Okay sorry for the delay, last week was the end of third quarter so really hard tests. Then at midnight I went to go get new moon and from all the crazy people there I got kicked in the leg and then yesterday I wrote a chapter for my other story 'Royally Screwed.'
(in the tune of the Oscar Meyer wiener theme song)
Oh I wished I owned Twilight
Because it would be awesome
But unfortunately Stephanie owns it
So this is just a stupid disclaimer.
Smurfs are Blue
Previously BPOV
Edward looks confused before he runs somewhere in the castle to find a mirror. And this time I quirk a smile when I hear him scream what happened to my hair and face. My god he set himself up for an insult and no one had the balls to do it.
"So what were you girls up to? Aro asks, seeming oblivious to his son's reaction.
"Oh you know." I flipped the page. "Shopped until we dropped. I think our stay here is going to be fun
EPOV(couldn't resist)
This stuff better not be permanent, I think as I enter the shower for the second time today. I mean the guys and I were just having fun when I get hit by this revolting thing, so I take a shower and of course start my plan on seducing Bella. when I go into the library she is looking as hot as ever curled up reading that stupid book Romeo and Juliet. Alice, Rose, and Jane are doing something else. When she looks up she bites her lip but doesn't say anything. Then my father comes in says something about my hair and I go to a mirror to see my bronze locks and pale body were pink and purple! THE PERSON WHO MESSES WITH MY HAIR IS SO DEAD!
Finally the last of the pink and purple go down the drain. I dry off and put on jeans and a green button down shirt. When I get out I see my father in the same position he was in when I came home from drinking that revolting bear. He looks up upon my arrival.
"Son I don't know your methods of seducing women are but." he seems to struggle for words. "I don't think looking like a smurf is much of a turn on." I sigh frustrated and tug on my now bronze locks. Whoever did this put the dyes in my shampoo and body wash which I quickly disposed of.
"First someone put dye in my shampoo and body wash so that would happen. Second do you really think I would look like that to impress a girl? And third, which happens to be the most important one, smurfs are blue."
"Why do you know that?"
"I don't know I just do. The seducing thing isn't going to be easy she hates my guts and is as stubborn as a mule. It would be easier if she were human so she would be more affected by me."
"Look vampire or human I don't care. I want her on this guard!" He stands up and walks towards me. "I don't care what you do but the Cullen's are not going to stay here for long. get her to trust you, make her tell you her past, and I don't care if you fall in love with her and decide to marry her but just do whatever to make this in your favor." He takes an unnecessary breath to calm down. "Now I suggest you go find Isabella to explain to her this whole 'incident'. Now." He says when I don't move.
I nod and go out the door. I first head to the library to find it empty, then to the forest where she fed earlier today to find it also empty. Finally I checked her room to find her looking out the window.
"You know you could have knocked." She said in her beautiful voice.
"Well it is my house so I didn't feel the need to." I say and walk over to sit next to her. she finally looks at me and I immediately start to fall into her topaz depths. Her eyes made her seem more...human.
"Oh." She pouted. What's wrong? What could I do? she ran her fingers threw my hair and I bit my tongue to hide my moan at the delicious feeling of her hands in my hair. "I liked your hair better the other way." Bella finished with a glint in her eye.
"You found that amusing." I ask rhetorically but she still answers.
"Extremely."
"Why didn't you tell me my hair and body looked like that?"
"I wanted to see how long it would be before you found out." The sun was just setting making it a perfect blends of orange and pink. It was beautiful but not nearly as beautiful as my Bella. I wish I could read her thoughts to see what she thought of me. "It's so beautiful." Well time to put the plan back in motion. I push a piece of her hair behind her ear.
"But not as beautiful as you." and I lean closer but before I could come within a foot of her she uses vampire speed to go sit on the bed. Oh bad choice. With equally fast speed I push her flat on the bed pinning her arms above her head with one of my hands. She struggled but I saw her breathing speed up and I smirked at the reaction. I leaned closer until her breath fanned my face but when I was an inch away from her lips Bella wrapped her legs around my waist grinding into me making me moan but that made my grip on her hands loosened and she got out of my grip. I growled before trying to pin her to the wall, floor, or restrain her in some way. Bella just kept laughing her musical laugh avoiding my every advance. After another ten minutes of this I stopped and had to restrain myself just to keep from pouncing on her out of pure frustration. She heads toward the door and put her hand on the knob but I flipped her around locking her in between my arms.
"Nice try Eddie." the only way she would be aloud to call me that is if I get her in my bed. "but I'm not that type of girl." and she turns the door knob and slips out before I could even react.
I sigh and open the door to only bump into Emmett and Jasper and being all powerful you think I wouldn't be afraid of anything but the looks on there faces I might as well just have dropped dead then.
"Uh can I help you?" Before I could blink they had my arms and were dragging me somewhere. five minutes later the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and they shoved me in a room before using duck tape to tie me to a chair and turned off the lights shining a lamp light at my face. "What the fuck is going on here?!"
"We will be asking the questions here." Emmett says. Oh great this is good cop bad cop.
"First do you like Bella?" Jasper questioned.
"Well yeah I mean have you looked at her body. Great ass." Emmett slaps me hard in the face. "Dude what the fuck?!"
"Don't talk about our sister that way." He says.
"Well you wanted honesty so you got it."
"Are you a virgin." jasper continued.
"Hell no I'm not a prude!"
"If you could take Bella on a date where would it be?" Why does he want to know this shit.
"Well it doesn't matter because in the end we would end up in my bed." Emmett looks like he is about to blow a gasket and Jasper doesn't look much better.
"You do know Bella will never love you right?" Emmett asks leaning forward invading my personal space.
"And why wouldn't she, I'm irresistible." I say right back.
"Because your prince of the Volturi that kills an innocent human being without a second thought. You know Bella still feels guilty for killing that guy when she was human even though he deserved it. Trust me your no better and you would have to do a complete 180 to make her love a piece of shit like you." Jasper says. Ouch that was harsh. Did Bella really think that way.
"One last question." Emmett said. Finally then this torture will be over and I can go back to ways in seducing Bella.
"Okay shoot."
"Why did you dye your hair and body to look like a smurf?" that got my blood or whatever it was boiling.
"I didn't do it on purpose and SMURFS ARE BLUE!" After I screamed that they laughed and cut the duck tape off me. stupid, idiotic, moronic vampires. I think walking back to my room as the moon rises high in the air giving off the only light in the hallway.
I will make Bella fall in love with me no matter what.
