(A.N.) As you can see, I've changed the title, because I always use "Rag Doll" as a working title during writing this story. I hope you like the change.
I don't own any of KFP characters or locations.
Po was walking down the Thousand Stairs, not even knowing where exactly he was going now. He had put on clean clothes and wanted to wash everything he had left in the bathhouse, but some goose servant had offered his help, so Po decided to go for a walk. For a long walk, somewhere far away from the Palace, to think. Or better - to rest from thinking. The panda wasn't feeling like training, although he knew that he shouldn't stop learning despite his master's condition. He was very disappointed in himself after that stupid thing he had said in the bathhouse, Po suspected how much it must have hurt Shifu that he had reacted in such a way. Then he stopped on the stairs as he remembered what he had seen where they had been talking in the bathtub and made his way down the long stairs into the village again.
The afternoon was still sunny and warm and the colourful streets were full of the inhabitants of various species and age. Po felt uneasy when some villagers started to bow and a lamb pointed at him, saying something about the Dragon Warrior to her bunny friend.
"Hi, Po! How is Mr. Ping doing?" some man asked him friendly. Po recognized a regular client of his dad's restaurant in that person.
"Fine, thanks, sorry, I'm already late!" Po shouted back, quickening his pace. He wanted to make his way through the streets as quickly as it was possible to find the hospital. So he ran, pretending to be hurrying and hoping that no one would call him the Dragon Warrior, or a 'master' again, or worse... ask him a question about Master Shifu.
He finally found the low, long solid building which he had been looking for. Although sounds of coughing patients and crying babies were coming from inside, the area looked rather nice and friendly, like almost everywhere in the Valley of Peace. Some pig was helping her husband walk on crutches on the cobblestone path in front of the hospital, it appeared that he had broken his leg.
Po entered the building and immediately saw a long queue of women. A few of them were holding their children, who didn't look sick considering their shouts and laugh, everyone was sitting on a long bench along the wall separating the corridor full of waiting people from the part for sick or injured patients.
When Po saw the queue his heart sank, but it was not important, he needed to ask the doctor about one thing. A piglet sitting on the bench nearby was looking at the panda all the time and finally he showed him his hand dressed in a white bandage.
"I've broken my hand." the boy said smiling as if breaking a bone was fun.
His smile made Po smile back at him. "Don't worry, it'll set soon."
"It already has. The doctor will take my bandages off today."
"That's great!"
"Stop bothering the Dragon Warrior," the boy's mother spoke to her son. "I'm sorry, Master Po. He likes you so much." she added apologetically.
Po saddened a little, hearing the title. "It's OK, he's very nice-"
"Are your legs broken too?" the piglet asked Po, noticing his leg wraps.
"Huh?" Po looked at his legs. "No!" he chuckled. "No, they aren't."
"So why are you wearing those bandages?" the child asked disarmingly frankly.
Po wondered how to explain that to the child as simply as possible. "It.. helps me run and fight.."
They were sitting there and talking while the patients were entering and exiting the room at the end of the corridor to leave the hospital, and soon the piglet disappeared with his mom behind the door too. Po sat in the empty hall, no one had come there after his arrival. For some strange reason, he started to feel nervous although he wasn't there to get examined. Some voices were coming from behind the wall, apparently the nurses were talking to the patients. Po started to relax and fortunately, the door opened and the piglet and his mom left the doctor's office. The bandages had been taken off and the boy waved his now good hand.
"Bye-bye Po!" he said and soon he left the building with his mom.
"Master Po?" the doctor said, seeing the panda in the waiting room. The medic - Mr. Li Chao - was an old ram wearing a long white robe and a pair of small glasses on his nose. He was surprised and worried, knowing what had happened to the Grand Master. "How is Master Shifu?"
"Fine, I suppose..." Po answered, getting up. "But I must ask you about something."
The panda and the ram had entered the doctor's office. The room was very large, because sometimes the patients were very big - rhinos, elephants or the only giant panda in the village, for example. Po sat down on a stool in the room and immediately started to explain.
"Master Shifu was taking a bath today and.. something strange happened."
"What happened?" the ram asked, sitting down.
"We were talking and I could swear, I saw him bend his neck slightly. Is it possible?"
Mr. Li Chao stroked his chin, thinking of something intensely. "Are you sure he did that?"
Po tried to remember that moment and gave the most honest answer he could. "I'm almost sure. Unfortunately, Master doesn't want to talk about that, he doesn't believe me."
