Disclaimer: Not mine…just playing with SM's characters.
A/N: Thank you for reading & reviewing! Hope you all had a very happy holidays, and Happy New Year! Apologies it took me a while…RL and all.
Special thanks to my beta eternally_addicted! She's the best!
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
-Linkin Park, "Faint"
Chapter 6: Faint
Name: Swan, Isabella "Bella"
Identifying data: Bella is a 22-year-old Caucasian female born in Phoenix, AR. Her brother was killed in an accident when she was 6 years old and he was 8 years old. Her mother, a schoolteacher, was killed in a car accident when she was 11 years old. Her father was a police officer in Phoenix. He was killed in the line of duty. She was orphaned at the age of 18. Self-admitted to the Forks Hospital Psychiatric Ward.
Appearance: Bella appears well groomed and is dressed in the hospital issued attire. She is of average height and a thin build. She has no visible ticks or tremors, but may have a heat sensitivity problem, as her cheeks are often flushed.
Presenting problem: *Come back to this
Developmental History
Pregnancy/Infancy: Bella's mother had a normal pregnancy and Bella met all developmental milestones.
Elementary school: Bella says that from an early age, she did not relate well to her peers. She felt older than all of them, and she knew "things" that her other classmates did not. When she was 6 years old, Bella and her brother fell from a tree in their backyard. Bella broke her arm, while her brother was killed in the accident. He was 8 years old.
Middle school: Bella's mother is killed in a car crash with Bella as the passenger. The car crashed into a river and her mother drowned. Bella says she was barely pulled out of the car in time. She was 11 years old.
High School: When Bella was 18 years old, her father was killed in the line of duty. A young woman was almost raped by a group of young men, and Bella's father came to her rescue and chased all but one of the men off. The man that remained shot her father and killed him.
College/Adulthood: Having no other family to speak of, Bella headed off towards Dartmouth, before transferring to Northwestern, and then finally to the University of Washington. She dropped out a month ago and admitted herself to Forks Hospital.
Current: *come back to this
Mental Status
Verbal: speaks clearly and evenly
Non-Verbal: bites her bottom lip and twirls stands of hair
Intelligence: above average
Mood: calm and attentive, smiles and laughs often
Perception: Poor
Sensorium: alert and focused on the doctor, good eye contact.
Memory: *come back to this
Thought Content: Delusional thoughts
Thought Process: irrational
Judgment: poor
Insight: poor
Eating: enjoys cooking, says it's a "hobby"
Sleeping: non-restorative, only 5-7 hours a night
Sexual Patterns: says she is a virgin
Drugs/Alcohol: no drugs, no alcohol
Multiaxial Assessment
Axis I:
Axis II:
Axis III:
Axis IV:
Axis V: GAF=
Conclusion: ?
I honestly wanted to slam my forehead down on my desk, but decided Carlisle would probably frown on that sort of behavior considering I was still in my office at the hospital. I hadn't left the room since my session with Isabella Swan, and my regular office hours ended about two hours ago. I stared at her unfinished case study on my computer. I barely even knew where to begin. She had my head spinning from the moment I opened my office door.
The knock on my door startled me from my thoughts. Last night I had a bizarre dream that there was a red headed woman hovering over my bed. I had no idea who she was and her eyes were blood red. It was something new, yet someone else that I didn't know who was popping up in my dreams. Carlisle had no theories on my brown-eyed girl, so I wondered what he would make of this new mystery person.
"Come in!" I called, getting myself ready for my next session. To my surprise, it was Carlisle who popped his head in. I had forgotten about the new precautions.
"Hello, Dr. Masen," He said politely. He always called me "doctor" now while we were in the work setting.
"Dr. Cullen," I responded, "Good morning."
"I've come with your next patient, Isabella Swan. I just wanted to make sure it was a smooth transition."
"Ah," I nodded, "Well, bring her in."
Apparently we were taking extra precautions with the patients now. A doctor plus guards were to escort patients to and from any destinations and security supervision had been raised. Last night Ryan Kingston had killedhimself in an extremely brutal manner. He apparently had stolen a pair of scissors from the arts and crafts area without any of the nurses noticing and slashed his wrists before slashing his neck. I was told it was a blood bath, and the police were still investigating things when I arrived this morning.
Carlisle smiled at me. "I think you'll really be able to help Ms. Swan, Dr. Masen."
I gave him a polite smile back, "I hope so too, Dr. Cullen."
Carlisle turned towards the door and gestured to someone to come inside. When I looked towards the door, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. My entire body felt like it was being pulled towards the door, but I held my ground. I blinked several times, but she looked exactly the same. I shook my head slightly and clenched my eyes shut. It couldn't be her…
"Dr. Masen, are you all right?" I vaguely heard Carlisle ask.
