A/N: Thanks again for all of the reviews. I really do appreciate them. I am excited that people actually enjoy reading this.

WARNING: Quick justification for why this chapter exist (because yes I think there needs to be one). I knew the story would lead to a chapter like this eventually. I kept writing myself into this corner. Everything had been building between Grissom and Sara that it eventually had to boil over. When it would boil over it would get really messy because there is so much emotion left for the two. They still care a lot for each other, and that leads to a lot of strong emotions (anger being one of the biggest). The anger with the pain had to be so bad it was to the point of losing control at how wrong their love had gone, at first by forces outside of their control, and how they continue to just screw it up (they not just Grissom). It all had to be let out, they had to let go all of the anger and pain before they could be honest with themselves and each other. Grissom most of all, he has to be hit hard emotionally (not just physically) to make him vulnerable enough to be open and ready to talk. Once the anger and pain have been worked through the best way they could because they don't communicate it leaves them in a better position to be ready for the heart to heart that is needed. Essentially, be kind I really thought about just skipping to the happy ending but it felt wrong. Than I thought of taking some parts out but that seemed wrong to. I put more thought into this than I have anything else to date on in this story.


Chapter 7: The Red

No one quite understood how it started, even those who had been present were not sure what led to the events. Each person in the room would tell a slightly different story. Jade remembered listening to Chevelle. Greg having returned her headphones to her, she could now listen to her music at a volume that Grissom would complain about later.

She was walking to the kitchen, Grissom and Rick were at the table. Rick stood quickly, so forcefully he sent the chair he had been sitting toppling over to the ground. Grissom followed him second later, a bit more calmer than Rick.

This change, he won't contain,
Slip away,To clear your mind,
When asked,
Who made it show (who made it show),
The truth,he gives into most.

"What is going on?" Sara had asked from the kitchen where she had been washing the breakfast dishes.

"How dare you." Grissom said seething with anger.

"Hey guys calm down." Sara said rushing out of the kitchen having no idea what had happened. She saw Jade and Grissom glaring at Rick.

"Yeah calm down Gilbert." Rick almost taunted him.

"I think it is time you leave." Grissom said moving between Jade and Rick.

"I think that is up to Sara." Rick said smiling at Grissom.

"What the hell is going on?" Sara asked confused looking between the two men.

"You friend need to leave now." Grissom said anger seething through him. Anger at everything, not just what Rick had said, or the ordeal with Sara, maybe even some from being so helpless when the gunman took him hostage. It was all right there boiling under the surface, it was going to break through and there was nothing he could do to stop the flood gates from opening once Rick said the few words.

"I think you should leave Grissom. Sara doesn't need you anymore. She wants a real man who can take care of her. Not some coward."

So lay down
The threat is real
When his sight
Goes red again
Seeing red again!

It was that incident that all hell broke loss. Grissom would admit he was the first to throw a punch. He would not admit to anyone, but the punch felt so good when his fist connected with the unsuspecting mans face. He did not even fill the pain as his knuckle tore on the mans teeth.

The punch sent Rick to the floor on his butt. He was only dazed for a few seconds, and he quickly got to his feet. Sara trying to move between her friend and her ex-husband before any more punches could be thrown. However, Sara was not prepared for Rick to forcefully push her away sending her smashing back into the table. She felt the impact of the edge of the table on her lower back, it felt like a kidney punch sucking the breath out of her because of pain.

Rick moved on Grissom, who had turned to walk away to pack his things. Grissom knew after that satisfying punch he would not be welcome in Sara's home anymore. It had been wroth it. He heard the footfalls coming after him, and he turned in enough time to see a fist flying towards him. There was nothing Grissom could do, he noticed too late and he felt Rick's knuckles connect with his bruised ribs, eliciting a cry of pain that sent him stumbling back into a small table he felt break under him. He descent ended when he smashed into the wall. Still on his feet but dazed from pain, Grissom saw the next punch coming and as quickly as he could he ducked to get out of the reach of the other mans punch watching as the man ended up swinging at nothing but air. Quickly Grissom remember all the moves he had seen boxers use back when he studied the bruises formed during boxing matches. He threw a quick punch to Rick's body, later it would scare him how good it felt to connect with flesh and bone a second time.

Rick crumbled back against the wall. The punch had knocked the breathe out of him for the moment.

Sara was now between the two men, her hand resting on Grissom's chest to keep Grissom back.

Feeling Sara's hand on his chest made Grissom stay put against the wall that was now almost holding him up. Dizziness and a painful ache in his head was overtaking him, so he kept his back to the wall. He would not push through her to finish what he started, though he really wanted to knock the man out. He was sure one more punch and all that anger, pain, and every other negative emotion would leave him. It would be enough catharsis to make him whole again. Stable on his feet again as the wave of dizziness dissipated Grissom looked at Rick and asked, "You done?"

