Chapter 7 – We Will Figure This Out

Author's Note: Hey again everybody! Thanks so much for sticking with me :) This one takes place after two separate scenes in 5x7, the first is after the conversation about A at the beginning of the episode and the second is right before the final scene of the girls talking about Ali being on the video. It is from Spencer's POV. This is a Spemily story. All mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: None of the characters or story lines from Pretty Little Liars are mine. If they were, it would be one big Spemily story.


Somehow we always ended up having conversations about A in the same bathroom, and it was always the furthest one from my first period class. We really needed to switch things up, because my first period teacher looked like she was going to have an aneurysm the last time I showed up late.

I was power walking to class, worrying about how I was going to handle dinner with Alison and Mrs. Fields after Ali called me out the other day, when the person I dreading speaking to most made another appearance.

"Spence, wait up," Ali called, jogging down the hall to catch up with me.

I only slowed a little. I really did not want to have this conversation.

"I really need to get to class, Ali. I can't be late again," I bit out, not even trying to hide how irritated I was by her presence.

"No worries, I'll walk with you. I just wanted to ask, because you guys have been so close lately, do you think Em is okay? She's been acting kind of weird around me the last few days, skittish almost…" She explained, seeming absolutely clueless as to her role in Emily's recent pain and aloofness.

The rolling of my eyes was entirely involuntary. Entirely.

"Really, Ali? Her not kissing you whenever you want her to is not Emily being weird; she's protecting herself. You have a long way to go in earning her trust back, so I suggest you work on that and, you know, actually talk to her about how she's feeling instead of going behind her back and demanding answers from me," I stated without hesitation, refusing to serve as a go-between.

Ali rolled her eyes right back at me.

"Jesus, Spencer, no need to get testy. I was just asking a question, no need to freak out on me just because I know how you feel about our mutual friend, and that you're still too scared to tell her the truth," Ali replied, chuckling condescendingly as she did so.

I was so done with her bullshit. Stopping in the middle of the hallway, I stepped very close to Ali, making sure she could hear the harsh whispers that I was intent on keeping from the rest of the student body moving around us.

"You were completely prepared to walk out on her, Ali. You were wholly prepared to leave her on her own, again, in order to save your own skin. You didn't give the rest of us a second thought, not even Emily, whom you claim to love. The only reason you're still here is because A scared you into staying. So don't speak to me about courage. You are the coward, Alison. You can't face up to your past, you can't acknowledge that you need to change, and you're too terrified of the monsters you created to care about anyone other than yourself. Maybe I am afraid to tell Emily the truth, but that is one lie. You are afraid of living the truth, Ali.

And, for the record, I would never hurt Emily the way you have. I refuse to play any part in helping you get close to her again, since I'm positive you'll just break her heart like you have so many times before. And I would never, ever make someone as beautiful and good and loving as Emily, someone that I care deeply about, question her worth the way you have. So don't you dare sit here and try to tell me how I feel about her or what I should do about it. Don't you dare."

My breath was coming out in heavy puffs when I finished my speech, and I was shaking all over, but I still managed to glare at Ali before turning away from her. She looked shell-shocked before I left her, but, as always, she must have gathered her wits quickly, because she was able to reply before I got more than a few feet down the hall.

"See you at dinner, Spencer!"

It was said with such superficial friendliness that I wanted to gag, and the underlying condescension was easily discernible to me. Ali was taunting me, again. I wanted so badly to smack her, but I just straightened my shoulders and kept walking to class. I would not give her the satisfaction of seeing me react.

Whatever I felt for Emily, it was none of Ali's business, especially since I couldn't even define it myself. Still, that didn't change the fact that I was terrified she would let something slip in front of my best friend. There was no way I could go to dinner that night. The thought of my secrets being spilled with everyone there to watch the fallout was just too much, especially when I imagined how Mrs. Fields, who had always been so kind to me, would respond to such a revelation. I just couldn't do it.

Ali was right. I was a coward.

-Spemily-

Seeing Ali on the screen, lurking around outside my house, shocked me more than it probably should have. We had found out the hard way that she was still okay with lying to us, and I knew she was hiding a lot about what had happened before she ran away, but I had still wanted to believe that there was some good left in her. Emily must have rubbed off on me in that regard. She always tried to see the best in people. Unfortunately, it seemed that our faith in Ali had been misplaced again. So much for my being the smart one.

My first move was to text Emily an SOS message. I wanted to tell her before anyone else, without the other girls there, because I knew it would hit her hardest that Ali still didn't trust us. From what I knew, Em still hadn't told Aria and Hanna about what had happened between her and Alison, and I didn't want her reaction to spill the secret for her. Now was not the time for them to demand answers from my best friend that she probably didn't even know the answers to herself.

