Hello again... in case you don't read my other stories. I'd like to say sorry it took me so long to update, life's happenings kept me from it. If you do read my other stories, you will hear tons of apologizing because I DO actually feel bad for holding out on you so long. Anyways, I hope you liking the story makes up for it and PLEASE review. Your thoughts mean the world to me :)
Enough with me keeping you from reading, so enjoy!
Chapter 7
Buffy could tell he'd pull back from her. The moment she mentioned she was going to have to leave, she'd seen it in his eyes that he just closed himself out. She felt a twinge of pain at that… she'd seen that emotionally closed out look the night they'd met. It had been the reason she had felt the need to approach him and try to make him feel better.
It was odd the way she felt a pull to him and how much she could tell that his emotions affected her. Being able to read him was odd enough; one did not get this kind of comfortable with someone unless they'd known the person for years.
They were now sitting at a restaurant having lunch and there seemed to be an uncomfortable silence lingering between them.
Booth noticed that he'd barely touched his food and he wasn't being the best of company right now. He looked up to glance at her and he couldn't make the words come out… he wanted so much to ask her if she'd be coming back. But… he sighed; he was well aware of the fact that they hadn't known each other for that long, even though it felt otherwise, he sensed it wasn't his right to ask that kind of a thing.
"Booth…?" Buffy asked breaking the silence "is everything okay?"
He looked up at the sound of her voice; a saddened glimmer in his eyes before his gaze went blank, "Um… yeah… just thinking about work and stuff. I'm sorry… I think I'm a little out of it…"
She smirked, she could tell he was lying, "Do you… want to talk about it?"
The look in his eyes told her yes, but what came out of his mouth was, "No… it's not a big deal…"
She nodded, "Okay…" it's not like she was going to pry.
A moment later, they were somewhat done eating and they both reached for the bill… she smiled playfully at him and he couldn't help but smile in return. It's like she knew that he enjoyed the check dance, they were both aware that he was going to be the one to pay but the fact that they pretended to ignore that knowledge made it immaturely cute and somehow quickly lightened the mood.
They stepped out of the restaurant and began to walk towards his truck. She didn't like the feel of distance he'd put between them and at an attempt to change that… she reached for his hand. She entwined her fingers in his in such a loving way that he stopped to look at her…
Booth's auburn colored eyes conveyed such a strong emotion that all she could do was gaze at him. She was sure that his stare portrayed what she was feeling inside… it was passion, vulnerability, and fear…
At a loss for words… she closed the distance between them and pulled him down for a heart melting, core shaking, and full of fervor kind of a kiss. His response was immediate and strangely desperate, as if he was trying to hold on to her with his lips. His tongue swept in possessively in her mouth as she allowed herself to be taken into the sensation he was giving her.
She grazed her nails at the nape of his neck dotingly… effectively igniting the fire that seemed to seep between them anytime they touched. They pulled back panting for air as they admired each others swollen lips… he pressed his forehead against hers and whispered…
"Do you really have to leave…?" the vulnerability in his eyes wanted to make her say no, but she knew she couldn't.
Her distress and silence gave him the answer.
He sighed pulling back… "I'm sorry that wasn't for me to ask and …"
She pulled him back towards her for a chaste lingering kiss then looked up into his eyes, "I wish I didn't have to go… but I can… come back" she said hopeful… "If you want me to…"
They were both going into major serious relationship territory, wherever this conversation ended up would probably tell them where they stood.
"I…" he paused, "I can't ask you to do that for me Buffy…"
"You're not asking Booth, but… if what's happening between us feels the same for both of us then I want there to be an… us…" she said, and there it was. Buffy had opened up her heart to a man that she knew was conflicted and his answer she knew was going to have the power to make her the happiest woman alive or destroy her emotionally for the rest of her life.
He pulled her to him hugging her for what felt like forever. Usually having the feel of his body up against her made her feel loved and cherished, but this hug felt a lot like those that one gave when saying goodbye. She felt the sting of tears began to form in her eyes, but she tried to pull herself together as he started to pull back.
Booth's heart ached about what he was about to say, but he needed to think of her first and figure out exactly what he felt. He knew it just wasn't normal to feel this much for a woman he hardly knew, and because she mattered that much. He owed it to her to be honest…
"Buffy…" he breathed soothingly, "You know… I just got out of what I thought was a serious relationship. Don't get me wrong… I really like you, more than like you actually, but I don't think it's a good idea to jump into another serious relationship with me… for your sake. The last thing I want to do is hurt you the way I've been hurt."
Buffy's eyes filled with unshed tears and he drew near to try and comfort her, but she raised her hand to stop him. Her disappointed expression with the fact that she stopped him made him upset with himself. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid.
"I understand…" was all she could let out. She noticed a cab coming down the road and she walked to the edge of the street, raising her hand in request.
"Buffy what are you doing… I can take you to the hotel…" he said as he reached for her arm.
She pulled herself away from him, "No… thank you." She said politely, "I want to be alone…"
"But… this is not what I meant. I want us to see each other… date, even if it's long distance. I just don't want you to change your whole life for me…" he urgently pled for her to understand.
The cab pulled up and she reached for the door but Booth stopped it from opening, "Please don't leave like this, I'm trying to explain what I think it's best for you…"
She looked up defiantly into his eyes and he could have sworn he felt her rage burn him, "You can't know what's best for me and I already told you I understood. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself…" she said pulling the car door open.
"Buffy please…" he began.
She turned around to face him and said, "and long distance never works. Thank you for your company, Agent Booth. Good-Bye…"
She closed the door and the cab took off. Booth felt a tightening in his chest; it was making him feel like he couldn't breath. He shook his head, all he had to do was say 'yes, please come back' but no… The one time he decided to really think about somebody else's feelings other than his own… this happens.
He'd let the one woman that struck him to the very depths of his soul, go…
/
Buffy got home and quickly began packing, the faster she got out of here the better. She'd known from the very beginning that falling for him would be a mistake because of what he had gone through. Yet… you can't tell your heart what to want and unfortunately for her, it wanted him.
Well fine… she pushed all thoughts of him aside and pulled her laptop to focus on tomorrow's meeting. Better to drown herself in work than to continue to analyze how she had not seen the most obvious response coming.
/
Booth sped through the streets as his boss had called him on a case. He'd wanted to not go back to work yet, but he'd been adamant that he was the only one for the job. He was going to have to see their group of friends and Bones, which he didn't want to do yet.
He pulled up to a parking garage and got out flashing his badge…
"Agent Booth…" one of the officers approached him and began explaining the situation. The lot of it was a car had combusted and they needed to know what had happened while also verifying that it wasn't a senator's daughter.
As he move toward the crime scene, he spotted Bones and one of her squints photographing and scanning the area, getting to work.
Bones looked up at him surprised, "Booth… what are you… I thought you were…"
"Big boss requested my presence…" he answered.
"Oh!" she nodded. She could tell he wasn't in a chatty mood, so she continued to do her assessment to retrieve the remains.
They both fell back in to what felt like their normal routine, except Brennan could tell there was something off about him. He seemed distant and in his own little world, which was not like him at all.
Today, she thought determined, is going to be the day that she will have the talk with him. Whatever else happened between them, working as partners or not, she was going to tell him how she felt about him once and for all.
