I woke up early because I forgot to close the blinds, and when I wake up I just can't make myself go back to sleep.
I washed my face and went downstairs. I saw no point in changing out of my pajamas since I knew no one would be awake for a few hours.
I got to the kitchen and saw that Minky already prepared breakfast and put a heating charm on it. I sat at the breakfast bar and plated everything on my plate – pancakes, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon and some salad, and poured myself some coffee. I started digging into my plate and read the Daily Profit. I wondered who was subscribed to it? Probably Scorpius since I could rule out everyone else.
And lo and behold! Scorpius just came to the kitchen. I should have thought of a million galleons.
"Sleep well?" he asked with a wink. He didn't change out of his pajamas as well, not bothering with a shirt either. I can't say I complain.
"Yeah, though I probably could sleep more, I was so tired last night." I wasn't awake enough for a witty remark.
"Yeah, I worked you really well." He sounded proud of himself.
"No, I think it was the dancing that wore me out." I said nonchalantly. He smirked.
We sat in silence once Scorpius was eating and drinking his coffee.
"Anything interesting in the Profit?" He inquired.
"Not really… it's mostly about the cooperation with the French Aurors on this big case."
"Are you going to the trials in two weeks?" He asked.
"Yeah. I just don't know if that is really what I want to do though, be an Auror."
"I know I want to. Really want to. It is what I wanted to do since I was a kid."
"Lucky you. I envy people that just know what they want for themselves." I said to him. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him, knowing that he won't judge me because people have been judging him all of his life, he doesn't do that to other people.
"I get that. But, I don't think I will make it. They passed my initial application but most people get through that stage. I don't think they will let me into the program." He said dead serious.
"Why are doubting your abilities? I think you will make an exceptional Auror. I've seen you dueling, you cast spells quickly and you can do a lot of wandless spells!" I said truthfully.
"I don't doubt my abilities, I think I have what it takes to be an Auror. I just know they will never allow a Malfoy to be an Auror." He said seriously, not meeting my eyes.
I didn't know what to say. I guess in some way I understood his worries. Dad is an Auror and he hates the Malfoys, and most of the senior Aurors fought on the War, on the good side, so yeah, it is understandable.
"That's ridiculous! When they will see you and your abilities in the trials they will surely look past your name. You didn't do anything wrong! You didn't exactly have a say to which family you were born into!" I surely felt passionate about that.
"Thank you for believing in me. Really." He said with a winning smile. Even if they don't accept him to the Auror academy, he won't have any problem becoming a model.
"Maybe you just give them your winning smile and that will melt all their prejudices against you." I smiled back.
"Oh, I have a winning smile?" He teased.
I blushed.
We fell back into silence, a comfortable one. Me just reading the paper while Scorpius went for a second round of food.
Then thoughts came into my head about Scorpius being an Auror. There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask him about that but I wasn't sure we were in that stage of our newly found friendship to be this invasive and open. I tried my luck anyway. Why not?
"How did your dad take it? You wanting to be an Auror and all." This did seem a bit too nosy.
"Umm… well, not pleasantly at first. He just didn't understand where I was coming from. Also, he kind of wanted me to continue with the family business. He also said that I just won't have a chance in the department because of the people that work there, they won't take too lightly to someone of my background. But, he supports me in everything. Even if it is only for me to make a mistake and learn from it." He said with an appreciative little smile.
"Wow. Your dad sounds really nice." I said softly.
He met my eyes and said "Yeah. He really is."
"Do you have a good relationship with your dad?" Okaaay Rose, I think you crossed the line. This is something you ask a really good friend, not someone you only realized existed like a week ago.
He looked at me as if contemplating if he wanted to open up to me or not.
"It's complicated…" the first option then. "I love him, and he's a great father. But he is haunted by his past. He keeps having nightmares all the time, and he is petrified of the dark it is sometimes humiliating to see a grown man like that. But, since my mom got sick I appreciate him much more. I used to resent him for what he did basically from the minute he was born till he was 18, but I came to forgive him. He was in a position that made it almost impossible for him to act differently." And I thought my life was complicated. He laughed. Ohh, I said it out loud.
"Your mom is sick? I thought I saw her in the last memorial ball."
"She was sick since I was 12. She has a blood condition that makes her weak and tired. There isn't a complete cure for this. Some days she feels good and comes out of her room and hangs in the library or her gardens. But sometimes she can't even lift a finger or talk for months. She isn't really a part of our daily life. I talk to her sometimes but it pains me to look at her so I try not to. She goes to the memorial ball every year. It's the only time she goes out of the manor, says she won't miss it."
