I've decided to bring in a new tech producer to work with Freddie...so he has a friend to bond with :p

Sorry for any mistakes. I always do a spelling an grammar check but sometimes it's hard to read over a whole chapter you just typed up.

iOwn Nothing! But Nathan and Tanner and Kyler!


Why and when do people stop learning? Can it be because you're dropped on your head at a small age or you already know to much? Or maybe your brain just isn't capable of holding more than average information.

What makes an idiot and idiot?

Just like a nerd a nerd.


Nathan is standing beside Benson the next day as we get ready for the new iCarly. Kyler took it surprisingly well and told me to keep an eye on him. I guess they knew each other.

So when Court comes in with a bag, yes a bag, of lemonade…I fight the urge to sigh. Carly takes the bag and talks to him like he's Nathan but dumber.

Which he is but still.

We coo at him and tell him he's done good even though I want to correct him. It's a habit because of Nathan. I always have to teach him the right way, and seeing as this guy's brain is that of a four year old…I really, really want to correct him. But I don't.

"Who brings lemonade in a bag?" Benson asks. I have to agree with him. He's upset because it wasn't Kyler we hired. Kyler who had talent compared to the he-dummy who gave is bagged lemon juice.

"Is that wrong?" Court is so stupid it's almost just plain cute rather than annoying because of the itch to correct him.

"No, it's thoughtful and sweet." Carly soothes, patting his arm.

Freddie rolls his eyes and huffs. "I need to see the notes you took Court."

The pretty idiot nods. "Sure thing pal." He searches for his notes and holds up the pearpad after looking around for a second. "Here you go buddy."

Oh…he wrote on it with marker. I look at Carly who chews her lip. She gives me a worried glance. That cost us eight hundred bucks! And he ruined it! I think I'm getting a brain tumor…my brain is starting to throb from the itch to correct him and fire him.

"You wrote with a marker on the pearpad?" Benson raises his voice. He's still going through puberty…his voice reaches a few high notes.

"Carly said I should use it to write notes."

"This cost eight hundred bucks!" Benson snaps his last words kinda screechy.

"Dude, that's insane!" He takes out a note pad. "You can get one of these for a dollar!" He's too stupid to be cute right now. Now we have to buy a new one. We got it because Carly said it reduces paper waste and all that good stuff.

Freddie groans and rubs his temple. "It hurts." He grumbles.

We have twelve seconds to show. Carly hands the bag back to Court and we step back, ready to start.

We do a little dance on the spot as Freddie counts down. "In five, four, three, two,"

"One!" Court finishes. You're not supposed to say one, I never knew why but I guess it's bad. Benson sighs as he motions us to start the show.

"Once upon a time there was a Carly," I start, a wide grin on my face.

"Who met a wondering freak named Sam." She plants a kiss on my cheek. Everybody knew now so…it was alright. And that made it ten times sweeter.

"Then one day," I chime.

"The two girls drank from a filthy bucket!" Carly jumps back as I mime drinking.

"And thus was born," we're great show people, don't you think. "iCarly!" We shout together.

I can see Nathan laughing at our silly act beside Fred-dork's tech set. We get ready to pull our first skit of the night, filling Gibby's mouth with baby peacock feathers.

But then there's a loud zapping sound and a scream. We look over. Court is covered with what I assume is lemonade, the laptop is smocking, but what calls my attention first and foremost is Nathan shrinking back and holding his arm. He's been shocked. Literally.

I'm next to him so fast I can't even remember moving my feet. He has a nasty red mark on his upper arm. I lift him up quickly and glare at Court. "Who has anything liquid around electricity?" Especially in a bag and especially around a kid? Oh yeah…an idiot.

He looks confused and upset and sorry and I know Carly can't fire him. I charge out of the room and head to the bathroom and take out the first aid kit. "You okay?" I soothe. His little crystal blue eyes are leaking these huge crocodile tears. And if I weren't so worried I'd think of it as cute.

He sniffles and nods. Aww, he's trying to be a tough little man. I check the mark. It's angry and slightly swollen. He's gunna have a slight blister there. I run cold water over it out of a small cup and I rub burn ointment on it gently and some itch cream so he won't scratch at it. I wrap it tight enough it won't slip off but loose enough so it won't make the mark worse.

