Lily was sitting in the Great Hall alone.

Slughorn's dinner tonight.

She had no idea what on earth the repercussions or any of the results of it would be. Would she leave even more heartbroken and upset than what she already was? Or would something good come from the soirée? Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps. She assumed it was Sev, but when the footsteps seemed to be sounding closer and closer to her, she lifted her gaze to identify who it was walking towards her. McNabb.

"What are you doing here?" She asked rudely, after he had stopped in front of her.

"I suggest you don't go to Slughorn's party and instead go out with Potter."

Lily was astounded at his straight forwardness. It was absurd.

"What the hell? As if I'd ever go out with that toe-"

"Why is he such a toerag? If you like Severus so much then why shouldn't you like Potter?"

"They're two different people-"

"They're not so different. Snape is jealous of Potter. He's always wanted to be more like him, what do you think he's trying to change into now? A pretty boy who shakes his hair and talks to all your friends, trying to impress them, trying to impress you, forcing Slughorn to make sure you attend his party tonight so that he can single you out in front of everyone else-"

"What? No! Slughorn invited me, himself, Sev wouldn't-not even-he talks to my friends but-he doesn't like me like Potter does! He's just trying to get back my friendship! He's-"

"Trying to be a Potter. And think about it. Has Potter ever lied to you? Has he ever called you a mudblood? You may as well go out with him, he's exactly like Potter now! But you know, Potter wants to meet you tonight, after dinner, in the Entrance Hall."

"As if I would ever! No matter what you say! Potter still jinxes people and teases and-"

"He hasn't called Severus 'Snivellus' once this week. He's hardly even looked in his direction."

Lily could not deny the truth of this. There was absolutely no contact between the two during the week. Potter had tried to be nice, no matter how poor a job he had done, with her and with everyone else. Then again, this didn't really mean that it would stop forever. He still approached her with the rest of his gang every time he saw her. She had made up her mind.

"No. There's no way that I will ever go out with James Potter," Lily hissed angrily, "And aren't you supposed to be friends with Sev? Some friend you are, passing on Potter's messages."

With a sudden and for Lily, unexpected jerk, McNabb was speaking in a breathy, suffocated voice, wretching slightly and clutching himself and his eyes stretching the skin in their sockets.

"Severus-no-you-hurt-someone-death-Potter-wants-Avery-has-me-death-eaters-revenge-loves-tell-"

He cut off abruptly and without drama and fell into his former controlled self, straightening up and speaking with stability.

"Think about it a bit more. Potter will be waiting for you."

McNabb walked off, footsteps echoing ghost-like from the floor and between the walls as sunlight began to flood the hall. Lily was left shocked extremely frightened, but not as much as she was angry and confused. McNabb had said something about Death Eaters.

Sev is trying to be Potter. He knows. He's trying to destroy me. He's trying to get revenge. That's what McNabb was talking about. Sev's on his way to becoming a Death Eater.

Sev had a good dinner, but had early on noticed Lily's disappearance. Whenever she rejected him in any way now, he felt a small ache in his chest. He waved his goodbyes to his friends and headed back to Slytherin, not even noticing the strange glazed look on McNabb's face. He collected his pyjamas from his dorm and decided to head down to the showers. He needed a soothing hot shower to calm him. He decided to wash his hair for the dinner the next day, to make sure that he was clean and fresh, and looking half-decent.

Lily. Would she show up? Would she reject him again? A queasy pang went through his stomach this time. He was much more emotional than usual lately (something he detested thoroughly), and tears threatened the rims of his eyes. He hated himself for it. Running two hands over his face, eyes, nose, he raised his head and let the water fall on his face.

Please, Lily. I don't know how long I can wait.

Sev had finished up in the bathroom and ambled back to Slytherin. His dorm was only occupied by McNabb.

"Thanks for telling me where you went, mate."

"Oh, sorry, I was in the-"

Sev was about to finish with "in the bathroom" but suddenly something strange caught in his throat and his voice came out raspy. Once he cleared it, he finally said, "I was in the bathroom", but it did not sound like him at all. His voice was much, much deeper, silkier and more resonant of calming tones.

"Woah, what?" He said in his new voice. "My-name-is-Severus-Snape. Holy Hippogriffs. What is with this?"

"Your voice broke, it seems," McNabb commented, "And shit is it deep. It doesn't look like you belong to your voice anymore."

"Shut up, I'll grow."

Sev got into bed, said night in his hum of a voice and drew his curtains, casting protective spells. He had done his thinking in the shower and got some rest for the coming day.

Sev had another odd dream, it was ominously frightening. He saw McNabb out near a tree on the grounds, basking in the sunlight. He went to join him and sit, doing the same thing. He closed his eyes but when he lost view of the world, he heard a voice that melted in his ears.