I opened my eyes slowly, but all I could see was her. My brown-eyed girl was here in my office…and apparently her name was Isabella Swan. I shook my head and took several deep breaths to focus.
No…it couldn't be her.
When I looked at Carlisle, I noticed the concern on his face, and noticed that there was also a guard standing behind the brown-eyed girl. The guard also wore a look of concern. The girl, or rather, Isabella Swan was staring at me with wide eyes. I took a deep breath, knowing I had to get it together. I had never seen Isabella Swan before, so there was no way she could be my brown-eyed girl. Her hair was a mahogany, brown color, nothing like Isabel, Marie, or Belle.
"I'm fine, Dr. Cullen," I replied as calm as possible, "Um, welcome, Ms. Swan. Can I get you a bottle of water or anything?"
Isabella's cheeks flushed and her eyes darted down to the floor as she shook her head. She was a shy one...my brown eyed girls were never shy in my dreams. I shook my head slightly again…now was not the time to be thinking about such things. There was no way Isabella was…was them.
"Dr. Masen, I'll check in with you later?" Carlisle asked.
I just nodded and went to take my seat. Hearing the door click shut I turned my gaze back to Isabella. She was sitting near the edge of the chair, but her body seemed relaxed. I was a bit startled to see that she was staring back at me, her chocolate colored eyes focused on mine. I noticed that her cheeks were flushed and she was chewing on her bottom lip. I tried not to think about the fact that my brown-eyed girls did the same thing in my dreams. I decided to call her "Ms. Swan", needing to keep things as professional as possible and not let my dreams get in the way of anything.
"Well, Ms. Swan," I started, "How are you today?"
"Fine," came the soft, sweet voice that I knew from my dreams. I took another deep breath to calm myself. I was the doctor here…I needed to stay calm.
"It says in your file that you admitted yourself to Forks Hospital Psychiatric Ward?"
Isabella's gaze turned toward her lap and she nodded silently. Carlisle had told me all of my cases would be a challenge. Right now, "challenge" seemed like an understatement. I sighed and picked up my pen and paper.
"Do you mind answering some questions so that I may get to know a little bit about you?" I asked slowly. Isabella was a shy one and didn't want to scare her. "You don't have to answer all of my questions if you're not comfortable."
Again, Isabella just nodded. I took a sip of water, carefully replacing the cap. I had no desire for a repeat of what happened during Alice Whitlock's session.
"All right, Ms. Swan, can you tell me where you were born?"
"It's Bella."
"Pardon me?" I asked. She spoke so softly I barely heard her.
"Call me Bella please," she replied, looked up at me once again.
I gave her a small smile, though my mind was freaking out on me.
"All right..." I said slowly.
Her answers were short, but I got the basic information out of her. She was 22 years old, born in Phoenix...had no living family members. I felt the pang in my chest as I listened to her tell me about her brother who died when she was 6, then her mother when she was 11, and finally her father when she was 18. It made me think that death seemed to follow this girl wherever she went. It made me think of some sort of supernatural story where everyone the main character loved or knew died. Even Ryan Kingston was now dead. I closed my eyes quickly and chased those thoughts out of my head. This was not some work of fiction, this was the poor girl's real life.
I was shocked to find out that she had attended three different universities in the last four years. When I asked why she had done so, she didn't answer. When I looked at the timeline of her attendance at each school, they seemed to match the time that I was in each city. The only one that didn't match up was Dartmouth. That was also the shortest time she spent at any of the universities, save for the University of Washington. She had transferred there this semester but dropped out almost immediately after. Most of her time was spent in Chicago at Northwestern University. A small shiver ran through my body. Was it possible I had seen her before? I dispelled that thought quickly. Chicago was a huge city and it was highly unlikely we were even in the same areas.
"All right, Ms. Swan," I said, finishing up some notes, "I want to ask you, can you tell me exactly why you think you are here?"
I wondered if she would actually answer me this time. I got nothing when I had asked her why she had admitted herself here at Forks Hospital. To my surprise, she answered.
"I'm a great storyteller."
My brows furrowed, "Excuse me?"
Bella looked up and smiled at me, her brown eyes more alive than they had looked all day.
"I'm a great storyteller, Edward."
I couldn't stop the small gasp that left my lips. Her voice sounded just like it did in my dreams. I coughed softly to try and cover up my gasp.
"You may call me Edward or Dr. Masen, Ms. Swan. Now, you believe you are here because you are a great storyteller?"