The medic sighed. "You know that I cannot help you very much since full paralysis is very rare. There were only few patients fully paralysed who managed to survive some time after their accidents and Master Shifu is my only and I hope the last patient suffering from this disease." Li Chao began. "However, I heard once that some paralysed people could move their necks or bend their fingers or toes, but only after a long time of rehabilitation, when they really tried to do that."
"What does it mean for Master Shifu?" the panda asked hopefully.
The ram didn't look too happy. "Firstly, Master Po, don't hope that Master Shifu will regain his full health. It's not possible, but you should start his rehabilitation exercises as soon as possible, it may help him feel a little better. Start with bending and straightening his arms, legs, toes, fingers and his spine, but very carefully. It's very important to trick his body so that it can 'think' that nothing happened, he will survive some time longer at least."
Po nodded, thinking how to convince Shifu to agree on exercises, considering his bad mood and another thing came to his mind. "Master Shifu told me something strange a few days ago. He said that he would die of pneumonia or a blood clot soon. Is it possible?"
The doctor saddened again. "Yes..." he admitted after a moment. "Lying constantly in the same position is not normal. He won't survive long like that. This is why the exercises are very important now. You should make sure that Master Shifu's body is moving almost continually. Always lay him on soft surfaces, change his position very often to prevent him from getting bed sores, pneumonia, blood clots and perhaps many other things. He must not lie or sit too long in the same position. That is all I can tell you for now considering my knowledge." the doctor sighed, seeing Po's devastated expression. Apparently the panda had had no idea how seriously ill the Grand Master was.
"Forgive me Master Po, I should have told you that on the first day, but Master Shifu was so depressed the last time I saw him that I couldn't do that, especially because I was sure he wouldn't want to live anyway. I wanted to come to the Jade Palace later and check how he was doing, but you came here first."
Po was sitting there, trying to understand all the dangers. He scratched his forehead and stood up. "So I suppose I should be going now..." he said, but he knew how angry Shifu had been when he was leaving him in his room. However, he had an idea where to go instead of coming back to the Palace now.
The panda left the hospital, heading towards the main street of the Valley of Peace. Mr. Li Chao was watching him leave with a feeling of awful powerlessness. Master Shifu was one of his patients he really wanted to recover, but he couldn't do anything to help them.
Po walked down the street devastated. He had still a few hours until the sun would start to set, so he decided to visit the restaurant. He had hoped to hear that there was some hope for Master Shifu, not a guarantee, but only a hope that he would at least be able to move his hands and head some day. Instead of that, he had found out that Shifu needed more care than Po had originally thought. That totally depressed the panda, who tried not to burst in tears in the middle of the street. He felt fear so dreadful, as if boiling water had filled his body and he finally approached the gate leading to Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop.
The restaurant was full of talking and laughing clients, they bowed to the panda when they saw him and upon returning the bow, Po felt a sudden pain in his heart when some children sitting at one of the tables called him the 'Dragon Warrior' again.
Master Oogway would be very disappointed knowing that I don't feel worthy of this title anymore... Po thought with bitterness, entering the kitchen quickly.
"Po!" Mr. Ping welcomed his son with a smile, embracing him with his wet wings. Perhaps he had just washed some vegetables or fruits. "I haven't seen you for ages!" Po returned the embrace and closed the door.
"How are things going at the Palace?" Mr. Ping asked, remembering the difficult situation the warriors were in.
Po sighed, wondering how to begin. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt so bad, so foolish and helpless, like a one big failure. He rested his back against the wall and looked really lost in thoughts. "I talked with Master Shifu's doctor today."
Mr. Ping put his wooden ladle on the countertop with a loud noise. Fortunately, the clients didn't react, it was loud in the restaurant anyway. "Po, are you still caring for him?" he turned around and asked, eyeing his son attentively. "Are you still washing him? Feeding him.. dressing him... doing everything?..."
Po finally looked down at the goose surprised, as if he had just woken up. "Of course, what, you think I shouldn't?"
The goose shook his head to calm them both. "That's not the point Po, but you should train and learn at the Jade Palace otherwise you'll forget everything he taught you. Or..."
"Or...?"
"Or just come back to me." Mr. Ping asked unsurely. "Don't you think that it's weird that you're caring for an almost strange person to you? He has his own family and a crowd of servants. I need you here!"
Mr. Ping had a point. But as Great Master Viper had said, life was not so easy as everyone thought. "Dad... Forgive me, but I can't leave him." Po began and wondered how to tell the goose about his reasons. "And I don't want to."
"Why?.."
