Thank you Dave. Your hard work and unending support helps push me through.


Pick

Confundus


Fleetwood Mac - Dreams


'T-thanks,' she stammered at the compliment, her cheeks burning something fierce. 'I-it's from the- the Ben Sinclair series.'

Peter Pettigrew's smile grew and she choked on her spit which was not at all embarrassing. Thankfully Lily was nearby and helpfully thumped her on the back.

But only for like a minute.

As the room sat in silence.

And watched.

It was nice.

'I know. I recognised the crest of Albert's Shield,' he said pointing at the nearest design ... which so happened to rest on her pubes.

'Y-yeah.'

Ever so casually, she moved her hands over the area, shielding it from the Marauder's erect digit.

Smooth.

'Stop pointing at her vagina!' growled Sirius from somewhere in the room.

'I'm not,' defended Peter over his shoulder, grin out in full force. 'I'm admiring her pj choice.'

Actually, not to be technical or anything but he kinda was pointing at her vagina.

Really, she should have said something but she didn't know what. She'd never been confronted with this scenario nor had she ever expected it to happen. Was she supposed to say something?

Stop pointing at my vagina please...?

Stop pointing at my vagina!

This was a weird day.

Aaand he was still pointing.

'That is her vagina Pete. Please st-'

'I heard the word vagina.'

She did a double take when Remus Lupin walked in.

Light brown, curly hair that reached past his shoulder blades. White T-shirt, ripped jeans, leather bracelets, heavily tattooed and a pierced eyebrow which was raised in question at Lily who had last spoken.

For some reason he was carrying a mini teacup poodle.

A squeal was ripped from the redhead who ran towards the drummer and just as quickly snatched up the pup.

'Oh my God!' She gushed. 'Look at her! She's adorable!'

The drummer scratched behind the puppy's ears with a nod. It's little tongue attempting to lick his bigger hand.

'That she is Lils.'

'What's her name?'

'Voldemort.'

'Voldemort?' asked James, stepping closer to snatch up the wittle aminal with one large hand until they were eye to eye.

The tiny dog looked like a damn teddy bear and she wanted to cuddle it.

'Yeah,' nodded Remus Lupin. 'It's French. Means flight of death.'

'Flight of- what the fuck kind of name is that?' asked a disgusted James Potter, handing the doggie back to Lily.

'You never been on a ten hour flight with a baby, a nervous bloke and a puppy have you mate? But never mind that, I heard vagina.'

'Yeah. Pete's pointing at Hermione's.'

'Who's?' Light brown eyes scanned the room, found Peter and then her. His grin morphed onto a full on laugh as he studied her. 'Hermione?'

Her name sounded good on his lips. His Scots accent added a little something extra to it, making it sound aggressive.

Before she could reply, Sirius made his presence known.

'Don't fucking do it!'

Remus turned wide innocent eyes to the Marauder as he continued his struggle against Dude.

'Why, whatever do you mean?' he asked, eyes wide.

His innocence wasn't to be believed though. Not since he'd taken deliberate step towards her and now stood next to Pete, eyeing the bass player's hand.

'Why you fingering her mate?'

'MOONY!'

'I wasn't,' laughed Peter, eyes on Sirius before turning to Remus, pointer finger still aimed at her bits. 'I was talking to her about her pajamas.'

Remus squinted, tilting his head. 'Oh. Aye. They would be from the Ben Sinclair books?'

'Yeah. I was admiring Albert's Shield... which she's now covered with her hands.'

Remus Lupin tsked, shaking his head. 'That's verra rude. Here ya are, trying to admire art and she stops you.'

'Agreed,' said James Potter from somewhere behind them. 'You should take a closer look.'

'Don't!' shouted Sirius, his struggles loud and clear. 'Remus I'm fucking warning you!'

'Quiet Sirius. Men are talkin'.'

Somehow the bloke had managed to move her hands and before she knew it, two Marauders were kneeling before her, completely level with her vagina.

Best. Day. Ever.

Did-Did she put her hands on their heads...?

Cus she'd be completely okay with that.

Hermione swallowed thickly. She knew she was bright red but at that moment, not a single fuck was given. A vicious growl brought her back and she turned in time to see Sirius' continued struggle. A snicker by her navel made her blink.

That's right, Remus and Peter were worshiping her pussy.

'-hat's the shield from book six mate.'

'No it's not ya numpty. It's the film version. The one his wife made.'

Pete moved to take a closer when-

'Oi! Mate,' said Remus, suddenly stopping him. Golden eyes looked up at her, at her Albert's Shield/vagina and then Pete. He looked confused as if just now aware of their situation. He shook his head. 'This is wrong. Verra wrong,' he said before unceremoniously putting her hands on top of their heads. 'There. That's better.'