It took barely more than five minutes for my best friend to walk through the kitchen door, her movements frantic.

"Spencer, is everything okay? What happened? Is everyone alright?" Emily demanded after closing the door behind her, moving quickly to my side and grabbing my hand in both of her own.

My stomach fluttered at her touch, and I could feel a blush rising up my neck. Shaking my head, I had to remind myself that serious shit was going down and I didn't have time for that kind of nonsense. I could ponder my newly complicated feelings for Em some other time.

Damn Alison and her big, annoyingly perceptive mouth.

"No one is in danger, Em, it's okay. But I have something really important that I need to show you," I explained, squeezing her hand before pulling mine away so I could use the tablet on the counter in front of us. "When I was helping Ezra move his creepy stalker stuff, I asked to borrow one of his cameras. My intention was to keep an eye on Melissa, but I caught something else entirely a few minutes ago…"

Not really knowing how to continue, I just stopped to think for a moment. I was unsure whether I should try to explain what I had seen first, or just show her the footage straight away. My fingers hovered over the tablet screen with more hesitance than I had anticipated.

"What, Spence? What did you see?" Em demanded, obviously frustrated with my lack of communication skills.

I couldn't blame her, so I took the easy way out. Directing her gaze to the screen in my hands, I pressed play. Pausing just when Ali turned her head, I zoomed in, showing Emily what I knew she probably didn't want to see. My best friend inhaled sharply and stepped back as though she had been physically struck.

"That's Ali," she stated, her tone making it obvious her words were not for me. I waited patiently until she continued. "She's still keeping so many secrets… Do you have any idea what she was doing or where she was going? Did you follow her?"

"No," I admitted, realizing I had not even thought to pursue Ali when I saw her. The last time I had confronted Alison alone outside my house had not exactly gone well. "I just texted you immediately when I saw her. I wasn't sure what else to do, I just needed to show you; I needed you to know…"

Emily played the segment again without responding, probably hoping we had both been seeing things before. When nothing changed, she turned back to me, looking as though a heavy weight was pressing down heavily on her shoulders. Something had seemed off with her when she walked in earlier, but she was really struggling after seeing Ali in that video. I wanted so badly to make everything okay for her; I was willing to do absolutely anything in the world to make her happy again, but I knew I wasn't the person with the power to do that for her, even if I was slowly realizing that I desperately wanted to be.

There was just too much to think about, I couldn't handle it all at once.

"So I'm assuming you texted Aria and Hanna as well? They definitely need to see this," Em stated, putting her walls back up.

We had worked so hard together on pulling them down, but there they were again, standing stalwartly between us. It's not like I could blame her. She had been betrayed so many times at that point, I would be surprised if she ever trusted anyone again, even me. I knew I wouldn't be able to.

"Uh, no, actually. I wanted you to be the first to know. I wasn't sure if you had told Hanna and Aria everything that has been going on between you and Ali recently, and I didn't want you to have to deal with that in the aftermath of this…" I pointed out clumsily, wanting to reach out to her but not sure she would be receptive.

Those walls could be downright impenetrable sometimes, but her shoulders relaxed a little with my words and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.

I had to work really hard not to think too much about those lips.

"Thanks, Spence. You're always taking care of me," Emily offered gratefully, grasping my hands in her own once more and giving me a sincere, if slightly sad, smile. "You should probably text them though. We can play it off like I just got her whenever they show up."

Nodding, I sent the two texts, hoping Hanna and Aria would take a little longer than usual to arrive. Something else was going on with Em, and I had no doubt it had to do with the dinner I had skipped out on, which only made me feel worse. If I had been there, maybe I could have protected her, but I had been too much of a coward to show up. So much for always taking care of her.

"Em, I can tell there's something else on your mind on top of this, you want to talk about it? Did something happen at dinner?"

"Other than Hanna getting drunk off her ass on vodka right in front of my mother and Ali spinning so many lies I couldn't even keep up, you mean?" She asked, chuckling humorlessly with a roll of her eyes. "Oh yeah, that was just the tip of the iceberg. I also found out that my mom doesn't believe Ali's story, and she knows that I've had feelings for Ali for a long time now. On top of all that, she gave me some advice that has my head in such a mess I can't think straight about anything right now. I really wish you had come; I feel like I would have dealt better with you around, Spence."

Emily moved to sit on one of the barstools, her head immediately dropping into her hands. She looked exhausted and overwhelmed and I wanted to punch myself for having had any part in her pain. I moved quickly to her side, wrapping my arms around her tightly from the side and touching my forehead to her temple, wanting as much contact as possible while trying not to be too awkwardly clingy.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Melissa has just been so weird lately, and then I saw Ezra's camera stash when I was helping him move stuff today, and I just became obsessed. If I had known Hanna was going to be such a little shit about this, I would have dropped everything, I promise. I had no idea it was going to go so badly, Em. Honestly, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when I should have been. I'm a terrible friend."

