Tiny refresher – S3E8 of OITNB was centred on Alex and the problems she experienced after the death of her mom and Piper walking out. I felt as though this chapter should follow along the same sort of lines, and explore Alex's mentality during this time. Prepare for some angst – but I promise, light will follow the darkness. It always does.

Chapter 7 (Episode 8)

The room was silent as Healy regarded Piper – she shifted in her chair, her gaze not faltering from his. The early-morning sun shone in through the window, although it was barely 10am, the day was set to be a scorcher, just like it had been for the past two weeks. It was the height of summer, but Piper's heart remained in the icy depths of winter.

"…Chapman, I'm starting to think you might benefit from a visit to psych." Healy rose from his desk, his stomach protruding over his trousers as he drew himself up to his full, albeit, rather disappointing, height.

"Healy. I am not crazy. I mean holy fucking shit, what kind of prison are you running here where you don't even know what kind of people you're hiring?" Piper's face contorted. "You're taking in strangers and recruiting them off of the streets."

"It has nothing to do with me, for the last time." His impatience was always revealed by the appearance of his top-set of teeth - due to his thinning top lip, which continued to curl upwards. "I'm sick of seeing you. I checked the records. Litchfield hasn't hired anyone by the name of Aydin Sadik."

"Of course he wouldn't use that as his name! He's part of the drug ring that I - - was involved in. I saw him, sir. I am not lying. I am not insane."

"As you've repeatedly told me, inmate, however, I don't think you're a great judge of your own sanity at the moment. Chapman, have you even looked in the mirror lately?"

"The fuck does this have to do with my appearance?" Piper spat.

"You've lost a lot of weight. The heavy bags under your eyes indicate that you haven't had a good night's sleep in a while. Not to mention your hair could do with a –"

"Fuck you!" Piper felt her cheeks sting.

"I'll choose to ignore that, inmate." He sat on the edge of his desk, so that he his knee was touching the tips of her fingers. "My point is, you're not looking after yourself. If you aren't eating or sleeping, then you can't be in your right mind – can you? Now go and sort yourself out and stop badgering me."

She snatched her fingers away. "There's a fucking murderer on the loose!"

"Leave now." He said shortly, rising again to further emphasise her imminent departure.

Piper forced her fingers through her hair, not even caring how easily the tips of them slid through her unwashed locks. She kicked the chair leg, and gave Healy a look that was the equivalent of giving the finger. Why she kept coming to him she didn't know. He wouldn't listen to her – yet she had to feel like she was doing something.

She skulked down the corridor, her strides lengthening as she walked, she was late for her assignment again. Only, she couldn't stop herself from checking every corner of every room as well as up and down the staircases for Aydin.

She had seen him, she knew that she had – and fuck Healy for making her feel nuts.

It had been five days since she had seen him standing there chewing on a swizzle stick – in that way that slowly unhinged her. She saw him in a flash and then he'd vanished like a ghost.

Eventually she reached the Whispers workroom. Piper scanned the room, and saw Nicky studiously ignoring Stella. The other inmates focused their attentions on their sewing machines, working almost in an oblivious unison, a gentle hum of the machines clicking filled the room with a strange melody. She sat down and immediately got to work – channelling all of her frustration into weaving the thin thread between the cheap satin. It was rather therapeutic, watching the stitches go above and below, like a dolphin gliding along choppy waves. The faster she did it – the calmer she became.

"Chapman – jeez, slow the fuck down. You alright?" Nikki nudged her, an usual look of concern gracing her pale features.

"No I'm not. That fucker still won't listen to me." Piper had related the events to the younger woman on the very night that they unfolded. In shock, Nikki had listened patiently – while muttering the odd obscenity under her breath, and did not for one second doubt Piper. The blonde had been surprised and secretly thrilled by this, despite the fear she was experiencing – it was good to have a friend in here that fought her corner no matter what. There was so much more to Nichols than met the eye. Nichols was almost as good at lending an ear as lending a hand – if need be.

"What do you expect? Stop going to him. Just let Red work her Russian magic."