'Feel free to give a tug,' said Pete with a wink at her, forcing heat to race up her spine.

James laughed, Remus snickered and Sirius continued to bitch.

'Okay, guys I think that's enough,' said Cu-Luna, startling her.

Hermione had actually forgotten she was there.

'Leave Hermione alone. You've had your fun, Sirius is pissed off and we all had a laugh. Jokes over now.'

'Yeah,' said James with a shake of his head. 'No.'

'Sorry Luna,' Peter said, 'Moony and I need to settle this.'

Beside him, Remus growled and shook his head. 'Still doesn't feel right.' He looked back up at her. 'Would ya mind moaning my name lass?'

'No.'

'WHAT?!'

She clapped both hands to her lips as her cheeks burned with even more damn heat which should've been impossible. Laughter broke out across the room and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into a fucking hole and die.

And then she thought about the whole situation and a giggle threatened to escape her as she realised what she'd said.

No, she wouldn't mind moaning his name.

Technically, it wasn't a lie. In fact, Hermione doubted there'd be few people in the world who'd mind moaning Remus Lupin's name.

'Let go of me!' shouted Sirius and this time, Dude obliged him. The angry Marauder stalked towards her, shoving his laughing band mates aside. The prick proceeded to grab her by the hand and marched her down the hall into another room.

The second he shut the door behind him, Hermione found herself pressed against the door. Anger fueled lips staking their claim as callused hands pressed her softness into his hardness and her every cell flared with heat.

His hands were everywhere and though she should have minded, she couldn't help but moan as a calloused thumb caressed her covered nipple.

Her heart was racing. She ached for him and the whole of her focus zeroed in on the pressure he was creating between her legs.

Warm lips coaxed her tongue and teased her lips. His desperation changed into something less that hinted at so much more and she returned his heated caress.

Hermione gasped as a heavy hand cupped her breast, dark eyes fluttering shut as his mouth trailed down her neck.

'Sirius.'

The Marauder groaned, his hand leaving her breast, moving down and lower still, building in her a desperation she'd never known she could possess.

His fingers traced the skin beneath her navel. A feather light touch that made her shiver.

He stopped and her eyes opened. Chest heaving, Hermione swallowed thickly as a familiar gleam shined behind his eyes, claiming her.

He cupped her face then. Teased her with a near kiss that made her long for more and then he was gone.


Hermione took off her slippers and Sirius' jacket as she settled in, finally realising that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon so she may as well get comfortable.

Lily and Luna had visited her earlier to inform them that their band meeting was running a bit late but that it would be over soon. That'd been an hour ago now and still no sign of her boyfriend. At least she had the lap of luxury to entertain her.

Sirius had dropped her off in a high end waiting room. The type usually reserved for celebrities and people not accustomed to waiting on others.

Soft plush seats, fancy tables decorated with fresh flowers in sparkling vases. A huge television decorated the opposite wall. To her right stood a ceiling to floor window, London's skyline as her vista. It was all quite pretty and unnecessarily expensive she was sure.

She rubbed her tired feet as she thought.

They all knew her name.

From Dude to Remus- they had all recognised her name and they'd all studied her in one shape or form... which meant... what?

That Sirius had talked about her?

And more than once, going by the varied reactions.

Dude had stared. Lily had cheered. Luna had stuttered and The Marauders had baited him.

Also. They all seemed pleased to see her. Damn near relieved.

Hadn't one of them shouted finally?

Shit was weird.

A bit flattering and she kinda liked it but she pushed down any happy she felt because she was just assuming at this point.

The fact remained however that they had all known her name. Which was nice. It hinted at him sincerely caring for her and only added credence to all that sweet shit he'd said earlier.

... Which also terrified her cos it implied that he sincerely cared for her. And as had been previously established, he scared the crap out of her.

Bloke could kiss though. The things he could do with his tongue...

Hermione shook her head, refusing to think about that for now. It was stupid. Pathetic really. It'd been the first and only time she'd had that done to her and she barely remembered it but she knew enough to know she'd fucking loved it.

'Oh God,' she groaned.

Would you mind moaning my name lass?

No.

She hadn't even thought of her answer. She'd just... said it.

Hermione stifled a giggle between her hands and quickly dropped them since they smelled like her feet. And she'd touched her face with them.

Great.

The brunette sighed, turning to look at the table behind her, filled with fruit, bottled water and lots of other healthy looking crap that would be kind to her arteries but a bitch to her taste buds.

Nothing looked tasty. Everything was so... brown. And organic. And why the fuck was there celery in the water?

What was wrong with these people?

Where was the bacon?

Famous people, she thought as she sniffed the least offending muffin. Gluten-free said the wrapper and Hermione wondered if it would've tasted better if they'd just left the gluten in.

