Denial
By
: pnaixrose

Disclaimer: I do not own RK or any of the characters.


Chapter 7: Leave

Tsubame worked furiously as she wiped a table clean with a rag. She was steaming...furious! It was midday, the restaurant's rush hour and Yahiko still hadn't returned from his training. Where was he? Didn't he know that the restaurant needed him? Why that lazy, good-for-nothing, little...

"Don't you think that's clean enough, honey?" a fellow waitress commented as she busily passed by.

Tsubame stopped and noticed that indeed the table was shiny and clean. If she cleaned it any more she was sure she would rub a hole in it. She sighed, realizing how stupid she was for calling Yahiko all those horrible names. She wasn't really angry at him...

...she was just so upset that he was leaving. He was going to leave and see all these wonderful things and would be so happy and content. This journey he would embark on simply proved that he didn't need her. He didn't need her at all.

And it hurt because she was the one who needed him.

It was actually very odd. Yahiko was the free-spirited one who never needed a stable foundation. As for her, now that she had the restaurant, Tae-san, and her friends, she wanted stability. She was never one for adventuring. Hearing and listening to adventures, yes. However, she never felt like she was missing anything in her life. She always thought that she had everything she needed just living a simple lifestyle in one place. The only thing left she wanted was the one thing that wanted to get away and be free...Yahiko.

Yes, they were such different people, she and Yahiko. Yet she felt a special connection with him and his boyish personality.

It was so aggravating. She knew that Yahiko was going to go with Sanosuke on that journey of his. Did that mean that Tsubame meant nothing at all to him? That she didn't matter enough for him to stay?

She shook her head shamefully as she sighed. She was being selfish. Whatever Yahiko does...as long as he's happy, it would be fine with her. She needed to stop being so needy all the time.

Walking back into the busy kitchen she was bombarded by a chef who shoved a plate of food into her hands. "Table seven, don't slack on us now, Tsubame."

She gave a slight nod as she carried the plate. The restaurant was as busy as a bee hive, and here she was going into a daze! Forget about Yahiko for now. There would be time for that later. Right now, she had a job to do.

Besides, maybe it was a good idea to get Yahiko out of her mind.

Hurrying to table seven with a new, determined pace, she suddenly stopped cold as she saw the customer.

Sagara Sanosuke grinned and gave a friendly wink in her direction. "Yo. I'm back!"

Great. And here was the man who was responsible for Yahiko's leaving. Not that she disliked Sanosuke-san. In fact, she really admired the man. However, seeing Sanosuke-san made her remember that Yahiko was going to leave soon. How in the world was she going to get the boy out of her mind now?


"It's not like you have anything to live for here! Just accept the offer, Yahiko. I know you want it more than anything. Nothing's stopping you."
Yahiko looked confusedly at the angry girl. "Wait...you sound like...like you want me to leave."
"Maybe I do! It's not like you would care anyway!"

What the hell was her problem anyway? She knew more than anyone else that he wanted to get out of here again. Dammit. It was so hard to please women. Why don't they simply say what they mean?

Yes, he could admit that he was a bit pissed off right now. But he didn't really know why. Tsubame's words yesterday caught him off guard and now he was more willing than ever to just get up and leave the city right this second.

But why? Why did those words affect him so much?

"Wait...you sound like...like you want me to leave."
"Maybe I do! It's not like you would care anyway!"

He balled his palms into fists. Just thinking about what she said...it just made him so...so angry!

"You seem distressed."

The voice startled him at first. Actually, he didn't know why he had been so startled. Kenshin had been in front of him the whole time. It wasn't unusual for Kenshin to be outside the dojo at this time of day. After all, he almost constantly did laundry out there. Yahiko had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he had forgotten about the red head. "Aa. Maybe a little," the boy replied.

"You've been sitting there for a while, Yahiko. Your training ended ten minutes ago. And," Kenshin said as he hung another piece of clothing up to dry, "you keep making funny faces as you daze off."

"S-Sorry. It's just that...I was talking to Tsubame yesterday about Sanosuke's offer and...we got into a little fight about it. Now I'm just so...angry for some reason and..." Yahiko gave a frustrated sigh. "Never mind. I'll see you later, Kenshin. I have to go get some supplies for the journey."

The older man watched the boy walk away grudgingly and gave a small knowing sigh. "You know," Kenshin suddenly said just as Yahiko taking his leave, "it's said that anger often stems from hurt."

The comment caught Yahiko off guard causing the boy to stop in his tracks and look back at his friend.

Huh? Him...hurt? By what?

"Maybe I do! It's not like you would care anyway!"

Yahiko gritted his teeth and walked out of the dojo. Judging by the amount of anger that was building up inside of him, he was extremely hurt.

Oh, he hated it when Kenshin was right.


Tsubame gave the man his order with a slight smile on her lips. "Hello, Sanosuke-san," she greeted quietly without her usual gleaming smile.

Unfortunately, the usually absent-minded Sanosuke somehow noticed immediately. "What's wrong, Tsubame-chan? Not glad to see good ole Sano on this fine afternoon?"

