"Hey cuz, it's Mia. How are you doing? How's the arm? The doctor said you should be able to take the stitches out in-" Message deleted.
Next message. "Hello Mr. Ratliff, this is Dr. Downs office. He said you should probably come back in for a check-up soon to make sure that arm of yours is healing properly. If it starts to hurt or the stitches reopen, please come back in immediately. Dr. Downs said to make sure you're changing the bandages once in a while, if not daily or every other day as a precaution. In a few weeks, he said we might be able to take the stitches out. To schedule an appointment or if you have any questions, call-" Message deleted.
Next message. "Hey Tommy, its Isaac. Monte said to let everyone know that we'll be having band rehearsal again. Can't practice too much, right? Plus we get to meet the keyboard player this time. Not sure who it is yet, though, so stay tuned. They won't be able to come until later in the evening, so they get leftovers if they're still hungry. If we have any leftovers left, that is. I'll be the one hosting the get-together this time, so be sure to come to my house instead. Free food and I'll even clean up the place before you get here. I live at-" Message saved.
Next message. "It's Isaac again. Sorry, I forgot to mention the time. Food will be here around 5pm so-" Message saved.
Next message. "Glitterbaby. Just wanted to remind you that I won't be able to help you finish moving out today. I have a date with Joshua – I made it a while back. Be careful. If you need help, call Monte or Isaac, although Isaac doesn't have a truck. Let me know if your old roommate gives you any problems; I'll be glad to come down in that case and kick his ass. Or stare it down. Take care. Adam." Message saved.
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Chapter 7: Streets in Chaos
Tommy could feel the wave of nausea and dizziness coming before it hit him. The way his eyes became unfocused, the way his head felt heavy and his legs having the sudden urge to give out on him. The back of his head hit the bricks, his vision going crazy with flashes of white light and spotted stars.
Breathe in and out slowly, He told himself. It'll pass… in just a second…
Breathing slowly helped, but it wasn't enough. This couldn't have happened in a worse place, He told himself grimly.
He pushed away from the brick wall of the antique store, pushing through the crowded sidewalk to the nearby alley. A dead end, it held two dumpsters and an overstuffed metal garbage can – but the alley itself was empty. Tommy breathed a sigh of relief as the people continued to pass him by instead of pushing into him.
A warm, dripping liquid slipped though the edges of the bandages, trailing down his hand and dropping softly onto bits of lose rock and gravel and brick. Tommy sighed, running his free hand through his hair in disbelief. He hadn't meant for this to happen again, but it did. He thought he was being careful when he had used his razor again, when he reopened the stitches on his left arm.
Whenever the pressure inside him would build up, when the stress he felt at his job, stressful customers with complaints, even in everyday life and always having to pretend nothing is wrong – eventually, those repressed emotions had to go somewhere. Being able to externalize that pain was a relief of sorts, watching the blood drip down his arm made the tension, angry and emotional build up drip away as well. It was like a drug, he had to keep doing it periodically to feel better.
Once, just before Tommy had met Adam for the first time, he had made the mistake of cutting too deeply. It happened again, even if it wasn't quite as bad. Still… now he was trapped. He couldn't go to the bathroom stop the bleeding or if he felt like fainting, he couldn't do so in the safety of his apartment.
People were starting to crowd around him as he slowly collapsed on the floor, the bricks scraping the back of his head in short bursts of pain.
"Is he okay?" "Who is it?" "Will it pass? What should we do?"
"He's bleeding, but only a little, should we call 911?"
"He looks so odd, is he in a rock band or something?" "A runaway, perhaps?"
Normally he could handle an outing to the grocery store, clothes shopping or what have you. It was kind of like going to work – if you shut yourself down, retreated into your mind, to that safe place, and focused on one task at a time, the world would pass by in a blur. Soon enough, Tommy knew he would eventually find himself back home, relaxing in his bedroom and surfing the internet on his computer.
But not today; the pain in his arm was bringing his mind away from his safe place instead of pulling him in. It dragged him out kicking and screaming until he could feel the people around him, their bodies closing in, suffocating him and squeezing tightly until he could no longer breathe.
All at once his body started becoming overwhelmed with sensations. The smells from the dumpsters and garbage cans, the perfume and colognes and shampoos from people leaning in trying to see if this man really needed help mixed together with the words they spoke to him.
His brain became jumbled, confused and overwhelmed to the point where he no longer knew where he was, or even who he was. The only thing this man knew was of being surrounded, and trapped inside his own body, inside his own mind going crazy from over-stimulation. Nothing made sense. He couldn't move the way he wanted to and the multiple sensations he felt and heard and smelled and touched left him dizzier then before.