"Don't you understand?" Piper snapped impatiently - before instantly regretting it when Nichol's tried to hide her wounded expression. Nevertheless she continued. "This changes everything. Alex wasn't being paranoid. I put her in danger. Kubra knows where she is. I think Aydin has taken advantage of Litchfield's joke of a hiring system and wormed himself in somehow." She looked around the room, and up at the ceiling before meeting her friend's eyes once again. "He's going to kill her, Nichols."

"Hold on. Calm down. Fuck." Piper could tell that Nichols was considering this properly for the first time. Her eyes widened. "What if this Kubra guy just wanted to, I don't know - send a warning?"

"You don't understand, Nichols. He doesn't just send a warning – you cross him, you die. That's the way it works with drug-lords like him. I should have listened to her. I made her feel stupid."

"You can't turn back time now. Jesus fuck, Chapman. He's hardcore, huh?" Nikki stopped sewing and chewed on a raw piece of skin on the edge of her thumb. "Either way, surely he can't get into SHU? Even if he can – there's nothing you can do." Piper wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, "Let's just carry on with this little thing we got going here and let's focus on getting her out of there, alright?"

"I don't know how to deal with this." Piper raised her eyes heaven-ward. "I feel so helpless."

The worst thing was that she'd made Alex feel like an idiot. Like she was imagining things. She'd brushed her girlfriend's worries under the carpet like they didn't matter. And it turned out she was right.

What had given her the audacity to ignore her? She had put her in here in the first place, and now it was real. She was in real danger. Everything people said about Piper was true. She understood now. She'd been called selfish her whole life but had never truly realised it until now. She was a selfish, self-centred bitch. She was a spoilt brat who had gotten exactly what she wanted.

Would it be at the cost of Alex's life?

Stupid, stupid, senseless.

"Do you ever stop moaning, blondie?" Piper's looked up wearily at that familiar Australian accent. She felt her insides seize up.

"Do you ever stop being so fucking nosey?" Nikki snapped.

"Listen, Stella." Piper said through gritted teeth. "You got what you wanted. Where is the logic behind you continuing to torment me?"

"I know – I know, it's cruel." Stella replied, biting her lower lip. "But, it's so damn fun. I can't help but think about how lonely you must be with that legendary girlfriend of yours in SHU. I could help keep your pussy wet, only while she's away of course."

"Back off." Piper said quietly with a razor sharp edge to her voice. She's wasn't sure that she had the strength to keep her anger at bay.

"I would, only, you're too damn hot to stay away from." Stella gave the two women one of her dazzling grins.

Slowly, Piper turned her head to the corner where the guards stood, both were immersed in conversation and were laughing to themselves. Newbies. She stood up, the edges of her vision blurred with iron-hot fury.

With Alex at the forefront of her mind, she barely had to energy to think about Aydin – let alone this cunt who couldn't stop playing the playground bully.

With Nikki and Stella locked in a stare-off, neither noticed that Piper had risen herself to full height. "Fuck off."

"Mmm... no, I think that I'll stay, thanks." Piper knew that this was exactly what the brunette wanted, to push her buttons – and sadly she could do nothing but comply. She lacked the necessary control of her emotions, with the slightest of pushes she would tumble over the edge. All she felt, saw and breathed was pain and fear. Anger was a welcome visitor.

"Stand the fuck down, Chapman." Nikki said pleadingly, pulling on the blonde's arm.

Piper snatched it away. "Fine, fine. She's not fucking worth it." With great effort, she managed to place her backside firmly back in the chair.

"There's a good dog." Stella smirked. "Now that you mention it - I do recall seeing your girlfriend dragged off to SHU, actually." She laughed then, a humorous tinkle that echoed throughout the room, "I might have given Bell the heads up that Vause was up to something shifty."

"You did what?"

"She's lying." Nichols said.

"Why would I do that?" Stella continued. "I had just returned from SHU myself. I shared that bunk with her, I guess you failed to notice me, Pipes."

Piper did nothing but stare as the other woman continued to speak, she could feel Nikki's eyes shifting from her to the brunette. Her muscles were frozen in place.


