AN: I couldn't figure out how to work it into the story but just so you understand the title of this chapter, Mac Taylor doesn't like complication. This chapter turned out to be a bit angsty but I drew from the fact that Mac seemed very distraught in the season one episode blink. I know he was mourning his wife on what I assumed was the anniversary of her death or something but it spoke a lot more to me. Mac has never had many relationships with a woman in the show and from what I've seen in him he seems like a one woman type of guy. So I'm sorry if he seems a bit too hard on himself in this chapter. There is a light in the tunnel so to speak and yes Peyton is in it near the end but like I said in the first chapter this will eventually be a Mac/Stella story. I'm still laying the basic ground work or it wouldn't be much of a story in my opinion. In case you haven't been able to guess by my other stories posted on here I don't write short stories so expect at least twenty-five to thirty chapters. And no, for that heart pounding second I made you think that, it won't be the last page of the story before they get together. If they got together at the beginning it wouldn't be much of a book now would it… story I meant story. ;-) I hope I haven't tortured you too much because I just spent eleven pages torturing Mac, ah how sweet a sound… okay enough with the intro here's the chapter I promised. Allez-y!
CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY
Chapter 7: Complications
After two of them had reached a peace treaty of sorts no further conflicts had transpired between Mac and Stella. It had been several weeks since their first encounter but other than a few minor setbacks they hadn't had any other misunderstandings. Though he still had trouble sleeping on account of her most of his routine had gotten back on course and he'd even slipped an occasional prank through her radar system. Mac sighed and rubbed his eyes, tired from staring at the computer screen so long. Their latest case was another doozey but when wasn't it?
He leaned his head back against his office chair letting his eyes rest before he returned to searching databases once more. He wasn't sure when the last time he'd eaten anything was as he'd gotten so caught up in the case as usual. Sid had taken a few days off to see to getting their belongings moved into the carriage house up the street from Mac's house so he couldn't head down to the morgue to seek guidance.
Mac was tired but he couldn't let himself relax until the criminal they were after had been found. This case had been particularly hard on Sid especially since he'd had to do an autopsy on two girls from Bella's own school, ones who the family knew personally. While it wasn't department policy Mac had allowed Sid to do the autopsies in order to keep his promise to their families, to find out who'd done such a thing. After he'd done everything he could Mac had sent Sid home to be with his family.
An attempt had been made on Bella as she walked home so Sid had sent her and Mary to New Jersey until the perpetrator was apprehended. The M.E. stayed at Mac's until the movers finished unpacking their belonging but it also meant Sid was doing a lot of the repairs himself so no three course meals. Mac understood the need to do something when circumstances were outside his control but he had also made a promise of his own. Mac refused to sleep until this dirt bag was off the streets and locked up for good.
"Hey, Mac," Stella said from close by and he looked up at his second in command. "When was the last time you slept or ate?" she asked curiously, concern evident in her voice. She didn't look much better than he felt however though she always managed to look beautiful no matter what. Mac sat up straighter in his chair and shook his head.
"I can sleep after we get this guy but I could stand to have some food." He admitted.
"Good things I ordered us dinner then," She said with a smile and held out a bag from delivery service. Chinese if his sense of smell was accurate and his stomach grumbled from lack of attention.
"You read my mind." He told her and stood up following her to the break room. Adam was zonked out on the couch and Hawkes was trying to stifle a yawn himself as he poured over a file probably related to the case. The younger field agent looked up when they walked in smiled when Stella held up the bag signaling she had enough for every body. A muffled sound came from the couch which resembled a dog sniffing apparently the odor had also brought their resident geek out of hibernation.
"Food!" Adam asked groggily before tumbling off the couch. Mac just shook his head and laughed at his subordinate's antics.
"There's plenty here though I didn't know what every liked. There's Singapore noodle in here for you, Sheldon." Stella spoke up making Mac's gut twist at the thought of her knowing Sheldon's tastes so well.
It still irked him when he thought of the date the two of them went out on, the fact that they were just joining Don and Angell for dinner didn't quell his anxiety any. Mac couldn't understand the intense dislike of the man he was beginning to harbor whenever it came to Stella. He got along with the former M.E. just fine except for that.