When Rick failed to reply, Grissom took it as a yes. He was getting read to apologize to Sara who started to turn back to Rick to check on him. Sara unfortunately was not lucky, she turned right into Rick's punch.

Grissom watched as the punch, meant for him, connected with the side of Sara's face. It had been a powerful punch and sent Sara tumbling back into Grissom who caught her.

Jade rushed over, she had been standing mouth open shocked at her mentors actions. "Enough." Jade said getting between the two.

Grissom caught Sara in his arms, holding her so she would not fall to the floor that was now covered in glass from some pottery that had been on the table Grissom had destroyed when he crumbled into it previously.

Grissom asked almost in a groan as Sara added weight was placing strain on his bruised ribs "Jesus Sara are you ok?"

He kept an eye on Rick who seemed to be stuck behind Jade who had him pinned to the wall with her arm across his throat.

"What the fuck got into you Grissom?" Sara asked pissed off, moving out of Grissom's arms. "Jade let him go." Sara snapped when she saw the girl had Rick pinned to the wall.

Jade stepped back letting Rick go from the position she had pinned him in.

"Your little bitch has some strength." Rick snapped at Grissom glaring at Jade who was ready to pounce again.

"What the fuck is going on?" Sara asked again examining Rick injuries now ignoring her own pain. She was sure it would bruise later.

"Ask your fucking buddy." Grissom snapped feeling his anger raising again.

"He just lost it." Rick said.

"I think you need to leave." Sara said turning to Grissom.

Grissom turned and walked back to the guest room that held his stuff. He had been trying to leave when the slimy bastard decided to attack. Anger was seething through Grissom still, his heart was racing much too fast. You know if Sara choose to have sex with people like Rick, than maybe she deserved to be with a man like Rick.

Jade quickly followed behind seeing how Grissom limped towards the bedroom, holding his ribcage.

"You ok doc?" Jade asked noticing how Grissom's nostrils were flaring, his face was a bright red, and he appeared to be almost panting.

"I'm fine." He snapped at Jade.

"Are you sure you are fine?" She said pushing Grissom.

"I said I was fucking fine."

"Ok." Jade said raising her hands and stepping away from Grissom. She had not feared him before, but right now she felt a familiar ping of fear. Something she had not felt in a long time, not since she was a child, not since the one time it became one time too many and she had fought back.

Grissom saw the fear on the girl, it was clear in her eyes and how she stepped back. The fear he caused in her pissed him off more, he was not that man, but damn it he could not stop himself he was too wrapped up in his own anger and pain to react properly, "I'm not your fucking stepfather. I'm not going to hit you."

"I know." Jade replied surprised Grissom knew something about her past, but than he had talked with her mom when the woman had visited. "I just want to make sure you are not seriously hurt."

Everything he had surpassed was surfacing at that moment. No matter how fast you run, eventually the demon catch you, eventually you either face them or the take you. Right now Grissom was in a battle to find out what the ultimate outcome would be. Grissom said glaring at her, if he could not relieve is residual anger through beating the crap out of Rick he would use the next target. Grissom later would not remember exactly what he had said, but he knew it had hurt Jade. He had seen it in her eyes, he remembered it was something about it being none of her business, and that she was nothing more than a graduate student in a department he taught in, nothing more. That she needed to start acting that way and not like he was her father.

"I know Dr. Grissom." Jade replied as she left the room.


As soon as the situation was under control, Sara had told Rick to leave too. That they were through. She knew Grissom would not attack for no reason, there was something that sparked him. Though she would admit his suddenly turning violent was unexpected. It was something she had never thought Grissom capable of, and she was still shocked by it.

While Sara had been ordering Rick to leave too and telling him it was over, she heard the heated exchange between Grissom and Jade. She was getting ready to go into the room to break it up when Jade almost smashed into Sara in her haste to leave the room.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine." Jade snapped moving past Sara to go pack her own things.

"Grissom." Sara turned her attention to the man now walking out of her guest room. "What the is going on?"

"I'm leaving don't worry." Grissom's anger was still there, still ever present. He was throwing things into a bag with much more force than was necessary. He had almost screamed his answer at Sara.

Sara tried to remain calm, "What happened?"

" Your boyfriend is a creep." Grissom said trying to push past Sara to exit the house.

"Wait a second." Sara snapped angry that men seemed to think they could push past her. She gently pushed Grissom back to stop him from going around her and Grissom almost fell if it had not been for the wall behind him he would have fallen. Sara noted how unsteady he had been on his feet.

"Why did you punch Rick?" Sara was upset, "What the hell got into you Grissom? You don't hit people."

"Please Get out of my way."

"Why so you can run away again?"

"Move Sara." Grissom said barely containing himself he wanted to grab her and forcefully move her. Despite his anger Grissom could not, would not, touch Sara out of anger.