"That's right. I listened to her. Every. Single. Fucking. Night. Crying into her pillow. When she did fall asleep, she'd wake up from a nightmare howling 'this isn't my gun, please don't take me back there' or the other classic 'Piper, no.' Pathetic really. She talked a big game, but she was just a wounded little puppy." Oddly enough, it looked as though Stella was enjoying this little monologue and the attention of her less-than willing audience. "Maybe if she had looked more like you, blondie, I wouldn't have ratted her out, but, I've always had a soft spot for you blondes. That night I was already awake when she got up so quietly and carefully - that I knew she was up to something. So yeah, I told Bell. I've slept blissfully every night since Vause got shipped off."

Piper couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her fingers body started to tremble as she digested this new information. The whole reason Alex was in there was because of Stella? And this… bitch, still had the nerve to blackmail her? Piper was on her feet again. "You poisonous cunt!" She felt a small pair of hands close around her upper arms in an attempt to pull her back. Piper raised her fist, wanting so badly to let it collide with the brunette's smug features.

This time the hands behind her were firmer, and stronger – she felt herself being pulled back. "Chapman." Nikki said into her ear. "Please don't get yourself locked in SHU, too. You're the only way Vause has a chance of getting out of there."

Piper turned to Nichols, shaking fingers curled into fists at her side and looked into the shorter woman's eyes that were uncharacteristically glazed with desperation.

"Please." Her friend persisted. "Piper. Fuck. Don't lose it, not now – if you go to SHU, there's no helping either of you." The two friends held each other's gaze with what felt like an alarmingly long time. Piper's jaw clenched and she reluctantly sat down again and averted her gaze from Stella. Pure venom coursing through her veins, it took all of her will and all of her strength to stop herself from hurting the other woman. Stella was the reason Alex was there for no other reason than the brunette not getting her beauty sleep. She was manipulative and evil – her blatantly cold heart contorted her beautiful features into something very ugly indeed.


The days for Alex – by now, were mostly blurring into one – but somehow she knew that today was the day. Nine years since her mother died – that was what separated today from the other days. Today had a special, new edition, brand of darkness. Today she was reminded of what her life could have been like if her mom were alive. Maybe it wouldn't be any different, maybe nothing would change – but her mom would be living, breathing. She would be there. Alex could feel the weight of Diane's disappointment, her only daughter in prison.

Alex hadn't had the mental freedom to think about this fully for a very long time, not since Kubra sent Alex to rehab. She closed her eyes and felt like she was transported back there.

The past few weeks had made Alex feel as though she was locked in a nightmare. The phrase 'rehab' had made her picture herself reclining by a pool, a book lazily slung next to her as she sipped on an alcohol-free cocktail. In all honesty, she had imagined it would be a bit like a vacation, to take some time away from the vortex of oblivion that was now her life. It was the complete opposite, without the heroin in her system, she had nothing to block out the pain. Soon the world would be waking up around her – she curled up in her bed and felt grateful for a few more hours of darkness.

She thought back to the first night that she arrived in rehab. She'd managed to give herself one last 'bump' a few days before, but had had no drugs in her system since. She told herself she would be okay. That she would be fine without the drugs coursing through her veins.

The very first night she arrived there was when the withdrawal symptoms really started to kick in. She felt like she was going to die. Death on that night would have been a small mercy. She was shown to a basic bedroom by the staff and – thanks to Kubra, she had her own bathroom – at the very least. There was no pleasure in the fact that she could retch to her heart's content in her own company. That night was the first night that she hadn't had something to take the edge off in a long time. She'd been high for so long that she had so far to fall. Her temperature had soared through the roof, she'd stumbled into the bathroom with her hair sticking to her forehead – the world around her blurred with the edges of pain. Her stomach had seized and seized, leaving her howling in sheer agony on the floor – occasionally rising to throw up the contents of her empty stomach. She could not recall ever feeling so low – it was as though all of the light had been drained from the world, and she was left in the darkness, alone.

She had no one.