"Sev. Open your eyes," Lily's voice said. He could imagine her milky skin, clashing majestically with her crimson hair and green eyes. He tried to open his eyes, but they didn't. They couldn't move, no matter how he tried to make them.

"Sev," Lily breathed softly onto his face. He could feel her presence, so close to him, it was as if the hairs on the tip of his nose could feel hers, and he knew her arms were leaning on either said of him. He still couldn't open his eyes, but what he would have given to see her. Suddenly, his eyes were open, but there was no Lily, no tree, no light, no anything. Black. But suddenly a face loomed out from the darkness. Potter.

"You can't change her mind once it's made up. She's chosen me."

"What? No, no," He said, but in his old, higher-pitched voice.

"And Mulciber, McNabb, all your Slytherin buddies are my friends now. We're all friends, you're nothing. You're not good enough for anyone." Potter's face was fading into a wisp of white smoke, swirling around him.

"No, no, Lily..."

Sev opened his eyes and realised he was lying in his four-poster, safe and with the world still spinning.

"Just a dream, just a dream..." he murmured to himself.

After a shower and a fix up of his hair, he headed to the Great Hall. Of course, as she had been all week, Lily was in there, but this time she looked up at him.

"What is wrong with you?" She said in a highly accusatory voice. It reverberated through the hall and buzzed in his ears. He was speechless.

"All of you, you're all messed up. McNabb, Mulciber, you'll all become Death Eaters, I swear it! You're just trying to be some Death Eater James Potter, that's what you're doing!" Lily was now in tears of fury, but Sev felt that there was something else, hidden behind the expression. He walked right up to her this time, instead of his usual journey to the Slytherin table.

"I'm not a Death Eater," He spoke calmly, yet defiantly, "And I'll never be one of those evil bastards. And I'll never be Potter. And I have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to McNabb. You probably know this from listening to our conversations but he wants to work with magical creatures. He never wanted to be a Death Eater. We'll talk about this tonight, but if you love Potter so much, don't come at all, I'll give Slughorn some story."

And at that, Sev turned smoothly and strolled straight out the door and onto the grounds outside.

-

Lily couldn't believe herself, but with all the information she was processing, she wanted to go to the dinner. She needed to know what Sev knew, what he had to say. She wasn't going to cave in though. She loved him, but she would never forgive him. She would not go out with Potter, there was no one else she loved.

I'm going to die alone.

She cried. The hall was empty and even if people started walking in, she wouldn't care. She cried out her heart, her soul, all the water in her body. No heartbreak could possibly hurt any person as much as it was hurting her now. A strange feeling was passing through every point in her body, and days of lack of nutrition, restlessness and other tears were suddenly horribly wearing.

Sev. Sev. Why, Sev?

Her head pounded. There was nothing she could do about it. As people began to stream in and her friends came to her side, they also immediately came to her aid.

"Lily, honey, what's wrong?" Mary consoled her and put an arm round her shoulders.

Lily wanted to tell them what was up with Sev. To warn them.

"I don't care what you guys say anymore," She said between tears, "You're not hanging out with Sev anymore. Don't you see what he is? What he's doing? I've been right all along."

"What are you talking about, Lil?" Ell questioned.

"I'm talking about how his friend McNabb just came to me to tell me what he's all about. Severus is lying, to all of us. He's still becoming a Death Eater."

"What?" Alice said rather with some force, "No, he can't be Lily. Really now, don't be going on about this again-"

"I'm not hypothesizing Alice! McNabb just told me that Sev is trying to get in with the crowd so that he can trick you!"

"Did he seriously say that straight out? Or are you bending his words?"

Lily was becoming angry. That's not what McNabb had said but she knew what he meant and knew if they had that they would agree.

"Well…no, but that's what he clearly implied! He went all deranged and started choking out words, you know, Severus, Death Eater, Avery and all those words tie into one thing and you know what it is!"

"Lily, I don't know, I think I'd like to ask him myself…"

Most of breakfast followed this trend of conversation, Lily trying eagerly to persuade her friends of his trickery, and them denying it.

