Okay, I might have accidently lied a little about a happy chapter... TT_TT
I was talking with my friend and this topic came up and I got so upset about it I was crying and writing and obviously it got edited and posted. I am not saying the chapter will make you cry. I was just thinking about the topic and I got really upset about it. So anyway... Yeah.
So this is another "two-part" and the following chapter is the second part of it.
Also! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to those of you who have been submitting ideas to me! I can't believe how many of my readers actually are requesting events in history! It makes me really happy that you guys are actually liking the way I type the events up well enough to trust that I won't butcher one you want to read. ^_^
Hope you enjoy and after these two I am going to do my best to get a happy moment, but history has very few of them... Why can't history be happier?
Forever and Sometimes
I hate him.
I will hate him forever.
Forever until the day I die.
This barrier may not last forever—after all, every man-made construct decays or is destroyed eventually—but my hate for that thing will always remain. Forever.
The war is over. I surrendered, yet he… that… that… monster tortures me still. Worse than his bitter cold ever could.
This barrier, this torture device, this wall that he constructed separates me from mein bruder. They all say that it was the East German government who did it, but I know that he did it to spite me. Somehow he was behind its construction. I know it. The wall's purpose is to separate me from the one whom practically raised me. To make me crazy worrying for him. Worrying for the same person who would panic were I out of sight for more than a few minutes when I was younger.
What is mein bruder doing now? I hope he does not worry for me. I am not the one who needs worrying…. He does. It does not matter how 'awesome' he thinks he is; what he has been enclosed with on the other side of that wall is a worse creature than a rabid wolf.
Sometimes…. Sometimes I go to the wall and sit there, listening.
Sometimes for minutes, but more often for hours.
Sometimes… I hear screaming, and I am certain that I recognize that voice…
And sometimes I convince myself that I am only hearing things.
Regardless, I know the abomination that currently… owns mein bruder is not, cannot be, kind to him. It is not within the beast's nature to be kind. He does not even know the meaning of the word.
Yet… This in itself is irony. For all I have done, for all I now regret, for all that some part of me—the sane part, the humane part—regretted even as it was happening, can I claim to understand kindness? Should not I be the one punished? Should it not be myself on the other side of that wall and mein bruder free? Was what they already had done to him not enough?
But I cannot change what has happened or what is happening now, so I merely go sometimes, more and more often if I am honest with myself, to stand by the wall, and once there… I pray.
I pray for his safety.
Pray that people will realize how wrong this forced separation is.
Pray for this wall to be demolished.
Pray for his safe return.
Pray that he can recover from what he has surely suffered.
At this point in time, prayer is really all I can do to help mein bruder… to help Gilbert. As much as this thought hurts, time and prayer is all that can help him until the day that we meet again.
For the other side of the wall, go to the next chapter.
Thanks for reading and I would love to get feedback as always.
~Kanae~