"I asked you to call me Bella," She said with a frown. Before I could answer, she continued on.
Bella smiled, "May I tell you a story?"
"Now, Ms. Swan, I am more interested in talking about you. I have no interest in hearing stories. I would like to hear about your life."
I watched as Bella's eyes fell and her smile faded immediately. Her voice was soft again when she spoke, even tinged with a bit of sadness.
"You don't remember me do you?"
Her question surprised me and I spoke quickly, "Now, Ms. Swan-"
"Don't worry…you will."
She stared into my eyes as she said it and she was so certain of her words. It made me swallow heavily. I felt it deep down in my soul…something was stirring, but I didn't know what it was. I took a deep breath yet again, figuring it was a sense of unease that I was feeling. My mind was buzzing with so many thoughts I was barely hanging on to my sense of professionalism.
"Ms. Swan," I said slowly, "During our sessions, I would like to focus on you. Perhaps during your free time you can tell stories to entertain the other-"
"I want to tell them to you!" Bella exclaimed, her voice the loudest it had been since she entered my office, "YOU need to hear them!"
"Ms. Swan-"
"I won't talk to you unless you agree to hear the stories!" Bella said defiantly.
"Ms. Swan, acting that way really won't help you any. I am here to help you, and talking with me during our sessions will help."
Bella stared at me silently. I sighed.
"Is this how you want things to go? You'll sit here silently during our sessions and I'll write down what I think is wrong with you and you won't get any better because you refuse to cooperate?"
Bella's eyes narrowed, "I don't need to get better. YOU are the one who needs to listen."
I felt my own eyes narrow slightly. My professionalism was slipping and I felt like things were becoming oddly more personal. I hadn't even realized that I had leaned forward at some point and so had Bella. I sat back and cleared my throat. Surely if I offered a compromise, Bella would agree.
"I will agree to let you tell me your stories," I said, and Bella's mouth instantly spread into a grin, "However, you have to agree to work with me as well. I am here to help you Ms. Swan, and this…storytelling will be a reward for work well done. Does that sound fair to you?"
"How…how often will you decide whether or not I've…done well?" Bella asked slowly.
"Once every other week," I answered, knowing that was about how often I was going reassess each of my clients anyway.
Bella's eyes went to my window for a few moments, and she spoke softly to herself. "That should be enough time."
"Pardon me, Ms. Swan?"
"That sounds like a fair amount of time," She said sweetly as if I hadn't heard her just say something differently. I felt my eyes narrow again.
"Very well, Ms. Swan. Once every other week, if I decide you have been cooperating, you may tell me one of your stories."
I called for one of the guards to come and escort Bella back to her room. As I used the phone at my desk, Bella continued to simply sit and stare at me, her brown eyes never straying. It felt like my tie was becoming too tight around my neck and I pulled at it nervously as I spoke to the head of security that was sending someone over now. When the guard finally showed up after what seemed like hours, I was barely able to plaster a polite smile on my face.
"Until next time, Ms. Swan."
She smiled at me, "Remember, Edward."
I froze, having heard those words in my dreams before. Bella let out a little laugh.
"Remember to call me Bella next time."
I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms. Carlisle hadn't come by to check on me and I preferred it that way. I needed to be alone with my thoughts right now. I snorted to myself. I had been alone for almost nine hours now. My thoughts were still a jumbled mess, though I had been able to get through a good chunk of Bella's case study. I had a session with Carlisle tomorrow, and I was actually thinking I might take a week or two off. None of my clients seemed like they were in immediate danger of breaking down, but I would double check with Carlisle. I wasn't going to go far…I just needed to be away from the hospital for a little while to get my head straight. Bella wasn't the only client I needed to have my game together to work with.
My mind still buzzed with the memory of my session with Bella. I looked down at my lap in disgust…a part of my body clearly enjoyed my session with Bella. There was no other words to describe how I felt now…disgusted, dirty, vile…I was a doctor who got a boner from simply remembering his session with a client.
But she's not just any client is she?
No…she wasn't just any client. I could at least admit that much. Isabella Swan was the brown-eyed girl from my dreams. There was no denying it was her, no matter how badly I wanted to. Sure the hair color was different, but it was always different. Instead of blonde, red, or the color of black coffee, her hair was a mahogany brown…almost as if all three previous colors had been mashed together.
I let out a frustrated growl. This was just all sorts of unethical on my part. I was thanking the lord that I didn't get hard during our session. I lay my forehead down on my desk and tried to think of the most boner killing images possible so I could walk out of here and go home. I didn't know what I was going to say to Carlisle…but I was determined to keep working with Isabella Swan. As long as nothing unethical happened. I wanted to know where she came from, and get down to how I really knew who she was, and why I dreamt of her almost every night. I knew the answer would be here somewhere. It had to be.