"No." Sara said, "I'll move when you quit being such a bastard and tell me what the fuck got into you." Sara could not help, her own anger was filtering through. After everything that had happened, everything dating back to when Grissom spurned her advances when she first got to San Francisco to the present day Grissom doing his best to knock her friend out, and no one telling her what had happened.

Grissom tried to push past her, not touching her just trying to get around her, and Sara would not let him. Again she pushed him back and Grissom ended up falling back into the wall leaning against it.

"God damn it Sara." Grissom snapped, he had to get out of the hallway before he lost control again.

"Don't you want to wait for your friend?" Sara knew better. It was wrong for her to bring Jade into it, especially after Grissom had just finished yelling at the girl.

"She can find her own way."

Jade choose that moment to walk out, lucky for the girl she had her headphones in her ears and music blaring so she never heard Grissom and Sara's fight. The accusations made by Sara or the comments made by Grissom were drowned out by the screaming voice and harsh metal. She did not give the fighting duo a second glance, she walked outside and entered the taxi that was originally meant for Grissom.

Cause I want to fight I want to fight
I want to prove I'm right
I want to fight I want to fight
So turn and forfeit
Forfeit

"Oh but she needs you Grissom. Isn't that what you were doing?" Sara snapped, "Pissed that someone else was trying to get at your toy." Sara let her anger go, Grissom wasn't the only one who lost control, "I saw how you reacted to her and Greg's greeting earlier. I saw the jealously in you. How many times had you done that to me? Stopped me from living my life."

"Yes Sara I ruined your life. You are correct. Your life was perfect before I ever entered it." Grissom snapped, "We all know just how perfect it was. And I'm sorry that you need a father figured to fuck. Too bad Brass wasn't available for you. I'm sure he'd of been better than I was. Rick's your age so how does that work? Was fucking me enough to get over your daddy issues? "

"Fuck you Grissom." Sara snapped.

"You already did." Grissom responded once again trying to get around Sara.

Grissom knew he deserved the smack and what would come later. It was the last act that ended everything on Grissom's side. He would not remember half of what he had said to Sara, but he would remember the feeling of her hand as it smacked him in the face, the power behind it sent his head whipping to the side. The taste of blood filled his mouth and it was at that moment that Grissom saw the devil he had become. It was in that moment he felt everything seep out of him, all his energy, his anger, all of his feelings. There was nothing left inside but the empty shell. He felt emptier inside than he had in the longest time. Even before Sara there was something to keep him going, but now there was nothing. He was dead inside, but still alive and walking around.

He went to move past her one more time, he had to get out of the house before he lost all power to stay standing, to keep moving. He needed to go somewhere, Grissom needed a place to curl up away from everything and everyone. He did not hear anything she was saying. He had to leave now, he could not breath, the world was spinning, he needed to escape.

"Can I please leave now?" He pleased when she moved into his way again.

The battle between the couple turned into a screaming match, but now only on one side. Each time Grissom tried to run away, Sara pushed him back not letting him leave until she had finished unleashing all of her own anger and pain on him.

"I used to look up to you. I wanted to be like you." Sara spat at him, "I am lucky I did not become you. And now I see how grateful I should be that you left me. Catherine was right about me being better off without you. You are nothing."

"I know." Grissom said softly trying to walk past Sara again, he needed to leave now.

Sara would barely remember losing it, but seeing Grissom willing to walk out on everything, to not even fight for himself pissed her off. The first hit connected solidly to Grissom's chin, he grunted in pain. "You son of a bitch." Sara screamed trying to hit him again, but Grissom was ready and grabbed her arms to stop her from hitting him again. He held tightly onto her wrist letting her scream at him until she was spent.

When she stopped yelling finally he asked, "Are you done?"

Sara cried in return, she saw the tears running down Grissom's face. There were much more tears on his face, as if he had been crying longer. Funny, in her anger she never noticed his emotional response, just his trying to push past her. Grissom let her arms go when it seemed like she would not attack him again. He picked up his bag and walked past her cautious incase she choose to attack again. No words were spoken, and Sara felt her world crash around her when she heard the door close softly.

Sara was spent, she felt numb now. So much for having a heart to heart with Grissom. Well more like a lung to lung, who could scream the longest until their lungs and throat refused them the ability to scream anymore. Looks like she had won that battle, but she did not feel like she won, and she doubted Grissom felt anything like winning either. God she had pushed him, smacked him, and finally punched him in anger. She could not believe her own actions, but he had just pissed her off so much. He had pushed her buttons and he kept trying to run away from her when she had so much she had to day.

Moving out to the living room ignoring the mess that was her hallway she slumped onto the couch. God her face hurt and her lower back. She should probably get ice for it, but she was too tired to move. The tears streaming down her face had been a surprise. She had seen a side of Grissom she did not even knew he had. The tin man lost control today, and she matched his lack of control with her own.