The bricks were hard and kept scratching at his head, the ground full of gravel and pebbles that people accidently kicked over on their way to see who this man was – the man, dressed differently from the normal person, the man who wore makeup but wasn't in drag, whose hairstyle was unusual and eye-catching.
His breath started to hitch in his throat. There wasn't enough oxygen getting to his brain and he was beyond the point of being able to separate his emotions and the input from the world around him. His ability to think and speak was dying, until he was within his mind – screaming in panic and pain and terror.
The world itself was making less and less sense. The ability to recognize objects and people were blending together in one massive melting pot. If he closed his eyes, maybe he would be less confused by the movement around him. Maybe.
The darkness didn't help him this time. Closing his eyes didn't make things better. Even covering his ears wasn't doing anything to make the world stop talking and asking questions he could no longer understand. His arm was killing him now – at least he could still recognize he felt pain.
If only the world would stop, if he could just get his bearings, things would be okay again. He wished time would just… stop.
Meanwhile, about half an hour before all this happened, Adam was meeting his boyfriend, Joshua, at the other side of the market place. They had just finishing eating a local French café. Joshua still had yet to meet Adam's band, and Adam hadn't bothered telling him the about its members. At least, not yet…
"So when can I meet them?" Joshua pouted. His wavy black hair bounced lightly against his face. "You keep telling me you have a band, and that they are really nice people. Are you hiding them from me?"
Adam laughed, "Nothing like that, Joshua. I promise you'll get to meet them eventually, but I'm still getting to know them personally, so until I'm comfortable with them…"
"Ah," he responded. He swung Adam's hand lightly between them. "I get it, I get it. You just want to get to know them first, before introducing the boyfriend. That might get awkward, under the right circumstances."
"I just want the band, including me, to feel comfortable with each other completely before meeting friends and family and yes, boyfriends. I know, they would probably love you," he touched Joshua's nose lightly. "But for you, if you can wait for me, that would be great."
"I'll wait however long it takes." The smaller man responded back with a smile. "I love you sooo much."
"And I love you too, Joshua." Adam smiled. This was how it usually went with his boyfriends; sweet, romantic and as one of his close friends had pointed out, "Pepto-Bismol inducing – because it makes me sick to my stomach to watch".
Conversation between the two of them flowed naturally, and it was always a fun and enjoyable experience when they were together. What bothered Adam was the fact that his dominating side was almost dormant, practically non-existent in this case. With the last few boyfriends, all of them have been the normal-type, romantic, sometimes sweet, sometimes not. It varied, but none of them had brought out his possessive side like Tommy.
Tommy Joe Ratliff. The name and face he couldn't get out of his mind.
They had walked half the market place and were ready to go shopping in the local strip malls in the area. The first stop would be near the antique store, because on either side, were two clothing stores he frequented often and one of the most fascinating jewelry places Adam had ever seen this side of town.
Suddenly Joshua stopped short, causing Adam to almost run into him. The smaller man pointed to a crowd in the distance. "Who is that? They're surrounding someone. He looks injured, I think…"
Adam could feel himself changing inside as he recognized the blonde man in distress. The sweet, romantic Adam versus the dominate, controlling Adam. Maybe it was fate that led him here, to this particular antique store, or maybe his body led him here because it sensed Tommy needed help.
His instincts had sent a bad feeling coursing through his body involuntary. That unpredictable feeling, he wanted to, needed to control it. Whether it was fear or anticipation or any other emotion – nothing would ever possess or control his mind and body without him allowing it to.
"Hey, Adam, what are you thinking about?" Joshua interrupted.
That piercing blue gaze that tore a person up inside, it wouldn't leave him alone. Adam's gaze shifted to Joshua; it scared the man.
"A-Adam… what's wrong?" He stepped backwards, a tiny movement, barely noticeable, but Adam caught it.
"I think you need to go home now." His attention drew back towards the small gathering of people, to the person they were so curious about. The object of their attention.
Joshua was persistent. He could see the man as well. "What's wrong? Do you know that man?"
Adam's voice was cold and highly possessive; it was a tone he had never used with Joshua before. "He's in my band. He's my bass player."
He motioned for Joshua to leave. "You should go. He wouldn't want anyone to see him like this."
Adam's voice didn't leave room for discussion or complaints. The glare Joshua held in his eyes proved he didn't like this new side of Adam, but one look at Adam, and the smaller man immediately knew he had lost.
He shrugged it off. It was probably a band thing anyways, sticking together like that. "Sure, no problem, Adam."
But now Joshua was suspicious of this mysterious bass player, and he didn't hide his dislike for the entire situation. Either Adam didn't care, or he had chosen to shrug off Joshua's personal opinions for later.