Po didn't answer, staring at the opposite wall. He knew well that after his answer his life would never look the same as before. What he would think about himself after admitting what had happened. He walked up to the counter and poured some water into a cup. He took a few sips, hoping that it would make him feel better, but the cold water only made him feel worse than before. He didn't even notice that he hadn't eaten anything since the tiny breakfast, but he wasn't hungry even smelling the delicious soup sputtering merrily in the cauldron beside the countertop.
"Po, why?" Mr. Ping asked again, feeling nervous with every second of Po's silence.
"Because it's my fault that Master Shifu is paralysed." Po stated finally, feeling as if the whole world were collapsing onto his back. He sighed heavily and put the cup down on the counter. There was a long quiet moment between the goose and the panda. Mr. Ping was shocked to hear that answer, he tried to recall that day in his mind, but he still didn't understand how Shifu's paralysis could be his son's fault.
"Why do you think so?..." he whispered. He even started to think that the Five had accused his son of causing the Grand Master's paralysis, but someone interrupted.
"I'd like a bowl of dumplings, please!" some bunny customer's merry voice resounded in the kitchen. The goose quickly poured some dumplings into a bowl and gave it to the bunny, taking the money the client had put on the counter.
"'Why?' Dad, how can you ask? Don't you see who I am?" Po asked when the bunny had taken his dumplings. "Because Shifu was right. They were all right calling me a stupid, fat panda, that's why!"
"Do they force you to serve him? Did they say that it was your fault that Shifu was ill?"
Po looked at the goose confused. "No! Please, dad, they never did any such thing! I'm caring for him because I feel guilty!"
Mr. Ping looked around the tables to make sure that no one was listening to their talk. "But it wasn't you who broke Shifu's spine!"
"Do you remember when you told me about the secret ingredient?"
"Yes, you took the Scroll and ran back to the Palace."
"So..." Po began, trying to calm down a little. "I was running upstairs, I had to run up the Thousand Stairs, can you even imagine? So I was running and somewhere in the middle I lost my sight for a moment, my heart was beating so fast that I thought I was dying." Po hid his face in his paws and tried not to cry. "I'm a giant panda, I can't run upstairs!" he explained desperately. "I didn't have any strenght left... and I was supposed to fight Tai Lung... not just reach the top of the stairs! So I stopped to catch my breath and after a moment I got up and started to run again."
"And you stopped for how long?.." Mr. Ping asked.
"I don't know.. four, five, maybe six seconds..." Po answered. "But what does it matter? If I hadn't stopped there back then, maybe Shifu would be healthy now."
"Or you would have had a heart attack and you and Shifu would be dead by now and who knows who else!" the father remarked.
"Maybe..." the panda admitted. "But I should have stayed there to help him fight, Tai Lung wanted to fight me and get the Scroll... not Shifu." Po explained. "So you understand now why I can't leave him. Especially now, when he's probably dying."
The goose didn't know what to say, slowly understanding how huge sense of guilt the panda was carrying in his heart. Po felt like crying again and he just rolled his eyes, seeing another customer approaching the counter. He quickly left the kitchen, making his way upstairs to his old room.
As the panda entered his old bedroom, he noticed a thin layer of dust on the floor, shelves and the table. Mr. Ping had indeed a lot of work so he couldn't find time to clean his room. Not that Po wanted to ask him for that. Fortunately he had at least a place where he could go and be alone with his guilt and pain. Where he didn't have to pretend anymore. He remembered the old times when he had been just a fan of the Furious Five. He had always dreamed of fighting and saving lives and when he had gotten his chance he could save everyone except for... his own master. The one who had taught him everything he needed. Now he missed those old good days when he had been nothing important, but he could at least imagine that he wasn't a failure.
Po sat down at his old table and picked up some colourful pictures lying on it. Mantis... Monkey... Viper... then there was the red panda standing in a fighting stance with his bamboo flute in the next picture. Po had only two pictures of Master Shifu because they were very scarce but now those pictures appeared to be invaluable to him.
What have you done, Po? the panda thought, looking at the tiny master smiling mischevously from the picture in his hands. Two tears fell from his eyes, but Po wiped them away quickly not to destroy the painting. Those words he had told Shifu when he had asked him for help echoed in his head again. 'Every one of your students would give their life to heal you.. I'd do it right now if only it could help you!'
Actually, I can give you my life. Maybe I can't heal you, but I promise to never let you feel bad again. I'll be your new body. he promised sniffling when he suddenly felt Mr. Ping's wings wrapping around him, he hadn't even noticed him enter the room.
"I know that you're very sensitive, but you can't feel guilty for things that are beyond your control, Po. 'Should have', 'would have'.. Stop wondering what would have happened if you were someone else. You all did what you believed was the best." the goose explained.
