The next day, Billy is almost certain that he must have imagined the whole thing. Lack of sleep, maybe, or perhaps Neil whacked him too hard over the head. No way did something that felt that good actually happen to Billy Hargrove. And even if it did – Steve would have had plenty of time to think it over since yesterday. Plenty of time to regret what happened. Steve's a smart guy, he'll have realized that Billy's no good for him.

So Billy steels himself for what is to come and resigns himself to pretend like nothing happened – because it couldn't have, or maybe it shouldn't have – but then Steve ambushes him and drags him into the boys' bathroom (which is thankfully empty) seconds before classes start, and all Billy's doubts evaporate when Steve kisses him. He kisses back, without thinking, and presses Steve up against the tiled wall.

When they break off, Steve is smirking.

"Missed me?"

Billy leans back, and it takes a second to get it into his head that this is reality now, so he licks his lips and watches Steve's eyes follow the movement.

"You're the one who dragged me in here, Harrington."

Steve surges forward and grazes Billy's bottom lip with his teeth, and Billy presses in closer.

"That's true", Steve says, right next to his ear. "Didn't want to give you time to freak out."

Billy doesn't want to admit, to himself or to Steve, that he wasn't really freaking out – just prepared himself for disappointment – so he takes a step back, runs his tongue over his teeth and levels Steve with a challenging stare.

"Who's freaking out? I'll have you know that I'm the epitome of calm and collected."

And it's a filthy, filthy lie of course, which is why it makes Steve throw his head back and guffaw. It makes something bloom in Billy's chest, and he can't wrap his head around the fact that he hasn't been doing this all along. So many months in this place; wasted. To hell with his image, to hell with his reputation – as long as he can make Steve laugh like that, he doesn't care. It's a beautiful sound, better than anything Billy has ever heard.

"Yes", Steve says when his laugh has turned into chuckles. "So calm and collected. That's what you're known for around here. Calm King Billy."

"That's me", Billy nods, and leans in closer for another kiss.

Half a minute later he is able to convince himself to back away again, and clears his throat.

"We're gonna be late."

"See you in detention then", Steve says and winks – winks; that's Billy's move! – as he moves to open the door.

Billy shakes his head as he follows – the hallway is empty, because they are indeed late – and he lets some faux-disappointment into his voice.

"Am I corrupting you already, Harrington?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Hargrove. Didn't you hear? I was the resident bad boy until you rolled into town."

"Haven't seen any evidence of that until just now, though."

They banter on the way to their respective classes, and it feels so natural, like they've been doing this for years.

It hits Billy halfway through his first class of the day, that he probably should freak out just about now. The normal reaction to this kind of situation would surely be to freak out. Everything he's been taught and everything he's ever known is grounds for a freak-out of epic proportions; yet when he thinks about it, all he can muster up is a warm feeling of … disbelief, maybe. And gratitude.

It's new for him, but he's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Billy has been through some shit, okay, and he's been an asshole for a long time. He thinks that maybe the universe has made a mistake – because he can't possibly deserve things like this – but not a lot in his life has been feeling this good lately, so he'll take this any way he can, for as long as he can.

And he doesn't even really know what this is, or what he can do to make it work, but he's sure as hell gonna try. The universe will have to pry it from his cold, dead hands.


During the following days, they continue like this; hang out as usual when people can see, and steal kisses and touches when people can't see. It makes school bearable, and almost like an adventure in itself; Billy hasn't skipped once since that Monday.

And he hadn't realized that this was what he wanted, but now that it has happened he can't understand how he went through the days without it, and the thing is that it changes things. It changes him, and he finds himself not really minding. He's still an ass, but he says things less to hurt now, and more to tease – most people haven't caught on yet, though – and he's still a hot-head, but Steve is always able to calm him down with a word, or a touch, or even just a look.

The situation in the Hargrove household hasn't changed, but Billy finds it easier to swallow his pride and just keep himself from talking back nowadays; finds it easier to take a shove or a slap or a biting comment when he has something good to look forward to. So when he's face to face with Neil and grits out a "Yes sir" or "No sir" between his teeth, he's thinking about Steve. The way he smiled from the other end of the hallway, or the way he ducked his head with a blush when Billy wagged his tongue at him from across the classroom, or how much Billy'd like to find out whether Steve is ticklish (because if he is, that would mean easy access to Steve's laughter).

And Steve isn't freaking out, either, which surprises Billy at the same time as it really doesn't surprise him – because Steve can be spazzy as hell at times, but he's also got the air of someone who will not let the small things ruffle him. It's a good look on him, and Billy would be jealous if he didn't feel it rubbing off on him a little every time they're together.

Steve still comes to school tense, but that tension bleeds out of him the moment they find somewhere to be alone together.

They can't let anyone know about this. They haven't even discussed it, but they both know that what they have is theirs and theirs alone, and that it would be inviting trouble to let people know. So they pretend like nothing has changed when there are people around, and they try to find time to be alone; and when they are they kiss, and they touch, and it is so good.


The first time it goes further than kissing is at Steve's house. It's the second time Billy is there – the first time, he met with Steve's mother, which was a somewhat surreal experience as she invited him to have dinner with them and he didn't get a chance to decline. That evening found him at the table between Steve and his mother, eating what was probably supposed to be an exotic version of meatloaf and potatoes, trying to make conversation like normal people do while Steve was nudging him with his foot under the table. Billy would move his feet away, trying to pretend nothing was happening, but Steve's would end up touching him anyway, and Billy would forget what he was saying in the middle of a sentence or miss his mouth with his fork. Mrs Harrington probably thought he was a little … odd. It didn't help that he caught Steve trying – and failing – to smother a smile several times during dinner. Billy mouthed You're such an asshole at him when mrs Harrington took the plates out into the kitchen, and Steve just grinned at him.

