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DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life
Detective Kate Beckett sat at her desk, staring intently at her phone. One ring, two rings... Seven rings, before her call went to voicemail.
It had been two weeks since Castle had left on his book tour. Every day since that conversation in the Old Haunt, she had tried to call him, and every day she had reached his voicemail. Frustrated, and with no open cases on hand to distract her, Beckett shoved her chair away from her desk. Shrugging on her jacket, she decided to take a trip to the morgue, to have a chat with Lanie.
"Girl, I don't know what you want to hear from me." said the ME, arranging her instruments on a tray.
"Just... Lane, this is not the Castle I know. What the hell is going on with him?" exclaimed Kate, throwing up her hands towards the ceiling.
Lanie sat down in a chair in front of the slab Beckett was seated on. Frowning, she looked at her best friend, "Kate, maybe he just needs a little space. I hate to say this, but maybe he's tired of waiting for you. Maybe he's trying to move on."
Kate had told Lanie about Castle's confession a few days ago. Needless to say, Lanie had been shocked, but she recovered fairly quickly with a shaky 'Girl imma smack you.'
Beckett's eyes widened slightly.
"He wouldn't. Lane, he can't. Not now, when I'm so close..." she choked, burying her head in her hands. Lanie just rubbed her back sympathetically, not knowing how to comfort the detective. Kate straightened up after a moment, shaking her head.
"But that doesn't explain why he's not answering my calls, not even sending me so much as a text.
The first couple of days, I convinced myself that he was probably busy. He is on a book tour, after all. But now I don't know what to think. Is he ignoring my calls as an extension of his weird behaviour before he left, or is he lying in a ditch somewhere, dead?" she trailed off, her voice breaking on the last word.
"Kate, stop thinking like that. Castle is just fine, nothing is gonna happen to him. But, for your satisfaction, why don't you call his mother to make sure?" suggested Lanie, trying to ease her worry.
Kate took a deep breath, before squaring her shoulders and hopping off the slab.
"You're right, Lanie. I'm probably overreacting." she said, sounding more like Detective Beckett now. Her concern still won over her pride, though.
"I'm going to call Martha, just in case. Thanks Lane." she said, quickly hugging her friend before striding out of the morgue.
The ME looked up for a moment before resuming her work, sending a silent prayer to whatever powers were listening.
Kate speed dialled Castle's loft as she made her way back to the precinct.
"Castle residence." came the answer after three rings.
"Martha, hey, it's Kate."
"Katherine darling, what can I do for you?"
Kate frowned upon hearing the diva's response. Her tone was slightly cool, lacking her usual infectious warmth.
"I-umm..." she stuttered, "Is Castle okay?" she blurted out.
"Richard? Yes, I'm sure he's fine." replied Martha. "Why, is something wrong?" questioned Martha, concern creeping into her voice.
Beckett immediately felt bad for worrying Martha like that.
"Oh, no, Martha, nothing like that." she assured the older woman, sounding sheepish. "This might sound silly, but, well, I've been trying to call Castle for days now, but he hasn't answered any of my calls, and I was worried something might have happened to him." replied Beckett, her words rushing into each other towards the end.
There was silence on the other end. When Martha finally spoke, she didn't sound worried anymore, but her voice was heavy with something Kate couldn't quite discern. Sorrow? Regret?
"Yes, I see. Katherine, I'm sure Richard has his reasons for not contacting you. He will reach out to you when he is ready." replied Martha. "Nevertheless, I will pass on your concern to him when I speak with him." finished the thespian.
Thanking Martha and ending the call, Beckett let out a frustrated growl.
Castle's mother definitely knew more than she was saying, and this made two people telling her, directly or otherwise, to back off and give Castle some space.
Beckett reached the precinct gym, quickly changed into her workout clothes and slammed her locker door shut.
As she pounded the punching bag, Kate thought back to all the times Castle had pushed her. Every time she'd tried to pull away, he'd been right there, prodding her and pestering her in an effort to get her to open up to him. Never once had he walked away from her when something troubled her. He'd stood by her on the worst days, helping her weather the storms.
So why should let him pull away now? If she was the source of this chasm between them, then it was her responsibility to go to him, to pursue the issue until the chasm was bridged, and things went back to normal.
Beckett stopped the bag with her hands. That's it. She would just go to him, sort things out face to face, where he couldn't avoid her, couldn't run away.
Only problem was, she had no idea which city he was in, or where he would be going next.
A quick shower and a change of clothes later, Beckett knocked on the door of Captain Gates' office.
"Come in."
Kate walked in and stood before Gates, fidgeting with the badge on her belt.
"Yes, detective?"
"Sir, since we have no active cases, I would like to have permission to take the next couple of days off." said Beckett.
"May I enquire as to the reason behind this sudden request, detective?" asked Gates, raising an eyebrow.
"I'd like to visit my father, sir, spend some time with him. He's not keeping so well." Kate lied with a completely straight face.
