A/N: Thanks everybody who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story! You guys make it worth it. I'm SO SORRY for taking so long to update. I've got a ten-month-old baby who makes writing a little difficult and life has been a little hectic lately, so I haven't had much time. But here you go! Enjoy!

Anatui


Monday, 4 October

Weight: 134 lb.
Calories: approx. 1,873
Drinks: 0 (very good)
Cigarettes: 9
Hours studying: 2

9 a.m.

Luckily, spiders don't frighten me too much.

But I must admit. I caved.

I didn't want to. I mean, I REALLY didn't want to. But sleeping in the common room really didn't sound like a good idea, and I didn't want to have to be up with McGonagall and the other girls in order to deal with them. So being exhausted, I went where I knew there was a bed.

I totally caved.

Sirius, the complete wanker that he is, accepted me with open arms and let me pass out in his bed with him without a problem.

None of the blokes mentioned a thing about the tarantulas, which is good because I really wanted to sleep instead of lose my temper with them.

When I ventured back into the dorm, it was spider-free, and the other girls were all getting up slowly, each looking more tired than the rest. They had probably been up for a long time, trying to find each and every last tarantula. Even if it was caving, I'm glad I actually got some sleep last night. It was almost worth it.


Wednesday, 6 October

Weight: 133 lb.
Calories: approx. 2,106
Drinks: 0 (but need 12)
Cigarettes: 22
Hours studying: 1/2 (awful)
Scheming friends: Loads

11 p.m.

A couple hours ago, I was cornered while studying in the library. Corner by Lily, Mary, Jones, and Vance. They looked angry. Apparently because they decided that the only person who could have possibly put those tarantulas in the dorm would be the Marauders and their friends. Meaning MY friends.

Let me say this. Lily Evans is truly terrifying when she is angry.

They dragged me back to the dorm and berated me with questions about the situation.

"We know what's going on," Lily began, sitting across from me primly. "We know those boys are up to something, and we want to do something about it."

"Yeah," said Jones. "You had to be in on the spiders. You left right away."

They all nodded in agreement.

"So honestly," continued Lily, "WHY ARE YOU PRANKING US?"

Okay, seriously. I have done almost no pranking this year. Which, I must admit, is completely and utterly strange. I'm normally much more in tune with James and Sirius, and I almost always help them out when they want to throw a hex or two at Snivellus, and of course with anything much more complex. But this year has been different.

"I'm not pranking anyone!" I cried, completely defensive. "Honest. I didn't put the tarantulas in here, though I don't deny that it had to have been my mates. It couldn't have been anyone else. But I haven't been involved at all, I swear."

They all stared at me in disbelief. Which wasn't at all a shock, because why would they believe me?

I heaved a deep sigh and finally admitted aloud, "I think they're pranking me."

Mary snorted. "Yeah right."

"Why would they do that?" asked Lily.

"I have absolutely no fucking idea," I said, "but last week, they stole my knickers. So did any of yours get stolen and I didn't hear about it? Because otherwise, I'm pretty sure they're just trying to prank me."

They each looked at each other and shook their heads no.

"Why didn't you say anything, Zig?" Mary asked.

"We could help you," Lily offered, her face softening.

With a shrug, I told them, "I don't need help." Their faces distinctly told me that they didn't understand. "Look, I know them. They've been my mates for years now, and hell, I'm related to James. It's not like I haven't been pranked before. We've messed with each other on numerous occasions. It's just never been so… one-sided before." I inhaled sharply. "I'm planning my revenge, trust me. But these pranks are different, so I need to figure out something first. Like the very important WHY question. Because I have no fucking clue. But I AM planning something."

They stared at me skeptically for a while, and eventually we went to bed. They don't understand. Not that I'd expect them to. But it's not like we're even friends, not really. So why would they want to help me? They just want to exact their revenge on the boys for whatever reason. And they're doing that without me no problem. What would be gained by me joining in on the planning?

Aside from helping with the planning.

Actually, that might be a really good idea. Because obviously I need to keep tabs on these girls. I have no idea what they're planning. Maybe I better ask them for their help and get in on the scheming.

Why is everyone around me scheming?! I'm tired of this.


Thursday, 7 October

Weight: probably same
Calories: approx. 1,984
Drinks: 0
Cigarettes: 15
Hours studying: 3.5 (rudely interrupted)
Panicking best mates: 1
Evil conniving girls: 1 (at the very least)

7 p.m.

James just came running into the common, face as pearly white as Nearly Headless Nick. I think something horrible just happened. No idea what, but I've got to find out. Even if this means I won't get any more studying done. Dammit.

1:13 a.m.

Well.

That was… something.

I don't know if I've ever seen James so upset - not even over Lily Evans. When I guessed something horrible had happened, that was an understatement.

Luckily, the boys' dorm was empty, so we hid in there and talked for quite a while. He was all jittery, completely freaking out, and he refused to say anything at first. So I just let him fret in silence until he couldn't handle it anymore.

"Sigourney," he began (gods, it HAD to be serious for him to use my given name), "I'm not sure how to talk about this, but I need to discuss it with someone and I don't know who else to talk to."

