Thanks for the reviews so far. The whole story is planned out and has been for some time so I know exactly where Lady Anna and John are going :)

I understand this story is a bit far fetched, but I wanted to choose a subject which I hadn't read in another fan fiction. It's quite a difficult story to write. I know Anna and John fell in love quickly etc but I am a firm believer in the actual show they were in love within the first two episodes. I wanted to reflect that in this story.

I apologise for the odd mistake/typing error. It's not an excuse but I am the only person who reads this before I upload.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the Lord and Master, Mr Fellowes etc etc


The identity of my secret love was often a topic for conversation over breakfast with my family. Every time, I would refuse to give him away. The scandal would damage the family enough when we eventually revealed ourselves, let alone now when I had just jilted my fiancé. A man who came from a well respected family within our social circle. The repercussions didn't bear thinking about.

Then there was John. He consumed my every waking thought. We had our secret meetings, they had been all I lived for in the past eight weeks since I called off the wedding. Each one, he said something, or did something, or looked at me in a certain way that made me fall more in love with him.

The secrecy wasn't perfect, the way he made me feel compelled me to want to shout it from the rooftops. However, we both understood revealing all just wasn't an option. Not for the time being, anyway. Although, there was something exciting about the mystery. It felt incredibly romantic that only we knew about it. I'd see John when everyone else was around. The looks we shared across a crowded room, knowing what we both knew, I found myself struggling to breathe on occasions.

We had become surprisingly skilled at engineering our times to be alone. My being the daughter of the Earl helped, obviously. Beneath the trees before I retired to bed being my most favourable meeting point. Sitting under the trees, under the stars, wrapped in each other's embrace, talking about everything and nothing. The evening would always end with the two of us sharing a kiss.

Remaining reasonably self assured during our conversations, once his confident hands were on my waist, I felt completely out of my depth, helpless. He was the limit to my experience with men, no one had ever kissed me or held me in the manner in which John did. His experience often leaving my head in a daze, and I couldn't get enough.

Any suspicions to my late night strolls remained hidden as we managed to see each other in this manner two times a week, sometimes more. Our meetings were not limited to these late night encounters, however.

More and more, I found excuses to make my way down to the servants quarters. Mama grew suspicious, of course she would. Papa was much more laid back, just leaving me to my own devices. Truth was, spending time with the servants was when I felt most comfortable. Birthright had given me my position in society, however my beliefs and values didn't coincide with my class.

Time spent with them wouldn't only be exclusively with John. Before John had arrived at Downton, I would visit the servants a handful of times a week. I found it conducive to alleviating the boredom. Mr Carson would often talk to me, the Butler a mainstay though out my childhood. For as long as I could remember, he had been there.

If they found my presence in their domain unsettling or dare I admit it to myself, annoying, they kept it well hidden. Eleanor, my ladies maid, was my main confidante within the house due to the lack of a sister. Not being able to share my deepest yet happiest secret almost killed me. She would sit at the table in the servants hall, mending something of mine or going about her other tasks, listening to me with the utmost respect and patience. Then he would walk into the room and everything else would fade in comparison as our eyes met.

With it being summer, John had taken to carrying a lot of his tasks outside. Whether this was because of the hot weather, or because it meant we could be alone in each other's company, I didn't like to speculate. I believed in my heart the latter was true,

however I wasn't arrogant enough to believe wholeheartedly this was the case. His words and actions indicated his devotion. However, I still couldn't quite believe another human being possessed feelings that strong for me.

Sitting beside him in the courtyard, we often just sat without a word spoken between us. It wasn't an awkward silence. The quiet between us illuminating how comfortable we felt in each others company. Never enquiring about his thoughts on the subject, I could speak for myself when I said the age gap between us never even entered my conscience. We were both adults. I was twenty seven years old, old enough to make my own decisions. I was a woman. He was only a few years younger than my father yet the chemistry between us wasn't forced. It just felt so natural. It felt right to be with him.

And on returning to my bed after our midnight meetings, how much I wished he was returning with me.