The weeks that followed were horrendous, they were dark, empty days filled with memories Alex longed to suppress. She avoided contact with the other people at the rehab, too tired and worn out by her own troubles and grief. She was trapped in a triangle of grief, the death of her mother, the loss of Piper and the death of Fahri. Her mind would flit between the three in an exhausting cycle.

Alex thought about her mother and how she should have been there for her more. Diane had been the one constant in her rollercoaster of a life and she had let her down. She died with her only daughter hundreds of miles away, not knowing how much Alex loved her. Now Alex woke up every dark morning realising that she would never see her mother's face again, she would never again see her smile – or be held by the one person who made her feel safe - in the way that made her feel not so alone in the world. She was dead. There was no heaven and there was no hell and she was dead. Her mom was gone. She didn't want to visit her mother's grave because she wasn't there. That wasn't Diane in the ground, her love, her life, her spirit – did not lay beneath that gravestone. She lived now solely in Alex's broken heart, but Alex didn't want her there. It hurt too much. She loved someone who was no longer alive – what was the point? She was dead!

In the past few months, whenever she had thought about her mom – she'd taken heroin. The heroin made her feel like she was numb, but alive – everything was magical and electric. The world was vivid, she felt like she saw everything around her in full spectrum, she was getting high in a way that allowed her to see the true beauty of the world, a world where grief didn't exist. When she was high, her mom was still dead – but she felt as though she had a purpose to do everything for her mother. For her memory. In Paris she'd dance the night away with Fahri – telling herself that she was living life to the full for Diane. With heroin, she felt nothing but joy – her thoughts became lazy and sluggish. The high would make her soar above the clouds, it took her somewhere where her heart wasn't broken. Until, inevitably, it ebbed away and she was left with nothing again.

Then she and Fahri would do it all over again.

Fahri. He was dead now, too. There was a certain finality in her mind when she thought about it. She'd seen him die. Although, his death had been instant. She'd seen him dead. There was no holding him in her arms and watching the light slowly vanishing from his eyes. It all happened so quickly, that she could barely comprehend it until afterwards. Aydin had killed him. He was supposed to be his friend and he murdered him. She remembered the shock she felt, just merely seconds ago she had been – talking and laughing, with her associate and friend, he was all she had after Diane died and Piper walked away – and the next his existence was obliterated. Gone. He was nothing anymore. Just like that he ceased to exist. In a fraction of a second, he'd gone from being her friend to being a ghost.

Shock had rendered her into a statue. Until Aydin pulled that gun on her, and suddenly she was terrified. She suddenly wanted to fight for this life that she had no idea she had even wanted. For some fucked up reason, she wanted to keep her heart beating – she possessed a survival instinct that she didn't want. But nevertheless had. She had no reason to live, and plenty to die, but she'd be damned if she went like this.

As Kubra stood over her, she craved a life better than this one. Everything that led her there, to the very chair she was sitting in – playing through her mind in one big loop. As strong as she believed herself to be, at that very moment she was nothing. The gap between life and death was no longer her choice. She didn't want to die. She was afraid. So afraid that she felt as though she had left her body and was looking down at herself. She could practically watch her own her shifty eyes and shaking fingers, shrinking as with Kubra leant over her like the Grim Reaper. She was not just vulnerable, but defenceless – her fight, her fierceness was nothing in comparison to three armed men.

Somehow – she had survived. She was given a second chance. The relief wrapped around her like a warm blanket when Kubra told he that he was sending her to her hometown - to stay in rehab. Rehab. She could do that. Then she'd go back to how things were. Life before Piper.

It was so easy, when she thought of it like that, but getting over heroin was harder than anything she ever had had to do in her whole life. She had to deal with all over the things she had been blocking out when she'd been getting high. She hadn't been mourning – but now, she had ample time to grieve.

How she yearned for that numbness that came with getting high – for everything around her to become suspended and fuzzy. However, she had to get clean. She had to face that unbearable sadness and heartbreak. It was get clean or die, either from the drugs or at the hands of Kubra himself.

