A/N: This is late. Cosmically so, because I have no spare time for crap….sorry…so here.
Have some feels.
Chapter 7: A Dignified Response
Stupid hospitals.
He hated them. He hated being in them. All whitewashed rooms and starch-stiff beds, mingled with the strong smell of disinfectants and the sickly. It gave him the chills sometimes, even as a child and doctor visits were the absolute worst.
Doctors were awful.
Dressed in those pristine white coats and puttering about through the halls with clipboards that had nothing written on them but bad news. Nurses were no better, forever skirting and avoiding direct questions that regarded one's health -at least until they're threatened.
He had been making a lot of threats today now that he thought of it. Most of it was to be left alone so he could repair some of his pride. Hobbling around was embarrassing enough.
The latter of his threats was the location of a damn bathroom.
You'd think that in such a large building, these things would be a little easier to find. But alas, nature calls and his room didn't have a private bathroom. Doctors had been iffy about giving him one of the nicer rooms to stay in.
Whatever.
Gat grunted, shifting a bit of his weight onto his right leg, Lord knows he was not trying to put anymore onto his left. Keeping the cane around took some of the pressure off, but even standing up straight was a chore. His leg was so impossibly sensitive right now that it wasn't tolerating any extra pressure on his knee or that general area.
He had a leg brace, sure, but it only made things more difficult. Especially bathing and putting clothes on.
The stiff brace covered half of his leg, and as the doctor had mentioned in that bland monotone, he would be "needing it for quite a while."
Quite a while equated with about two to three months of physical therapy.
He had been getting along okay, for the most part. At least provided that he took his meds, which Aisha had been showing up ritualistically to ensure that he took. The only good thing about this was that he'd be able to go home in about a day or so.
Anything to get out of here.
He walked at a slow pace, agonizingly slow, before there was the sharp throb of pain in his kneecap that made him halt in his tracks. It was like an earthquake tremor shooting up and down the nerves of his leg then coming to rest right back at the source full-force.
Christ, it hurt so bad.
He was known for his toughness, for God's sake, that was virtually his trademark but this was a whole other decibel of pain. The mini shockwave ripped through him again and he rapped a tightly-clenched fist against the off-white walls. He squeezed his eyes shut, somewhere there was a clattering noise and he wasn't sure what it was but it really didn't matter.
This pain was unbearable, like a punishment.
He waited, with strained breaths for the pain to ease up a little, at least enough so that he could finish this damned trek to the toilet. If Aisha had been here, she'd be scolding the hell out of him because naturally, he skipped his pills. It wasn't that hard to just hide it under the pillow or the blanket when the nurse brought in his prescriptions and some food to take it with.
He originally felt he wouldn't need them anyways, he was a man. He could handle it.
Johnny exhaled through his nose, pushing off the wall a little and just as he started again towards the bathroom, he noticed with some chagrin that a much-needed additive suddenly wasn't there.
"Dammit all to hell…" He muttered to himself lowly, leaning against the wall and glaring at the floor in disdain.
The "third-leg" as he called it that had been forced upon him by the doctors was laying a few feet in front of him, and obnoxiously so. It was just laying there, right next to the wet floor sign and beckoning him to turn into another one of those slip and fall accidents.
All he had to do was bend over and pick it up.
He had never given much thought to such menial and simple tasks, it never required any effort to do. Even basic functions like sitting or walking, that was second nature. You simply do them without thinking.
But now…
He grimaced at the cane, as to how it managed to slide halfway across the hallway he'd never know unless God really hated him that much. He paused and scanned the halls briefly, making a displeased grunt as he inched forward still leaning most of his weight against the wall.
The one time he could actually use a damn doctor or nurse, naturally there are none in sight. He most certainly wasn't going to try and call for one.
He narrowed his eyes at the cane, it was right at his feet now. All he had to do was bend over and pick it up.
Easy.
Totally easy.
Gat stiffened, his fingers twitching anxiously against the wall and he could feel himself sweating a little. This was just a simple task. Ridiculously simple. All he had to do was pick it up.
It was so simple.
'But if it were so goddamn simple I wouldn't be here in the first place.' His mind, his conscience seemed to snap at him. He clenched his fists again.
It had only been about week and a half since Tony Green kneecapped him and held him hostage. It had only been the most degrading moment of his life.
The pathetic instance where he couldn't even save himself, but rather, had to be saved.
"You need help with that?"
He was expecting it to be a nurse, though this nurse had a nasally voice that sounded a bit strained, like she had a cold. He glanced up, about to say something scathing but quickly bit his tongue.
It wasn't a nurse, but a girl. She looked no more than 10 or 11 if he had to guess, her light brown hair in a slightly tousled bob and her frail physique draped in an oversized hospital gown.
Gat forced a fake smile, "Uh…yeah, actually. Thanks kid."
She smiled back him lightly, squatting down and retrieving the wooden rod as he unsteadily held it. "You should be more careful."
