"What did you do with the letter?"
Eyes that reflected her own shot up in confusion, "What?"
Nothing was said as Emily jumbled over her thoughts. "What did you do," She breathed, "With the letter?"
The beat that hit was enough to confirm she wasn't asking an unreasonable question.
"Emily-"
"Just tell me!" She shouted.
Teeth grinded against lips as Katie quivered. It was something that was never meant to be found. "Nothing. I did nothing with it."
Emily waited expectantly and shook her head angrily when nothing more was said. "Where is it then?"
"Still in the room," Katie admittedly shamefully. "I never moved it from the room."
Colour drained from Emily's face as she thought of all the possibilities had she seen the letter, had she found it before all this, had Katie never hidden it. "Where about in the room is it?" She couldn't help as her voice broke and tears glazed her eyes. It was both from the betrayal of her sister and how her life always played out like a theatre play, a horrible one filled with dramatic irony where someone knew more about her own life and continued to watch.
"Why does it matter?" Katie asked quietly. "You have Rebecca now so why the fuck does it matter? You love her don't you? Why does it matter?"
Emily didn't respond to the question and merely furrowed her eyebrows. "Tell me where it is."
"I," Katie looks down in what Emily believed was shame, "I put it in a fucking Spice Girls CD case. You were never going to look there were you?"
Emily exploded and slammer her fist to the table beside them. "Fuck Katie! Fuck!"
"I didn't think it mattered. I didn't think you would want it!"
"Well you thought wrong didn't you? Why were you even in the room?"
A painful silence fell over the twins, a silence that has occurred a lot following the years of heartbreak for Emily. Neither liked the silences but neither could find a way to fix them. It was only then that Katie realised she always had the answer to fixing it. She wiped an unusual tear from her cheek and shook her head.
"Why does it matter? Why does it matter now?" She asked.
Emily had tears of her own but they were unexplainable because she couldn't explain her feelings for the girl she had not long ago slept with and years ago loved let alone explain the tears that fell for her. She thought briefly to Rebecca before pushing it away. She couldn't love her, she never had been able to. She sometimes wondered if after Naomi she had lost all ability to love and had become a psychopath. She sometimes wished she had so she had a reason for the way she acted and the ways she would snap at Rebecca for the simplest of things but it wasn't the reason. The reason was that she gave all her love to one person and had none left for anyone else.
"It doesn't," She finally said.
Katie scowled. "It obviously does. Not only did you come barging in here shouting at me, you're also crying for her! Haven't you done that enough? You've been seeing her too or else you wouldn't have found out about the letter."
"I would have found out sooner or later," Emily said.
"Just tell me Emily," Katie said as she placed a hand on her cheek. "Just tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"That it matters."
Emily looked at Katie and couldn't help as a sob escaped her lips. "It matters. It fucking matters," She sobbed.
"Why?" Katie asked painfully.
"I don't know."
A hand touched the sprawled papers before pulling back, worried that even a simple glance will cause some sort of disturbance to the person sitting at the desk. Despite this, she still asked what the person was doing.
The cigarette hung loosely from the blonde's lips as she stared blankly at the masses of work below her. It didn't help that the heat had become almost unbearable overnight. She ignored the question and ran her hand through her hair.
"Hey, are you okay?"
She nodded her head before propping herself on her elbows and wiping away the beads of sweat that had dripped from her forehead. "Super. I'm fucking superb."
Nothing else was said and it was only when pure and complete silence fell over the apartment that Naomi realised she was alone once again. Both in anger and desperation, her hands pushed the papers from the desk to the floor, scattering them everywhere with no order to them. Her head rested on the table and let the pleasant change in temperature cool herself down until she had enough energy to finally cry.
"Emily," A voice called, "We need to go love."
She heard her name but nothing registered as she looked sadly down at the suitcase at her feet. She couldn't help but look across the many faces in the airport and hope to see Naomi. She wondered if this is what she felt like when she waited for Emily all those years ago. She looked at Katie and saw a sorry smile but couldn't bring herself to give a forgiving one. She pulled the suitcase along and placed it with the others before allowing herself to fall into step with the rest of her family and board the plane that would take her home to the life she just didn't want to return to, not anymore anyway.
"Wake up," A soft voice pressed.
She mumbled in return something incomprehensible before being nudged to consciousness. Her eyes took longer to adjust than her retorts.
"Fuck off for five more minutes."
The nudging pressed on, "Emily we're back in Bristol. We've got to get off the plane."
"Oh," Was all she could manage at first. "Right, yeah. Uhm, let me just get my bag."
It didn't take long for everything to be gathered and for the Fitch family to be in a taxi driving down the deserted and dark Bristol roads.
"Are you spending the night at the house or? Emily?"
Her eyes snapped away from the window and she cleared her throat. "I better get back to Rebecca."
Jenna nodded her head and forced a smile before allowing Rob to tell the taxi driver where the first stop was. The Fitch house was before her own and it wasn't long before she was in the taxi alone. She looked back out the window and wiped a few tears from her eyes as her mind drifted to what she was never to see again but was going to think about all over again. Really, it was no different than it had been because she couldn't help but compare everyone to Naomi. It had become a bad habit and every time the comparison would occur her mind would wander sadly to what was. Finally, the taxi stopped and Emily was brought back to the reality that was, she was never going to forget Naomi. Her eyes looked up from the ground and looked to the house she had lived in for over 4 years because it was once their house. She had never been able to move. She didn't think she would ever be able to. But now it was their house. Not Naomi and Emily, not like it had been. It had become a 'their' that was a feeble attempt to forget. Her hand raised to the door before tapping against it lightly. The door swung open and arms enveloped her.
"Emily! I've missed you," The girl said, placing a kiss on her lips.
She smiled and nodded, "Miss you too." She let her hands touch the dark hair of the girl in front of her and wondered why she couldn't just love her.
"Toast?"
She was sweet, she was beautiful and she knew what she wanted. "Yeah sure," She said. But she just wasn't what she wanted. "That'd be nice." It was all too normal. She stared after the girl as she disappeared through the house to the kitchen and it was in that second she decided that that was exactly what she needed. She needed the normality that Rebecca brought. That's what she told herself anyway and that's what she let herself believe.
I know this is quite a short chapter but It's the penultimate chapter so the main stuff is all in the next one (which I wont take long in getting out, honestly!)
