Edited in 2016


Ryou thought that he needed to go see a doctor and take care of his injuries before he started searching for Mariku. He didn't know how he would go about it. Maybe he would ran into the other somewhere? Ryou had no idea.

It was awkward to explain how he got the injuries to the doctor but at least he didn't have to lie. Much. After all, he just had to say that he ran into two different doors during the time frame of a few seconds, erase Mariku off it all and blame it on his own clumsiness... Believable? The doctor thought so.

After he had been inspected, he had gone back to the house and just rested the best he could in that situation. His shoulder had been dislocated, but luckily for him, his nose hadn't been broken, it had just suffered a hit from the door. The rest wasn't restful. His thoughts still raced and there was no way he could get any sleep or even stay still for long.

What would he do if he were to find Mariku? What would he say? What would Mariku say or do? And more whats and whys, without forgetting the hows, whens and wheres.

Even though there was a lot going on in his head, there was nothing going on in the house. No sound, no movement, no anything. It felt so weird that just yesterday he had ran around, thinking that he was about to get killed, and now there was absolutely nothing going on. That disturbed Ryou, who, in all reality and honesty, didn't like to be alone. He had just gotten so used to it that it hadn't bothered him, not before he had gotten a call from Mariku, befriended Yuugi and...

Ryou turned on his side on his bed and felt how a hot tear fell down on his pillow. It was not fair... Life was not fair... Why life had given him a taste of what he could have, only to take it away again?

But that didn't mean that he was about to give up. The least he could do was to find and confront Mariku. He needed to apologize to Yuugi but that would put Yuugi in danger, and Ryou didn't want that.

It was Monday but Ryou hadn't went to school. The doctor had said that he should rest and he hadn't felt like going anyway. The teacher had been understanding when he had called her this morning about his condition but had told him to find out what they did that day. Ryou had felt like telling that he couldn't do that because he knew no one from the school he could ask from but hadn't. He would just call to the teacher again or something, he didn't even care all that much right now.

The house was too silent and it felt strangely cold. Ryou got up, taking his blanket with him, wrapping it around himself and going downstairs. They had a stereo system in the living room and he considered listening something on it but then he spotted one of the only horror movies he owned, deciding to watch it. Maybe the safety rope he had had for so long would also help him in this situation.

Xxx

Maybe his life didn't suck that bad after all.

Mariku had just come back from his latest job interview, which had been on the not so good side of town and the so called interviewer had been drunk and smelled like very cheap booze. Actually, now that he thought of it, so had the whole bar that was looking for someone to throw out the trouble makers. The "interview" had turned out to be a few questions and an angry drunken attack from the bar owner because Mariku had forgotten his ID to his apartment. He had been forced to defend himself, not that he had terribly minded putting the fat drunk back on his place.

Mariku had gotten the job.

It was a night job, which was good since he didn't sleep all that much during the night. He might as well use it for something more useful than just slacking at his place or partaking on Domino's colorful nightlife. And he would still have the days for himself, including weekends so that he could keep his other job. The pay would be unstable though, depending on the number of customers each night but it would be better than nothing, even if just barely. No matter how convenient it might be, it was still under his level. He could do better but wasn't about to complain or let that take away his current good mood.

Maybe now that he wasn't about to snap at any given moment, he could call Ryou and ask the unasked questions bothering him. Like what had been Ryou's motive when kissing him? He was also curios about why Ryou had chased Yuugi away. But other than that, that brat didn't interest him anymore and why should he? Yuugi might have gotten a hug from Ryou and whatever, but he had gotten something better. And since they had both at some point been some sort of friends with Ryou, but it wasn't sure if they were anymore, Mariku now had one up on Yuugi and that was enough reason for him to ignore the kid, for now. It had been Yuugi that had gotten chased away, not him.

Xxx

Ryou had fallen asleep during the movie and woke up well rested. He didn't stop to ponder about that. He wanted out of the house, just realizing how long he had been inside without getting out at all.

Ryou took good care to take his cellphone with him as he exited the house, deciding that since he was going out, he might as well check out the places he was pretty sure Mariku had seen him at, like the center of Domino. Maybe he would also visit the harbor.

Soon enough, Ryou was walking around Domino, taking a longer route to the seaside. He wasn't expecting to just run into the one he was searching for but it was nice being out for a change. A lot of people were around, hurrying somewhere, all looking so busy. All the people made Ryou feel uneasy but at the same time he knew that he would be safer with all these other people around, assuming that they would notice if something happened to him.