At the very heart of the pain, was the one thing she tried to push away the most – because this person wasn't dead – she had left her of her own free will. Piper had walked away. The love of her life had left because she couldn't handle who she really was. The blonde's absence hurt more and more each slow-moving day. That moment that she'd walked out the door, she'd taken Alex's heart with her. Alex was so fucking angry, and more hurt than she could fathom into words. It felt as though she had swallowed knives, slicing their way down her chest, cutting her so deeply that she could barely breathe with the pain. Every time she took a breath it pained her. She had poured so much of her love and happiness into Piper - that when she walked away she was left with nothing but the darkness that overwhelmed her.

Ever so slowly, her full, bursting heart gradually broke apart, fraction by fraction – piece by piece. Every memory they shared, every smile, laugh – had been tainted. It rendered everything meaningless and dead. She ached for someone to take the pain away. Her mother was dead. Fahri was dead and Piper had walked away when she needed her most. As much as she poured every single ounce of her hatred into Piper, she still fucking loved her. Loved her with a ferocity that now left her drained. Her lover, her best friend – couldn't handle the life she led.

Part of Alex hated her, but then part of Alex didn't blame her. This stupid fucking love thing, forced her to see things from a different perspective. She understood how unpredictable life with her could be, and she was putting Piper in danger. She had been making Piper a part of this world that she fought so strongly to stay away from.

Piper was an ordinary person before all of this – and Alex had put her in the firing line. She couldn't handle it anymore so she left. She left her. Alex felt as though she'd never want to know love again. Love was cruel. Every kind of it. You lost everything you loved, in the end.

"Up, Vause! You're on breakfast duty this morning." She heard a voice shout from behind the closed door.

"Fuck." Alex groaned. Within the rehab, they took in it turns to cook and clean for each other. It was something about teaching responsibility or... whatever. She felt dazed when she pulled herself up out of bed, she had been so deep in her own thoughts that it was difficult to shake herself out of them.

Half an hour later, she was washing the dishes in the little kitchen – the smell of eggs and the clanking of plates echoing around her. The thoughts in her head were still ticking over as she scrubbed and scrubbed. This was the first day that she didn't soak the dishes with her own tears – today, she felt like they weren't clean enough.

"C'mon, Vause – I need some clean plates." Helen the sixty-year old alchoholic said. It was her fifth time here.

"In a fucking minute." Alex said through gritted teeth.

Wisely, Helen didn't respond but continued scrambling the eggs.

Piper kept pulsing through her mind, her beautiful eyes – flaxen hair, the postcoital smile that bewitched her face as they lay on opposing pillows, gazing into one another's eyes.

That last look in her eyes when she walked out of the door.

She'd never see her again.

Alex's heart twisted. She wasn't coming back. She had nothing. Piper had said she'd loved her – but she'd made it look so easy when she walked away.

Bitch. That stupid bitch. Fuck her.

Piper had probably never loved her. If you loved someone, you didn't leave them, right? The hurt, the grief and the loss – blurred into a ball of seething rage. Alex flexed her knuckles. Fuck. She could no longer control herself as the anger surged through her body like a tidal wave.

"AHHH!" She snarled like an animal and threw the plate she was holding against the wall. She repeatedly wailed as she grabbed dish after dish and watched them explode into pieces – until there was nothing left. Scattered pieces. Broken pieces.


Piper tossed and turned in her bed – unable to sleep, and not for the first time. Red slept soundly opposite her. Only an hour ago, Piper had given her the latest stash of panties she managed to transport, in return told her about how things were going with Healy. She told her that they had shared a moment – Red was now back in the kitchen, miraculously. Red and Healy had argued because Healy felt used – as though Russian had only shown a fleeting interest in him simply to resume her rightful place back in the kitchen. Which she had, of course. He didn't have to know that. Then, she told Piper, she had made Healy a piece of pie – and left it in his office for him to find. Later that day Red and Healy had met in the hallway, and shared a kiss. Operation Free Vause was in full swing.

She told Piper it was like kissing a hungry dog.