With that new determination (and once again looser fitting pants), I turned off my computer and gathered my things to head home. Though I had been attempting to stay away from finding comfort with my friends Jack, Jim, and Jose, I was thinking tonight I would need at least a little bit of alcohol to numb my mind. It was too late to go running any way and I needed a way to clear my mind. As I stepped out of my office and locked up, I was surprised to see Alice Whitlock with two guards, and none other than Isabella Swan.
"Hi, Edward," Alice said cheerfully. Bella smiled, her cheeks turning red, but said nothing.
"Hello, Alice," I said pleasantly, "Hello…Bella."
Bella managed a soft, "Hello, Edward" in return.
"How come you're still here, Doc?" One of the guards, I believe his name was Matt or something, asked.
"Just finishing up some work," I smiled.
"Don't worry," Alice smiled, "I'm almost positive you'll figure it out."
"Alice…" Bella hissed, surprising me.
"Right," Alice nodded, "Anyway, have a good night, Edward. Don't drink too much."
I literally felt my face pale a bit. Alice Whitlock's supposed "psychic" abilities were at it again…and again being freakishly accurate. Alice tugged on Bella's arm.
"Come on, Bella. See you later, Edward. Sweet dreams," Alice said with a soft giggle.
"Good night, Alice," I barely managed to get out, still stunned from her drinking comment.
"Good night, Edward," Bella said quietly over her shoulder as Alice tugged her along with the two guards who also said good night.
"Good night…Bella."
By the time the words left my lips, she had already disappeared around the corner, and oddly, it felt like half of my heart had gone with her.
Later that night, I enjoyed some of Esme's chicken alfredo with a generous serving of some Jack Daniels. I had some random alternative songs playing from the sound system and my mind was starting to feel blissfully numb. Oddly, I didn't go for another serving of Jack…a little voice in my head telling me that maybe I should listen to Alice Whitlock's little warning. She had after all been right about the water bottle incident during our session.
Since I had left the hospital so late, it was much further into the night than I had imagined, so I headed to bed, knowing I would be in for quite the session with Carlisle the following day. I needed to have my shit together. Taking a quick, hot shower to relieve the sore muscles I felt in my back, I finished up my routine for the night and slipped on a pair of boxers before slipping into bed. My mind and body felt weary, and soon, I was fast asleep.
The woods were warm despite the cover the trees provided. Little patches of sunshine slipped through, warming my cheeks if my step placed me in the right spot. I wanted to escape to the stream for a little while. My mother was busy making dinner and my father said he didn't need any of my help. I was happy being eleven years old, but knew that soon, I would need to start helping my father all the time, and learning the trade so I could be a man. My father had already given me many speeches about being a man, while my mother pestered him to let me remain a child a little longer. I whistled one of the Spanish folk songs I overheard my father singing with his friends last night. Summer is coming to a close and I want to take advantage of the warm weather while I can.
The stream is crystal clear, and the grassy area surrounding both banks is full of summer flowers and butterflies. The trees don't cover the area, and the sun warms my entire body as I step out into the open. I look up at the sun to try and gauge how long I have. Deciding that I had a decent amount of time, a swim sounded like a nice idea. I slip off my shoes and clothes and jump into the water. It felt cool and soothing as the current washed over me.
Here, floating and swimming in the stream alone, I could be away from the thoughts that had been plaguing me earlier. I didn't like hearing that I would have to follow in my father's footsteps and become a blacksmith. I wanted to do something more...but there wasn't much I could do to rise from the status of blacksmith. It was the life I seemed to be destined for. I knew I should be thankful that I wasn't starving and I had a roof over my head. My parents loved me and I was healthy…I supposed there wasn't much else I needed, and the life of a blacksmith might not be so bad. My father certainly didn't mind. I continue to hum the song I heard my father singing as I splash about. The stream wasn't a bad place for a bath, and sure beat using the frigid water from our well.
"What are you humming?"
I jumped, startled by the soft, feminine Spanish that interrupts the peaceful calm I had surrounded myself in.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded, sinking lower in the water to hide my naked body.
Sitting near the edge of river is a girl, probably the same age as me, wearing a white dress. Her hair is dark, darker than the drink my father likes to partake in with his friends, and her brown eyes stand out against her pale skin. She seems like one of the more…wealthy children who live in town. She grins at me and stands up, placing her hands on her hips.
"I come here to swim every day."
My eyes narrow, "I've never seen you here before."