Also, what the fuck was gluten?

She didn't know, but if these Hollywood types thought it unhealthy then she was sure it was delicious.

She was hungry though. It was midday now and they'd given away the donuts to a stray dog.

A careful bite revealed that the banana bran muffin was passable. It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible either.

Either way, she finished it and washed it down with celery water when her mouth got too dry. It'd been an odd combination, one she hadn't completely enjoyed but whatever. Food was food.

She was halfway through an apple when the door opened and in walked James Potter. The only Marauder not familiar with her groin area.

The bloke strode into the room, a soft smile on his lips as he reached her. Hermione frowned because the closer he got, the more she realised this dude wasn't the lead singer. This version of James had jeans and trainers on. No fancy suit, pointed shoes or crisp shirt in sight. Nothing that hinted to the chest cleavage, show pony wanker he was known to be. It was his face though- the similarities were uncanny.

Same hair. Similar facial structure. Even the glasses. They looked so much alike they had to be related.

'Hermione?' he asked with a voice she'd never heard before.

She nodded, shaking his hand as he reached out towards her.

'Pleasure to meet you,' said Not James. 'I'm Harry. Jamie's brother.'

Brother. Right. That made sense.

Now that she had a closer look she realised they weren't exact copies of each other but damn near. The eyes were the most startling feature. James' eyes were hazel, she'd read. Harry's were a beautiful shade of green. And he was shorter. Not by much but enough.

Younger brother then.

'Right,' she said, letting go of his hand. 'Nice to meet you.'

He gestured to the door behind him. 'Slughorn sent me in here when he found out you were here.'

She nodded because alright...?

Not James laughed, shaking his head. 'Their manager. I'm his assistant.'

Another gaping nod from her, cos all the eloquence was hers.

'He asked me to offer you this,' he said, handing her an envelope.

She didn't take it, already far too experienced with these people trying to hand her things. When she didn't take it, he beamed and tucked it away.

'Forget it. It's not important. Ready to go?'

That snapped her out of her stupor. 'Sorry?'

'Sirius,' he again gestured to the door. 'He told me to take you home? Said he'd text you?'

All she heard was take you home. On queue, her chest hurt and she felt sick.

'Sorry?' she said again cos she was good at the talking thing.

Poor Not James looked confused as he pushed up his glasses. 'Yeah... said you needed clothes.'


She'd been an idiot.

After Harry had dropped her off, she'd hurried up to her room, showered and dressed and then she'd waited.

And then she'd waited some more.

As the hours passed, her anxiety had morphed into worry which had given way to insecurity and now, the day after, she was fucked off.

Sirius never showed up. Didn't call or text.

To be fair, you did leave your mobile back at your mum and dad's. He may not know.

Doesn't explain why he hasn't shown up or sent a note.

Maybe he's busy.

It was sound logic and she'd told Lav to piss off. Curvy bitch hadn't seemed to mind, she'd just shaken her head and proceeded to tell her of the bloke she'd met on New Year's Eve.

'Scouse. Talks like shite but fucker's hung!'

Okay, it'd distracted her and she'd laughed and had even enjoyed talking about her initial meeting with the Marauders. it'd been fun and an exciting change as she rarely had the chance to gush about guys, usually it was her doing all the listening and giving soothing words of comfort. All good things come to an end though and when Lav started to yawn, she sent her to her room.

Sleep didn't come and two days later, she'd accepted the inevitable and understood that she'd been dumped.

Wife number whatever without the official title. Or large money offer. Not that she would've accepted it or anything but sometimes, it was the thought that counted.

She was ashamed to admit that she'd cried. It was stupid of course, cos while there was nothing inherently wrong about crying over a boy, she'd believed herself above such trivialities and this thing had proved her wrong. Apparently she, Hermione Jean Granger, could cry over boys.

It pissed her off.

She took down the one poster she'd managed to accumulate and deleted all their songs from her music library.

When Lav found out that Sirius had still not made an appearance, the bitch tore down her numerous posters, threw away all their CDs and vinyls in a thorough display of female solidarity. All while swearing vengeance and various threats for his daring to hurt her best friend.

I'll kill him with his damn guitar strings and shove his guitar so far up his arse he'll burp notes!

Several bottles of wine had been bought and Lavender listened as Hermione bitched and cried. And then she proceeded to give her the greatest piece of advice ever known to humankind.

Fuck them fuck boys!

Fuck them fuck boys indeed.

She didn't need him and this thing had been nothing more than a passing fancy... which had caused her to disobey her parents.

She drank more wine.

And kept drinking well into the next day.

Normally, Hermione didn't indulge in drunken stupors but for this, Lavender assured her, it was perfectly fine. Add in the exceeding amount of stress she felt when her parents came to mind, Hermione felt no need to stay sober.

