Today's the day for soccer tryouts over at Smash High. The coach, Wispy Woods was blowing through the applications. Captain Falcon and Fox were first to come in. The got in easily thanks to their powerful kicks. Lucario plops in after them.

"Ey Aren't you suppose to be dead?" Whispy said

"eh idunno" Lucario responded. "I never really gave a shit about the continuity"

Of course, Lucario had a special ability where he would get better whenever the team was losing, so he got in.

Shulk was up next. He got in easily consider that he can see the fucking future.

Now enters our unlikely hero, Meta Knight. Meta Knight tried kicking the ball but couldn't. His reach wasn't as good as it used to be. Also he has no fucking legs.

"I hope you're not serious." said Whispy Woods, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Uhh, yeah?" said Meta Knight.

"Sackiroy didn't design you to play soccer, son! You ain't meant to play it." Whispy Woods responde d.
"But... it's my dream! It's been my dream since last Saturday!" replied Meta Knight, being brought to tears.

"Sorry man you're just shit, go home kid."

Meta Knight walked away, tears streaming down his face which you couldn't see because of his mask so pretend he wasn't crying.

He didn't want to give up on this. Or did he?

"I wanna go back home...back to Popstar", Meta Knight said with a voice full of somber and alcohol induced anger.

He pulled out his nifty phone from The Amazing Mirror game. He called up his parents and had them come to earth to pick him up. They came in their motor cycle ufo, making a loud noise which spooked a bunch of teenagers burning paper outside. "Holy shit record almost nothing of this!", one of them said.

Meta Knight and his parents were flying back to Popstar on their motor cycle ufo but as they were flying back to Popstar they almost got hit by a gigatic pink laser cause why not? It's just colors. Meta Knight looked out the window of the motor cycle ufo and it was none other than villiany itself. Galacta Knight, but he looked "upgraded" with a nice scouter on his left eye, one wing looked techno, his sword was a pink lightsaber and his right arm was torn off cause traveling in space is dangerous.

A solemn expression crossed the face of Meta Knight's father as his mother began sobbing uncontrollably. "No... no!" she sobbed.

"Maria, stay here. I'm going to take care of this." proclaimed Meta Knight Sr. as he stepped out of the airlock, drifting across the black canvas of space gently towards Galacta Knight. Meta Knight slowly watched in horror as a terrible battle ensued, sending bursts of energy and blood flying in a multitude of directions, his mother still sobbing.

"Mama...?" Meta Knight said softly, approaching his mother.

"No! Honey don't look!" shouted Maria as she leapt towards Meta Knight, shrouding his view from the vision of none other than his father exploding at the hand of Galacta Knight, his innards splattering across the windshield. Galacta Knight drifted to their ship. Blood coated the windshield, obstructing their view until Galacta Knight's lightsaber pierced the windshield, slicing it open.

"My boy..." Galacta Knight said. "...this peace is what all true warriors strive for", Galacta Knight continued.
Meta Knight suddenly had a flashback about his old days. He was powerful, the most powerful person in Smash High. He was named "OP" by his peers. Until one day. He was playing with Kirby, until a freak accident that lead to near death. Sakurai rushed on over to the ambulance, crying, then looked at Meta Knight.

"YOU ARE NO LONGERARU MY SONARU" Sakurai cried.

Sakurai pulled out his RING OF POWER, and absorbed all of his power. And that's how Meta Knight lost his power. He went into a life long of depression after that and soccer was his only redemption.
Galacta Knight looked at the blue marble and said, "I see you have troubles getting into soccer. I can help you with that"

Meta Knight agreed immediately. He waved goodbye to his mom before Galacta Knight took him to Mars. It was on the red planet that he trained to play soccer for a week. He didn't sleep much, but he had trained a bunch and he was finally ready. Galacta Knight was proud of him like a son.

Meta Knight triumphantly returned to Earth, meeting Whispy Woods who was still at the soccer tryouts, rooted into the ground because he was a fucking tree and couldn't move. Galacta Knight watched from afar, hoping for his new son to succeed.

"I'm ready Coach. I trained and I can play soccer now, I can play with the big boys."

Whispy Woods looked doubtful, but he was willing to give him a chance. "Hmm, I doubt that... but I'm willing to give you a chance."

Meta Knight tried kicking the soccer ball that was still there after all this time, but because the gravity on Mars was lower than it was here, his training didn't apply well and it was all for nothing.

"Stop wasting your time!" Whispy Woods screamed, reducing Meta Knight to tears again. "Please. It's for the best."
Meta Knight ran to Galacta Knight and hugged him.

"I didn't make it dade, I didn't make it."

Galacta Knight looked at Meta Knight and said "Son, I'm very dissapointed in you. I don't think you have the nutsack to get gud. Here I've been saving this for some time".

GK pulled out his handgun he had been saving for this moment. "This is the only gun on Popstar," GK said," and its the only way the two of us can escape our sorrow. After I die I want you to kill yourself aswell".

Meta Knight looked horrified. Galacta Knight put the gun to his head and blew his fucking brains out. Whispey vomitted all over the place gettin vom erry where. MK cried over the corpse of his father and looked at the gun. He knew he could never get gud so he took the gun and put it to his head and fired, but he missed. This was the moment when he realized he couldn't even kill himself right. He cried harder than ever. Meta Knight felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay ech. You don't need to cry ech", said a voice. Keta Knight turned around and it was none other than JonTron.