He saw yet another unusual small smile. "I-It's not that. It's great to see you, Sanosuke-san."

Sano stared at her with a hard look on his face for awhile. Then he heaved a sigh. "Jeez. Are you two having trouble because of my little invitation?"

Her eyes widened. Was it that noticeable? "W-What are you talking about?"

"C'mon Tsubame-chan," he replied. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You know, I didn't mean to create tension between you two lovebirds. But Yahiko's been complaining for so long-"

Tsubame cast her eyes to the floor. "I know...He'll be excited to leave this place again. You're a good friend for inviting him."

Sano gave a smirk. "Hmph. You didn't let me finish. A good friend? Me? It's true that he's been complaining but I didn't invite him because of that. I just decided to show his blinded eyes that his life is here, not out there. Maybe then he'd finally shut up."

The girl raised an eyebrow. Yahiko's life is here? Maybe this man was a little crazy.

"You look like you doubt me, Tsubame-chan," Sanosuke said with a sigh.

"Um...maybe a little, Sanosuke-san. As you know, Yahiko-kun wants to leave this place more than anything. Everyone knows that."

The man smirked. "That's what he thinks." Sanosuke looked at Tsubame and her uncertain expression. "He has a lot to live for in this city. He just doesn't realize it yet."

Yes, Yahiko has a lot to live for here. And it was time that the brat finally appreciates it...or more specifically...her.

Besides, it was time to bring Yahiko's incessant complaints to an end.


A certain boy stomped through the streets angrily, mumbling to himself. The busy crowd that usually swarmed the streets avoided going anywhere near three feet of the crazy teen. His glaring expression was just that scary.

"'You know, it's said that anger stems from hurt,'" Yahiko said, mocking the laundry-loving swordsman, "Tch, Kenshin and his philosophical sayings. Well you know what? So what if I'm hurt? Anyone would have been hurt from what she said!"

Yahiko had just finished his supply shopping (in such a frenzied pace that he didn't noticed that all the other customers around him instantly disappeared) and was currently returning to the Akabeko. Kenshin's words from earlier that day were still fresh on his mind.

And it bothered him because he realized it was true.

Thinking that Tsubame didn't want him around hurt more than any flesh wound he had ever gotten. She was a close friend of his so it wasn't surprising that he would get hurt at what she said. Friends always fought and fighting always causes pain. Whether it is through swords or words, at least one person would end up hurt. It's not a hard concept to understand.

The thing that was hard to understand was why this recent fight with Tsubame hurt more than any other he had experienced. And the pain wasn't coming from a part of his body he could easily mend either. It came from deep in his chest...his heart.

He let out a low growl before gritting his teeth. "Fine then!" Yahiko yelled to himself, surprising everyone around him, "I'll leave! It's what I've wanted more than anything anyway! It's not like she wants me here! Dammit...I don't need her!"

It was then that he abruptly stopped his quick, furious pace. His eyes widened as he looked at the ground, oblivious to the stares he received from the people around him.

A flash of her tender smile. Her innocent laughter.

Suddenly, the thought of leaving this place hurt. He wouldn't be able to...be near her anymore. Yahiko clutched at the front of his shirt. Why couldn't he stop his heart from aching?

Yahiko stubbornly shook his head as he frowned. He was being stupid. It's not like he couldn't live without her. She was only a friend to him after all!


Sanosuke set his chopsticks down with a satisfied sigh, patting his full stomach. "Anyway, Tsubame-chan," he said getting up, "don't tell Yahiko about our little chat, okay?"

Tsubame gave a baffled shrug. "H-Hai. But you're leaving already Sanosuke-san? Didn't you want to talk to Yahiko-kun?"

The man shook his head and stuck a fish bone in his mouth. "Nah. Just wanted to talk to you actually. And to have some of the delicious food of course."

"Jeez...you and food," a voice said from behind him. "Sano, I hope one day you choke on a fish bone you constantly stick in your mouth."

Sanosuke smirked. "Seems like someone's a bit grumpy today."

Yahiko growled as he came up from behind him. "Shut up. Don't mess with–" He stopped abruptly as he realized Tsubame was there too.

The two teens locked eyes for less than a second before Tsubame gave a slight glare and turned her head. This little scene didn't go unseen by the amused man in white clothing.

Yahiko fumed. How dare she act all angry at him! He was the one who was steaming! Giving a frown, he turned to Sanosuke, an angered expression written all over his face. "Neh, Sano. I got supplies today for the trip. How long do you think it will be, by the way? A year? Two years? Maybe more?"

A huge sweat drop appeared on Sano's head as he realized that the girl in front of him was gritting her teeth. Count on Yahiko to be this stupid and stubborn. "Well I–"

"Excuse me. I have to go back to work," Tsubame interrupted with a fake smile on her lips. "Sanosuke-san, thank you for coming–"

Yahiko balled his hand into a fist, noticing that she was deliberately ignoring him. Dammit...he was so sick of this! She frustrated him so much! "Why are you so upset about me leaving, Tsubame? You said it yourself! You...You want me to leave! I don't understand it! Aren't we friends Tsubame?"