Was there anything left to save of them? She wondered if it was better to let it end. They said what they needed to say, or had she. No she said what she needed to say in anger, and she honesty could not remember what Grissom had said that pissed her off so much. She had not been listening to him. The story of their relationship. Talking without communicating. Neither of them willing to listen to the other.

She did not know how much time had passed since she sat on the couch and found herself crying. The only thing that removed her from her stupor was a knock on the door. Looking at the door she wondered if she had energy to answer the door. She noticed her hand hurt, and there was a bruise around her wrist, had she punched Grissom, god she did. What got into her, that was not Sara Sidle, she did not hit people. But neither did Gilbert Grissom and he had today.

She saw Brass through the peep hole, she wanted to tell him to go away, but she knew he would persist. Opening the door she saw the shock on his face.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

He glared at her, "Your face tells a different story. Where is Grissom?"

"Not here." Sara answered. She did not expect Jim to leave so fast, but he turned on his heels and stormed out of the house. Sara tried to follow after him, she tried to explain that Grissom had not hurt her, but Jim was not hearing it.


Grissom had walked until he could not walk anymore. He stopped and sat down on the curb, he called himself another cab. While he waited for the cab he tried to call Jade, he owed her an apology. Well she was the first person he owed an apology too. Sara could wait until they both had cooled off, and than he would try to apologize to her for everything. Not that he expected his apologies to make up for anything he had done.

Sitting on the curb listening to the phone ring, and than Jades voicemail. "Jade it's me. I'm sorry. I was upset, not at you. I should not have taken out on you. Please call me when you get this. I truly am sorry." He wanted to add so much more, that he did care for her, that he she was probably the closest thing he would ever have to a daughter.

Hanging the phone up he realized his jaw hurt. Sara had hit him hard, he had not expected that. He did not blame her, he deserved that and much more.

When the cab finally showed up the cabbie asked him where too, and had even suggested the hospital. Grissom was confused by the hospital suggestion. He gave the cabbie a destination sitting back in his seat looking out the window wishing that he could find a hole to go hide in for awhile.


"Hey." A gentle voiced said sitting down on the bench next to her.

Jade looked up to see Greg. She quickly wiped the tears away from her face. "Hey yourself."

"Thanks for calling me." Greg said not knowing what had occurred at Sara's.

"Thanks for coming to get me." Jade said softly. She did not have enough money for a plane ticket and her current ticket could not be changed at the moment. She was stuck in Vegas until at least the end of the week. She contemplated calling Jamie to see if he would loan her the money, but she thought better of it. There was no one else except Greg.

"You ok?" Greg asked putting an arm around Jade. He couldn't help it, she looked hurt. She was not the bubbly girl he had gotten used to seeing.

"Yes."

"Liar." Greg said smiling at her. "Come on let's go to my place. I have pizza."

"Well since you have pizza." She half joked allowing a small smile to reach her face, but never quite her eyes. It was her way of dealing, to not being so vulnerable in front of anyone. Humor was a good shield when all of your others were not working.

"You going to answer that?" Greg asked when her phone started to ring.

"No." Jade said, "I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Ok." Greg said not sure who him was, but he had a good idea that it was probably Grissom.

"Are you sure it's ok that I stay with you for the week?"

"Of course." Greg said, " You promised to get me a CD of that band. I can't have you leave Vegas without it." Greg smiled, "Plus we still have not got a chance to go to the wax museum you have to see it." He continued excited enough for the both of them, "And then there is…" Greg carried most of the conversation as he drove the two back to his apartment.


Grissom found himself at Heathers house. He was not even sure if she still lived there. He hoped she had, he was dead on his feet, and he was not sure how much longer he could drag himself around. He would be persona non grata at anyone else's house once they found out what had happened at Sara's today. Going to his mothers was not an option because he could not face her right now, and he could not bring himself to go to a hotel. No he needed someone to tell him he was not losing his mind, though he was pretty sure he had already. Someone who would not judge him, would let him be, but would let him just be numb.

Heather (formerly Lady Heather) opened the door and found herself shocked to see Grissom at the door. He looked even more forlorn than the last time she had opened her door to find him shivering outside. "Come in." She said letting Grissom inside.

Once inside she led him to the living room and had him sit on the couch. "Grissom are you hurt?" Heather asked seeing blood on his shirt.

Blinking sleep away he answered, "I'm fine."

"ok." She answered "I'm going to go make tea." She left him to his own thoughts.

"I heard about your incident." She said returning to the room noticing how he jumped when she walked in. He had been surprised that she returned, meaning he had been in his own thoughts and hand not heard her returning footsteps.

He looked at her confused, how did she know about the fight at Sara's already? Grissom did not know what to say so he just sat there letting the numbness come over him.