"Thanks, Stella. You know the way to a man's heart." Hawkes returned and kissed her cheek. Mac glared at the back of the man's head and quickly left the room before he could do anything he might regret. He almost bumped into Lindsey and mumbled an apology in addition to an excuse about using the bathroom on his way out.
He headed for the men's room to avoid being caught in a lie just in case someone followed him. He washed his hands and splashed some cold water on his neck letting it drip down his back. He considered taking a shower to help invigorate him as well as sooth his temper. He knew he'd been in a foul mood most of the day but he couldn't help himself. His anger was always lingering in the back ground waiting for something to lash out on.
It was just because of this case, he kept telling himself. He was angry at the bastard who had captured, tortured, and raped two young girls before killing them. That was enough to make any decent sort of person upset but all Mac could see when he looked into those girls lifeless faces was the face of his Stella staring back at him. They were older than Stella Wentworth but ever since Sid had told him that all little girls grew up he'd begun to imagine what she would look like at different ages.
Mac closed his eyes and placed his hands on either side of the sink letting his forehead touch the cool glass of the mirror behind it. He needed to catch this guy soon, for his own sanity if nothing else. He was upset by his own selfishness which only added fuel to the fire. Mac only joined the force because when he returned to the states he'd learned that they had never caught the guy who left Stella Wentworth an orphan. Mac was determined to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening again but what do you tell a parent who has to out live a child?
"Hey Mac, you okay?" Danny Messer asked from his elbow and Mac looked over at the younger detective. "Oh wow, Boss you don't look so good. When was the last time you slept?" He asked curiously. Mac couldn't help glancing at the door to the men's room half expecting Stella to be waiting outside.
"Did Stella tell you to ask me that?" Mac replied with a terse question of his own.
"No, I made that observation on my own though Linds did ask me to check on you. She said you looked upset when you almost bowled her over in your haste to leave the break room." Danny explained. Mac sighed and looked at himself in the mirror, he did look bad but he was in his fifties. He'd given up hope of ever looking like he had in his twenties a long time ago.
"To answer your question I rest my head when I tire. Was there anything else you wanted, Messer?" Mac replied.
"Ooh on a last name basis now are we? Okay now I know something's got you riled. Spill it Mac before I do call Stella." Danny threatened. Mac sent him a glare and his coworker actually took a step back. "Unless it has something to do with Ms. Bonasera, I'm right aren't? Tell me I'm right!" Danny urged crossing his arms over his chest looking as excited as if he'd solved the case by himself.
"Mind your own business, Danny." Mac shot back.
"Now I know I'm right." Danny just took it as confirmation of his assumption.
"Our job is to look at the evidence, Danny, not some gut feeling you or your wife has about my state of mind." Mac said drying off his hands but in no hurry to leave the bathroom for fear of more concern minded citizens of the female persuasion.
"Well I am looking at the evidence boss and it's quite open and shut. You have a thing for Stella." Danny stated his hypothesis out loud.
"That's a good theory Danny but you don't' have all your facts straight." Mac told him.
"Don't I? You've hardly said more than a few civil words to Flack and now from what I hear your firing poison tipped darts from your eyes at the back of Doc's head. What's the one thing the tow of them have in common? Stella!" Danny asked and answered his own question.
"That's hearsay, it will never stand up in a court of law." Mac said in his defense.
"I've seen it too Mac. I mean come on she's a beautiful woman, you're a pretty smart guy and you'd have to be a corpse not to notice." Danny said grabbing him by the wrist. "Yep, you've got a pulse." He added with a grin. Mac glared at him and shoved his hand away.
"You done with the interrogation now, Messer? I'd like to get back to work." Mac said moving passed him heading for the door.
"I wouldn't go out there right now unless you want Stella to drill you." Danny advised making him stop dead in his tracks the one person he didn't want to see at the moment. Mac sighed and leaned back against a sink wishing he wasn't a prisoner in his own crime lab. His life had been so much simpler since she came to work there. "Geeze, Mac I was teasing about Stella, boy you got it bad don't you?" Danny asked. Mac knew he was in trouble if he couldn't hide his inner turmoil from Danny.