He gave her a quick look and the smile faded off his face. She looked sick, her skin was a pale cast and her watery blue eyes looked sunken in. "Yeah…I get that a lot."
She stared at him curiously with a tilt of her head, "What happened to your leg?"
"Accident." He responded stiffly, gripping the cane a bit tighter. "Er…what happened to you?"
She paused for a moment before a sad smile crossed her face, "Doctors say its sickle-cell leukemia."
Johnny felt his mouth go dry a little, "I…shit. Damn. I'm sorry kid." He didn't know what to say.
The girl shook her head a little, "I've had it since I was little. Its okay. I have to get a lot of treatments." She clasped her small hands behind her back, "When I get my treatments I feel better."
Gat gave her a half-smile, "I'd feel a lot better if I could get the fuck out of here." He paused, sheepishly, having remembered that he was still talking to a child. "Pardon my French."
The girl giggled at him, shifting her feet that were covered in bright pink bunny slippers. "S'okay. My daddy cusses a lot sometimes too."
"Does he cuss at you?"
"Oh, no, course not. But when people make him angry, he cusses. Or he yells at the TV when he watches football."
Gat chuckled briefly, "Guess a lot of things piss him off, huh?"
She nodded, "Mhmm…oh and -" She extended a small hand, "I'm Loujaine. Mom gets mad when I don't introduce myself to people properly."
Gat took her hand, it felt cold to the touch. "The name's Johnny. I ain't big on introductions so don't worry about it, kid."
Loujaine grinned at him, "That's awesome." Her eyes wandered back to his cane, "Were you going somewhere?"
"Uh…" Gat rubbed at the back of his neck, "I was trying to get to the bathroom…"
"Where's your room?"
"Room 217 all the way down the hall."
She blinked at him owlishly, "Y'know there was another washroom that was closer to your room right? You actually didn't have to walk all the way down here."
Gat gave her a strained smile, "Oh yeah? No kidding?"
Fucking doctors.
Loujaine nodded again, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yup. I walk the halls a lot when I'm bored, so I kinda know where lots of stuff is."
Gat made an annoyed growl, pivoting on his heel to make the laboring walk-limp back towards his room. He was going to skewer that goddamn doctor.
"Does it hurt really bad?"
His eyes traveled to his side, locking with inquisitive blue ones staring up at him. "Hurts like hell, kid. You see I'm limping here."
"Did you take your meds?" She asked, falling into step with him.
"You sound like my girlfriend. That's the first thing she asks each time she shows up to visit."
"Well did you?" Loujaine pressed, coming to a stop.
Johnny grimaced at her, "No I didn't. I don't fucking need 'em." He attempted to put a bit of speed in his pace, but naturally his leg was not having any of that.
Crap.
"But you said that your leg hurts really bad."
"Hurts bad, but I can ignore it." He responded quickly, training his eyes at the end of the hallway. "I don't see why you're so worried about it."
"Because at least you'll be able to be normal." She said quietly, her eyes fixated on her slippers. "Your medication can make all your pain go away. Mine can't."
Johnny stopped in his tracks, "Wait, what? Don't say stuff like that." He faced her and almost instantly there was a feeling of guilt at the forlorn look on her face.
She shook her head, "But its true. You just have a bad leg. That's easier to deal with than what I have."
"Kid…" Johnny felt the corner of his mouth twitch, "it's not easy to deal with. At all. Not by a fucking long shot."
It truly wasn't.
He clenched his hand around the handle of his cane, "Look -I'm not gonna say my injury is worse than your condition, but the situation that made me get this way in the first place is a helluva lot worse than what you're in."
She looked at him, miffed, "Is it really?"
"Yeah…really. You didn't ask for your health problems. I fucked myself over cuz I said the wrong thing at the wrong time." Johnny sighed, "And it took someone else to get me out of it."
Loujaine's eyes lit up a bit, "Is it bad they helped you?"
"No…no…it's a good thing. Sometimes I just wish I could've did it myself y'know?" He gave her a waning smile, "And you wanna know what's so bad about it? The person who saved me is as little as you are."
Loujaine's face suddenly lit up with a smile, "So serious? Like, really?"
"Yeah…you kinda remind me of her a little bit."
"Did you thank her?"
"Yeah…no -what?" Johnny asked, thrown off guard.
Loujaine rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest, "Did you thank her for saving you?"
Gat hesitated, he hadn't really told the brat "thank you" at all now that he thought of it. He could tell she had been worried, but he sort of shrugged it off telling her that "made them even." Tony had kept his ass in a shitty apartment for almost two days or so, uncomfortably tied to a chair. He hadn't really given much thought to the fact that the brat was actually concerned about his well-being.
"No…"He said finally with some regret, "I didn't."
Loujaine looked at him, in an almost pitying manner. "When you see her again, you should thank her. Not everybody gets this lucky."