"You wanna lay down?" He sniffles again, nodding. I hoist him up and he wraps his little arms around my shoulders. I take him to Carly's room and lay him down, turning on cartoons. "You need anything just call for me okay?" He nods.

I leave him to watch his shows.

I don't bring Nathan up to Court. It's the last time I let him anywhere near my little brother again. Carly doesn't fire him, she told me he was so sorry and wanted to help but she kept him here because she thought he'd make it worse.

He tried to clean the laptop with his shirt. So much for this weeks' iCarly. I agree with Freddie that we should fire him, but Carly is worried he'll get into trouble because of his lack of brains if we don't watch him.

I have to agree.


I have Nathan on my lap as me and Carls are watching Court jump on the small trampoline in the floor and count. "That's not how you count." I mumble to Nathan. He nods and giggles, falling back so he was leaning against me. His bandages are changed and his arm still has an angry red blister that got a little bigger but he seems to be doing fine.

Court gets to what he assumes is a hundred and Carly and I clap for him. He's cute in that little kid way kids are cute to teenagers. Like little Nathan who sighs and shakes his head when Court talks about believing in himself.

Mom was worried about Nathan but I explained the situation, she agreed that I should fire him and fast. But I couldn't change Carly's mind. I'd just have to keep Nathe as far from him as possible.

"You guys got any iCarly stuff for me to do?"

Carly got the list we wrote. I wasn't expecting much and I clapped a hand to my forehead when he said, "I don't know where to get a Todo."

Carly laughs sympathetically. "No sweetie that says to do."

Hey, I'm sweetie…not this he-dummy! She glances back at me sees me pouting. She giggles and steps over. "Don't pout." She leans down and I tilt my head back. She's gives me those sweet little kisses I love so much. Court and Gibby don't seem to mind.

And then Freddie is there. "Knocker-knocker." Oh my goodness…he actually used his hand to hit the door. It's a miracle!

But Carly keeps giving me those tiny kisses, and I'm trying to pull back so Benson won't feel strange or bad or alienated. Next thing I hear are stomps and the door slamming closed. Carly pulls back and frowns.

"Freddie looks upset." Gibby observed.

Carly sighs. I know what I have to do; it's not something that can be put off anymore. I hand Nathan over to Carly and tell her to keep a close eye on him. I chase after Freddie.


He's stomping down the street when I find him. "Benson!" I shout, he just walks faster. "Benson!" I try again, jogging.

"Freddie will you wait a second!" I finally shout as we reach a new block. He stops and whips around. I've never seen him this angry with me, with anyone.

"How'd you do it Sam?" He snaps.

"What?"

"How'd you do it? How'd you get Carly?"

"…Are you insinuating something here Benson?"

He scoffs. "Did you drug her? Trick her?" He really thinks I'd do something like that? To Carly of all people? Maybe someone else but never Carly. "Is it some prank?"

What prank lasts a month? "You've got some nerve Benson."

"Why you! I'm nicer than you, usually cleaner than you," I take a shower everyday thank you. "I don't break people's arms or play stupid tricks on people for no reason! So why you? Out of all people…why you?"

I shrug. "I dunno. But it's done. Alright? Get over it." It was easy to say because I'm not good with expressing myself.

"No, because I just don't get it!"

"I am trying here Freddie! I'm trying to make this okay! I am trying to act like nothing's changed but I can't! I can't keep pretending for your sake and neither can she." I finally snap. "I love Carly, I have for years. And I know you have to and I know you're better than me, okay? I know it. All of it."

He still looks so upset.

"I can't help how I feel and neither can she. I didn't trick her, drug her, or convince her to help me with a prank. She and I are a thing and you need to get over this little attitude."

"…You don't deserve her."

"Like I don't know that?" And there was still so much I wanted to say, that I knew he wanted to say. But neither of us had the right words right now so we let it drop. For now.


After Court ate our props and had another close call with Nathan we finally fire Court.

We give Kyler a call and he's more than happy to take the job. We're sitting around the island at Carly's place. Spencer is making us Spaghetti tacos!

Benson and I have been at a stalemate since his storm out. And we still want to talk, still want to scream, and still want to claw each other's eyes out because one of us just won't quit in the other person's eyes…but we're not sure how to go about it.

So Carly sits between us every time we're in the same room.

"I'm honestly surprised you even hired Court." Kyler chuckled. His hair was messy but somehow stylish compared to Benson's.

"You sound like you know him." Carly chuckles.