"At the university." Heather said seeing the confusion on Grissom's face. "Drink some tea." Heather said handing him a cup of the warm tea.

"Thank you."

"You have changed again." Heather said studying him.

"I know." Grissom answered softly sipping the tea.

"You look exhausted."

"I am."

Heather was surprised by his frankness. It had taken all night and most of the day to get him to open up this time. Now a open wound of a man sat before her and she could see all of his vulnerabilities on the surface. She had seen them before, but never on the surface.

"I lost control". Grissom said bringing his hand up to his head rubbing his eyes. The migraine was starting to intensify to a point he could not ignore the pain. He had gotten used to the steady headache that had been his concussion. He winced when he moved again, his ribs hurt. Arms moving down he hugged himself and started to rock gently against the pain.

"What happened?" Heather asked now worried seeing the damage to Grissom's hand. She also noticed he had a nice bruise, a new nice bruise, forming on his chin.

"I lost control." Grissom said again.

"Grissom what happened?" Heather said moving onto the couch next to Grissom taking his hands in her own. She was about ready to reach up and turn his face when he did it for her.

"I got in a fight with Sara's boyfriend." Grissom said.

"Is that all?" Heather said feeling less worried. "Is that how you hurt your hand?"

Grissom looked down noticing it, no wonder the cabby was cautious in taking the money he had thrust the cash at him. Blood had tried on his knuckles. "Yes."

"Did he hit you?" Heather asked.

"I think he hit me in the ribs." Grissom answered.

"May I look?"

Grissom shook his head.

Heather gently lifted his shirt and looked at the at least a day old bruises on his side and what looked like a new bruise. She gently touched it noticing how he sucked his breath in when her cold hands came into contact with the bruised flesh. "I don't think they are broken."

"What happened to your face?"

"Had a fight with Sara." Grissom said, "I didn't..." He stumbled over his words, "I swear I didn't hit he."

"I believe you Grissom." Heather said, she certain of one thing Gilbert Grissom would never have physically hurt Sara or any woman. "Did Sara hit you?"

"She has a good right hook." He said his hand touching his chin.

"Your head is bleeding." She indicated to the blood on the collar of his shirt.

"I am sure it's just a torn stitch."

"May I look?" She asked knowing she'd have to remove the gauze that now had blood on it.

He lowered his head for her, it hurt his head to move.

Heather was gentle with him, she pulled the fresh gauze back and checked. "You should go to the hospital."

"I'm fine." Grissom said. He had been dizzy earlier, but he was pretty sure that was the concussion making itself known. High blood pressure plus a concussion did not go well together.

"It stopped bleeding already." She said feeling a bit more relieved, "I still think you should let a doctor check you out."

"I'm fine." Grissom said, "I just want to…"

"What?"

"I don't know…" He sighed, "sleep. But I don't think I will."

"Come on." She said, "You can lay in my guest room."

Heather got Grissom up the steps and had him lay down on the bed. "Take your shirt off. I'll wash it" She said walking out of the room to grab her first aid kit.

When she returned Grissom was laying on the bed, hugging a pillow to himself. "Gil can you please sit up so I can put fresh gauze over your wound?"

Grissom moved slowly, dragging his body to a sitting position too more energy than he had, but he somehow managed with the help of Heather. She was quick and gentle, and helped him lay back down as soon as she was done.

Heather returned later with ice packs for him. She placed one pack on his ribs, she heard him suck a breath in at the cold. "Put hand out flat." She said setting the next ice pack on his arm. She gently pressed the last one onto his chin. "Do you want one of my sleeping pills?"

"No." Grissom said, he wanted to fill every last bit of pain he could feel right now, which included an agonizing migraine.

Grissom had learned many things from Jade, but one of them was how to upload music to his iPhone. She had helped him many of times making playlist just for him. He put his iPhone on the doc that would charge it and play music softly through the speakers of the CD/iPod player combo that sat on the nightstand. He choose one of Jades playlist and closed his eyes hoping for sleep to come.

"Try to rest. I will be downstairs if you need anything." She said turning the lights down and shutting the door when she did not receive any objection at her leaving. Once downstairs she thought about calling someone to tell them Grissom was at her house. Sara? Probably not a good idea if the woman had punched Grissom. The detective, Jim Brass? Maybe. Right now she decided just to let Grissom rest. He could tell her if he wished anyone to know where he was at when he woke later. She was in the middle of reading case notes from the last couple she had counseled when she heard the soft music coming from the upstairs guest room.

I'm so alone,
and I feel just like someone else
Man, I ain't changed
but I know I ain't the same

Grissom eventually drifted into unconsciousness. He had not heard Heather check on him. He barley stirred when Heather ran a damp cloth across his forehead wiping up sweat from his brow and blood from his neck. When midnight approached, Heather debated if she wanted to sleep in her own room, or if she should stay with Grissom to keep an eye on him. She decided it best to stay in the room with Grissom. She pulled one of the comfortable chairs away from the chessboard table and sat down. She propped her feet on the bed and let herself drift off to sleep.