"Am I really that transparent?" Mac asked curiously.
"You still got what it takes to send the interns scurrying for cover, Boss. It's just cause me and the team have been working with you for so many years now." Danny assured him. Mac rubbed his eyes with his hands again. "I got an idea why don't you go home and I'll cover for you. Say you were overly tired and that you had to crash or somethin'?" Danny offered but Mac shook his head.
"I'm not going to quit until we catch this bastard, Danny." Mac persisted.
"Well Sid sometimes takes a nap in the cooler." Danny suggested. Mac sighed again nodded his head maybe it would help to cool his temperature and clear his head. He started for the door but Danny grabbed his arm. "Let me check to see if the coast is clear." He urged and went to act as his look out when Mac gave his nod of approval. "Okay, the girls are out of sight." Messer told him sticking his head in the door a few seconds later.
"Don't let them catch you calling them girls, Danny." Mac warned. Danny grinned but nodded his head liking to tease the girls almost as much as Mac did. "If I'm not back in an hour either come wake me up or call Sid and have him come in for an autopsy." Mac said lightening the mood only the look on Danny's face was priceless. "I'm joking, Danny." Mac assured the CI. "Call me in twenty minutes if you haven't heard from me. I still need to finish that database search I started." He requested giving a reason for the wake up call. Danny smiled in relief and nodded.
"Sure thing, Boss." Danny replied walking on ahead of Mac and gave a thumbs up after checking to make sure the coast was still clear. Mac quietly slipped down the stairs not wanting to use the elevator as it would alert the rest of the team to his departure. The war between his stomach and his need for some shut eye was quickly decided. He promised his stomach he would give it a conciliatory feast later.
What he wanted more than anything was some peace and quiet at the moment. The only place he was sure to find some was at the morgue even if Sid wasn't there with a smile and a ready anecdote. Mac was glad when he found no one home, not that he expected to see anyone as they had all left hours ago. While crime never slept apparently medical examiners got to go home early but he was grateful for the silence.
He checked the log which made note of the full trays and the vacant ones. Mac chose a vacant tray in a section that was devoid of occupants. Mac knew Sid kept his place so spotless you could eat off a tray, not that he would want to but at least he didn't have to worry about the smell. He hopped up onto the table, lay down and carefully closed it as much as he dared leaving a small enough gap to let in oxygen but not enough to let in light.
Getting used to the odd feeling of being inside the cooler didn't take Mac as long as he thought it would. He was out the second he closed his eyes and didn't know how long he had been out until he heard the distinct sound of the tray being pulled back out and he was blinded by the light. Mac held his hand up to block the lights which had been turned on full blast instead of the ambient lights he'd used. Once his eyes had the chance to clear he saw Stella Bonasera glaring down at him tapping her foot on the floor.
"If you wanted to hide from me Mac there were better ways to do it than to play vampire." Stella chastised him. Mac sat up slowly his muscles feeling stiff from the cold.
"I wasn't hiding from you. I told Danny I needed a nap so he suggested I try the morgue. I told him to wake me up in twenty minutes." Mac countered.
"That was two hours ago Mac, I've been trying to call you. I thought you were avoiding me." Stella said in a less annoyed tone. Mac frowned and looked at his watch and reached for his phone only to find it not on his belt where he expected to find it. He then remembered where it was.
"I must have left it on my desk. I guess even if Danny had called me I wouldn't have heard it." He said. It his haste to get away he'd forgotten to grab his cell from his office. "I'm sorry I wasn't ignoring you." He apologized slipping down off the table and having his knees almost give out. He would have been a heap on the floor if it wasn't for Bonasera's quick reflexes putting her hands out to steady him. She was stronger than she looked he found to his amazement. She put his arm around her neck and helped to support his weight.
"You're freezing no wonder you're too stiff to move." Stella exclaimed helping him to a chair. Mac's brain was still a little foggy from what he thought was sleep. She left him to grab a blanket from somewhere and wrapped it around his shoulders. "Didn't you bother to read the sign that this section was having problems with its temperature regulator?" She asked as she knelt in front of him and started rubbing the warmth back into his hands.
