Espada Vacation

Chapter 7~U~

~U~

"Maria, I love you, I cannot live without you! Maria!"

Suddenly, the TV shut off.

"Ulquiorra, my son, we did not come into this world and go halfway across it to sit in front of a television screen and rot. Let's go do some sight seeing!" exclaimed Aizen-sama as he pulled my book out of my hands and threw it in a drawer. I didn't want to go outside, but Aizen-sama told me it was quite peaceful. He also told how "fabulous" this place was and how "yummy" the "pizza" is here. I didn't want him to drone on forever about how wonderful a city that he was planning to take over some day was great, so I just agreed to go sightseeing.

"I will go," I said as I stood up and pulled on a light jacket since it was a bit windy out.

"Yes, my child, I want you to go with a few of your brothers and sister. They do not want to be left out. Show them the beauty of this world before I crush it, Ulquiorra." Aizen-sama opened the door as I stepped through it. Once I was out, he shut the door. A clicking noise indicated that he locked it. I heard the TV turn on as I turned to go gather the trash.

~U~

"I'll go, Ulquiorra-sama!" called out Mai. I had come to both rooms to ask who wanted to actually come, and Mai seemed like she was about to jump on me from excitement (or relief) to get out of the room.

"I'll go, too," said Grimmjow as he followed Mai out the door. Nnoitra got up also with a grin.

"I don't wanna miss the fun!" he scanned the over crowded room. "You losers stay here and watch humans beat the snot out of each other on TV."

I sighed in my mind. I thought they would all want to stay in their rooms... But now I have to go "sight seeing" with them.

"I'll go, too."

...and Szayel Aporro... So now I have to go sightseeing with Mai, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Szayel Aporro.

"Let's go and get this over with." I started heading out the door, the other four following me when Szayel Aporro pulled Nnoitra back and Grimmjow covered Mai's eyes.

"Don't turn around," he told her, stifling an annoying giggle (that was manly, he said once when I pointed out that men shouldn't giggle). I turned around and immediately turned back.

"Why?" she asked, sounding a bit annoyed. "Move your hand or I'm gonna bite your wrist." Grimmjow "tsk"ed before Mai bit him.

"OW! You little bitch!" he pulled his hand away and held it to his chest.

"I told you."

"Szayel, dude, not gay."

"I am not either, but put on some pants before going out in public. Heck, put on some underwear since we're all sharing a room!" scolded Szayel as he smacked the back of the Quinta's head.

"Why should I?" Nnoitra yelled back as he turned to go pull on some pants.

"There's a lady present," Szayel Aporro pointed out as he gestured at Mai, who made a very smart decision to not turn around. "Also, even if I WAS gay, you're not my type."

"I'm out of your league anyways," Nnoitra called from the bathroom. When he came out, he wore a ridiculous plaid attire.

"Let's go, bitches."

~U~

We were waiting to cross the street so we could begin our 'fabulous' (as Aizen-sama had said) sight seeing adventure.

"...tsk, Nnoitra, you wouldn't be the one saying "Let's go, bitches!" said Grimmjow. Nnoitra turned back at him.

"Why? You're all my bitches and you'll do anything as I say!" He said rather loudly and proudly. Nnoitra pulled everyone into what Gin called a 'group hug' or 'huddle' and whispered in an annoying way. "Anything~"

"DUDE! That's disgusting! That's even wronger then Szayel!" shouted Grimmjow as he elbowed himself out of the way.

"I'm not wrong! I'm who I am and I'm proud of it! You're just jealous because I am the PERFECT being!" Szayel Aporro pushed up his glasses while raising his middle finger at the two without them noticing. He glared when he was done. "Now hush up or I'll dissect you while you're all still alive."

Grimmjow started shouting some nonsense about being the king as Szayel Aporro continued to go on about being perfect. Nnoitra also chimed in about how he was the strongest Espada, which is an obvious lie, and how women should be extinct. I sighed at the noise they were creating. It didn't help that Mai started yelling at them all to be quiet, even though they just ignored her.

"Your MOM should be extinct!" yelled Grimmjow as he flicked Nnoitra in his good eye.