"Toughen up Meta Knight it'll all be okay!" Jontron said to the weeping MK as he wiped off his tears and glanced at Jontron's face. "Remember no crying! That's no good!" Jontron said as he waved his finger left and right like Sonic.

Too bad he's fucking dead. Meta Knight confessed "Jontron-san I...I...W..Will you help me..." Jontron thought about it for awhile and said "Ok MK but first! Give me a kiss. For good luck!"

So Meta Knight raised his mask and leaned towards Jontron and there lips met and it got more appropriate when they started licking each other. Wispy Woods vomitted so much that he smelled his vomit and died from suffocation.

The next day, Meta Knight was talking to his friend Robin. Robin was like "I dunno man, I heard Jontron called a random thing 'Retarded', I don't trust him and his lack of political correctness". Robin opened his locker, and grabbed a couple books from it, Chrom was behind them.

"Hey, uhh, Robin, can I get out of the locker now?" Chrom asked. "It's kinda cramped in here".

"Jesus Christ for the love of fuck, how many times do I have to tell you?" Robin answered. "You can't get out of the locker until I get the fucking Smash Ball."

So they continue walking.

The next day, Meta Knight was at soccer tryouts again. for the third time. The substitute coach, Flowery Woods, was eying Meta Knight closely. After a while, Meta Knight finally got in! Captain Falcon drove on by in his car and was like "ey let's go get drinks. But wait, the car isn't big enough to fit all of us"

"That's fine" Lucario said. "I'll just wallcling on the side of the car"

The next day, the team is at the prep room. Flowery Woods was like "Ok, here's what we're up against - PlayStation Allstars high, and bad news, Kratos is in"

Everyone gasped. Kratos was known as the best soccer player, nicknamed OP in his school. They had no hope. Meta Knight looked down, sulking in his nerfs.

Meta Knight dreamed of days gone by. He wanted his powers back. They would surely help him and his team defeat those Playstation jerks. Sakurai still had the RING OF POWER... Maybe? Nah, he couldn't. Could he? He might be able to! But could he pull it off? Hmm!

He up and left the prep room to find Kirby, who was creepily stood right outside staring at the ceiling.
"Brother! Just who I was looking for! You're Sakurai's favorite right? I need my powers back, can you get them for me?"

Kirby sucked Meta Knight up and absorbed his powers. If Meta Knight could, he would be crying because this is the second time this has happened. Kirby waddled into the Prep room, ready to play soccer. Nobody questioned why Meta Knight looked different.

As they were in the prep room Meta Knight kept trying to get his way out of Kirby's endless void that happens to be his stomach. The game was about to begin and everyone was ready to pummel these Playstation jerks in the ground. Flowery Woods has to talk to them from a floating TV cause tree's can't move this isn't pokemon. The first three up were "Meta Knight", Captain Falcon, and Fox up against Kratos, Jax, and Nathan. Kratos stared down Falcon but Falcon wouldn't let this prick scare him so the game started with a sound of a gun. MK's team had the ball until Nathan slid tackled Fox and didn't get a foul, Falcon was trying to distract Jax and Kratos was constantly making fun of "Meta Knight's" size.

Everything was prepped and ready to go. Meta Knight was getting scared as he was intimidated by the sony fags. He wondered if there was a way to cheat.

"Psst, hey buddy come here", said a creepy guy in an alley. He was tall and had a long trench coat on. He was standing but had a wobbly stance and looked like he had a bad sense of balance. "Wanna win today?," said the shady guy,"Well youre gonna need this: super steroids."

He held out a syringe and offered it to MK for 100 rupees. "It's a deal," MK said. He handed him the cash and ran away to inject himself with that shit. "Heh, sucker", said the man. He took off his trench coat revealing three midgets standing on each other. The whipped out their dicks and flung them like helicopters and flew away.

Meta Knight was looking over, 3 guys were crowding over to him. Kratos was there, aside from Raiden, with a boombox blasting "RULES OF NATURE" over and over again. I don't really remember who the fuck the third guy was. Kratos just straight up bullys Meta Knight. "YOU THINK YOU COULD STAND BY ME, THE GOD OF WAR? YOU BITCH ASS GOT. . .CHIMP."

Meta knight was crying, but then, sly cooper was behind him, because he had that invisibility shit instead of a guard, and ambushed him. Then, a spark came from Meta Knight's eye. He saw it, Sakkirus RING OF POWER, in his ring finger, will sitting next to superintendent Iwata. Meta Knight quickly snatched it, and wielded it. Now he was atleast the strength of atleast 5 meta knights.

Meta Knight had his powers back at last! He was still inside Kirby, so he couldn't use all of them, but he had them back. And he was hopped up on performance enhancing drugs, which only made him stronger. He fucking DESTROYED Sly Pooper. Kratos shat half a brick as Meta Knight ran at him and kicked him like a football. Kratos was never seen again, it was a Home Run. Whispy Woods would have been proud. He spared Raiden because he had good taste in music, so Raiden just went home. Everyone cheered for Meta Knight, and he was finally happy. Some kid asked for his autograph, and Meta Knight was happy to oblige!

Meta Knight signed his name in the book. The fan closed the book and it turns out to be the Death Note! And the fan turned out to be Sakurai! Sakphoria took back his RING OF POWER, saying "NOARU ONEDESU TAKES MY RINGSENPAI" and walks away.

Raiden went over to Flowery Woods and was like "Why do you only have baseball and soccer at your school? Why not football?"

Flowery Woods responded with "there's no football in the item select"

end