My last sentence was whispered, but as soon as she heard it, Emily grabbed onto me tightly, as though she never planned to let go. I was perfectly okay with that thought.

"Don't say that," she admonished, turning into me, her forehead moving to the crook of my neck. "You're the only one that I have who hasn't let me down. And no, I don't count you following me to the warehouse meeting with Ali as you letting me down, you just made a bad choice in the name of protecting me. You're always trying to protect me, Spence."

"You deserve to be protected," I whispered, tightening my grip on my best friend and hoping my statement wasn't a step too far; that I wouldn't freak her out.

"You do too, Spencer," Emily whispered right back, making it very difficult for me to fight off a smile.

I didn't necessarily agree with her, but I felt like I could fly knowing she felt that way about me.

We just stood there, holding each other for a good few minutes, and I could have stayed in her arms forever. Nothing would have made me happier. A piece of her earlier description of the dinner suddenly jumped out at me though, and I pulled away a little.

"What was it that your mom said that had you so stressed out, Em?" I inquired carefully, not certain she wanted to talk about it after that way she had explained it earlier in the night.

Mrs. Fields and I had always gotten along, except directly after Emily came out. She had struggled with it a lot, and handled herself exceedingly poorly, but she had come around in the end, and we had been as close as ever the past year or so. In all the time I had spent with Emily's mom, there was never an instance when she gave me bad or questionable advice. So, I had to know what she had said to Em, especially if it had to do with her not believing Ali's story.

Em took a deep breath, and my anxiety levels shot up in response.

"She said that just because I saved Ali once didn't mean that I had to keep saving her," my best friend explained, facing the ground as she spoke and absolutely refusing to look me in the eye for anything.

I had to emotionally step back for a moment, but I kept physical contact with Emily regardless. It was easy to tell that she needed support in that moment, and I was determined to do what I hadn't been able to earlier in the night: stand by her no matter how frightened I was of my own feelings. Mrs. Fields' perceptiveness had taken me by complete surprise, so I couldn't even imagine how my best friend was reacting to such a statement from her mother.

"And? What do you think? Do you think your mom is right?" I questioned gently, trying not to interrogate her but intent on knowing where she was with this.

Hanna had been saying it all along, that maybe we had sacrificed enough for Ali, but I don't think I had truly understood where she was coming from until that moment. Ali and I may not have always gotten along, but I was extremely protective when it came to the people I cared about, so it had never really occurred to me to just straight up walk away from her. But maybe Mrs. Fields had the right idea; maybe we needed to figure out when enough was enough and it was time to walk away.

"To be perfectly frank, I have no clue. You know better than most that Ali being back has me all over the place, not knowing how I feel about her or how she feels about me or what I should do next. My mom means well, and maybe she's right, but I don't think I'm capable of giving up on Ali just yet. Whatever is happening right now might change that, but I haven't reached the point of no return yet, if that makes any sense at all," she offered quietly, looking up at me as though asking if what she was feeling was acceptable.

Although my heart clenched a little painfully when she admitted she wasn't ready to give up on Ali, I was definitely not about to make her feel like she had to apologize for her heart, especially not after everything she had been through. I could deal as long as she was okay.

"That does make sense, Em, and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way," I replied, forcing the words out before they ate me up inside. "You can't just up and change the way you feel about someone, especially when it's someone you will do anything for and whom you've cared about for a long time. If you feel like we need to give Ali a chance to explain, I will stand by your choice because I have faith in you, but I should probably admit that I don't have much faith in Alison at this point. She's making it really hard for me to trust her."

"Thank you, for believing in me, Spence. I know you and Ali have been at odds a lot, and you're pretty much suspicious of everyone at this point, so it means a lot that you trust me as much as you do," she stated, hugging me once more, her head returning to its home in the crook of my neck.

I sighed contentedly, having her so close made up for everything that was happening.

"I've already told you always, Em, and I mean it. Even when you can't count on anyone else, you'll have me, whenever you need me, whatever you need."

There was no response except a tighter embrace, and that was completely okay with me. So many words had been spoken between us recently that I felt action was the only way left for us to express ourselves.

"Hey guys, is everything okay?" Aria questioned out of nowhere, causing me to jump and step back, loosening my arms around Emily but not letting go entirely.

I realized I would never be able to let go of Emily entirely.

"Uh, hey Aria, yeah, we're good. I just really need to show you guys something," I replied quickly, finally moving from Em's side back to the tablet, but not before I whispered in my best friend's ear. "We can talk more later. We'll figure this out."