"She should be because she's a woman!" countered Nnoitra as he kicked the Sexta in the shin. When he got a kick to the stomach as a reply, the two started fighting as if it was for the title of who got to behead Aizen-sama in his sleep.

"If your mother was extinct, YOU wouldn't be here," Szayel Aporro said with his smile as he pushed the two away from each other. "Even though that isn't a BAD thing, but you two twits need to think more! If women didn't exist, than none of you would be here because there was no mother to give birth to you!"

"T-M-I!" shouted the two as they jabbed a finger at the Octava. They stared at each other for a moment before grinning and shouting at the same time again. "JINX!" They continued grinning as they continued shouting. "DOUBLE JINX!"

Szayel Aporro rolled his eyes before crossing the street. I followed along with Mai as the two continued to yell at each other.

"TRIPLE JINX!" they both jabbed a finger at each other. "QUADRUPLE JINX!" They were about to shout again when they both stopped and ran to catch up with us.

"Where should we go first?" asked Szayel Aporro as he sat down on a bench after disinfecting it. He pulled out a small map and scanned over it. I leaned over slightly and saw that the closest thing to here was a place that had pizza. Thankfully, the pink haired scientist did not pick to go there. "Why don't we walk a bit and go get some sandwiches? They sell some down a few blocks."

He was ignored because the trash had figured out that they were still having their trashy 'jinx' contest.

"QUINTUPLE JINX!" they yelled at each other. Szayel Aporro rolled his eyes as he got up and pocketed his map. He lead the way down the sidewalk where many other humans were.

"The place isn't too far, if you don't want to come, stay. If you don't want to stay, come, it's not science. Well, I COULD make it science, but it's your choice." I did not want to be left with Nnoitra and Grimmjow, so I went with Szayel Aporro.

"Wait...what's next?...Quinta..." Nnoitra seemed thoughtful for a bit.

"Me! Sexta! I'm the Sexta! So..." The two pointed at each other once again. "SEXTUPLE JINX!" they shouted before glaring at the other.

"OCTAVA JINX!" Eighth...when will they notice that we are leaving? "You skipped one!" they shouted at each other. "SO DID YOU!"

They stopped for a moment.

"NOVENA JINX!"

~U~

"Ulquiorra, feel free to browse the store while I get us sandwiches," said Szayel Aporro as he went to stand in line.

"Fine, but if I see that you tampered with it in any way, shape, form, or even idea, then you will be asking for a swift death," I told him as he pocketed the tiny jar he had been taking out of his pocket. He smiled back at me.

"Now why would I ever do that?"

Once I entered the shopping part of the place, it was much quieter. Still noisy, but not as loud as the sandwich place. I walked over to a shelf and looked down at the hats and T-shirts that they were selling. They had different colors, but they didn't have any black or white, which just showed how flashy humans try to be. I was about to walk on when a hat was placed on my head. It was a bit large so it fell over my eyes.

Turning around, I was about to punch the person, but they jumped out of the way. I pushed the hat up to see Lilinette Gingerback. She stood in front of an exhausted looking Starrk, Tia stood a few feet away, watching with a small smile.

"Ulquiorra, you're such a meanie! Loosen up a bit!" she said with a grin as she picked up a T-shirt and hat. "I'm gonna get a hat so we can match!"

"No, Lilinette, I don't-"

"No worries, Ulquiorra! If you're THAT cheap, I'll be nice to you for once and buy it for you!" exclaimed the blonde as she skipped over to the cashier after she pulled my hat off.

I glanced over at Starrk and Tia. They were just standing there, amused smiles on their faces. They didn't say a word as Lilinette skipped back over and placed the hat on my head. She beamed, saying that if I dressed up like a 'cow boy' than Starrk and I would match or something.

"Let's go sight seeing! Aizen-sama sent me and Starrk and Halibel out! Barragan just sat in front of the TV and whined about kingship or somethin'..." Lilinette paused before jumping up and dragging us out toward the shops.

~U~

"Lilinette-!" She didn't listen as she continued running into a store. We followed since we had no other choice. Szayel Aporro had caught up and decided to help Lilinette pick out the 'perfect' bathing suit.

