Maura walked into her home welcomed by the wonderful smell of Italian food. She walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the kitchen counter watching as Tommy stirred the peppers in the pan.
"Hey babe, how is your sister?" He walked over to her placing a light kiss on her cheek.
"She's doing as well as anyone in her condition can do. I just wish there was something I can do, but all we can do is wait."
Thinking about her sister Maura immediately grew somber. Naturally her mind wondered back to Jane and how grateful she was for the detective being there in her time of need. During her restless night of very little sleep she was troubled by the one question she's wanted to ask Tommy since the two started dating.
"Tommy, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, anything."
"Just don't get upset, ok?" She sighed trying to steady her rapidly beating heart.
"If Jane had never found out, would you have told her?" he stopped stirring the spoon for a moment obviously caught off guard by the question.
"No…but I know you would've"
"What do you mean when you say I would've told her?"
"Maura, you're a good person and I know it was killing you inside to be keeping a secret of that magnitude from her"
Maura sighed deeply as she ran her fingers across the counter, "it was killing me. I still don't know why I did that I was so out of it." At the prolonged silence she looked up and saw that Tommy was starring angrily at her.
"Why are you bringing this up?" Maura was quite frightened by this side of Tommy that she had never seen before; well besides the time she told him that she was dating Jane. His eyes were dark, nearly black.
"We never talk about that night."
"I don't see the need." He seethed.
"Well although it may have been the start of our relationship, it ended my marriage. " Tommy threw the spoon his hand causing Maura to jump at the loud bang of it hitting the wall. She stood up, now beginning to fear for her
"Dammit, Maura do you not want me, huh? Am I not good enough? "
Maura, eyes widened with terror as she shook her head, "No that's not true."
"Then why bring it up?" he asks turning back to the food cooking on the stove. Picking up a new spoon from the drawer next to him.
Maura, obviously frightened, thought about her next words carefully. "I tried not to think about, but recently with everything going on I can't help but wonder back to that night. I was really intoxicated and I wasn't myself… I still don't remember even saying yes."
Tommy angry all again, slammed the new spoon onto the counter rattling the pans.
"What are saying huh, that I raped you?"
"I'm not saying that at all."
"Because I didn't. What we did that night was too beautiful to be compared with something as ugly as rape. I didn't beat you up or hold a gun to your head…you know what, fuck this. I'm going to bed."
Maura watched him walk into the bedroom jumping at the loud slam of the door. She walked over to the stove and turned off the burner. She didn't mean to insight such anger in the younger Rizzoli. Sighing she walked into the bedroom where Tommy lay on the bed facing the wall.
She crept onto the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder which he quickly shrugged off. She pulled her hand back as if the contact burned her skin.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you feel bad." She whispered
Tommy turned over to face the doctor.
"Maura, I know that you're marriage ended but I've endured a lot too. I love you and I just wish you would show me some sort of appreciation. "
"I do appreciate you." Tommy sat up, a coy smirk forming. Maura's heart sank at what she knew he had in mind.
"Well then you can show me how much you appreciate me." He wrapped his arms around Maura pulling her down onto the bed, causing her to shriek in surprise.
"What are you doing?" she questioned, but was silenced by his lips covering her. His greedily forced his tongue down her throat and she had no choice but to open her mouth and allow him to do what he wanted. She wounded his ego and she knew by not reacting to his kiss he would only get angrier.
"Don't worry; I'll make sure you're more than satisfied." He smiled darkly reaching down roughly and pulling at her underwear, the loud rip echoing throughout the room. He unzipped his pants quickly smiling down at her eagerly. She didn't feel aroused at all and in a few minutes Tommy would notice too.
'Ok Maura, try and think of someone sexy. Yeah, someone that turns you on.' Maura closed her eyes, sighing deeply as she tried to cultivate a fantasy to spark arousal.
She watched as the brunette retreated from the shower and walked over to the bed, toned muscle and abs glistening still glistening with water from the shower. Maura recognized the woman but a name wasn't coming to mind. Maura sat up on the bed, leaning on her elbows for support as she watched as she approached the bed. It was almost as if she was watching her walk in slow motion and the anticipation was killing the doctor. Maura reached out, fingers slipping around the woman's waist, tugging her onto the bed and on top of the blonde. The brunette leaned down and brushed her lips against Maura's cheek, then her lips. Maura, still feeling a sense of familiarity couldn't name the woman in her fantasy and only when the mystery brunette spoke was she able to recall the name.