"What sign?" He asked groggily looking around. She sighed, stood up, marched over to the wall, and pulled a piece of paper off the wall before bringing it back to shove it in his face. "Oh, that sign." He said his teeth starting to chatter wondering why he hadn't seen it before. "Why now? Why dddddid you wait twoooo hooours to cooome find me if you or Dannnnnny coooouldn't reach meeee sooner?" Mac asked his teeth starting to chatter on their own accord despite his valiant attempt to control it.
"Because Danny didn't want to give away your secret. I had to drag it out of him and only when he finally told me where you'd gone, under penalty of death by the way, that Sheldon told us about the bad regulator. I've had to open every single drawer in here to find and this is the second to last on I checked." She explained rubbing his arms as more violent side effects of near hypothermia took hold. Mac just nodded the best he could as his teeth were chattering too hard to attempt speaking for fear of biting his tongue. "You are one big stubborn idiot you know that?" She told him.
"Hhhhow ssssssso?" He asked only saying words which would assure his tongue was out of harms way.
"This never would have happened if you had just gone home to bed like I suggested hours ago." She reiterated.
"Ssssounds like annnnn I tooooool' you sssssso." He stated.
"Take it however you want Taylor. I know you're dedicated to the job but our health comes first. If we can't take care of ourselves then we get sloppy and sloppy people miss things, important things." She berated him. "Guess who told me that?" She asked looking up at him making him feel a lot warmer suddenly. He shrugged his shoulders. "You did last week when I was sick." She reminded him of what he'd said when he sent her home. That case wasn't as important they'd already had the guy in custody all they'd had to tie the murder weapon to him and wrap up the case. This one was too important to call in sick.
"Too imporrrrrtant, ssssssleep later." Mac said the chattering having eased up somewhat. Stella still rubbed his arms at his sides but the position she was in was having an adverse reaction on him. He scooted the chair back a little on to run into the wall.
"Idiot don't try to get up yet, give your muscles a chance to warm back up." She ordered misunderstanding his intentions. He had wanted to put a little distance between them but she knelt in front of him even closer this time and proceeded to rub his arms again. God didn't she how inappropriate this was? He wondered silently looking every where but her chest which was a bit too close for his liking. "Mac?" She asked making him look over at her which was the wrong thing to do.
His breath caught in his throat and he licked his lips feeling the ice crystals that had begun to form on his skin with his sensitive tongue. Her hands stilled apparently their proximity wasn't lost on her after all. She seemed to be holding her breath as well. He was about to saying something when she leaned forward and kissed sending all reason straight out the window. He let go of his death like hold on the blanket and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him though they were already practically touching as it was.
Apparently her temper wasn't the only spark in that fiery Greek heritage of hers and she passionately kissed him back as well. He greedily helped himself to her luscious full lips and sought the warmth of her body with his hands. One hand gravitated to those curls he had longed to touch from the first day he saw her step off the elevator into his world. The other hand sank down to her waist taking possession of her with a grip of her shirt.
Every logical part of his brain screamed at him to stop reminding him of why this was wrong, but the other part of him just didn't care. He was only in his fifties after all while parts of him may have begun to sag he was still as fervent as he once was. His Stella didn't seem to mind and she returned his kissed with some of her own. Her hands found their way around his neck pulling him close. It wasn't until he put his hands under her shirt that she gasped and pulled away from him. They stared at each other both beginning to realize the full weight of what they'd done.
"Stella," He started to apologize.
"Your hands are still cold," She explained what had forced her out of the kiss that had been heading for disaster anyway.
"I uh…" he tried again.
"Uhm…" She said at nearly the same time. "I'll go tell Danny I found you and have him drive you home. Can you… Do you think you can make it to the elevator on your own?" She asked standing up quickly. He nodded his head dumbly and she gave a half smile wrapping her arms around herself.
"Stella…" He began to reach out for her but she backed away from him.
"Wait for Danny in the lobby. I'll let him know what happened and he can help you out to his car since it's probably not a good idea for you to be driving." She informed him. He could see how upset she was by their little indiscretion, her eyes were extremely pained and the way she hugged her arms to herself indicated past abuse.