-

Sev couldn't believe her. All he was doing and he was still "trying to be James Potter". She was obsessed! Alice was wrong! She didn't love him, she always talked about Potter, about what a 'toerag' he was, about how he's always ruffling his hair and showing off on his broom every other day. She didn't dislike that stuff, she loved it, but she was trying to repress her feelings. It was about time she finally go out with him. Sev kept walking towards the lake and with every tree he passed, he violently yanked a handful of leaves off of a branch and threw them on the ground wildly. He reached the lake, absolutely furious, enmity pulsing through the veins in his body, enmity aimed towards the entire world. He stood at the edge of the lake and looking once around at the panoramic view, he yelled. He yelled in his deep voice and birds flew from the trees in the Forbidden Forest. He yelled, his voice booming, and his voice returned to him in the mountains and through the open air. He yelled until his lungs were dry, his back and chest arching. When he felt his lungs could no longer withstand the pressure, he gasped, breathing heavily and shaking all over. His legs were suddenly carrying themselves into the water and he was splashing in it, his robes getting soaked, his legs completely saturated as he entered until waist height. He took a few deep breaths, then plunged his head beneath the water. It was icy, even in the summer weather, but he didn't care. He yelled. A jet of bubbles shot out of his mouth as the oxygen in his lungs poured out into a passionate fury, exhausting his organs once more. He surfaced and took tremulous breaths. He turned and sloshed onto the edge of the lake again, but fell onto his back, into the water so that just his nose and mouth remained above the water. He laid there for minutes. Maybe hours. Perhaps it was only mere seconds. But he felt as if his world was ending in an apocalyptic explosion. He did not want to get up. He did not ever want to have to get up. He did not want to go to Slughorn's party anymore. He wanted to lie in the water until his skin wrinkled and shrivelled up, until he was nothing but an ugly remnant of what he used to be. An unloved, unwanted fool who was branded a Death Eater, a murderer, by the only woman he ever loved. He was nothing. The three-quarters of Severus Snape would never be complete. What was the point in life anymore?

"Severus," He heard a calm and gentle voice say. He thought that he was beginning to hear things, but the calling of his name became more persistent, yet the calm in the voice did not waver.

"Mr. Snape, would you please open your eyes."

Sev opened his eyes finally and his peripherals saw a tall figure, clothed with royal blue robes, half-moon spectacles arching over his crooked nose. He still said nothing.

"Severus, it would be best not to wallow in your dejection in this water. The grindylows might take a risk at snatching you from the shallow waters."

Sev closed his eyes once more and sighed, a long, deep sigh, and sat up, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around his legs.

"What do you want, Professor?" Sev made no effort to conceal rudeness in his voice and wore a look of pain, not looking into Dumbledore's eyes but straight ahead of himself.

"I want to talk about you, Severus," Dumbledore said, ignoring Sev's attitude and speaking as calmly as he was before. Sev remained silent.

"Professor Slughorn has been telling me that you are quite the new man lately."

Sev shrugged, maintaining an expression of disinterest.

"I have also heard from the many ears I have in this castle that yourself and Miss Evans have had quite the feud. I know what you did outside Gryffindor tower, I do have a window."

Sev did not react to his words at all. Dumbledore was as serene as ever as water dripped from Sev's hair.

"Severus, I know of love. And it does not do well to drown in it."

"What do you know of love?" Sev abruptly burst out, "How can you possibly understand what I am feeling right now? Do you know how it feels to be cut out of the life of the only person you have ever loved and be replaced by the person you hate most?"

Dumbledore smiled strangely and said, "Well...no. I can't say that I have experienced the second part," Sev looked up at Dumbledore, curious about the remark, "But I have had my own bad experiences. We intelligent men must be resilient. No good will be achieved for anyone else, especially for that loved one, if we cease to make an effort in our lives. It would not help anyone."

"Lily wouldn't even care if I died right now."

"I would think otherwise. Listen, Severus, go to Professor Slughorn's dinner tonight. You may be enlightened. And I think that the frivolity of the night may cheer you up a bit! So please, get up out of the water, have something to eat and prepare for your party!"

"Why on Earth are you here anyway, Professor?"

"Why? Because I care about my students, Severus, and if I've been informed that one of them has been yelling his lungs dry, then appearing as if he's attempting to drown himself, I would be concerned. A hypothetical situation, of course," He added with a wink.

Sev gave an unamused huff and said, "Well, you don't have to be concerned. I'm damn fine. I've always been bloody fine by myself. Alone. Don't worry about me. No one else does."

"I beg to differ, Severus. I think a certain Lily Evans would-"

"She wouldn't give a damn FUCK about me even if I got on my knees in front of her and asked her to. Don't give me false hope."

Dumbledore's understanding expression did not become reproving.

"Severus, trust me when I say all will be fine. It is now round noon, please eat something and I implore that you attend your Head of House's dinner."

Sev gave Dumbledore one disdainful look, got up and stalked off up the grounds, soaking wet, with passers-by and students merely relaxing looking at him with quizzical looks upon their faces. He went straight into the Great Hall, several faces turned in his direction as many fell silent at the sight of him. He took an apple from Slytherin table and walked straight back out of the hall. Making his way to his common room, Sev passed Lily without a single glance in her direction as her gaze followed him, shocked, all the way to the entrance of the dungeons.

-