"I've seen you," the girl smirks.
I feel the color drain from my face, scared and embarrassed by what she may have seen. The girl tilts her head to the side, her brows furrowed.
"You play with the snake between your legs a lot. My father told me boys' snakes are poisonous to girls. I don't understand how a snake can only be poisonous to girls. Is it not poisonous to you?"
"No!" I shout, my cheeks flaming in embarrassment. I had only recently discovered, by accident mind you, that playing with my…snake, as she called it, felt quite good. I sank further into the water so that it was almost to my chin. I wanted to keep my snake out of this girl's view. She continued to stare at me with her brows furrowed, as if she was deep in thought.
"Have we met before?" She asks.
I snort, "Obviously not! Although you apparently spy on me every day."
The girl's cheeks turn a dark red. "Well…I mean…have I seen you around town? Do you remember seeing me before?"
I shake my head. "No. I've never seen you before today."
"Do you mind if I swim with you?" She asks, changing topics suddenly.
"I…what…I…NO!" I stutter out.
"I'll stay on this side of the river. It is much too hot a day to stay away."
I swallow heavily, "I…I suppose that would be all right."
"Close your eyes and don't watch me," The girl says sternly.
I nod and close my eyes. I hear the rustling of fabric, and I cannot resist a peek. My eyes had never fallen upon a naked girl before, and I wondered just how different we were. I crack my eyes open and see the girl standing sideways, folding her dress neatly. She is thin, and her skin is so pale it is almost the color of milk. Though they are small, I notice she has curves where I do not. She starts to turn and I snap my eyes shut. I hear her splash in the water and soon she speaks.
"You can open your eyes now."
I open them and see that she is now submerged in the water up to her neck.
"Stay on your side and keep your snake away from me," She says seriously, "I don't want to get poisoned."
I nod, not wanting to poison her either. I would have to talk to my father about this whole poisonous snake thing. It didn't really look like a snake, so already I was confused about what the girl was saying. I decide to just trust her.
"What is your name?" I ask.
"Isabel," the girl smiles, "What's yours?"
"Eduardo."
Isabel smiled widely, "Are you a good swimmer, Eduardo?"
"I am," I reply.
"Do you think you can hold your breath longer than me?"
"Yes," I said confidently.
"Shall we find out?"
"On the count of three," I grin, "One…two…three!"
I dive under the water and am greeted with a bright white light. Startled, I push to the surface, but when I open my eyes, I am no longer in the stream. I am standing in a parlor, decorated with candles and flowers.
"Are you ready Anthony?"
I glance to my left and smile, my words coming to me automatically. "I've never been more ready, Carlisle. Nothing has ever felt so right in my heart."
"Love conquers all, Anthony," Carlisle smiles at me. I remember the first time he said these words to me. It was after I came to him for help. Marie was a servant girl in our household, and though I was expected to marry another, there was no one in this world I loved more than Marie.
Though many forbade our love, Carlisle never wavered in his support of Marie and I. Marie's friends Angela, and her husband Ben, were also servants in our household, but they were trusted. They also supported Marie and I, and all were helping us prepare to make our journey out of London and away from those who wished to keep Marie and I apart. Carlisle's friend, a boat captain named Jeremiah, was taking Marie and I out of London. Marie was doubtful, but she trusted me to make the right decisions for us. Carlisle was marrying us in secret, having recently taken over as Pastor for his aging father.
"It's time," Carlisle smiles, the clock in the hall chiming and letting us know the hour was upon us.
Angela and Ben were sitting in a couple of chairs and what seemed like hundreds of candles were flickering, giving the area in which Carlisle and I stood a warm glow. Carlisle's parents were not in London and he was marrying Marie and I in his parlor. In a few days we would meet again to go over plans for sneaking Marie and I out of London.
My breath leaves my chest as Marie steps around the corner. I had never seen her look so lovely. Angela was also a talented seamstress, and when Marie and I told her of our intentions to marry each other, Angela promised Marie a beautiful wedding gown. Angela had not failed.
The dress was a beautiful ivory color, with plum and gold lace around the top. I could see flowers in the pattern of lace that covered her shoulders and chest. I would not be able to thank Angela enough. The dress was perfect. The skirt seemed to float around Marie with every step that brought her closer to me. Even through her lace veil, I could see Marie's brown eyes sparkling with moisture. I extended my hand to her, her arms covered in white gloves that extended to her elbow, and helped her take the last few steps to me. I could feel my own eyes prickle with tears. We were really here, about to become man and wife. As Marie came to stand next to me, Carlisle gives us both a happy smile.