Red had got what she wanted. She had got her kitchen back, but she was continuing this thing with Healy for her. To get Vause back. The fact that Red was back in the kitchen was proof enough that Red had powerful persuasion techniques. Yet Piper still couldn't close her eyes – afraid that if she opened them, Aydin would be leaning over her.

She could hear some of the inmates discussing the latest chapter of 'The Time Hump Chronicles,' Crazy Eyes had caused quite the stir with it. From what Piper gathered, it what a startling piece about aliens and some sort of space sex. She heard some raised voices arguing over whether Edwina and Rockin' Rodcocker should end up together.

She smiled to herself and imagined Alex reading it. The idea seemed so far away. Alex seemed so far away. It had been three long weeks since she'd last seen her. She was well aware that the more time that passed was another day with Alex in SHU. The thought of her in there was more painful now than ever.

Piper's own first stay in SHU had been rather short – but in those hours she was in there, she had never felt more isolated. She had been talking into a vent for God's sake. She wasn't even sure that she hadn't imagined the voice she heard. Her second stay in solitary confinement had been worse. It was after her 'run in' with Pennsatucky and she had earned herself a long stay before her trial. It had gotten to the point where she'd collaged her food on to the walls.

Alex was made of stronger stuff that her, she was sure of it – but being locked in a room by yourself for long stretches of time was enough to weaken the strongest of souls. Piper didn't want Alex to feel as though she had abandoned her - that she was just carrying on with her little prison life so easily without her. That couldn't be further from the truth. She had loved and lost Alex so many times, so many heart wrenching times – mostly because of her own pathetic stupidity and selfishness. Maybe she had been afraid - because she loved her too much and that frightened her. Maybe she'd chosen Larry over Alex that first time because she chose stability over a passion, a dream over what was real.

Alex was real.

Alex was what was completed her. Perhaps in the past, she chose to walk away because when she actually admitted it to herself, her love for the older woman was so consuming, that she was terrified of it swallowing her whole. She wasn't yet ready to surrender every inch of herself because if they broke up – she'd be an empty shell.

Now, she was ready and willing to give herself entirely to her. Despite the past, despite their mistakes, they had wasted enough time being young and stupid. She didn't know what kind of life they'd have together, but she knew that she wanted one with her. No one else.

She would never walk away from Alex again. Her heart lurched when she thought about that last time - she closed her eyes to try and block out the guilt. Somehow, she fell into a troubled sleep and dreamt of the woman that occupied her thoughts. Her dream – it transpired, was a memory.


Piper was still awake – impatiently awaiting the arrival of her new girlfriend. She was worried that she wouldn't come back at all, and jumped in the darkness every time that she heard a noise – hoping that it would be the lock turning. She had tried to sleep, but ever since Alex had been gone she felt uneasy – not yet used to the ups and downs of Alex's job as a… drug dealer. She told herself she was okay with it, and mostly she was, because all she saw was Alex leaving and arriving home - with a full bank account. She didn't really think about it in real life terms.

Tonight was the first time that Alex had said she'd be home late, and Piper was anxious. She'd been gone since the early hours. Finally, at around 3am she heard the lock turn and she opened her eyes. She must have drifted off for a moment. She smiled to herself as she heard Alex creeping around, all of the earlier anxiety and worry washed away with the sweet sense of relief. She listened as Alex went into the bathroom and came back out, and she suspected, removed the vast quantity of her clothing.

She felt Alex footsteps move closer – she heard her breathing over her, before she climbed into bed beside her.

"Alex?" Piper whispered.

"Fuck-" Alex exclaimed in surprise. "You're awake." Her breathing sped up. "Come here, babe."

Piper grinned in the darkness and snuggled closer to the brunette, inhaling her scent – her heart lighting up in her chest.

Alex sat up and switched on the bedside lamp, causing the younger woman to squint at the brightness. "No Pipes, closer."

"I can't get much closer, Al." Piper laughed sleepily.