"I'm sorry to hear that detective. Well, you have accumulated nearly three months of paid leave, so I don't see why we can't give you the weekend, and Monday, off." said the Captain, returning to her paperwork.
Beckett hadn't expected this to be quite so easy, but she took the win.
"Thank you, sir." she said, before exiting the office. Victoria Gates looked up at the door once it shut behind the detective. "Sick father, my ass." she muttered to herself, snorting in a very un-ladylike manner.
Emerging into the bullpen, Beckett walked over to her desk and quickly packed up her stuff. When she was all set, she looked around for Ryan and Espo, but the boys were nowhere to be found.
Probably gone for a cheeseburger, she thought to herself. Grabbing a Post-It pad, she scribbled a message to them before removing the paper and sticking it to Espo's monitor.
'I'm leaving for the day. I've taken time off till Monday. See you boys Tuesday.
KB'
Letting herself into her apartment, Beckett changed and made herself a strong cup of coffee before settling on her couch, phone in hand. She scrolled through her contacts before she found the one she needed. Hitting the call button, she took a sip of her coffee as the phone rang.
"Black Pawn Publishing. This is Gina Cowell." came the publisher's voice through the phone.
Ever since that fateful summer when Castle had left her to go to the Hamptons with Gina, Kate had taken a slight disliking to the blonde. Okay, maybe not so slight. She would have preferred to speak to Paula, but she knew that the publicist usually travelled with Castle, and the last thing she wanted was Castle to get wind of her plans.
"Gina, hi, it's Detective Kate Beckett."
"Detective Beckett, what a surprise⦠I think you'll be happy to hear that Heat Rises has been doing extremely well, especially since Rick started his book tour."
"That's great, Gina. Congratulations." She tried her best to summon up the appropriate level of enthusiasm, but her voice sounded flat, even to her own ears.
Gina must have picked up on it as well. "But I'm sure you didn't call me to find out about book sales. So, what can I do for you, detective?"
The slight condescension in the way the publisher spoke the word 'detective' raised Kate's hackles, but she suppressed her annoyance. Now is not the time for that, she reminded herself.
"Actually, Gina, my Captain wants Castle's book tour itinerary, for some reason. I was wondering if you would be able to mail it to me?"
Kate couldn't think of a plausible reason for wanting Castle's itinerary, but she hoped that making it seem like a request from her superior would be enough to convince Gina to oblige her without asking too many questions.
There was a pause for a moment on the other end, before Gina's voice came back, cool and crisp as ever.
"Of course, Detective Beckett, that shouldn't be a problem at all. I'll have my assistant send the itinerary over to you within the hour."
Kate silently thanked her lucky stars, before thanking the publisher out loud, and ending the call.
She stared at her phone as she drank the rest of her rapidly cooling coffee, willing the e-mail notification to pop up on the screen. As soon as it came, she snatched up the phone, scrolling hastily through his itinerary until she reached that day's schedule.
Boston. He's in Boston, and he's gonna be there till noon on the day after.
As she booted her laptop, Kate's fingers tapped against the keys, belying the nervous energy that filled her.
Half an hour later, she shut the laptop with a determined click, having booked the first flight into Logan he next morning. Gina's itinerary had also given her the name of Castle's hotel, enabling her to book herself into a smaller hotel a couple of blocks from his.
Kate made a quick call to her father to let him know that she would be out of town for the next couple of days. She could almost hear Jim raise his eyebrows when she told him to pretend to be sick in the off chance that anyone from the precinct called.
"Katie, what's going on? Is everything okay? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're finally taking time off, but why are you lying about it?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, dad, everything is fine." assured Kate, running a hand across her brow.
"Katie... Tell me the truth." said Jim, gently.
His words reminded Kate of her teenage years, and the times she'd snuck out with Maddie or her boyfriend. When she got home, her dad would be waiting for her, arms crossed over his chest and a stern expression on his face, while her mother tried and failed to suppress a grin.
Each time, that was how his interrogation would start.
The memory filled Kate's eyes with tears. "It's Castle, dad... He's not been the same recently." she began shakily. Half an hour later, she had spilled her guts to her father, telling him everything that happened, from that day at the cemetery to the fight at the Old Haunt.
"Oh, Katie, honey, you go put this right, right now." said Jim, when she finished. "After your mother died, you stopped smiling, stopped enjoying your life, until Rick came along. That man is the best thing that happened to you since then, baby, so you tell him how you feel, and don't let him go." he finished.
Kate gave a watery chuckle. "Yeah, dad, that's the plan. I love you."
"Love you too, honey. Now go get your man!" exclaimed Jim, before hanging up.
Tossing her phone aside, Kate spent the next hour packing a small duffel with essentials to last her two days, before getting into bed. For the first time in weeks, she felt the knot in her stomach start to loosen.
Hopefully, the next 48 hours would see her and Castle's rift mended, and order restored to her universe.
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