"I think the red and white don't look bad on you, Lilinette. It may look too flashy on someone as dull as Ulquiorra, but if looks just fine on you," said Szayel from a few racks away. He walked over to Starrk and I, who were standing by the junk that they sold. Tia was off trying to find a new swim suit as well. "Ulquiorra, you go and try on this one. Black will contrast with your sickly pale skin, so you'll look better."

I took the hanger that Szayel Aporro gave me and headed into a changing room.

"And Starrk, you should try on that dark blue. We'll see how it looks on you. And I think you'll enjoy swimming, so go and get some swim gear, there's a beautiful ocean in the Bahamas and we do NOT want to miss it!" exclaimed Szayel as he sauntered away.

I stopped for a moment inside the changing room. When Szayel Aporro said 'blue', it made me think that I was forgetting something...

~M~

"Achoo!" I sneezed as we walked through a parking lot. Grimmjow and Nnoitra were still going at their jinx fight.

"TWENTY-THIRD JINX!" They both shouted as Nnoitra tripped and fell. Grimmjow took advantage of the moment and shouted, "TWENTY-FOURTH JINX! HA! I won! You owe me a soda, Jiruga!" yelled Grimmjow. He looked forward to the pizza place ahead of us. "On second thought, you can buy pizza AND soda."

"Damn you, Jeagerjaques!" Nnoitra yelled with a grin as he got up. Once we got up to the place, Grimmjow plunked down on the bench, pulling me down with him. He grinned up at Nnoitra.

"Get a pizza for us, m'dear butler! My lady here would just have a salad, she's on a diet to get rid of some junk in the trunk," Grimmjow said in an accent as he gestured towards the door. I smacked his head.

"I am NOT fat!" Grimmjow pushed me back.

"Of course, darling," he said, drawing it out with an accent, making it sound like dawl-ing. He switched back to his normal voice, still being half sarcastic. "Whatever makes you happy, Mai. If you say you're not fat and not on a diet, than you're not."

I rolled my eyes. How does Harribel deal with this all the time? Some men are so rude.

"Right, so a meat lovers pizza and a salad. I'll get some cinnamon bread since Szayel loves those and would scarf them all down by the time we get back to the room," Nnoitra was about to go in when I spoke up.

"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I eat salad all the time. I'll just share a pizza with you guys, but you could get a salad for Ulquiorra-sama instead," I said. Nnoitra smirked and ruffled up my hair.

"Look who thinks she's all high and mighty, thinking herself equal to Grimmjow to give me orders! Hah!" He went in after messing up my hair even more. "Stay with your master, bitch."

I stood there for a moment. I growled, "What did he just call me?"

"He called you a bitch," Grimmjow said, being as unhelpful as ever.

"I'll be right back," I muttered as I pushed the doors angrily.

~U~

"Szayel Aporro, I no longer want to put up with any of this. You will help me get out of this ridiculous scuba gear, right now."

Lilinette giggled as Szayel Aporro rolled his eyes and started tugging the gear off. "Fine, but don't complain to me when you miss out on all the fun."

"Trust me, I won't." Once he was finished and I was in my own clothes again, we went out to go and get ice cream.

"I WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH WITH CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES AND A VANILLA TWIST WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS IN IT!" shouted Lilinette as we walked back to where we started. Nnoitra, Grimmjow, and Mai were nowhere in sight.

"Lilinette, you've had enough sugar in the room. Barragan needs to stop bribing you with candy..." Starrk mumbled as he sat down at a table once we entered the ice cream shop.

"Fine... Starrk you're so anti-vacation!" yelled the blonde as she poked Starrk really hard in the eye. He bolted up and towered over Lilinette.

"OW! LILINETTE!" The teenage boy who was behind the counter looked frightened out of his mind. Starrk sat back down, not wanting to seem like a child abuser. He sighed as he propped his head up on his hand. "I'm not anti-vacation, my idea of a vacation is sleeping."