~0~

Acquaintances had been made between myself and others downstairs, the footman William and the chauffeur, Branson, being the most significant. Eleanor was a kind, gentle soul and I had gone out of my way to ensure our relationship was one which was built on a solid footing. She was, of course, one of the few people in the house who knew Anna intimately. Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes were pleasant enough, however Thomas and Miss O Brien seemed to harbour hostile feelings towards me from the beginning. Thomas's reasons became apparent soon after I was reinstated. He wanted my job. O' Brien however, whom I found out was the author of the original letter to Vera, her motives were much harder to fathom. Still, I was used to their resentment by now. They sat on one side of the table, I sat the other and we all went about our business.

I often found it a struggle to remember the real reason why I was at Downton, when someone had walked into my life and completely turned it around.

It was her. Anna. She was the one I had been waiting my whole life to meet. In the darker nights I had experienced, reading literature about people falling in love, cynical me almost laughed at the notion that there was one person for us all in this world.

I had even promised my life to another woman. Throughout the marriage, I knew deep down I was settling for Vera. I was never in love with her. It wasn't until I met Anna that I truly understood what it was to be in love. Vera and myself met when we were very young. Lonely, we each thought the other was what we had been looking for and fell into a marriage. It wasn't always a loveless relationship, I shared a passionate relationship with my ex- wife. In the beginning at least. Then, circumstances and life experiences changed us, the Boer war changed me. Divorce was inevitable from the moment I stepped back on home soil.

Events unfolded in the way they did between the two of us, and the fallout from that lead me to Downton. And to Anna. Beautiful, sweet Anna whom I was soon believing to be my saviour. Everything happened so rapidly yet so naturally.

And she had fought for me. Initially to keep me at Downton, then in calling off her wedding. She could have fulfilled her duty, and I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. Yet she didn't. For everything I had done wrong in my life, I must have done something right along the way. I was at a loss as to what I have done to deserve her. I'd be a fool to question it. Each day waking up knowing she was in love with me, it made me feel so alive.

Waiting for her to meet me in the gardens, I would feel slightly guilty as I stood alone in the darkness. Then she would be by my side and almost instantly we weren't employer's daughter and his valet. We were simply Anna and John. In those moments, when it was just me and her, nothing else mattered. Often, at the height of our more passionate clinches, it took all the strength I could muster not to walk right up to His Lordship and tell him all about us. However, I had too much respect for him. And for Anna. It was going to have to come out into the open eventually. We both knew that. For the time being we seemed content enough with it being between the two of us.

It never went further than a kiss. For me, at this juncture in our relationship, it didn't need to. I knew Anna must have been innocent when it came to matters like this. She was growing up the daughter on an Earl, a lady. Someone certainly worthy of a man better than myself. The subject hadn't been broached in the few weeks our relationship had developed, much to my relief. We weren't ready and I certainly wouldn't compromise her position in that way.

Back in my room at night, I would think about Anna and out situation. It wasn't ideal but I could honestly say I didn't care. We didn't see each other every day, at least not to spend time alone together. It made the times were together more precious. When I said goodbye to her, particularly at night, I ached. It was a bizarre sensation, one I had certainly never experienced before.

~0~

Walking the corridor of the servants quarters which lead to the courtyard, I felt the same familiar sensations I always felt when I knew we would be back together again. Opening the door, I stood still for a moment, taking in the sight of him. He had discarded his jacket, the summer sun rendering it redundant. Slowly making my way towards him, he was clearly lost in what he was doing as he didn't turn to look at me until the very last moment.

'Afternoon, M'lady,' he said, smiling at me as I sat beside him. 'How is one this fine summer's afternoon.'

'All the better for seeing you, sir,' I replied. 'Polishing Papa's shoes, I see.'

'Nothing gets the better of you, does it my love.' he answered half mockingly. 'Come to make sure we are behaving below deck?'

'Yes, amongst other reasons,' I gently nudged against him. 'Anything I can do to help?'

He shook his head, gently laughing to himself. 'Just keep me company, sit beside me, that's all I need from you.'

'Well, I think I can manage that. For a little while anyway. Mother wants me to accompany her into Ripon a little later.'

'Doing anything nice?' he enquired, not looking up from his task.