"I love you, Adam." Joshua said as he left. It was a test. Adam didn't respond to him. He walked on ahead of Joshua, leaving him behind, before Adam heard his boyfriend call out to him one last time. "I understand you're worried so this time, I'll forgive you."
Joshua didn't move from his spot, choosing instead to watch as Adam left him, walking across the empty street alone.
"Hey watch… it…" A woman shouted, but stopped short as Adam weaved his way past her. He was beautiful, and held a charisma that drew upon the attention of others, held them captive without a second thought.
The way he moved, the way he acted, every eye follow him, every eye knew that this stranger knew the blonde man who had collapsed on the floor.
"You know this man?" An older man asked him.
"Yeah," Adam replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. "He's my friend. I know what's wrong, he's done this before."
Adam knelt down in front of Tommy, touching the side of his face in a caress, trying to stir him out of his panic and the madness. Tommy responded to his touch, a twitch of movement. This settled the curiosity of the onlookers. None of them wanted to make the call, they were all uncertain and afraid, but still willing to try to help or gawk at the unusual man in trouble.
As the crowd slowly departed, Adam felt eyes watching him, focused and intent. Joshua. He also felt the morbid prying eyes of the people around him, from the cars that slowed down as they passed by, the people who turned their heads as they walked - he fed off of that emotion hungrily. He would show them all who this small, blonde man belonged too. They weren't going to hurt or touch his special Glitterbaby anymore. Adam would make sure they wouldn't cause Tommy any more pain today.
This man was beautiful, too, in his own right; innocent – this man was his and it was their fault he was in this state. Adam knew something inside of him had snapped the moment his mind had figured out it was Tommy who had collapsed on the pavement.
He pulled the man towards him; Tommy was still trapped inside his own mind, still unresponsive to touch or sound. Adam could wait.
This side of him was always caged, sleeping but when it was released, it felt like a type of freedom. Uninhibited. Perhaps this was his version of "love". Adam wasn't sure, but he never questioned his instincts. If his Glitterbaby brought out this side of him, then it was for a reason and he wouldn't deny himself or Tommy that. He wouldn't run away from uncertainty and he wouldn't fall victim to how society thinks he should act. Tommy seemed to need this side of him, and he was going to be damned if anything or anyone stood in his way.
"Tommy." That voice cut past the haze inside his brain. The numbness that settled in was starting to disappear. Things were coming back one by one. Smells and noises separated and became something he could identify clearly.
"Tommy." His name again; it jolted his mind forward each time. There was a hand caressing his skin, soothing his hair, holding him safe. He could feel the gravel against his skin, smell a familiar scent. Tommy knew who touched him but couldn't place his name.
His mind couldn't access the proper information fast enough; he was still lost in a body that refused to obey him. The slow and confusing process of remembering and his broken senses threaten to envelope him once more in a guise of chaos and panic.
"Help… me…" Tommy's voice was broken and pleading, his eyes refused to focus on his surroundings; he had to close them again. "Please… I'm begging…"
He wanted to cry, although he felt it was something he might be ashamed of, he couldn't figure out why. Tommy felt the man pull him closer. Arms closed in around him, warm and possessive and strong; he felt safe in those arms.
In a sea of chaos, something was finally starting to anchor him down and bring him back. Adam spoke to him. "Trust me." A simple command.
Those words again, though, they scared him. Tommy started fighting to get away. He couldn't trust him – he couldn't trust any man, never. Nothing could get him to do that. But, Adam only pulled him in closer to his body; to a rhythmic heart beating against his ear, a steady breathing pattern, and a voice that never wavered, a voice always in control. "I'm here, baby."
He felt Adam kiss his lips, gentle despite his authoritative tone. Tommy kissed him back, and opened his eyes. Adam's blue gaze stared right back, a gaze that held no fear or any of those silly little emotions that belonged to the chaos outside.
Adam stroked the back of Tommy's neck, moving it up and down with a surprising gentleness. Another hand caressed his hair and cheek.
"You belong to me, Glitterbaby." Adam instructed, without bothering to ask permission. Tommy nodded silently; his arms wrapped themselves tightly around Adam's chest. "You will do as I say."
Tommy looked up again, into blue captivating eyes. He had no intention of saying no, of denying this man anything. Eager to please, his body relaxed.
"Will you always follow me?" Adam asked. It sounded like an order, but Tommy didn't care. Someone was here to take the pain away. He wouldn't be scared anymore, and that's what really mattered.
"Yes." He answered freely. "Anywhere."
Tommy was met with a sly grin as he was pulled to his feet. Adam had won. "Then let's go home."
Beta: Check Coming Soon
