Chapter 7
E.P.O.V
What was I suppose to do, when the love of your life is always in danger, and it's because of me. Don't get me wrong, I love her; I thought this was the best way for her to stay alive, by lying to her. I thought by lying to her would keep her safe, not letting her come after me. I thought a clean break would be a better choice in the matter.
I couldn't stand it anymore, being away for her for 3 years, knowing the good times we had share together. The way she smelled like strawberries, and lilac, or the way she blushed when she was embarrassed, or the way she looked that night. These are memories that will always stay with me, forever and always. Since the time I had known her, fallen in love with her, she taught me the real meaning in life. We should be proud of who we are not matter what we are. She even taught me that life does have meaning, or the real meaning of love. With every step I would stand by her, support her decisions expect her becoming a monster like me, that love is something that cannot be explained expect felt, and sometimes it could even leave you speechless, which was rare. She made me a better person and to that I am truly grateful for.
Before I had met her I was always strolling through life like I didn't want to live. In realty I didn't want to live, not when I was all alone and had no one to be mines. I was always jealous of my family because they had mates, mates who stood by them with every decision, or felt what they were feeling. I wanted that, someone to look into my eyes and see the real me or I see them for who they really are, to understand there meaning in life, and how to make it easier on the person. I wanted a person who told me "I love you" or "I miss you" or when I come home from hunting someone who would make me happy just by staying with me.
I had found that person, a person to love. The way I look into her eyes and see those eyes staring back at me telling me everything is going to be ok, that we will be happy with each other, we will face everything that comes our way, with confidence, and loyalty. Just by looking into her eyes I had seen who she was and why I had fallen in love with her, whom I needed to, know. That someone special as Bella would make me see things differently. That life was special, that it should be treasured, and shared with their other half. I wanted someone who would cuddle with me, connecting in the most intimate ways.
With all that gone, don't you think life is not worth living anymore, not being able to see her smile bright smile, or see her when she cries and is always there to comfort her, when she falls I was always there, but no. I would never be able to see her, and that is the most selfish thing I had over did. Sometime I wonder if I had made a different choice, leaving her but telling her the truth.
I would say, look Bella I love you and you love me, but I can see my presence is putting you in danger and that is something I cannot handle. So I am leaving but for your own good, we can still call each other to see how each other is doing.
I didn't really want to think about that last part, because it would still break my heart and make me come back to her faster. When I would call her why she wouldn't pick up the phone, or what she was doing? Or who is she with. Would that have been better for her, at least we were able to talk to each other, but not be physical near her.
Which would hurt more? Not being physically near her, but talk to her, or cut all communications and physical contact.
What hurt me the most was the decision I had made, and it was the wrong one.
So here I am sitting in my room writing her a note, telling her the truth hoping one day in the near future that she would forgive me. I found out from Alice, that I wasn't able to take the flowers and the note to her, but I found a way.
I had left a note in Tanya house, hoping that she would give it to her. Would she do it?
Maybe if Alice was right, that she would take it to her, but she didn't say why she was going to be there. Since the last time I had seen Tanya things didn't go as I had planned, because she tried to break us apart, which had work for a little while. Since that day she had been keeping her distance from me and the rest of the family.
I hope she gets this because it would be a lot easier knowing she knew the truth behind my action, and may be one day we will meet once again until that day when I would see my angel, my soul mate.
B.P.O.V
Why did I have to go shopping, till this very day I still hated shopping? It was just the three of us heading to the mall, shopping. She would remind me of Alice because of her crazies. What can I say vampires will always be vampires who love to shop? I couldn't day no, because it seemed Renesmee needed new clothes. It seems like she is growing faster and she even grew 3 inches and gained 2 pounds. She only had a few clothes that still fit her but not much, and I did forget to tell you she loves to shop just like her two favorite aunts.
She would always try them on and say do I look beautiful or look like a princess. I would smile at her, and said you are a princess and you are always beautiful.
I couldn't believe we had hit so many stores that I had lost count. Most of the back to the van were Renesemee clothing and some of Tanya, and mines. In a way I had found it relaxing knowing I was spending time with them, and really enjoying myself.
We had parked in front of our house, Tanya even lives with us, how great is that?
I walked in to the front only to be stopped by Tanya.
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