Grissom had managed to sleep through the night, not stirring once. When Heather awoke in the morning she was worried by his deep slumber. She had expected him to wake at some point hungry. She walked over to him, and gently touched him. He felt warm, but not feverish.

"Gilbert." She said softly at first trying to shake him awake. It worried her he did not stir or make a noise as she tried to wake him. With a little bit more force she shook him gently to wake him.

Grissom's eyes open finally only a bit, the sun shining in hurt his eyes and his head.

"Hello." Heater said feeling relief when her dear friend woke up. "I was worried you slept so soundly."

Grissom looked up at her trying to understand how he ended up in her guest room. He sat up slowly grabbing his rib cage as he moved.

"You hungry?"

"No." Grissom said feeling exhausted still. He just wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep was safe, it was nice, no emotions when he slept. He was not even sure if he had dreamed at all, not last night. He was just so tired emotionally and physically. Sleep would bring relief.

"How are you today?"

"Tired." He answered, his head still hurt. He looked over to his phone and saw he had no calls. No one had his number, except Jade. Where did the girl go? He was worried about her.

"How about you drink a cup of orange juice and eat some toast, than I'll let you go back to sleep?" Heather asked worried about her friend. Despite having slept he still looked exhausted and broken, maybe beaten was a better world.

"Ok." Grissom said not having the will to fight her.

"Rest. I'll be back." She said letting him lay back down while she went to go make breakfast for them both.

Heather understood why Grissom had sought her out. Many would not understand why Grissom was comfortable around a woman like her. It was simple, at this moment in time he was vulnerable. His vulnerability scared him, and he knew it opened him to unwanted emotions. He could not maintain his defenses against others. However, with Heather, he was always vulnerable because she could read him so easily. She knew what he was thinking and feeling just by looking at him. The walls and defenses that were Grissom meant nothing to Heather who had spent a life studying people and learning to understand the cues they tried to hide.

She was in the middle of checking her blood sugar when the doorbell rang. "I'll be there in a minute." She called out wondering who was at the door, she had cancelled all of her appointments for the day. Grissom would likely be an all day project, not that she minded, her friend needed her.

Finally getting to the door she saw Capitan Jim Brass outside looking angry. She opened the door but blocked him from coming inside.

"Is he here?" Brass asked anger churning inside.

"Who is he?"

"Grissom."

"Gil is sleeping." Heather replied not moving to let the man in his house.

"I need to speak with him." Jim said waiting for Heather to move out of his way.

Grissom heard Jim's voice and got out of bed. Slowly he made his way downstairs, unsteady on his own feet. His legs seemed to weak to carry himself. Movement seemed to be something that took energy he simply did not have. He reached the bottom of steps when Jim saw him.

"You hit her you bastard."

Grissom looked confused at Jim. He did not hit Sara. "I didn't." Grissom responded his voice rough from having a dry throat, there was no emotion left in him.

"Than how did she get the bruise?" Jim asked trying to get past Heather who would not let him in he house.

"Capitan Brass if you wish to talk to Gil you will need to come back with a warrant or a more formal reason."

"How about assault?" Brass asked, "I can arrest him for that."

"You would also have to arrest Sara than." Heather calmly stated, "You could question him, but right now you have no evidence Gil did anything." Heather said. "If you want to question him I would be more than happy to drive him to the station."

"I'll come back later after I get Sara to give me a statement." Brass said glaring past Heather at Grissom.

Gil did not think about it when he raised his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, hoping the headache would dull a bit and his eyes would stop hurting. It was when Jim saw the damage to his former friends hand that Jim lost it. He pushed past Heather, slamming the woman into the door.

Gil heard Heathers grunt as she slammed into the door, but did nothing to stop Jim when he grabbed Grissom around the throat and slammed Grissom into the wall. "You son of a bitch."

"Jim I swear I did not hit Sara." Grissom panted, luckily only his back had hit the wall thankfully saving his battered head any pain. But it still hurt when his battered back smashed into the wall, "I hurt her, but I didn't hit her."

Grissom did not fight Jim's grip around his throat. It was not tight enough to cut off oxygen.

"You have no reason to arrest him." Heather said moving forward trying to get the officer to let go of Grissom who was offering no resistance.

"I have supporting evidence he had been in a fight recently." Brass said his anger blinding him. He flipped Grissom around again pushing the CSI into the wall.

Lowering his head Grissom was ready to let Jim do whatever he wanted. Grissom did not fight as the cuffs were tightly put on his wrist.

"I need to sit down." Grissom said softly he was pale.