Kyler makes a face, shrugging. "I've lived on the same street as Court for about six years now. Anybody who's lived there for longer than a year knows Court. With all the messed up gardens and the tripped over cable cords and the broken windows. I thought you guys knew his track record for being so clumsy."

"I thought he was just dumb." I quip, looking over at Nathan on the couch, his arm was better than before. Much better. The blister had shrunk and now he just had a sore angry red blotch on his arm.

"Well he's clumsy because he's so dumb." Kyler laughed.

Carly lets her head fall on my shoulder. "We shouldn't have hired him in the first place."

"No kidding." I sighed. Kyler shook his head with a smile. "We learned the hard way." I mumble.

"Most people do." Kyler teases. He's a nice kid. He should get along with Freddie pretty well. I look at Freddie, only he's sitting back, getting up, and walking towards the door. I nudge Carls gently and follow him.

"Benson." I follow him out the door and close it softly behind me. He looks back, sullen. "Can you just drop this whole attitude problem?"

"No, I can't. And I should but it's hard. I've been in love with her since I first saw her and I've always thought someday she'd pick me. But she doesn't. She picks you."

"I'm sorry this is hard for you I am. But things are always gunna change. It doesn't mean it's bad."

"Yes it does. Because you're with the girl of my dreams. And it hurts. And I know I should get over it or try to…but I can't. It's too hard."

I sigh. This was getting to be too much. "You know Fredward…if this had turned out the other way around, I'd accept it. And yeah it'd hurt…but I just want Carly to be happy. And if she had chosen you over me I'd accept it because it'd make her happy."

"I know. Okay? I know that, and I just want her to be happy too. And I keep trying to be her best friend and stop being jealous but I can't help it! I just can't."

…How'd we get to this point?

"And even though I still want to be friends with both of you and just keep moving forward I can't…," he sighs. He wants to say something he thinks may hurt me. And maybe it will but I doubt it. Because his opinion of me has never mattered. Not like Carly's.

"You can't what?" I'm 'Sam' again. I cross my arms and wait for him to finish.

He sighs, hands going into his pockets. And I realize it's not me he thinks he'll hurt, it's Carly. Because he's just like me. He doesn't want to say anything that'll hurt her. "I can't help but regret ever meeting you."

It doesn't hurt, but if I know Carly, and I do, she's listening through the door with Spencer and Gibby. I nod. "And I regret you peer pressuring me." I snip.

"I didn't peer pressure you."

"Yes you did. You knew Carly was upset, you knew it'd bother me and you knew my head wouldn't be on straight and you still asked if we should kiss just to get it out of the way. I regret it." That kiss had made me feel twisted up inside, like I was wrong and horrible and I felt disgusted with myself for what I'd done.

"You didn't have to agree!"

"Yes I did, because I knew Carly would be disappointed in me if I didn't help you talk about your stupid feelings! I figured if it'd help you then maybe she'd be proud of me for once!"

He glared at me. And it was silly of me to say but it's true. I always hated seeing her look so disappointed with me. I just wanted her to be proud of me. So I thought if it'd help him…and even if I never told her…she'd be proud of me because I helped.

He snarled and opened his apartment door and slammed it. He knew I was right, and it was wrong to just blame him but I had to shout and get that off my chest. I was sick of it weighing me down.

I turn back to the Shay's door and turn the knob slowly. I hear footsteps as I open it. I see Carly and Spencer looking out of breathe and Gibby sitting awkwardly on the couch. Nathan looks confused and Kyler is snickering behind a hand.

I ignore everyone else and walk over to Carly. I have a hand on either side of her face and I pull her into a kiss carefully.

I don't deserve Carly. She's worth more than my whole life. I kiss for all I am though. And it may not be worth much, it may not be worth millions or amazing jewels or anything special. It may not even be worth my five dollar shirt I'm wearing now.

But it's all I have.

And I'm more than willing to give it.


That stupid first kiss. That stupid, stupid move I didn't want to do, and had Carly not been swimming through my head that night and I wasn't covered in guilt…I wouldn't have.

But I was thinking of Carly, and my head was not on straight, and I was covered in guilt and riddled with panic that if I did not fix Freddie…she'd denounce me as her best friend.

I remember when it came up. When he handcuffed me to Gibby and I chased after him, even ripping the lock off the door…what I wouldn't give to go back and fix a few details of that whole time line.