. He's such an asshole. I wanted to tell you…"
"Why didn't you?" She seemed sad.
I caressed her forehead gently, "You know…"
"Interesting," Ruby sighed, "I want to have sex with a girl at some point…just to, you know…see what it's like. I'm not gay or anything, but you gotta try everything once."
"Do you suppose we'll be any good at the lesbian sex?" Lizzie looked at me curiously.
I was a total lesbian. It was settling in, and was some pretty heavy shit, "You're moving too fast for me, babe."
She laughed, and said to Ruby, "You should ask Tawny about some of her lesbian friends."
"I've thought about it…I mean…not a lot, but I didn't want her to think I was batting for her team or anything. Didn't want her to fall in love with me, ya know? Now I'm well aware that wouldn't have happened…but I didn't know that until recently and all…"
"Just out of curiosity…what kind of girl would you do?" I asked, giggling a little.
"Oh…I don't know. Someone super hot. I don't really look at girls like that. I'm so totally straight."
"Lizzie's the only girl I've ever really…I dunno…felt like that with…and it was something more than all that. Know what I mean?" I noticed Lizzie had fallen asleep.
Ruby shrugged, "Oh my God…don't tell anyone about this."
"I won't. I am an excellent secret keeper…I did it for a long time."
"So how does it feel to be a lesbian?"
What kind of question was that, "I don't know…feels like liking anyone else…only it's a girl, which makes it a little hard to swallow…just cus of what other people'll think, I guess."
"You think you'll miss the sex?"
Shrugging my shoulders. There were ways of getting around that, "Why so many questions?"
"Just wondering. I ask questions. I'm a gossip-monger. I like to know everything."
I nodded, "I think I'm a bad lesbian."
"What?" She laughed, but kept it quiet so not to wake Lizzie.
"I don't know anything about lesbian…stuff?"
"Vaginas?" That was true too, but it wasn't what I was talking about.
"No, I mean like…I don't know what lesbians do…"
"In bed?"
"No, Ruby." I laughed, "Like…I don't seem very gay."
"So?"
I shrugged. I really didn't. I was the popular girl. The pretty popular girl. The cheerleader. Not the lesbian.
"You're being silly."
Mr. Stevens walked in the front door and sat his umbrella down, "Hello, Ruby…and Lizzie's asleep…and who are you?" He asked me, "You seem to be a friend of Ruby's…and I assume Ren's too, in that case."
"I'm Kate…um…Mrs. Stevens…err…your wife…invited me to stay for dinner."
"Alright. Sounds good. Mind Lizzie's stitches." He said and then went into the kitchen to greet his wife.
"Lizzie: two points. Kate: zero." I muttered.
"Huh?" Ruby was confused.
"Oh. Nothing."
