A.N: Yeah, this one's weird. Thanyou to DMSkywalker again, and WeepingAngel123 and Azurefalls.
Disclaimer: Not mine. A character in this is, but her name's stolen and the idea isn't all that original. So...none of it's mine, really.
14 years earlier. Ish.
A Doctor grabbed Rose's hand again as they watched the TARDIS fade from view. She looked down at their clasped hands, and suddenly a song she'd heard overplayed on the radios in almost every Universe came floating through her mind.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right…
She smiled ever so slightly. The song fit her mood surprisingly well. OK, this Doctor wasn't a girl…but he wasn't The Doctor. Her Doctor. She sighed and cast her eyes towards her feet. She couldn't abandon him, she just couldn't. The Doctor was right, he needed her. So it was with a fake smile of happiness that she turned towards him…John, she decided…she turned towards John and reached up to kiss him again.
-x-
They did try. Rose didn't even think that he noticed that there was something wrong with her. However, he was determined to let their relationship build slowly. She was grateful for that, at least. After a month of "dating" and shy kisses, Rose decided that she'd had enough. Any hopes of the rift reopening were long diminished and tucked away in her subconscious. Anyway, she realised, she was happy. John was like The Doctor in so many ways. Besides, he was the only Doctor she would ever have. So Rose formed a plan. No more holding back, no more excuses from either
Rose Tyler was going to seduce John Smith.
-x-
A week after their first time together, John proposed. Rose said yes, as she always knew she would. Rose had never been unrealistic. This was her best chance of happiness. And…she was very fond of John. In a way.
-x-
So it was that just two weeks later Rose found herself staring at a blue line. She smiled and placed a hand on her abdomen. Donna, she decided. Donna or…Mickey.
-x-
Rose could have kicked herself. She should have phoned John as soon as she knew, she should have run to Torchwood Tower and told him herself, she should have made a national broadcast on the TV…she shouldn't have waited.
OK, she could have told him as soon as he got home that evening. She could have told him the next morning, or the next week…but she hadn't wanted to.
For her, this child was The Doctor's child. Not John Smith. And, above all, she wanted to tell The Doctor first.
Then, it was too late.
-x-
Rose got the news at three o'clock on a Sunday morning. She heard the men telling Pete and Jackie at the door, and hid under her quilt. Disembodied words and phrases floated up to her.
Metacrisis…no idea…thought it was a migraine…intensive care…I'm sorry.
-x-
Rose sat at his bedside every day for three months, even though she knew there was no hope. She didn't know why she knew this, she just did. But still she sat by him and talked. About Torchwood, about her brother Tony, about Jackie's plans for a swimming pool…
She never mentioned that his child was growing inside of her.
-x-
Her abdomen was just about small enough to still be hidden under the black mourning dress.
-x-
After that, Rose went into hiding. She stayed indoors or in Pete's mansion's secluded gardens, refusing to take calls or visitors. She made Jackie, Pete and Tony swear not to tell anyone. Especially not the press. Their engagement had been spread across the tabloids, and the funeral had even merited an 8-page pull-out section of the Sun.
Not this, as well.
-x-
All too soon, the months had flown by and the private midwives held the tiny bundle of screaming life out for Rose to hold. She heard them telling her that it was a girl, and smiled slightly.
Donna.
-x-
Five days later, Rose told Pete and Jackie that she was taking Donna to see the Health Visitor. Instead, she boarded a train to the zeppelin docks. The next flight to Oslo left in just over an hour.
-x-
She stood on the sands, the sky grey and foreboding. Rose Tyler had died twice already at this beach. This time, it would be easy. Like in a trance, Rose took off her shoes and began walking into the sea. She didn't stop.
-x-
As the water lapped around the screaming infant's neck, Rose looked at her daughter and nearly turned back. Then she plunged downwards.
-x-
Rose was nearly out of breath. She pressed the already limp body of her daughter to her chest. Then, there was a flash of gold.
-x-
Gods don't die.
And they don't live.
They go to Hell.
A.N: Well? Too weird?