Po hugged his father very tightly, feeling that he needed his understanding the most. He took a deep breath and exhaled, wiping his tears. Now at least he knew what to do and because it was getting late, he decided to stop crying and get back to the Jade Palace to fulfill his promise.
As Po went through the main gate leading to the arena, he immediately saw Monkey and Tigress talking there. Suddenly some realisation hit him: how the Five could not know that Shifu needed some special exercises if they knew so many things about health and injuries? How could Tigress not know?!
"Why didn't you tell me?!" he asked her, entering the arena. "Why didn't you tell me that Shifu needs rehabilitation?!"
The feline didn't look surprised, unlike Monkey, who got alarmed by the panda's tone. She sighed, crossing her arms and looking away, something was telling her that nothing could calm down the angry bear. "My mistake. It was when I thought that he wanted to die..."
"Oh yeah, so you just decided that we could let him believe that he was no longer needed and let him die there in his room who knows how and when? Brilliant idea, Master Tigress!"
Monkey started to worry about the panda's life when he had said that. "Po, stop..." he pleaded.
"You're going too far!" Tigress snapped. "It's not a problem to force someone to live in spite of their will, the problem is how to make them WANT to live!"
"For your information: giving up is the worst way to attain that! How could you be so irresponsible?!" the panda finished, storming out of the arena.
Monkey noticed a look of total defeat on Tigress's face, but he knew that it wasn't caused by the panda's behaviour. Po's last words were the last thing she wanted to hear now. And she knew that Po was right. Especially his last word made her feel as if her feet had stuck in the ground. Irresponsible... she couldn't feel worse.
"Tigress..." Monkey began when he saw her despair.
The feline just walked away, leaving Monkey in the arena without a word.
Po felt awful, going past the golden dragons in front of the Palace. He knew that he had taken his anger, frustration and helplessness out on Tigress, although she felt lost exactly like he did and probably everyone at the Palace. He knew well the sense of guilt she was feeling now and once he took a few deeper breaths while entering the terrace, he regretted everything he had told her just a moment ago. He would have to find a moment in the nearest future to apologize to her...
Meanwhile, in the Grand Master's chambers, Shifu woke up after the refreshing sleep. He was feeling very good, despite the fact that he couldn't change his position and his stomach started to growl from hunger. As he was thinking of his last talk with Po, he had to admit to himself that he had really overreacted. Even if he didn't want it, the whole situation was making him feel like laughing, but although the bath with Po had relaxed him much, he couldn't let the panda get away with laughing at him. But before he could think up a proper punishment, he heard someone approach the door and the person entered the room quietly.
Shifu recognized Po's heavy steps on his squeaking floor and the panda grabbed his arm gently. "Master Shifu?..." Po whispered, slowly turning the red panda over onto his back.
"Oh, shit!" he recoiled in horror in the next second and landed on the floor painfully when he saw the master's face: Shifu's eyes oddly rolled back in his head and his tongue hanging out limply.
Then the red panda burst out laughing, especially because the sight of a giant panda scared to death by a small corpse was particularly comical.
"Oh, shit... Man!" Po repeated, getting to his feet and placing his paw over his heart to the accompaniament of Shifu's wild laughter. "Why did you do that?" he asked, climbing onto the bed.
"Now we're even, Panda." the master explained simply, trying not to grin.
Po sat down on the bed, breathing heavily. "Yeah, there's nothing better than a good death prank." he panted out.
"I have bad news for you." the red panda began.
Po eyed the area around Shifu's tail. "I hope it has nothing to do with my bathrobe."
If the red panda's looks could kill, Po would be now decapitated and the rest of his body would be bloody spread all over the room.
"NO." Shifu assured, trying not to lose his good mood. "You will have to find some time in your schedule. It wasn't our last bath."
"Really? You liked it?" Po asked smiling, because he had forgotten about everything bad he had learned that day.
Then it came to Shifu's mind that the panda might interpret it as a very suggestive offer. "Uhm... because... it was very relaxing..." Shifu started to explain awkwardly, when their stomachs started to growl simultaneously.
The pandas looked at each other and burst into carefree laughter again.
(A.N.) I see that most of you can't stand reading this story anymore. Well, I knew that no one wants to read about such things and I'd be writing to myself... I knew that this story would be hard, even though I have at least a small experience in what I'm describing here, but I'm not a doctor, so forgive my mistakes if you see any. I hope I manage to finish this story anyway, though it's hard even to me for many reasons...