"Then you have a vacation every night! Baka-Starrk!" When he didn't respond, Lilinette skipped up to the counter and smiled at the teenager. He still looked frightened as she scanned the selections of ice cream they had. "There's so many colors, you could make a rainbow! Speaking of rainbows, I'll take a rainbow sherbert, Mister!" She handed him the money as Szayel strolled up. He crouched down to look at the many colors and flavors of ice cream. With the look on his face, you would think that he was analyzing every flavor and color as if one of them contained the cure for idiots.

"I'll just have Oreo dip n' dots." Tia ordered as the boy nodded with a blush across his face. When he handed it to her, he held her hand for a second.

"It's on the house, Miss! And if you ever need anything, please, just come to me!" He exclaimed. Tia stared at him.

"I have one thing to ask." He nodded, excited to hear the request. "Let go of my hand or I'll kill you." He immediately did as asked.

After a long ten minutes, Szayel Aporro finally stood up. "I'll have the bubble gum, my good man." The boy got up and started getting the ice cream. "Make sure to add a bit of sherbert in there. Oh, and get some vanilla for my pale 'friend' here. Oh, also, get some chocolate chip cookie dough for sleepy one over there." He put down the money and sat down at a table. The place was empty except for us, so it got annoying very quickly when the Octava started tapping an old song on the table.

It also did not help that Lilinette knew the song and decided to sing along. It was also VERY unhelpful that the boy was taking so long to get the trashy ice cream.

"You say good-bye~ But I say HELLO~ Hello, good bye~! I dunno why you say goodbye, I say HEL~LO~O~!" sand Lilinette as she danced around with her ice cream. When they were done, they both were paused in a way as if they were expecting an applause.

"Well, aren't you going to ask for an encore?" asked Szayel Aporro. I was about to say no when the trashy boy who took too bloody long called that our ice cream was ready.

"Why don't we go outside and eat this? When we finish, we can go stroll around." Everyone agreed to Tia's suggestion. Starrk was asleep, so Tia and Aporro had to drag him.

Lilinette didn't mind at all that she had to carry his ice cream.

~U~

When we all were outside, Starrk had woken up and complained about being exhausted, so we all decided to sit down on a bench near the pizza place. We talked quietly for a bit. Lilinette and Szayel chatted about how some people were stupid and such. They were becoming friends over one night. Tia had a very short conversation with Starrk, who had closed his eyes agaom. I just sat there with my ice cream. After one spoonful, I decided that I didn't want something so cold at the moment.

"Ulquiorra? Why don't you smile?" asked Lilinette as she turned to me.

"Becush hesh an e-woe dunner," said Szayel through his mouthful of ice cream. Lilinette giggled as she shoveled some of Starrk's ice cream into her mouth.

"Whash?" After Szayel swallowed he grinned.

"Because he's an emo downer." Lilinette swallowed and turned to me again.

"You probably have a pretty smile, Ulquiorra. Even if it IS ugly, no one will make fun of you too much because you're stronger than most people." Lilinette ate more ice cream. "You could just pummel them to the ground if they make fun of you!"

Szayel laughed, "Yeah, you should smile, Ulquiorra. It's probably very pretty." I glared at Szayel Aporro.

That took my attention away from Lilinette, which was a bad idea.

"Smile, Ulquiorra!" she laughed as she grabbed my face and pulled the sides of my mouth upwards, making my face hideously smiling. "Haha, that's better! C'mon, Ulquiorra, loosen up, we're on vacation!"

Starrk had just started lightly snoring, signaling that he was having a peaceful sleep, when the door to the pizza place slammed open. Grimmjow walked out, looking irritated. Mai followed him, her cheeks were pink, part of her sleeve was ripped, and she was holding her arm lightly. Last came out Nnoitra, who was carrying two pizzas and a soda that he tossed at Grimmjow. Grimmjow shook it before aiming it at the Quinta. He opened it, letting the orange soda shoot out and hit the other in the eye.

We stared at them for a while, everyone was silent, except for Lilinette, she was slurping at her sherbert that was starting to drip. "What...happened?" asked Tia as she walked over to them. She took a look at Mai and I saw her eyes narrow in question. The other in turn looked away. "And who would like to explain everything?"

Curiosity had gotten our attention as Tia took the ribbon that Mai had and started tying it around her head. After a minute, she was done. The ribbon hung loosely to the side, pulling some of her hair down over her eye.