All the while he was hoping that his cell phone would ring, pulling it out of his pocket once in a while, but he still jumped when it finally did, answering, "Why didn't you kill me?"

"E-excuse me? Ryou what-?" Yuugi asked from the other end, sounding shocked and confused. Ryou made a mental note to always check the caller ID before answering from now on.

"Nothing, never mind that! I was just... um... kidding?" he tried but failed to sound all that convincing. "I... I thought I told you not to call me..."

"I know you did but I just can't leave it at that." It sounded like Yuugi was trying to sound firm over his worry. "Let me help you."

The gesture moved Ryou and he wanted to tell everything that had been going on but just... couldn't. "I don't need help," he stated, wondering if he was trying to convince Yuugi or himself. "Please leave me be." He hung up without further explanation. Even though he did appreciate the effort, this was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't Yuugi just leave him be? He had already told that it was for Yuugi's own good but still he kept trying. Why?

He kept walking towards the harbor, now in an angry hurry. He just wanted to get there and out of this crowd, though this time of day it was likely that the harbor was crowded as well. And since, judging from his ringing cell, this was a day when everyone wanted a piece of him, it would be unlikely that he could find a less crowded area anywhere. He might not want to be alone but he didn't like to be surrounded by strangers either.

This time around he did check the ID first and almost felt relieved that it was an unknown caller. "Mariku?" he asked just in case.

"I feel so moved that you guessed."

Ryou wasn't entirely sure if the other really meant that or if he was just being sarcastic since the tone was so light. Not that he cared much at this point. "Why-?"

"Hush now, let me speak first." Ryou almost shut his mouth at that but then it opened again to let out his protest that never quite got out since Mariku beat him to it, "Wouldn't it be better for us to talk face to face rather than on the phone? There's no point in hiding anymore, and besides-"

"Domino Harbor," Ryou said, not letting Mariku finish. "I would prefer to meet there." That was where he was going anyway.

There was a short pause before Mariku spoke up again, voice holding a trace of amusement. "Very well then. Careful not to get too eager though, one might even think that you're enjoying this." And with a low chuckle, he hung up.

Ryou stared at his phone for a while, letting what the other had said sink in. He actually felt like yelling at Mariku for all this, even if the harbor was a public place. That bastard..!

And with his heart beating furiously, Ryou made the rest of the way to their meeting place.

Xxx

Mariku lived pretty far from the harbor and it took him a while to get there, and when he did, Ryou was already there, facing the sea. He took his time approaching Ryou, it was, after all, unlikely that he would run away this time. The thought, and memory, made Mariku grin and he didn't quite manage to lose the grin before he reached Ryou.

"Hi, do you come here often?"

The boy jumped, turning around and taking a few steps away, seeing that Mariku had been standing fairly close. Then he directed this almost glare at the tanned one. The behavior amused Mariku but also raised more questions.

"You..." Ryou shook and clenched and unclenched his fingers, looking nervous and somehow ticked off. "Why- What is your problem?!" he exclaimed, making a few of the people passing by glance at them before continuing on their merry way. Mariku, not expecting that, failed to say anything before the boy started again.

"You can't just go and- Argh! I mean, where did you go?! Why?!" Ryou yelled in some sort of desperate anger. "You- I thought that you were going to kill me and not just-! You can't do something like that!"

This made absolutely no sense to Mariku but it was making him annoyed and his good mood dissolve. He took hold of the yelling Ryou's arm and clapped a silencing hand on the boy's mouth. Ryou's eyes widened and he struggled against the hold but not hard enough to make Mariku let go.

"Stay still and listen," he hissed near the boy's face. Ryou's breath was coming in gasps but he did stop struggling and looked between Mariku's hand on his mouth, and his face. "Bite me again and I will bite you back," Mariku warned just in case with a slightly suggestive undertone. "Then again, you would probably like that, wouldn't you?" He smirked and Ryou yelled something against his palm that he guessed was a protest. He glared at the people who had slowed down to stare, making them move along faster.

"Now, I am going to remove my hand and you are not going to start yelling again. Instead, you are going to tell me what that little outburst was about. Understood?" Mariku told clearly and calmly after directing his full attention on the other again. Ryou just stared back, eyes hardening, for a good while before nodding.

After being let go, the boy asked a clear question about what was bothering him, "Why didn't you kill me?"