He mentally punched himself in the head for having taken advantage of her. She might have started it but he knew better than to get involved with someone at the office. He didn't have to be the genius that he was to figure out the truth. He hadn't remembered the restraining order or the incident report of when she shot an ex boyfriend until that moment but he guessed the ex had been her abuser.
He cursed himself for his stupidity; the reason why she was only friends with Flack was because she shied away from physical contact. Most abused women did and he didn't imagine her to be an exception. He tried to come up with something he could say to make it better but by that time she was already gone.
Mac sighed kicked himself once more for good measure and tried to stand. Every war wound he'd ever gotten screamed at him for his unintentional abuse. Luckily he hadn't completely thawed out to hear from another part of his anatomy though it did complain a little. That could have just been from the hypothermia that had begun to set in, he reasoned as he walked towards the elevator.
He kept the blanket wrapped around his shoulders and leaned against the back of the elevator too tired and weak still to stand up on his own. The scene with Stella played over and over in his mind but he still couldn't justify his actions. She had just been doing what they were all taught to do in the treatment of a hypothermia victim. His own lack of judgment had contributed to his hasty reaction to her proximity. Her lips merely brushed against his own accidentally, he told himself… only he knew they didn't. Had she wanted him as badly as he wanted her?
The door to the elevator swung open at the floor he'd indicated though he was tempted to march himself upstairs and write himself up on report for sexual harassment even if it was nothing more than a kiss. If it had gone on any longer it would have led to more. He couldn't deny the fact that he wanted it to lead to more. As the doors parted though, the face of Danny Messer greeted him on the other side waiting to take him home. Mac sighed, gave the younger man a half smile, and allowed himself to be led from the building which he should have done hours ago.
"It's my fault, Mac." Danny said at last as he turned out into traffic taking Mac to the only home he knew about. Mac kept an apartment in the city close to work. It was the place he invited friends and coworkers to as well as female companions. He'd never taken anyone to the townhouse in the Upper East Side, Sid being the only exception because the man was still a loyal servant though Mac had given him his freedom long ago.
"You had nothing to do with it, Danny." Mac assured the younger man referring to the kiss with Stella.
"Yeah but Mac you could have died. I should have come looking for you an hour and a half ago when you didn't pick up your phone." Danny insisted talking about something else entirely. Mac sighed and laid a still shaky hand on the younger man's shoulder.
"Don't blame yourself, Kid, it's my fault for not reading the sign next to the cooler. I should have sucked in my pride and drove myself home four hours ago." Mac told him. Danny spared him a glance, a look of real fear in his eyes. Danny looked at Mac like a surrogate father not unlike Flack though his was still alive – unlike Danny's. Even Hawkes looked up to Mac he realized though he'd treated everyone miserably since Stella walked into his life. "It's not your fault Daniel." Mac assured him and Danny nodded finally accepting it as truth.
Mac determined to get his act together by tomorrow and also admitted to himself that he had fallen for Stella Bonasera. Now that he had admitted it to himself what Danny and Sid had tried to warn him of he could figure out a way to unfall for Stella. Physical attraction was induced by chemical compounds in the other person that reacted with your own chemical compounds in a favorable light.
Just because you found someone physically appealing didn't mean you had no recourse but to act on those feelings. Giving into the impulses was called lust and lust was a sin in most major religions. You could lust after someone, Mac reasoned, and not give into the impulses but not controlling the lust in the first place was what eventually led to giving into such impulses.
A real relationship was centered on more than just giving into one's impulses. Good relationships were based on commonalities, similar interests, and likeminded goals in addition to physical attraction. After the first flush of physical attraction was over the other things would see you through any rough patches that might develop. A relationship was hard work and anyone not willing to put the time and energy into it would fall into the trap of falling out of love only to seek love else where. He'd watched his parents drifting apart and Mac swore he would never enter into a relationship based on physical attraction alone as after all those years of marriage his parents had nothing to show for it.
Don's parents had been an inspiration to Mac as they had endured many years of hardships and rocky patches and were stronger for it, albeit Colleen had died. He's also seen Sid and Mary go through a number of rough patches as well over the past twenty years of marriage and they'd pulled through all of them so he was certain they would pull through this one as well.