"Well...Nnoitra called Mai a bitch, so she went in after him and started yelling at him about how he should stop being sexist. That didn't end very well because they kinda started fighting..." Grimmjow tried and failed miserably at hiding his laugh. Soon, he was howling with laughtar.

"It didn't help that the damn Sexta started screaming "CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!" Nnoitra glared at the said Sexta, who started crying from laughing so much.

"SHUT UP!" Mai and Nnoitra both yelled at Grimmjow.

He still couldn't stop laughing.

~U~

Starrk complained about being tired, so Szayel and Lilinette decided to take them back to the room, delivering the pizzas also. We were going to go walking around and such. Nnoitra and Grimmjow stayed away from each other, thank Kami, but they still shot death glares at each other.

"I wanna go and pull some pranks though!" complained Nnoitra as he held out his arm, making people walk into it if they weren't paying attention. Many people did and glared at him.

"Can't I just go back to the room and go to sleep?" asked Grimmjow as he forced a yawn. (AN: I YAWNED~! XD)

"I'm tired too, can't I just go back?" said Mai as she glanced at the direction that Lilinette and Szayel lugged Starrk off.

"Go back, go anywhere, I don't care. I just want to walk around. Feel free to go and rot in your rooms on the one night we're in Florida," Tia snapped as she gave us a warning look.

No one went away. We all continued walking in silence. I didn't mind, of course. I prefer this to the bickering between Nnoitra and Grimmjow any day. They would probably talk and whine and yell and scream until the deaf can hear them. Nnoitra had put his arm down; now he was smirking down at Mai, who was glaring back.

"Whatever you're thinking of, don't even think about it," Tia warned without even turning around. The Quinta rolled his eye and mouthed 'bitch'. "Bastard," she retorted even though he didn't even say it.

"What happened anyways?" I asked Mai as she shifted a bit. When I saw that she didn't intend to reply, I pulled the soft fabric away from her face. The wind blew her hair out of the way and I saw that she had a black eye.

"Nnoitra happened."

The Quinta cackled at the sound of his name. "I got you GOOD, bitch! You only got a small scratch on me!" He cackled again.

"Shut up! You think you're so high and mighty, and yet you got beat up by Nel and Harribel!" Mai yelled angrily. I have never seen her this mad and I can tell that Nnoitra really got on her nerves.

"You make it seem like girls are weak, which they are! Thought you were Little Miss Feminist!" taunted Nnoitra as he cackled. "Or in your case, Little Miss Bitchy Bitch!"

"I was trying to make a point! If you're so high and mighty, you would be the Primera Espada! And you're not, now are you?" she took a breath before smirking up at him. "Let's here it, WHO'S the Primera?"

"Starrk! The lazy bastard doesn't deserve to be numero uno! I SHOULD! Screw Barragan, Harribel, and Ulquiorra! I'M the STRONGEST!" he yelled as passers-by started to stop and stare.

"I've seen you try and fight Ulquiorra and you FAILED!" yelled Mai as she aimed a punch at the Quinta, who leaned out of the way.

"Well, I've seen you kiss Grimmjow in his sleep and he always woke up screaming!" retorted Nnoitra as another punch aimed at him failed. Grimmjow stopped.

"You what? !"

"That' never happened!" she shouted as she kicked Nnoitra in the shin.

"And I never fought Ulquiorra!" yelled Nnoitra as he swung a kick, which aimed poorly because Mai barely had to duck because of their height difference.

"OWNED, BITCH!" yelled Grimmjow. They stopped for a moment before they all started to shout again.

"SHUT UP, NNOITRA!"

"SHUT UP, GRIMMJOW'S BITCH!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!"

I sighed as I walked back to the hotel with Tia. They didn't have the key so they would have quite a hard time getting back in.

"They're going to have a long night in the cold," commented Tia as we walked into the parking lot.

I nodded, "But the trash deserve it."

Tia smiled a bit behind her scarf, one of her out of character moments. "Damn straight."

END CHAPTER

AN: I told myself that I would have this finished and posted by six o'clock...I'm two hours and 22 minutes late...