The outburst took her off guard and Tsubame bowed her head a bit after a moment of realization. Friends. Of course. How could she be such a fool? Yahiko didn't have any feelings for her like she did for him. Even after living with her for a few days and having all those fun conversations, she was only a friend. Even so...she had thought that...well she was hoping that...that maybe he did having feelings for her.

No, she was being stupid. Maybe it was time that she realized that nothing more would happen. Besides, he was right. She was acting out of line. She should be supporting him, not trying to stop him. If she couldn't do that then she didn't deserve to be even a friend, much less something more.

Seeing Tsubame's reaction, Yahiko instantly felt guilty. He inwardly cursed himself, realizing that he had definitely said too much. How could he do that to her? "Tsubame...s-sorry. I was being stupid again. I shouldn't have-"

She looked up, a fake smile plastered to her face. "N-No Yahiko-kun, you're right. If I were your friend I should be supporting you. I'm sorry." Tsubame backed up and turned, about to run away.

A hand grabbed her arm. "Wait, Tsubame I-" Yahiko stopped cold, his eyes wide.

Her back was towards him and he couldn't see her face, but he was sure...he was sure that he saw tears streaming down from her eyes.

He made her do that. He made Tsubame cry.

Tsubame took that time to pull her arm away from him and run, not looking back.

Meanwhile, Sano slapped his forehead and sighed. "Yahiko...you baka."

Yep. "Baka" was the perfect word to describe him.


Yahiko slowly walked back to Tae's eerily quiet house. The restaurant had closed a while ago and after cleaning it up and after finishing the other duties by himself, he had no choice but to face Tsubame. He felt horrible. She had locked herself in her room since their little argument that afternoon. It was passed sunset now and she still hadn't come out. Heck, she probably didn't eat any supper either.

Yahiko headed towards his room but stopped in front of hers. He looked at the floor guiltily.

She cried. And he had been the one who caused it. Damn. How could he be so stupid? No matter what the situation, nothing gave him the excuse to make her cry! In fact, no one should be making her cry at all!

He was so...angry at himself that he could almost pull out his bokken and smack himself across the head! Seeing her cry and knowing that it was his fault...gah! It frustrated him! But most of all, seeing her sad made him sad too. It was the kind of sadness that pulled at his heart and almost swallowed it whole.

Yahiko gritted his teeth and looked at the door in front of him. "T-Tsubame...ano...about today..."

Silence.

He tried to swallow to dampen his dry throat. He didn't know how to begin. "I-I'm sorry, Tsubame. Please...can I come in?"

Safely inside the locked room, Tsubame was sitting on the floor, leaning against the door. Her legs were cradled near her as she rested her chin on her knees. She had been sitting like this since that afternoon and was oblivious to the cramps she was getting from her position.

Tsubame closed her eyes as tears silently fell down her face. She felt so...defeated. Having accepted the fact that Yahiko would not see her as anymore more than a friend made her realize that talking to him again, seeing him again, or even just hearing him again would hurt because...she could never stop loving him.

Yes, this was no teenage crush. And even though she had never experienced it before she just knew that her feelings for Yahiko were the real deal.

That's why it hurt so much.

The silence was unnerving him. He began feeling desperate. "T-Tsubame...really, I'm sorry! You know me...stupid old Yahiko-chan!" he tried to joke.

No answer.

His voice became louder and more panicked. "P-Please! I didn't mean to...to make you cry! I would never want to do that!"

Nothing.

He let his head drop until it leaned against the door. "Tsubame," his voice was a mere defeated whisper now. "I...I would never...intentionally make you cry...because I never want to see anything but a smile on your face..."

Tsubame tried to ignore him. She really did try. But that last sentence did it.

W-Why did he have to do this to her? Why did he have to always insist that they were only friends but then suddenly say sweet things like that? Why did he have to constantly play with her emotions?

"Stop it, Yahiko-kun!" Her voice was coarse from not using it in awhile.

A sudden silence enveloped the other side of the door.

Another involuntary tear slid down her cheek. She really didn't want to deal with this right now. She didn't want to speak, hear, or even think about him. She didn't want to feel this pain anymore. "Y-Yahiko-kun...please...go back to the dojo tonight..."

His eyes widened. She wanted him out. Tsubame didn't want him here anymore. She truly didn't. Not in the apartment, not in the restaurant, and not even in the city. It seemed like she didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

He clutched at the front of his shirt again like earlier that day. His heart seemed to be throbbing even more than before. But this time, his whole body seemed to agree with it. He had never felt so much pain before.

"F-Fine," he said shakily. "I understand."

He was going to leave. Not only this apartment, but he was going to leave the city tomorrow with Sano. He had made up his mind and there was no stopping him.

And he wasn't even thinking about all the adventures he would have or how going on this journey was what he had been dreaming of for months. No. The only thing that was on his mind was how Tsubame wanted him out of her life. And if it would make her happy and stop her tears, he would gladly do it, no matter how beaten his heart felt.

Two pairs of shifty eyes watched as the downhearted boy left the premises. Two figures hidden among the trees smirked as they looked down at the Akabeko restaurant as they realized that this was their chance to act.

The brat was gone.