Being in an introspective mood Mac couldn't help but analyze his own relationship with his wife. He realized that he had been ignoring the warning signs for years but didn't want to admit to the fact that he may have made the same mistake his parents had made. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough, maybe he'd tried to hard as had begun to push her away. He couldn't think why their relationship had begun to decline and he was left with heartbreaking doubts that had she lived they could have pulled thorough them.
Before he knew it Danny had parked the car in front of his building and ran around the car to help him inside. Mac smiled at the younger man grateful for his help though Danny didn't try to intrude on his dark thoughts. Mac slipped the keys to his apartment from his pocket and handed it to Danny so he could unlock the door to his condo but the door was thrown open before he could. Peyton threw her arms around his neck and fussed over him grilling Danny about what happened but Mac gave him a reprieve and a chance to escape the interrogation.
"I'm fine, it's just a little hypothermia brought on by my own stupidity." Mac answered her questions though he didn't really want to have to deal with it tonight. All he wanted to do was crawl under his sheets and go to sleep. Danny snuck quietly away returning to his own wife and infant child.
"What do you mean hypothermia?" She asked in the British accent he'd once found so endearing. Had she been another one of those relationship he'd entered into without examining his own reasons first. "Mac? It's ninety degrees outside." She demanded facts.
"Payton I'm tired and I need a hot shower. Can you ask me about it in the morning?" He asked a little too sharply. She looked as though he'd slapped her in the face. "I'm sorry. It's just been a rough night with the boarding school murders. I didn't mean to snap at you." He apologized then turned to head to the bathroom on his own but she wouldn't leave him be like he had hoped. She slipped his arm around her neck and took over for Danny helping him down the hall.
"Tell me Mac, how'd you get hypothermia in this weather." She persisted. He sighed and rubbed his right eye with his free hand.
"I didn't want to come home and go to bed so I went down to the morgue to take a nap in the cooler. Sid does it all the time so I thought it would be alright but I didn't see the warning about the temperature regulator being on the fritz. I chose an empty slot away from the others not thinking that the reason they were empty was because of the malfunction." He explained. When they got to the bedroom she sat him down in a chair he kept outside the bathroom and disappeared inside. He heard the water for the tub go on and he groaned wishing she would just let him alone to his thoughts. She appeared at the door again and helped him to his feet. "I just wanted a hot shower to loosen up." He said.
"Listen to your doctor if you were in the cooler long enough to get hypothermia then the cold goes straight to your bones and a hot shower will only warm the top layers of you skin. A bath will get deeper into your muscles." She told him starting to unbutton his shirt but he took her hands in his unwilling to do anything at the moment. She looked into his eyes and saw his reluctance. She gave him a sad little smile and nodded her head before patting his chest when he let go of her hands. "I'll be out here when you're done." She replied. He smiled gratefully and brushed a lock of hair out of her face but refused to go further than that.
He went into the bathroom and locked the door for some privacy. He did get in the bath however which felt tremendous as it relaxed the muscles in his back which had complained loudly since he sat up from his icy nap. Mac dwelt upon his thoughts some more now that he didn't have interruption. As much as he hated to admit it he had never really loved Peyton but found her an easy tonic for the pain of loosing his wife.
Mac hated himself after coming to that realization and couldn't help but wonder how many other women he had taken advantage of over the years. He made a decision there and then that he would never make the same mistake again; especially not with Stella. He would find someway to either deal with his attraction to her which he could no longer deny or leave the crime lab all together.
He was one of the richest men in New York City he didn't have to work. He did it because he enjoyed helping people but it wasn't the only thing he could do. Chief Kane had said he was a right Sherlock Holmes when he was younger. That was what had finally convinced him to join the force. Mac could feasibly use his credentials to procure any job in America but he would miss his unit.
It was a drastic measure to be sure but one he was willing to take if it came down to hurting another woman or his own sanity. He'd locked up criminals for less than what he'd done and he wasn't about to let himself get away with it. That kiss with Stella Bonasera had been the best and worst kiss of his life, one he would never forget no matter what the outcome.