'The dressmakers. She has to keep up to date with the latest fashions. She said she may even treat me.'

'Well, I'm certain seeing you in a beautiful ball gown will be like all my birthday's coming at once.,' he replied, catching my gaze and affording me one of his beautiful smiles. 'And talking of birthday's, it's mine tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow?' I exclaimed. 'Why did you never mention it before?'

'No one's ever really cared if it's my birthday. Not recently, anyway. I'll probably receive a letter from my mother...'

'I care,' I interrupted.

'Well, thank you.' John replied, humble to a fault. 'Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to ask if we could arrange a meeting tomorrow night. A present for my birthday so to speak.'

'Yes. Of course.' I agreed, maybe a little too eagerly as another small laugh escaped his lips. However, my mind was already concocting something a little more substantial than a short encounter in the gardens. 'I better be getting back upstairs.'

'If you have to,' he sighed, putting the shoe he was polishing on top of the crate behind him. Looking around to ensure we couldn't be seen, he took my hand in his.

Our gaze locked on each other's then, the way he was looking at me causing my whole body to weaken. Like it did every time he looked deep into my eyes.

'I'd kiss you now if I could. I always want to kiss you.'

'Tomorrow night, it won't be long.'

I walked away from him, looking back as we became further apart. Like I always did. Upon reaching the door, I was surprised to see it ajar. Walking inside, I saw Miss O' Brien standing a few feet away from the door, looking through her button box.

'Everything alright, O'Brien?' I asked, the atmosphere turning awkward.

'Forgive me for saying so, m'lady, but you do spend a lot of time outside with Mr Bates.'

I was taken aback by her forthrightness. 'Excuse me?'

'I mean, you chat to Daisy, Eleanor and everyone else in the servants hall, why don't you wait inside for Mr Bates to return from the courtyard?'

'Not that it's any of your business O' Brien, myself and Mr Bates happen to have a lot in common.'

'Sorry m'lady, I was just...'

'Well don't, ' I replied, brushing past her before leaving the servants quarters.

~0~

Leaving Mama alone for a moment, I knew she wouldn't notice. When being fitted for a new gown, she drifted off into her own little world. I stepped out into the street, and looked in both directions. With it being John's birthday, I had decided it would be the least I could do to buy him a gift. Walking a few paces down the street, I remembered a jewellers that stood a few minutes away from the dressmakers. Upon reaching it, I spied a gold pocket watch in the display window. It was something I knew John would love. Papa hadn't questioned when I asked for some money to take on our trip, thank goodness. Using the money he had given me, I purchased the pocket watch before quickly returning to Mama. She had been growing suspicious of my behaviour and I didn't want to give any reason to fuel the fire.

Sitting for dinner with my parents and my brother that evening, my mind was on other things as Mama explained in great detail her new gown to my Papa. Michael would do what he always did and make interested noises whilst being bored to high heaven.

'It was lovely material, wasn't it Anna?' Mama asked me. I heard my name and looked up. 'Anna?'

'Yes,' I said, not entirely sure what had just been asked of me.

'Honestly Anna, you head is always in the clouds recently,' Papa said sternly. 'We are sitting at dinner, would you do us the courtesy of listening to the conversation?'

'Sorry Papa,' I replied, sitting up in my seat. 'What did you ask Mama?'

'Never mind,' she smiled, squeezing my hand. 'Don't be so hard on her, Oliver.'

'Hard on her?' Papa hissed in the direction of Mama. 'Do you know my hunt tomorrow would usually involve at least ten more men? All cancelled in loyalty to Timothy and his father.'

'Come on Papa, it's all been done now for weeks, you're overreacting,' Michael said in my defence. 'Would you really want Anna to enter into a marriage she didn't want?'

Papa sighed and looked at me then. Head resting on my hand, clearly distressed by his outburst, I saw him in the corner of my eye inhale deeply.

'No,' he relented, sighing as he replied to my brother. 'Sorry Anna.'

'It's alright,' I said weakly before looking up to look Papa in the eye. 'I'm sorry I caused the family all this trouble.'

'No matter, it will all die down soon enough,' he smiled before continuing to eat.