"Anthony and Marie," Carlisle smiles, "It is with great happiness that I stand here before you today."
Marie and I glance at each other, our smile identical. Carlisle performs a traditional Anglican ceremony, and I feel nothing but happiness in my heart as Carlisle says Marie and I are now husband and wife. Marie and I smile at Carlisle, and I turn and smile at Angela and Ben as well. Our closest friends were here with us, celebrating our love, and doing what they could to make sure Marie and I were happy together.
As I lift Marie's veil, I can't help but let a tear slip out. Marie's cheeks were streaked with tears, but I had never seen her look so happy.
"I love you, Anthony," Marie murmured.
I lean forward and press my lips to hers, sealing our bond as man and wife. I lean my forehead against Marie's, breathing a sigh of complete happiness.
"I love you, Marie. Forever."
"Forever," Marie whispered.
Our lips came back to each other then, my hands coming up to cup Marie's cheeks. I felt warmth and love surround me, like I was being enveloped in a white light. When I sighed and opened my eyes, I was in a bedroom, lying on my back, and it was Belle that I held in my arms. We were lying in a large bed, with sunshine streaming in through the windows.
Belle's small hand rubs my bare chest. "Shall I make us something for breakfast?"
I run my hand through her blonde hair, smirking up at her.
"I think I'd rather just stay in bed with you all day."
Belle laughs and slaps my chest, "You are insatiable, Mr. Masen."
"Mmmm…you say that like it's a bad thing, Mrs. Masen. Come on…spend the day with me. Your mother and the others won't be back until tomorrow."
Belle leans over so her top half is pressed against mine. Her lips press against my chest before traveling over to where the puckered ugly scar lies near my shoulder. I shiver as her lips press a soft kiss there as well.
"Do you know how happy you make me?" She asks, sitting up to look down at me. Belle traces the planes of my face softly with her fingertips. "I love you, Robert."
I catch her hand in mine and place a kiss into her palm.
"I love you too, Belle Masen."
Belle smiles, "I'm so happy you came back to me."
"I promised you I would."
"I was so scared when you first came home…there was so much blood…" Belle says sadly. She always got a sad look in her eyes when she spoke of that day. The day I came home without Jacob or Jasper. I found out days later that the Whitlocks received a memo telling them that Major Jasper Whitlock was declared missing and presumed dead.
I cup Belle's cheek in my hand. "Shhhh…I'm here now, love. I won't leave you again."
"You cheated death to get back to me," Belle says quietly. I had to agree. In a sense I did. I survived when countless others did not. I just hum in agreement. Though we hadn't actually seen much battle, there were still ambushes and men who were shot and killed from our battalion. And I would never forget Jacob…at night he still haunted my dreams sometimes. Always whispering, "remember" to me, but never really sure of what it was I was supposed to remember.
"And now you'll always be here with me," Belle murmurs, breaking me out of my darkening thoughts.
"Always," I smile, "Stay here, love. I'll find us something to eat."
Belle giggles, "Should I be worried?"
"Of course not!" I scoff, "I'll find us something delicious."
Pulling on my pants that lay discarded on the floor, I head downstairs. The others were all staying with the Whitlocks so that Belle and I could celebrate our marriage. Her mother was so happy, but I feel a twinge of sadness. While I was gone, my mother died of pneumonia, and the Swans received word that my father was also killed in a battle up north. I try not to think of the war that has destroyed the lives of so many and instead focus on finding some food for my new bride. As I rummage through the pantry and kitchen area, I manage to find us some cheese, bread, apples, and some dried meat.
When I return to our new bedroom, I find Belle sitting in front of her mirror brushing her long hair. I pause for a moment in the doorway, just watching her. The light from our window illuminates her and makes her look like an angel. It doesn't escape my attention that Belle is wearing my shirt and it is hanging off her shoulder in the most enticing way. I see Belle smirk at me in the mirror.
"See something you like, Robert?"
I can't help but grin as I walk in with our tray of food. "Maybe."
I set the try down on our bed as Belle sets her brush down and turns and glares at me playfully. As she turns, my shirt slips off her shoulder a little more and I groan softly, the curve of her breast becoming visible. Belle's eyes trail over my body and she clearly sees the reaction my body is having towards her.
"Maybe?" Belle says, standing up and walking towards me. She doesn't bother to adjust the shirt and I moan much louder when he breast slips out. Belle smirks and quickly pulls my shirt back up. She passes my body, brushing against me softly, pausing before she climbs on the bed.
"Too bad…if you said yes, I probably could've put off eating breakfast for a little while."
I growl and grab her hips but Belle clucks her tongue at me.