Eventually she would have to get over this.

Eventually, she'd have to break radio silence and call her mum.

Eventually she'd have to face them down the family table as they had a Family Meeting and inevitably begged their forgiveness for daring to defy them.

But not yet. Her pride had already taken a hit, never mind the pain Sirius and his lies had caused.

Just until this weekend, she'd told herself. Enough time to heal her broken heart and fucking hell did that not feel like an overly dramatic exaggeration.

She'd brought this on herself though. Hermione had known what he was and still, she'd let herself be swept away by the fairytale of it all.

But never again.

'Fuck them fuck boys!' she said, before draining the rest of her wine glass.

A shake of the bottle on her nightstand revealed it empty. With a stifled yawn, she flopped down on her bed.

It was midweek, nearing midnight and the house was silent. The twins still hadn't returned from their overseas family trip and Lav was once again in lust and thoroughly enjoying her youth and sexuality via a bloke she'd met on some app.

Yay for having a vagina and enjoying the hell out of it without societal expectations bringing you down.

Also yay for maintaining your decision to remain a virgin until love.

Yay for Girl Power, Spice Girls and wine!

She lifted her glass in salute and frowned at the emptiness of it. She needed more wine but the fridge was Too Far and like... twenty steps away. Too much work really.

Plus, she didn't need it anymore.

Nope. Not when she had awsome friends, her brains and a plan.

Okay. She didn't have a plan yet but she would. Soon. Cos this mopey version of her wasn't her and she wanted to be her again.

Sirius didn't matter. Fuck boys didn't matter and she didn't care.

At. All.

And Sirius Black could go fuck himself.

Her eyes fluttered shut and the glass tipped to the side, barely stirring her fingers.


Never again, Hermione swore to herself, would she drink again.

Her head was aching and she really wasn't in the mood for noise but needs were more important than her wants. And what she needed was a hangover cure cos her previous two days of heavy drinking had finally caught up to her.

And her cure usually came in the form of a tattoed pixie intent on "expanding her world."

Normally, Hermione didn't like judging other people's musical choices, she tended to like mellow and chill, organic tunes so she couldn't understand how anybody would label shrieking men and women as music.

Then again, most people didn't march to the beat of their own drum.

'Dude! Have you heard this bloke who plays dustbin lids like drums and remakes famous rock songs with them? It's fucking awesome! His name is Xenophilius Lovegood. Has a new album out, The Rotfang Conspiracy.'

Hermione frowned at the pink haired Wiccan sat across from her. 'That's a terrible name.'

'It's not his best,' admitted her darling neighbor. 'But it's definitely not his worst. His last album cover was-' at which point she started to gurgle and make unintelligible sounds.

The brunette blinked. 'How does one go about spelling that?'

Tonks shrugged. 'Don't know. Doesn't matter. Names are metaphysical manifestations forced upon society to achieve a level of normalcy. Who and what a being is should be a natural realisation, not forced upon it the moment of its creation.'

Hermione hummed, wondering if that was her honest belief or the justification she used for renaming herself Nymphadora.

'More beverage?'

Hermione nodded, extending her cup as Tonks refilled it with more juice. 'Thanks.'

The witch nodded and moved towards her door when a knock rang out. The sound doing a number on her head. Thankfully, Tonks' home remedy was working it's miracle and lessened her pain, all while tasting delicious. The woman was a goddess and she loved her.

Her musical choices though were still an acquired taste.

As an artist herself, Tonks tended to like the abstract and strange. She saw beauty in things that others would deem as garbage and heard music in the most annoying of sounds.

Which also helped explain her love of pineapples on foods that ought not contain pineapples.

'Pizza's here,' she said, reaching for her purse as a rhythmic pounding began.

She turned towards the door and her eyes widened as the door opened to reveal a smiling Remus Lupin beside an excited but confused looking delivery boy. Both stood in front of an anxious looking wank of a bastard.

'Remus Lupin and Sirius Black,' greeted a smiling Tonks as she paid, 'Thank you for delivering to us our sustenance. We appreciate it.'

At which point she grabbed the pizza and shut the door on their face.

Laughter broke out behind the door as Hermione blinked. Completely unfazed, Tonks proceeded to open the pizza box and dug into her pineapple filled meal. Another knock rang out and the pink haired woman shut her eyes in exasperation.

'Why,' she groaned, 'Must heterosexual men be so vexing?'


A/N: Voldemort is a tea cup poodle, Harry is James' brother and Tonks is a pink haired Wiccan with a love for that which is strange.

I'm having fun :)

Seriously, there's a kind of freedom with AU fics that lets your mind run wild and free and I absolutely love it. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you all for reading and please review.

Erica x