There were tears in my eyes, some falling down already. My eyes were stuck on his face like in a trance. I couldn't believe there was someone hurting so much like this, and from such a young age.
"Why are you crying? If anyone should be crying it's me." He said with a soft laugh and brushed a tear from my cheek.
"Sorry, I get emotional very quickly. It's just that it isn't fair! You have so much hardship as it is with your family's past, your dad and whatever is going on with him, and then your mom not being able to be there for you. How is it possible you managed through it?"
"First off, life isn't fair, I grasped that early in life and excepted it. I have great friends. Well, mostly it was Al all through first and second year. Without him I probably would have killed myself by now. And then I opened up more to other people, started making more friends, joined the Quidditch team and filled my spare time with studying and girls." He smirked.
"I can't imagine my life without my family." I said stupidly. That is not something you should be telling someone that doesn't have that!
"I can't imagine my life without your family either."
I smiled big at that.
"I can spare a few cousins for you. Maybe some Aunts and Uncles. You can take Percy and Audry! No one will miss them!" I laughed. It was true though.
"I like your smile better than your crying face. Don't ever do that again in front of me." I felt like I was slapped in the face, but a good kind of slapped in the face. Like shocked that he said that. A good shock.
It took me a few seconds to recover from that.
"I can't promise you that, told you I am an emotional person. And a girl on top of that."
"Then I can promise you I will never make you cry." They don't make guys like that anymore.
"Deal." I hoped he would keep to his promise forever.
There was a knocking sound on the window. I twisted to see what it was and noticed my snowy owl Peach holding a letter. I went to open the window for her and she swooped down to the bar where we sat. I took the letter from her and offered her a piece of bacon as a treat.
I noticed it was a letter from my mom.
"This woman is crazy! I've been here for a day for Merlin sake." I giggled.
My Dear Rose,
So?! How is Ibiza? I haven't been there since you were about 10 years of age. Is it as hot as I remember it? What have you been up to on your first day? I hope you remember to have fun and make the most of it! This will probably be your only completely worry-free summer and you should take advantage of that because it won't be coming again!
Love you,
Hermione Granger-Weasley.
"I kind of like that your mother signs her letters to you as her full name and not just "mom". He sounded amused.
"Yeah. And she always writes the "Granger" part although she legally changed her last name to Weasley when she got married. Weird one that one…" I said lovingly.
"While we are opening up about ourselves, it seems like the ratio of openness doesn't tip in my favor. So, tell me something about yourself no one knows." He had a twinkle in his grey stormy eyes.
"Something about me no one knows…" I questioned myself. Was there something no one knew about me? A secret I was keeping? A bat habit of mine I didn't want anyone to know? Then it dawned on me – there is nothing of that sort. I've been alive for 17 years, almost 18 now and I was the epitome of boredom. There is nothing interesting about me, and nothing no one else knows about me.
"I a…. there isn't really something no one knows about me. I'm a perfectly boring witch." I said with a smile trying not to sound melancholy. But of course he picked it up.
"Well, you do have something only one person knows about. And it is quite controversial." He winked. He meant our agreement and amazing sex we have.
"Yeah. But there is no secret of mine you don't know. There really aren't any secrets of mine besides our arrangement at all."
"There must be something. I mean, why have you felt compelled to have this perfect clean persona about you since you were born?"
"It's just my personality. Nothing made me this way…" I didn't understand his question really.
"From our recent encounters, I glimpsed into a different kind of Rose, the real Rose, not the one people see that is a replica of her mother." And Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a home run.
I averted my eyes from him and looked at my fingers nestled in my lap. How could he see through me? No one has been able to, not even Al.
"You don't have to answer to that if it makes you uncomfortable." He said sympathetically.
"No. You are perfectly right. I grew up to two of the three people that saved the wizarding world, probably preventing World War 3. There was a lot of pressure on me to be as smart as my mother, and as kind, friendly and strong as my father. So I spent most of my time studying, being nice to everyone, not rebelling or breaking the rules, befriending mostly Gryffindors and just generally going through life without a hitch. But I just recently realized – that so called pressure I had to be this kind of person wasn't real, it only existed in my head, and it made me this person that is not me. I just have no idea how to break out of that mold. That is really why I have no idea what sort of profession I want to go into. I have been living a life as someone else that I have no idea what Rose really wants to do or to be." Realization dawned on me and smacked me on the head.
"So who is the real Rose?" he questioned softly.
I looked up to him as my eyes watered again, but I won't let the tears down again.
"I don't know." I said with a sad smile.
"Then we will figure it out together." He offered his winning smile to me and I somehow knew everything will be fine.
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A\N
Thank you so much for reading!
Please comment to let me know if you like the story! Comments truly make me happy and inspired to write more :)