"Still your hands, Sir. I'm hungry and demand to be fed."
I try to pout and win her over but Belle is not convinced. She climbs on our bed and settles herself, leaning back against the headboard. She picks up a piece of cheese and pops it into her mouth grinning at me. I climb into bed and join her.
"As you wish, my Belle."
Belle grins and leans over, placing a soft kiss on my lips, loving the five words I have always said to her since we were children. I may have been a servant, a slave some might've said, but Belle and her family never treated me as such. We sit and feed each other small bites of food. I am not as hungry as I thought and stop eating, and instead start slicing up the red apple for Belle to snack on. I lie down and finish cutting up the ripe fruit and placing it on the tray.
To my surprise, Belle moves the tray and holds a few pieces of apple in her hand as she burrows down on the bed next to me. My shirt drapes over her body enticingly and I long to see her creamy skin that is hidden under the white cotton. Belle turns on her side and offers me a bite of apple. I snap at it playfully and Belle giggles before placing what remains of the piece in her own mouth.
"Mmmm…so sweet…" I moan, though my thoughts are far from the taste of the apple and instead are thinking of the taste of my wife's luscious skin.
Belle smirks at me before picking up another piece between her fingers. "Do you think these apples taste sweet paired with…anything?"
My brow furrows. I'm not sure what exactly she's asking me.
"Um…sure."
Belle leans over me, her chest pressing against mine, and I groan softly, longing for her soft skin instead of smooth cotton. I think Belle is going to offer me a bite of the apple, and when I open my mouth to accept a piece, she shakes her head at me. I frown at her.
"Close," Belle says.
I do as she says, confused at what game we're playing. Belle traces the piece of apple against my lips, and I can smell the sweet juice from here. I groan as Belle leans down and kisses me…her tongue tracing my lips and nibbling and sucking lightly. I groan and bring one of my hands up to cup the back of her head, but as soon as I do, Belle moves, tracing the apple along my jaw and down my neck. Her lips follow and I moan, finding myself completely hard again.
"Belle…what are you doing?"
"Exploring," she murmurs.
I continue to moan and throb as Belle continues her "exploration" and uses the piece of apple to paint her trail for her lips to follow. Her lips press all over my chest, lingering on my ugly scar, before trailing over my heart and then down the lines of my stomach. I groan and feel myself twitch in my trousers the closer Belle comes the protrusion. I feel ready to explode and growl when Belle stops at the top of my pants and sits up.
"Hmmm…there seems to be something in my way. Whatever shall I do?" Belle asks, an innocent expression on her face.
I nearly growl again, my body so worked up and tense I can barely take it anymore. I move so quickly, I almost knock Belle off the bed, but thankfully she giggles as I kick my pants to the floor. Belle gasps quietly, my naked body on display for her in the morning light. I am hard and throbbing for her. I watch as Belle tosses the piece of apple to the floor and tentatively reaches a hand out to brush against my hardness as she bites her bottom lip.
We had only made love twice. Once in the meadow before I left for the war, giving our virtue to each other, and last night after we married each other in front of God and our families. I moan as her fingers brush softly over me. Before Belle can blink, I move so that she is on her back and I am on top of her.
"Robert!" Belle gasps. I growl and press my face into her neck, nipping and sucking at her skin. Belle giggles and pushes lightly on my shoulders. I lean up on my forearms and look down at her. Belle has never looked so beautiful…her hair splayed out behind her, her skin flush, her eyes full of love, and her mouth spread into a wide smile. I knew I could never survive without her again. I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
"I love you, Belle…" I say seriously, but a smile stretches across my lips, "But now it's my turn to explore."
I lean on one side and slowly begin to unbutton the shirt Belle has on…my shirt. I couldn't deny that I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Belle in nothing but my shirt. If it weren't improper, I would insist she dress that way all the time. I moan softly when I push the shirt away to reveal her naked breasts. Her chest is rising and falling quickly, and the longer I stare, the lower her blush extends to her perfect breasts. I lean down and brush my lips over the soft skin. Belle moans softly, her hands flying to my hair and tugging as I suck her nipple into my mouth.
"Robert…" Belle moans, her body shaking and pressing against mine.
I make my way down her body, reveling in the feel of her soft and smooth skin. Belle's body is quaking and I hear her whimpering as I nip and suck at the skin near her hipbone.
"Robert…please…" Belle pleads. I myself can't take anymore and move so that I am pressed flush against Belle's body.
"Please…" She whimpers again, and I lean down, pressing my lips to her softly.