But this time Steve is alone in the house. It's a Saturday and Billy is officially at a party – it's not like Neil will check, probably; as long as Billy is home when he's supposed to be and doesn't cause any trouble, Neil usually doesn't care – which means that he's really next to Steve in his living room sofa, with Steve's parents blessedly gone for the weekend.

They're watching a movie, although Billy isn't paying much attention to the TV. Instead he's glancing over at where Steve is sitting next to him, wearing a yellow T-shirt and soft grey pants. Steve is barefoot, and Billy can't stop staring at his feet, for some reason. The urge to see if Steve is ticklish is strong, and he is contemplating just attacking the other boy to find out when Steve looks over.

"Why are you staring at my feet?"

Billy's eyes widen while Steve's narrow in suspicion, and there's really no good answer to give to that question, so Billy goes for denial:

"Uh. I'm not."

Steve isn't buying it; he sits up, plants his feet on the floor – there goes Billy's chance of testing his ticklish theory – and turns to face Billy.

"Dude. Are you, like, into feet …?"

"What!? No! What?!"

Billy can't do anything but splutter, and the look on his face must be pure outrage, because Steve takes one look at his face and bursts into laughter. He laughs until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Your face!" he eventually manages.

Billy levels him with a deadpan stare, which only makes Steve laugh even more, and to be honest Billy has to fight hard against the laugh that wants to bubble out of him, too. It's a fight he eventually loses, and it's a nice feeling, to have someone to laugh with. It gives him a warm sensation in his chest.

"You know", Steve stutters when he has calmed down some, and tries – and fails – to look serious, "there's nothing wrong with liking feet …"

"Shut up!" Billy snaps and shoves Steve – who's back to laughing, great – down on the couch. "I don't like your stinking feet!"

And what, is Billy five years old? Never mind, Steve is laughing at him again; Billy's pride demands vengeance.

"For your information, I was thinking of testing a theory."

Steve settles in against the pillow and looks up at Billy, raises a challenging eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What?"

Billy's smile turns wicked, and he leans over Steve.

"I was going to see if you were … ticklish."

He attacks at the same time as Steve shrieks and tries to escape. He succeeds in rolling away, but ends up on the floor where Billy is on him, attacking his sides with his fingers – and look at that, Billy's theory was correct; Steve is ticklish. At least that's the conclusion Billy comes to from the way Steve is laughing and squirming under him.

"No no no nonoNO! Ah, Billy, Billy, stop, please, hahaha!"

It is, he realizes with a start, the first time Steve has used his first name. It makes the warmth in Billy's chest spread to his belly – and probably his cheeks too, judging from how warm they feel. Steve is an absolute mess who is gasping for breath and laughing on the floor, and Billy is filled with the now familiar almost proud feeling of I did that. And he will continue doing it, too, if it means that Steve will continue laughing.

Steve makes a last desperate attempt to get away, though, and grabs Billy's wrists and pushes them away from his body at the same time as he tries to kick him off. This results in Billy falling forward, catching himself on his elbows with his face almost touching Steve's, and with one of Steve's legs between his own and –

Oh. Okay. They're close.

"Theory confirmed", Billy says – it's most certainly not a squeak – and doesn't move.

Steve has stopped laughing, and the look on his face is not one Billy recognizes; curious, almost calculating. He licks his lips.

"Yeah. Wanna test another one?"

He's not waiting for a reply, only surges up and kisses Billy and this? Billy knows this, they've been doing this – but it's also something new, because of the positions they're in, and it is intense. Steve moves his leg, and Billy gasps.

"Steve …"

Fuck it, they're definitely on a first name basis now. Steve moans into his mouth and that's it, Billy will never call Steve anything else ever again, if that's the sound he'll make when Billy uses his first name.

Then Steve's mouth is tracing his jaw and Billy swears breathlessly when he hears his earring clink against Steve's teeth. He feels Steve chuckle against him and sits up, dragging Steve with him.

And he wants to touch Steve so badly, but he doesn't know where to start. For the meantime he runs his hands through his hair – messing up that hair is one of his favorite things to do – and that's when Steve backs off a little, just enough to look him in the eyes. There's a question in his raised eyebrows, and he is tentatively reaching down but stops himself before he's actually touching.

"Is this okay …?"

And Billy yearns for Steve's hands on him, for his own hands to touch Steve, to get closer to him, and there is disbelief in his voice when he manages:

"Okay? Are you kidding me? Fuck yes!"

And then Steve's hands are working on his pants, and Billy only has time to marvel at how brave Steve is to always take that first step, before Steve's hands are on him. Billy's breath catches in his throat and he stops thinking; just letting the sensations wash over him.

Afterwards, when he's left breathless with his back against the sofa, he is overcome with something that he can't put words to but that feels a little like gratitude and a lot like affection. His mouth is dry but he feels like he's underwater, like everything is slightly out of focus – except for Steve, who is looking at Billy as if Billy is something … valuable. Like he can't believe that Billy is really there.

Billy knows the feeling, knows that it's probably mirrored on his own face.

"Steve …?"

"Yeah, Billy."

"Can I …?"

Steve only nods, and Billy reaches down to reciprocate.

He watches Steve the whole time. Watches him close his eyes, bite his lip, open his mouth to gasp for breath. Watches his chest rising and falling with increasing frequency when he gets closer and his breathing quickens. Watches him throw his head back on a shuddering exhale when he can't hold back any longer.

Billy watches him the whole time, and he wishes he could make this moment last forever, because Steve is beautiful like this, and Billy did this to him, he made Steve feel good for once, he did this.