Johnny felt a jolt of guilt stabbing at his conscience. "I, uh…I will." He looked at the girl earnestly, "I promise I will. You should meet her."
Loujaine gave him a small smile, "Really?"
"Yeah, I'll be admitted from the hospital tomorrow. How about I pay you a visit or something? Bring you some cookies?"
"Are they gonna be chocolate chip cookies?"
Gat managed a half-smile, "Yeah….they will be."
Loujaine grinned at him, "Great! I can't wait to meet her, she's probably awesome. Is she your sister or something?"
"Uh…no…but she's kinda like a little sister. She's annoying."
"You're just saying that." She smiled before her eyes wandered to the clock on the wall, "Oh…I have to go, mom's gonna be back soon. You need help going to the bathroom?"
Gat gave her a flat look, "No thanks kid. I can go by myself."
"If you say so, just make sure you don't drop your cane again okay?" Her voice faded as she took off in the opposite direction. "I want my cookies too!"
Johnny rolled his eyes with a smirk, she most definitely reminded him of the brat.
"So why're we headed back to the hospital? Thought Aisha picked up your meds already?"
Johnny gave Andreaya a brief glance as he pulled into the parking lot, the engine of his Venom purring as it idled. "I'm doing someone a favor, brat."
Andreaya looked at him curiously then back to the small pack of Chips Ahoy cookies that he'd sent her inside of a grocery store to get. Gat had been acting rather…nice since coming home four days ago.
Sure he still acted like a bastard, what with the smart remarks, but he'd been a little less edgy.
But at least he was feeling better. He was walking a little bit better as well, enough so that he didn't get mad when she called him "peg-leg."
"You didn't get another girlfriend in here did you?" Andreaya asked teasingly as she undid her seatbelt.
"Kid, you say the weirdest shit at the worst times. Lets just go already." He responded gruffly as he jammed his keys in his pocket.
Andreaya shrugged, tucking the pack of cookies under her arm as she followed behind Johnny. The two reached the receptionist desk, a young woman with platinum blonde hair scraped into a low ponytail was seated there, rifling through a stack of papers.
"May I help you?" She asked lightly, her blue eyes looking back and forth between them.
"Uh, yeah. We're here to visit someone." Johnny said pensively as the woman made a few clicks on the keyboard and directed her attention to the small computer.
"Name?"
"Erm…Loujaine. She didn't tell me her last name, she's like a little girl. Her height." He said, patting Andreaya's head earning a disapproving whine. "I promised her some cookies."
The woman stayed silent for a moment, save for the sounds of her fingers tapping at the keyboard before her face suddenly looked solemn.
"Oh…sir, I'm sorry to say this but Loujaine Matthews is deceased."
Andreaya stiffened, looking back forth between Johnny and the receptionist. "Uhm…are you sure, ma'am?"
The woman nodded, "It seems she passed away two nights ago. Her family has already taken the body. I'm terribly sorry."
Johnny seemed somewhat taken aback before grabbing Andreaya's arm and pulling her outside. She allowed him to lead her to the other side of the building before he finally let her go and slumped against the wall.
"Jesus…Gat you ok?" She asked tensely, threading her fingers together as she watched him.
Johnny stared at the ground for a few moments, as if deep in thought before he finally looked her way. "Thanks."
Andreaya looked at him, puzzled, "What?"
He sighed, "I'm telling you thanks, brat."
"I…uh..-for what? What did I do?"
"You saved my ass, that's what you did." Gat shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket, "I…I promised that little girl I'd let her meet you. Meet the person who saved me, y'know?"
Andreaya bit her lip, "Johnny -"
"No…I mean listen, look I know I didn't tell you that shit earlier and I should've. I was being ungrateful to you, kid." He shook his head with a frown, "Loujaine was already sick, said she had leukemia. I just…I kinda wanted to thank her too."
Gat dug in his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter. He lit it quickly, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke out through his nostrils.
"I feel bad as fuck right now, brat. Like…I was beating myself up cuz I didn't wanna swallow my pride and admit I needed some help." He scoffed to himself, "I…its…I dunno. I just feel like I'm being selfish as hell."
"Everybody's selfish in a way." Andreaya said solemnly, leaning against the off-white brick with him. "But what happened wasn't your fault -"
Gat gave her a sharp look, "Yes the fuck it was. You think I'd have a bad knee right now if it wasn't for me being stupid?"
"Johnny," She said somewhat uncertainly, "You saved me too. I couldn't have gotten out of there if it wasn't for you taking a bullet for me."
"She kind of reminded me of you, y'know." Gat murmured, though his tone sounded empty. "Loujaine…I dunno. She just made me think of you in there."
Andreaya nodded briefly, leaning her head against his arm before he slid it over her shoulders and held her.
A silence passed between them filled only with the sounds of typical Stilwater traffic in the late afternoon. They lingered outside the hospital for a while, and it wasn't until Gat finished his cigarette that they finally left and headed towards home.
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