I fight every urge in my body as I can feel the heat coming from the apex of Belle's thighs. I reach up and brush her cheeks softly. I want her to know how much I love her, how happy she makes me, and how much...more this all is for me. Belle senses the change and she reaches up and brushes my own cheek.
"You're my world," I whisper, "I'd be lost without you."
"I'll always find you," Belle whispers, "And I'm yours. I'll always be yours."
"I love you," I murmur, and repeat over and over, leaning down to brush my lips gently against hers.
Moving slowly, I join our bodies, both of us moaning loudly as I sink into her once more. The air is filled with our moans and soft declarations of love for each other. Belle's body feels amazing, as if she was built just for me, her body welcoming me and fitting against mine perfectly. I lean up on my arms, wanting to see Belle beneath me. As I shift, Belle moans loudly, and I feel her become tighter around me. I still, confused, but Belle tugs at my shoulders.
"Don't stop…more…" She pants. I instantly comply and am treated with another loud moan, as her womanhood seems to clench around me again. It feels so good, I'm sure that I cannot hold off my own pleasure from surging forth. I'm surprised as Belle nearly screams my name, her entire body going tense around me. I groan and shudder…my seed spilling from me as I continue to push myself in and out of Belle's tight body. I collapse…breathing hard and my body feeling completely spent.
Eventually, I roll to the side, slipping out of Belle's warm embrace. We both whimper softly and as I lay on my back, Belle does the same. The room is full of only the sounds of our heavy breathing. I turn on my side to look at my beautiful wife. She is gorgeous in the sunlight, her chest still heaving with her breaths and her skin beautifully flushed and a slight sheen of sweat covering her. I lean down and kiss her cheek.
"What was that, my love? Did I…were you…pleasured?"
Belle opens her brown eyes and looks at me, a smile on her face. "It was…Robert, I don't know how else to describe it. That was the most pleasurable experience I've ever had."
I smile and lean down and kiss her lips again lightly. "I'm glad, my love."
I continue to just gaze at my wife, my fingers slowly tracing over her soft skin. One of her hands finds its way to my hair and she slowly combs her fingers through it. I close my eyes and smile softly. This feels like heaven right here. As my fingers trail over her stomach, another thought comes to my mind. I was no fool…I knew how babies came to be, and the thought that Belle and I could have…that she might be carrying our child…well, the thought pleased me more than I ever thought.
"What are you thinking about?" Belle asks me.
I open my eyes and smile. "Do you think…I mean, do you think we're ready to have children?"
Belle's eyes widen marginally, but she continues to smile sweetly at me. "As long as you're with me, I think we can face anything."
My eyes go back to her stomach where my hand is resting. "A baby, Belle…do you think it will happen?"
"We'll just have to wait and see."
I lie back down, this time snuggling into Belle's side. My hand remains on her stomach and I sigh, feeling completely at peace with the world. Belle continues to run her fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead softly.
"Tell me a story, my Belle," I say quietly.
I hear her chuckle softly. Belle had always been a good storyteller when we were growing up. She knew all kinds of stories aboutfaraway places and times long past. They were of battles and lovers and magic and curses. She knew so many stories, and I loved to listen to them, even when we were children.
"Which would you like to hear about today? Perhaps the tale of Cigna and Murato? The story filled with battles, magic, and lovers? Or maybe we will take a tour of Spain?"
"Mmmm…" I hum, "Battles and magic and lovers."
I nuzzle her breast as I say lovers and Belle giggles again. She turns and curls herself around my body, holding me in her arms for a change.
"The story of Cigna and Murato. It's one you'll never forget, Edward."
I gasp loudly and sit up in my bed. The dreams had never been like that before. Never had they been a continuous stream. When I looked out the window, I noticed the sun was shining now, and could've sworn I saw something that looked like a diamond or something disappear into the shadows of the woods. I blinked my eyes and rubbed them, shaking off the last bits of sleepiness. I groaned when I looked down, once again finding a mess in my boxers. I rubbed the palms of my hands vigorously over my face. The names at the end of the dream stuck out in my head. My Italian was a little rusty…but I was certain "cigna" meant "female swan" and "murato" sounded like "muratore" which meant, "mason". Swan and Mason…Swan and Masen? I shook my head. My mind was playing tricks on me again. As I gingerly made my way towards my bathroom and shower, I froze in the doorway. Two thoughts played through my mind over and over again.
What was I going to say to Carlisle and with dreams like these, how was I going to work with Bella Swan?
Well? Yes? No? Bella and Edward have finally met. If you're disappointed, fear not, the next chapter is from Bella's POV, and she'll have some of the answers you may be looking for. :-D
Let me know what you guys thought, good or bad, pretty please? :-D