Alex rested her head against the headboard, glasses on top of her head. She had taken her make up off, her translucent skin was almost ghostly in the light, despite her emerald eyes being narrow with exhaustion - they still glimmered down warmly at her lover. "You can." Alex said huskily. She patted her lap – and wordlessly, Piper sat up, her hair a messy halo around her head and swung one leg over Alex, pressing her centre against hers as she folded her legs together behind Alex's back.

Noses almost touching, their eyes finally met – a forest meeting a river in the moonlight. Alex kissed Piper gently, nudging the blonde's lips open with her own lower lip, and slowly allowed her tongue to enter the younger woman's mouth – they kissed like they were trying not to break one another, hands running softly over each other's bodies.

Alex moved her hand to her girlfriend's face, running her thumb along the softness of her cheek and as they broke apart, she nuzzled her nose against Piper's. "Hey."

"Hey." The corner of Piper's lips rose like a beautiful sunrise. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She pushed the blonde's hair gently behind her ears. "Too much."

"Why are you back so late?" Piper didn't mean to sound clingy, but she believed she had a right to know her girlfriends whereabouts.

"Fahri took us to the wrong fucking airport. Luckily Kubra wasn't too pissed – but he gave us an earful."

"I'll bet." Piper said, as though she knew all about it.

"Were you waiting up, babe?"

"No. Well, I tried not to. I was just… concerned. You have a dangerous job. I guess I just wanted to see you before I fell asleep. So I knew you were safe."

Alex's eyes clouded briefly. "Don't worry about me, Pipes." She trailed her mouth gently along Piper's jaw until she found her lips again. "I'll always come home."

"I know. You know me, Al. I can't help but worry. Who's gonna buy me breakfast?" She smirked.

"Fuck off." The brunette laughed. "You – " she stopped, and looked down – her long eyelashes brushing against her cheeks, "you were all I could think about, funnily enough. The thought of coming back to you was almost enough to make me beg Fahri to drop me off half-way through. What have you turned me into?" Her sigh wasn't a wistful one.

"You've gone soft on me, Al." She met her eyes again. "I really, really love you."

The mirth vanished from the older woman's face, her green eyes darkened. "I really... really love you too."

"Really really?" The blonde said.

"Really really." She kissed her again.

"Alex." Piper said, "I mean it though, I've never – loved anyone the way I love you. I don't like to think about you in danger."

"I'm not in danger. I promise you, okay? I'll never leave you." There was a startling sincerity in her eyes. "Okay I know it's 3am, but is an orgasm out of the question?" She raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"Never." Piper pushed herself in closer, and their lips met once again.


Piper woke up to the sound of Red snoring loudly beside her, even though she had not yet opened her eyes, she knew that it was still night time, despite the prison still being dimly lit. She felt happy, the weight of her dream still firmly surrounding her – still cocooned in the blissful dream of the past. Some part of her knew that it wasn't real, but she wasn't ready to let go. She turned on her pillow, only to hear a rustling beneath her as she did.

Confused and sleepy, she didn't think much of it – until ten minutes later when the dream slipped away and Red's snoring got louder, she folded the pillow around her head – her earplugs had been stolen a few days before and she hadn't had a chance to make any more.

She heard the rustling again. She moved her hand beneath the pillow, and felt a thin piece of paper. Blinking, she gradually opened her eyes, the curiosity was too much.

It was a note, intrigued, she unfolded it, not entirely sure what to expect.

I see you're letting Stella get under your skin. Maybe you should fuck her instead of Vause?

Stella is a better associate than Vause ever was – she's smart. Together we're going to make Vause pay – SHU is just step one of my plan. It's cute that you're trying to bail her out, but you won't get anywhere. She'll be dead soon – so you'd better find someone else to keep your bed warm.

Oh, and no, you're not going crazy – Aydin delivered this message for me.

Believe me, Alex will pay for her betrayal. I'm telling you in advance – that's my reward to you for not ratting me out.

See you at the funeral,

Kubra

I warned you it was angsty! I just wanted to acknowledge things that actually happened in episode 8 (we'll just pretend Piper did not show an interest in Stella). Please leave a review – thank you for the ones I've received so far, they mean a lot to me. Until next time!