I shrugged, signally him to keep talking.

"Well, you know Chevalier, right?" he said slowly, and I nodded. He continued as if I had no clue who she was. "You know, Isabeau Chevalier. Leggy. Beautiful. From the romance capital of the world." He paused a moment, and I considered the fact that he almost sounded like Sirius. "The girl that Padfoot is arse over tits for." He lets that hang in the air for a moment, and I finally decide to speak.

"Yeah. What about her?"

Suddenly, he was sheepish, avoiding eye contact and letting his words jumble together. "Well, she kind of talked to me just now, and she's really forward, and she has to know how ridiculously pretty she is, and it's a good thing I'm in love with Lily, and I'm not sure she realizes that Sirius is my best mate because she very obviously and unceremoniously just tried to remove my trousers." He finished speaking, finally turning on me for the full effect. His eyes were nearly bloodshot from frustration and concern and perhaps a little bit of paranoia that Sirius would waltz in the room at any moment.

"She WHAT?" I almost yelled.

I mean, I knew she was a bit of a cunt, but there's no excuse for putting the moves on your date's best mate. Even if the date ended horribly, it was less than a week ago!

"She nearly had me starkers!" he cried (literally about to start crying). "And she was telling me all this stuff about how she's fancied me since the day she set foot in the school, and how she wants to bond with me, and that she only went out with Sirius because she wanted a chance to meet me but he wanted to keep her all to himself, and now she wishes she'd never gone out with him because she knows I'd never betray his trust like that, but that she just really had to try to see if anything could happen between us, and Merlin, Zig, I think she's crazy!" By the time he finished that ridiculous run-on sentence, I have to say he sounded more than a bit crazy.

"What did YOU say?"

For a moment he looked ashamed. "Nothing very coherent at first," he admitted, "but apparently she took that as a yes, and when she went for the belt, I just freaked out and shoved her away. I think she may have hit her head actually, but I'm not sure because - and I admit this freely but only because I'm in the presence of a woman and not the blokes - but I ran away."

Despite the situation, I couldn't help snorting out laughter. I can still picture the image of James, who likes to pretend he is the bravest of the brave (perhaps even braver than Godric Gryffindor himself), running away in panic from a girl. Even a girl as strangely crazy and apparently maniacally manipulative as Isabeau Chevalier - it's still hilarious.

"It's NOT FUNNY!" he insisted, panic making its way into his voice. "Honestly, Zig, I didn't know what else to do. I'm not used to girls coming on to me - not like that. And of course, I'm saving myself for Lily. Not to mention the MOST IMPORTANT PART - Sirius is my best mate, and I could never NEVER do that to him. I just, I just don't understand. Seriously, I'm almost one hundred percent sure that she's a lunatic. And Padfoot is bloody in love with her."

Something inside stings at that reminder. Of all the idiotic girls that Padfoot has been "in love" with, why in world did he have to be so ridiculously arse over tits for Chavalier?

"Yeah, he is," I said quietly, examining my hands.

"You can't tell him," he said, turning on me suddenly. "You can't breathe a word to anyone. You're stuck in this with me. Only you and I and Chevalier can know, because if Padfoot hears a whiff of this, he's going to murder me. And I didn't do anything wrong, so I'd really prefer not to get murdered right about now, okay?"

I nodded numbly. "Of course."

"And aside from the inevitable murder," he prattled on, "he'd probably kill himself or succumb to depression. Really, it'd be a murder-suicide thing. He'd kill me and then himself. And then you'd have no best mates, so really, Zig, it's in your best interest to keep this a fucking secret, see."

I hate keeping secrets.

I stayed with him, trying to calm him down so that he was prepared for when the others came into the room. As it turns out, Remus was already in there, passed out in his bed. He started snoring not long later, and I suspect James will interrogate him later and swear him to secrecy as well.

When Sirius and Peter came into the room nearly an hour later, James went awkwardly quiet, so I had to help him bullshit the situation. He really is a terrible liar, especially when it comes to Sirius, who was so obviously suspicious but seemed tired and decided to ignore it presently. Thank Merlin. If he had so much as asked James about it, I'm sure he would have panicked and told him everything. We are very lucky right now.

This really tells me I need to have a chat with Lily and Mary about their plotting though. Because I don't know what their plotting entails, but if that was part of it, that is ridiculously cold and conniving. Far worse than I would have ever expected out of them (well, maybe out of Mary).

So I guess it's time to ask them to help me out with my little pranking problem.


Sunday, 10 October

5:45 a.m.

Been super busy lately. Been plotting with Lily and Mary and practicing for our first match. Don't have much time now, have to head to the pitch for practice or James'll murder me. Will update on the pranking situation tomorrow.


NEXT TIME:

Mary's face contorted. "You're ridiculous," she nearly snarled. "You're just jealous because you've never done more than snog a bloke - and that was just stupid Potter for some dare. The way he talks about you, you'd think every male in Hogwarts wants to tear your knickers off, but they DON'T. You're so high and mighty, thinking you're so much better than everyone else. I don't see how even James Potter can stand you. I sure as hell can't."