Trial And Error

By AllzStar

Author's Note: Ah...long update period. I have no excuse.

Chapter Six – So This Is My Life

The following Monday is grey and drizzly. The streets are slick with rain and it feels like eight in the evening at eleven in the morning. Needless to say, it's depressing. Not to mention the rain will crust over the snow, making it rock hard and crunchy. Gotta love South Park.

I make my way across the parking lot, picking my way around patches of black ice and slush, my mind somewhere far away.

Today is Kyle's first day back at school.

I have no idea what's in store, and I don't know if I'm ready to face the day ahead of me. But I have no choice, so I take a deep breath and pull open the doors of the school. If I expected a blast of warm air, I don't get it. The school is only a few degrees warmer than it is outside. Lovely.

Cartman and Kenny are waiting for me by my locker, where we usually meet in the morning. They greet me in a wane manner; as if they expect me to flip shit any second. I give them a knowing look. "I'm okay so far. You guys ready?"

They exchanged glances. "I don't know," Kenny replies honestly.

I nod my head. "I know the feeling."

"It's just weird," Cartman says. "Knowing we're gonna see him today...but he doesn't know us."

"He knows Kenny," I say before I can stop myself. Kenny shoots me a look full of what can only be pity, but I don't dare say anything more.

Kenny opens his locker and shoves his book bag inside, yanking out a large gym bag in replacement. "I've got gym first," he says. "Kyle's in my class...I'll let you guys know how he is."

"Text me," I say, holding up my phone. Kenny nods and lopes away towards the change rooms. I sigh and fish my history textbook out of my bag. I look at Cartman. "Guess we might as well head to class."

He nods and falls into step beside me. It's the first time in a long time we don't talk on our way too, during, or after history class.

OOO

I can't say I'm honestly surprised when Kyle brushes by me in the cafeteria. He doesn't know me. But I'd thought he'd at least cling to me, since I'm familiar to him. We spent the entire weekend together, looking at photos of us as kids. I hadn't thought losing his memory would change his personality; Kyle was never one to hurt someone on purpose.

Kenny senses my misery immediately as I sit down for lunch, plunking my face on my fist. "That bad?"

"He ignored me," I say, looking at my tray of very unappetizing food. "Completely. I mean, sure, maybe he doesn't remember me from before the accident, but he should know me now. We spent the whole weekend together! Why is he being so shallow?"

Cartman turns in his seat to search for the redhead in question. Kyle is sitting a few tables away with Craig and his gang. "The fuck is the Jew doing over there?" he asks.

"Butters was really nice to him in Calc," Kenny replies. "I guess Kyle's sitting with him because he feels safe."

"I wasn't nice enough, then," I pout, picking at my food with my fork. "This sucks balls."

"Why don't we just go over there and sit with them?"

"The bench is full," Cartman says before I can. I blink at him. Is he defending me?

"Well, Kyle's not gonna remember on his own, guys," Kenny snaps, tossing his fork onto the table. "It's give-and-take, and just sitting here pouting isn't gonna change anything!"

"Why don't you go over there, then, Kenny?" Cartman growls.

"I will." Kenny fixes me with a meaningful look. I look away. I can't stand it when he looks at me like that. "You really expected him to be the same, huh? Well, news flash, Stan, he isn't. If you're too much of a pussy to actually work hard and make him remember himself, then why the hell were you his friend in the first place?" Kenny shakes his head, grabs his tray, and swings himself out of the bench.

I don't see him walk away. My world has gone blurry.

OOO

I'm determined to make him talk to me.

We have biology together last period. Perfect opportunity. We were lab partners before the accident, and I doubt Mr. Mann will let him switch halfway through the year.

I swing into my seat and tap my fingers on the desk. I'm a ball of nervous energy now, anticipating and yearning and hoping. I'm praying silently that something—anything—will become of this hour.

Kyle walks into the room, looking miffed. Butters grabs his elbow and steers him through the room towards the side of the class. I stare at the blond fuck. He's seriously making Kyle his lab partner? Then what about...oh, no.

Wendy comes in, sees Kyle and Butters sitting together, sighs, and heads down the aisle towards me. She smiles at me shyly. "I guess we're both out of partners."

"I guess." It comes out as a growl. I don't mean it to. I think she knows that.

She sits down next to me and sweeps her dark hair up into a ponytail. And just like that, I'm transported to grade nine. The smell of coconut—whatever shampoo she uses is AMAZING—and the sweep of that long, silky hair. It's mesmerizing.

"Stan," she says, waving a hand in front of my face. "Earth to Stan!"

"Hi." I looked sidelong at her and offer her a lopsided smile. "Sorry. Miles away."

She looks like she's about to say something but the teacher comes in and starts class. She closes her mouth, sighs, and bends down to collect her things from her book bag.

For some reason—it's just instinct, I think—my eyes swivel to the right. Kyle's looking at me, half twisted in his seat. As soon as my eyes meet his he give me a shy smile and a little wave. I stare at him, dumbfounded. But I return the gesture with a teeny smile of my own. Then he shrugs and turns back around in his seat to converse with Butters.

I look back to the front and catch Wendy smiling at me. But I'm too busy smiling myself to really care.

OOO

Kenny picks me up after bio and we head to the bus together. Cartman materializes out of nowhere and then it's the three of us again, lumbering through the yard, our backpacks weighing us down with textbooks and unfinished homework. It's a normal day after school, and yet nothing about it feels normal.

I didn't talk to Kyle all day.

I feel drained, even though I didn't really do anything all day. I don't want to slip back into angst mode just yet, though, so I stoop down, grab a handful of snow and chuck it at the back of Kenny's head. The blond yelps in surprise and turns around. I expect him to have a huge grin and to nail another one back at me, but his face is contorted into a glare. "What the fuck, Stan!" he yells. He turns and stalks towards the bus. Cartman and I look at each-other, and again, we have nothing to say.

Author's Note: A sad excuse for a chapter, but I really wanted to get an update done so that you wouldn't think I'd died. I'm still alive! And don't worry, the next chapter will actually have stuff happening, rather than this filler shite. Sorry guys. I love you? :)