'I heard a whisper from William it is Bates birthday, tomorrow.' Matthew said, changing the subject without realising he wasn't changing the subject much at all.

'Really?' Papa raised his eyebrows. 'He kept that quiet.'

'He doesn't seem the sort to make a big fuss out of these things.' Michael shrugged. 'Although, he may appreciate the afternoon off tomorrow? We are out on the hunt, he won't be missed for a few hours.'

Michael's suggestion got me thinking. As Papa had just shared, he was to go hunting tomorrow afternoon joined by Michael and a few of our other acquaintances who hadn't dismissed him as a result of my actions. Mama was accompanying my grandmother to a flower show of some sort, the decision not to go with them being welcomed. Seemed I had really set the cat amongst the pigeons by jilting Timothy. Tomorrow afternoon, I would be the only member of the family still in residence at the house. If John was granted the afternoon off, a picnic would be the perfect way to celebrate his birthday. There were some grounds near the house but far enough away for us not to be noticed that I knew very well.

'Very well, the man deserves it.' Papa agreed. 'Having to put up with my ranting recently. I shall inform him tonight.'

~0~

His Lordship's offer of a few hours to myself on my birthday was very welcome. When he was off out on a hunt or a similar activity, I found myself at a loose end as to what to do. Mrs Patmore seldom needed help, and the chores I needed to carry out for his Lordship I managed to keep on top of with minimum effort.

Deciding to spend the afternoon in my room reading, I had visited His Lordship's library to choose a book to accompany me before heading down to the servants quarters to have lunch. Once down there, I noticed a few more bodies than would be deemed normal in the kitchen.

Then I heard her laugh. That unmistakable sound that made my heart miss a beat. Slowly trudging towards the kitchen door, I stood there for a moment, unnoticed. Watching her. She was laughing at what Mrs Patmore was saying as Daisy and Eleanor placed different items in the picnic basket set on the worktop. Taking in the view, completely mesmerised, her eyes dancing as her amusement grew. I realised she was the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

'What's so funny?' I asked, all three women immediately stopping what they were doing.

'You'd only find it amusing if you were of the female species, Mr Bates,' Mrs Patmore replied.

'Well, I won't continue my line of questioning any further then.' I replied, making sure I looked Anna in the eyes before walking past the three of them to pour myself a drink of water.

'Thanks for your help, ladies,' Anna said, picking up the basket and walking to the door.

'Have a lovely afternoon, M'lady,' Eleanor called after her.

Turning my head at the sink to look over my shoulder, I saw her beaming away at me. What was she up to? Reciprocating her smile with a smirk, she was gone. Walking away from the sink, I nodded at Mrs Patmore, Eleanor and Daisy before leaving the kitchen to take my seat in the servants hall. Stepping out into the hallway, I turned for the dining area when I heard a noise coming from under the stairwell. Suddenly, I noticed Anna peering her head around the stairs, ushering me towards her with her index finger.

As was now habit, I looked in both directions, watched a group of servants enter the dining hall before joining her out of sight

'Happy birthday,' she said sweetly, before kissing me on the cheek.

'Thank you,' I whispered, stroking my cheek where her lips had just touched.

'You have the afternoon off, I believe?'

'I knew you had something to do with that,' I replied. 'Why have you made a picnic? Not that it's any of my...'

'Don't eat too much at lunch.' she interrupted, before a devilish smile spread across her lips.

'What?' I replied, looking at the basket she was holding.

'Meet me at the front gates at two. I have a surprise for you.' With that, she scurried up the stairs, turning back to look at me before disappearing.

My dear sweet girl had gone out of her way to spend my birthday with me. God was smiling upon me the day that she walked into my life. Turning away from the stairs and back into the corridor, I stopped dead as I saw Mrs Hughes standing before me. A feeling of joy soon turned to dread.

'Are you joining us for lunch, Mr Bates?' she asked, an ambiguous look on her face.

'Yes, I'm on my way, Mrs Hughes.'

She nodded and smiled before turning away from me, leaving me in a state of confusion. How much of the conversation had Mrs Hughes heard?