"Maura, I've missed you…"
It was Jane….
Maura opened her eyes abruptly, looking up at Tommy whose eyes were closed and his face was filled with pleasure as he continued to thrust into her. Maura's heart beat sped up at the thought of fantasizing about her ex wife. It was wrong, especially because of the fact that she was currently having sex with the detective's brother. However, she was too aroused to stop, so she closed her eyes and continued her fantasy.
She looked around the room realizing that it was their wedding night. The first night they made love as a married couple. Jane worked her hands into the lace of Maura's panties feeling slick wetness covering her fingers. Maura was moaning now, bucking against Jane's hand as the brunette rubbed her thumb against Maura's clit, and Jane looked down at her wife, smiling at the way the blonde's body reacted, clenching around her fingers in mindless need.
"That's right, scream for me."
Maura's moans turned into one long, insistent sigh of delight as her orgasm approached.
"Cum for me Mrs. Rizzoli." Hearing Jane's raspy voice, thick with need was all Maura needed to bring her to her peak.
The second wave of Maura's climax brought red sheets of silk and she bit her lower lip trying not to call out Jane's name, bruising the tender flesh. "Oh my God " she cried. Her fingers curled into the blanket and she felt as if she were hitting the rocky shores of a great ocean. Her body convulsed as she came until finally her breathing held and her body stiffened. "Fuck" she yelled and stilled. Tommy who followed not long after collapsed next to her exhausted with a cocky smile on his face.
"I've never had a woman scream as loud as you did."
'It wasn't for you.' she thought guiltily. She pulled the cover over her body, hugging it to her chest as she turned onto her side, pretending to fall asleep. She waited until she heard Tommy's light snore before slowly creeping out of the bed and dressing herself once again. In need of someone to talk to, she pulled on her coat and stepped out into the brisk December air. She walked over to the guest house pulling her coat around her tightly. She knocked rapidly, wanting to get out of the cold. After a few minutes a light came on and the door opened.
"Maura? Is something wrong?" Angela asked concerned that the doctor was at her door so late.
"No, nothing's wrong, I just needed someone to talk to." Angela invited her in and told her to sit in the kitchen while she made coffee.
Maura took a seat in the kitchen and waited while Angela brewed coffee. As she waited she tried to think of how to bring up the subject. Angela walked over to where the doctor sat holding two mugs.
"Thanks" she said while accepting the hot cup of coffee from Angela.
"So tell me what's wrong."
"I'm going to break up with Tommy." Maura blurted out.
Angela not seeming the slightest bit surprised continued to sip at her drink. "Why?"
Maura opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Angela, seeing the difficult time she was having placed a reassuring hand on the doctor's arm.
"I won't judge you. Now tell me the real reason why you want to end things with my son."
Maura looked at the older women skeptical of whether or not she should reveal her real reasons. After a few minutes of serious contemplation she decided not to reveal everything.
"Because I don't love him. And honestly, I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with him… What should I do?"
"You know I would never choose between my children."
Maura looked down at her glass solemnly, "I know."
"I still don't understand why you just didn't tell her."
"I planned too, I swear, but then Kayleen convinced me not to. She said, if I didn't plan on doing it ever again, why should I ruin my marriage over it? And I didn't plan on ever sleeping with him again so I decided not to tell her. I never thought that Tommy would be selfish enough to continue to pursue me after the wedding...all of this and I ruined our marriage anyway."
Angela remained quiet, as if she was thinking about her next question.
"Why did you sign the divorce papers?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you give up? Why didn't you fight for Jane?"
"I wasn't going to sign them at first. I was going to fight for my marriage but seeing such a strong women like Jane break down and cry over the pain I caused made me realize that nothing I did would ever make her forget that I was the reason for breaking her heart…"
"But why date Tommy afterwards?"
"Angela, I'm a 35 year old divorced women with a 2 year old son and my ex wife is a cop. Not many people, man or woman, are willing to take on a lover with that much baggage. Tommy… he's a good man… and he loves me."
"Do you love him?"
"No…" Angela wanted to ask her a follow up question but decided against it because something in her already knew the answer.
Neither women spoke afterwards and allowed themselves to sit in a comfortable silence. Maura took another sip of her hot beverage and turned to look out the window as snow begins to fall.