Whatever Mariku had been expecting, that was not it. When would this boy stop surprising him? "Wait... You wanted me to kill you?" he asked in disbelief. This had never happened before, no one he knew had never wanted to get killed by him. It was 'Please don't kill me', not 'Please kill me'.

"What? No! It's not that," Ryou told, still fuming but not yelling that much and Mariku waited for him to continue. "I thought you were going to... and... that's why I... You led me on," Ryou ended his explanation awkwardly.

Mariku frowned in thought before it all clicked. It made him laugh out loud. It was funny, sure, but he felt stupid now for speculating otherwise. Ryou looked at him in some sort of angry confusion, disturbed. Mariku managed to stop laughing but still chuckled some before speaking again. "So you actually thought that you were going to die and that's why you made out with me?" He laughed a bit more at the obscurity of it all. "I must say, Ryou, your logic is very amusing."

Ryou glared and huffed. "It's not funny. You gave me the wrong impression. You led me on." Mariku thought that Ryou looked pretty when angry, instead of scary or anything that even distantly resembled it. All and all, to him, the boy seemed to be this beautiful, disturbed being who was so... unique, interesting... and almost begging to be possessed, to be taken good care of.

"Let's walk," Mariku suggested, turning to face the same direction Ryou was, placing a hand on his back and giving a slight push to get the now taken back and surprised boy to walk. Ryou took a few steps, starting to walk, glancing at Mariku in confusion.

"What are you..?" Ryou asked, leaving the question unfinished. Mariku didn't bother to answer. He continued to walk, not removing his hand before it was swapped away. Ryou took a few faster steps to get ahead of him and turned to face him, stopping them. "You can't just- What?"

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," Mariku told. "And, my sweet Ryou, do tell when have I ever given you the impression that I was seeking to kill you?" The answer was going to be interesting, if there would be one at all.

Ryou opened his mouth to speak but then frowned, closing it again and looking down in thought. Mariku smirked, stepping forward and placing his hands on both sides of the boy's face to get him to look at him. Ryou did, looking startled but leaning on the touch.

"If anything, didn't I tell you that I didn't want to hurt you?" He swore that he heard the boy's racing heart and saw a realization behind the eyes. It made him feel on top of things again. "And besides, if I really wanted to hurt you, don't you think that I would have killed that friend of yours instead, hm?" Mariku questioned. "The pain of losing someone... A far greater one than any physical pain..."

Ryou gasped and a tear rolled down his cheek, falling on Mariku's hand and getting a glance from him before he directed his eyes on Ryou's again.

"But you already know that," he continued, softening and lowering his tone. "It hurts a great deal, doesn't it?"

The boy swallowed and nodded. "Yes," he whispered, eyes watering.

"Makes you feel so alone..." Mariku said, caressing the pale cheek with his thumb, skimming over the lower lip, leaning further in Ryou's personal bubble, feeling how Ryou was leaning in too, that making him mentally grin.

"Yes..." The boy's voice came out as a breathy whisper, a few more tears falling down, eyes shinning with more unshed ones, making them look so very beautiful. "I-I f-feel like... I'm n-nothing..." Ryou whispered, voice broken and tears falling freely.

"Sshhh... You want it to go away..." Mariku hushed almost gently. "...so that you can be something again..." That seemed to be the final blow and Ryou cracked, breaking down and wailing out all of his hidden or forgotten pain and loneliness.

"Yes! Yes! I want to... to be so-something..!" he sobbed, taking a hold of Mariku's jacket, seeking to pull them closer to perhaps hug him for comfort. Mariku held his head in place, preventing it for a moment longer, looking into the teary, desperate eyes before letting go and letting Ryou wrap his arms around him and cry on his chest, wrapping his own arms around the broken boy's shaking form.

"I can help you with that," he told softly. "I know your worth, my sweet." He did, but not only that; he was the only one who did out of all the herds of sheep, commonly known as humans. People just flocked around, ignoring and shunning anyone who didn't fit in the herd, being told what to do by a few sheep dogs, doing what they were told to without questions, just following each other around like they were all unable to think for themselves.

"Please do..." Ryou said, quietly, not letting go yet, not that Mariku wanted him to. It made him feel good to have this beautiful being depending on him; now he was not the only one who needed and wanted the other around for satinty's sake.

If he couldn't get rid of his obsession, the least he could do was to make sure that he could share it. It made him feel in control again.