"Shut up." Brass snapped flipping Grissom around once the coughs were tightly secured to the former CSI's wrists.

Being flipped around did not help Grissom who was doing his best to fight of a wave of dizziness. Grissom had tried to ward Brass but as soon as his mouth opened to speak words of warning all that came out was vomit.

Brass tried to jump back he was still covered by Grissom's stomach contents. "Son of a bitch." Brass snapped trying not to gag himself.

"Captain Brass." Heather said moving forward to step between the two men, she gently moved Gil. She kept a tight hold of him as she had him sit down on the steps, the nearest spot for the ill man to sit down. She kept speaking to Brass, "You saw his hands, I am guessing from what Gil told me Sara only has a bruise on her face right?"

Brass just looked at Heather.

She took it that he was at least listening to her, "You and I both know the damage on his hand does not match the damage Sara received." Heather looked down at Grissom who just looked tired, his eyes were closed and he made no attempt to move. He was leaning against the wall, resting his head right under the railing. If it were not for the occasional flinch she would have assumed Grissom had fallen asleep.

"Now please he was your friend once." Heather said remembering the night Captain Brass had shown up to her door, warning her to be careful will Grissom. Grissom was only interested in her because she was different, he was intrigued. Nothing more, so she should keep her grimy hands off his friend.

Brass looked at the man on his steps, his friend by default. He had known Grissom for too many years. "Who hit Sara if you didn't?" Jim asked towering over Grissom.

"It was an accident." Grissom said not looking up or opening his eyes from his current position on the steps. The wall stopped the world from spinning, and his eyes closed made him feel less vulnerable, "Her friend Rick and I were fighting, and he went to hit me, but got Sara instead. I never hit her."

"What about the bruises on her arm?"

"She has a strong right hook." Grissom said wising he could rub his jaw that hurt, "I grabbed her arms. I didn't mean to grab her so hard. I was having trouble staying on my feet and she was trying to pull free to hit me again."

Brass stared down at Grissom, the bruises on Sara's arms were enough to take Grissom in, but if he was telling the truth Sara would also likely be arrested too if Grissom gave the same story. "Why were you unsteady on your feet?"

"My head hit the wall" Grissom paused sucking in a breath trying to fight off a wave of nauseous, "Once when Rick hit me, and a couple of times when Sara pushed me so I couldn't leave."

"I can confirm that Gil's injury to his head was agitated. He had blood on his shirt the gauze covering it was bloody." Heather said looking at Brass waiting to see what the police officer choose to do. She felt more worry for her friend, she had not known he was unsteady on his feet. He had not said anything to her, he only mentioned hitting his head once.

"Come on stand up." Brass said grabbing gently onto Grissom's arms to pull him up. Turning Grissom gently he unlocked the cuffs from the former CSI's hands. "I still should take you outside and kick your ass."

Gil went to move outside he did not care what happened to him. He probably did deserve another ass kicking. At this point he no longer seemed to care what happened to him.

"Gil please go back up stairs and rest." Heather said grabbing him and stopping him from walking outside.

Grissom listened to her, he turned around and walked back up the steps. Each step felt like he was climbing a mountain but he made it.

"It is time for you to leave Captain Brass." Heather said.

Brass watched his friend and he saw a defeated man. "Has he been like this since he got here?"

"Yes." Heather said.

"Is he ok?"

"I don't think so."

"Does he need to go to a hospital?"

"I don't think so."

"Can you fix it?" Brass asked.

"I don't know."

"Are you going to try?"

"I am." She said surprised that the officer suddenly seemed to care about Grissom. "If that is all I am going to call an old friend, a doctor, to look over Gil to make sure he is ok."

"Watch out for him. He needs a friend now."

"I know." She said in a voice that had made Jim feel like a piece of crap for not being there for his friend. For assuming the worse just because he was angry at Grissom over how things had ended. No one had been particularly warming in their welcome. Could not blame the guy for not wanting to let them know he was in town given how things have gone down.


After taking a sleeping pill Sara slept the night through. She had received a text earlier from Greg asking her if she was ok. She had responded yes. Than Greg informed her he had Jade at his apartment, asking if she could let Grissom know since Jade refused to speak with the supervisor who had called four times before giving up. Sara told Greg she couldn't because she did not have Gil's number.

Now awake Sara moved through her house, first stopping off at the bathroom, and than walking out into the hallway that still held the mess from the fight that had occurred the day before. As she walked down the hallway she saw the bloodspot on the wall and her hand raised to her mouth. It was where Grissom had been standing when she kept pushing him back so he could not get past her. Had she done that to him? God was he ok? If his head was bleeding again, his concussion was it worse?

There was a knock on the door and Sara rushed to answer it hoping it was Grissom, knowing it was unlikely not him.

"Hello." Rick said looking down at his feet.

"Go away."

"Is your psycho ex here?" Rick asked thinking Sara still held compassion for him.

"Grissom is not here." Sara said, "But you need to go. We are through Rick."

"Why? Because of what happened? I meant to hit him not you."

"That did not even factor into it." Sara asked looking at him.

"Whatever they said was a lie." Rick said.

"No one has told me what happened." Sara said. "But we are done. We never should have been." Sara admitted to herself, she had been open to anything, trying to get back into the dating game. Rick had been an easy start, he did not seem to care about when they meant up or what they did.

"Fine with me. Wasn't like the sex was all that great."

"You are a sick pig. Leave now before I call the cops." Sara said.

"No need they are here already." Brass said from behind the two. "You heard her get out of here." Brass said glaring at Rick.

"Or what?"

"Well I could arrest you for assault?"

"On who?"

"Sara. I am sure I could make some other charges up."

"I didn't mean to hit Sara." Rick ask incredulous, "It would never stick."

"Oh you are right. It would not hold up in court, but being a reporter well I am sure it will work fine in the court of public opinion. You know that is always much more damaging than actual legal court."

"Thanks Jim." Sara said feeling relieved that Rick was gone and it was over. She would not have to deal with the man ever again, or so she hoped. "You heard Rick admit to hitting me it was Griss."

"I know I already talk to Gil." Brass said frowning at the memory of having to drive home covered in Grissom's vomit.

"You didn't hurt him did you?"

"No." Brass said, "I almost arrested him tough."

"Is he ok?" Sara asked not mentioning the blood on her wall.

"No." Brass said seeing the fear in Sara's eyes. "Physically most likely. Mentally he looks defeated."

"I hurt him." Sara said, "I don't know what came over me. I was just angry at him."

"He can be infuriating."

"Yes but I hit him Brass. More than once." Sara said looking at the older man. "I hit him and I meant to hurt him. To make him feel something. He just looked at me like nothing mattered."

"It's ok Sara." Brass said knowing it wasn't ok, but he was not going to make either party feel any worse than they already did. Brass had been surprised to hear Sara had gotten physical with Grissom. It just was not in her nature, but it wasn't in Grissom's nature either to fight and he clearly had fought with the man who just left the house.

"Where is he?" Sara asked.

"Lady Heathers." Brass said, "He has been there since sometime yesterday. She is watching over him."

"Of course." Sara said stopping herself from rolling her eyes. He always ran to Lady Heathers, what was it about that woman that attracted Gil.

Leading Jim into the kitchen to make coffee for the both of them. Sara could not help but stare at the unfinished breakfast dishes. One of them Grissom had just eaten off of the day before, "It's over."

Jim did not know what to say to Sara statement.

"We really are done." Sara said feeling a catch in her chest. A hole that she thought she had already repaired was ripped open again. Grissom was no longer hers. It was over.

"He needs friends right now." Brass said. "None of us have really done a good job at that. I am probably the worst. I never tried to contact him after he left. I was content hearing news from you about him. When you guys divorced, well I was angry with him. It was wrong the way he ended everything. I wanted to punch him."

"I did too."

"You did punch him." Jim said with a small smile, "He said you had a good right hook. I knew I taught you something."

"Keep dreaming. I knew how to hit way before I ever meant you." Sara said, "Is he really physically ok?"

"Yes. I spoke with him and physically he is bruised but he'll survive." Jim paused, "He vomited on me. But I spoke with Heather on the phone a few minutes ago. She had a doctor come look him over just to be safe. The doctor believed it was because of a migraine and not the concussion."

Brass and Sara were both sitting quietly in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Jim was the first to speak again, "It may not be over."

"No it's over." Sara said.

"He still cares about you." Brass said, "And he may not deserve you, but he needs you."

"Jim I think I need him too." Sara said, "I have felt lost since he left. I do not think I could love anyone as much as I do him. He infuriates me to the point of losing myself, but I love him."

"You should go talk to him."

"Do you think he'd talk to me?"

"He did not do a lot of talking." Jim said.

"I know." Sara frowned looking down the hallway, she had been the one to scream the most at the end. What she yelled she did not remember.

"Go talk to him." Jim said, "If you want I'll drive you."

"I can drive myself." Sara said. "Do you think Heather will let me in?"

"You can convince her if she won't."

"I don't know Jim. All we do is scream at each other anymore. We have not had a real conversation in years."

"That Lady Heather is a couples therapist now."

Sara shook her head, it was funny but she could not laugh. "I'm going to go see him."


A/N 2:

The music:

1. The Red by Chevelle (first section and main motivation for chapter)

2. Forfeit by Chevelle

3. One headlight by the Wallflowers = had to include it I heard the song for the first time in a long time. Heard the song a ton of times, but those lines jumped out at me for the first time and it just blew me away.