So… this chapter will be short. And I guess all my other to be posted fics will be short. Anyway, I apologize for the errors already, I'll be writing without proofreading, because I absolutely have no time and just really want to update. So, sorry again. Well, hope you guys like this. Short but sweet. What if Joey went to college. (Note, Chandler and Monica still live in their apartment.)
Chandler and Monica's home
"Joey, would you please stop hanging out here and stealing our food?" Chandler said. He then started to get something from his wallet. "If you want money, I'll give you money," he said then presented him a hundred dollars.
Joey eyed him seriously.
"Here, treat yourself. Or better yet… go to college," Chandler said and put the money into his hands.
But Joey didn't like his action at all. He threw the money to the ground. "No, Chandler. You're my buddy. I'm not here to steal your food. I'm here to hang out with you."
Chandler went along with Joey's obvious act. "Fine… okay, let's hangout. Though, would you like…" He stopped to get some more money from his wallet. "How's about 200 more bucks? Besides, Monica's waiting at the bedroom. She's already ovulating."
Joey took the money from Chandler's hand and the one on the ground immediately. "Great, okay, I'll go. Have fun," he said then walked out of the room.
Somewhere at New York Streets
Joey was walking around, thinking of using his 300 bucks for a buffet or something that has something to do with food. But he stopped as he saw some college guys pass by. They looked as if they were scholars.
"I cannot believe that theory of enthalpy," one of them started.
"Enthalpy isn't a theory? It's actually proven. The endothermic and exothermic reactions are true. There is heat either absorbed or released in the reactants and products," another said.
"Then what about in the reactions where heat isn't present? How do you explain that? You do know that there is such."
"Uh…"
Suddenly, they saw Joey staring into their conversation with a blank expression. One of them, the one who asked the question, the one with the weird moustache and the very thick eyeglasses decided to initiate a conversation.
"Good day to you, my dear sir. You fancy to utter something to us two? Your insight about our very elementary matter, perhaps? "
Joey felt dumbstruck. What did he just say?
"I believe he doesn't comprehend, George. Let's put it in simple terminologies. Do-you-want-something-to-say-to-us?" the other said, totally slowing down on the last sentence which was addressed to Joey, as if patronizing him completely.
Joey finally understood something from these two condescending men. "Ahh! Actually, I don't really have something to say. I was just too… what's the word? 'Englossed' in your conversation. Sounds really important," he said with a smart-look smile.
"Eh, what is 'englossed'? I think you mean 'engrossed'."
"That's what I said!"
"Don't bother with him. We have to get to the mausoleum already. We need to see that professor," the weird mustached guy asked, tugging the other man.
The man just nodded and they left Joey as if a stray dog, not wanted. Of course, Joey felt sad.
"Look down on me, will they? Okay, I'll become smarter! I'll understand them! I'll show them!"
Out of the blue, a poor man announced 'Who wants to get their college degree with only 300 dollars? Then come here!'. This of course caught Joey's attention and he went to the guy to enroll.
"300 dollars? That's what I have! Sure, I want a college degree! Sign me in!"
And Joey went to college, learning from the poor man. Though some may see it as a rip off, he really did learn a lot, in different areas of expertise actually. And in a few months, specifically six, he was ready to show off what he's got. He started it with his friends.
"Good day to you my dear associates," he started as he entered Chandler and Monica's house.
Everybody just eyed him weirdly.
"Associates, Joe?" Monica dare asked.
"Yes, associates. Anyway, what are we having in this fine eventful evening? And what will we be examining from this box or tube if you may prefer it, filled with wires, and all other sorts of mechanisms," Joey swanked.
"Have you eaten something weird Joe? Cat's poop, perhaps?" Rachel asked.
"You make me cackle, my dear, dear Rachel. No, no, I haven't eating anything quite odd. I just went to college."
"College?" they all said together.
Joey nodded.
"But you were normal just yesterday," Phoebe started. "Well, not really normal, since you were never normal to begin with. But you were normally… you."
Joey neared Phoebe. "Ah, but you don't discern that I've been going to college for 6 months already. I've even graduated already."
They all raised a brow. This was of course unbelievable. "What's your course, Joe? And where's your diploma?" Ross asked.
"Ah! Wait," Joey said then took something from his pocket. "Here's the diploma." He handed it to Ross. "I finished different courses. In medicine, law, engineering, cooking, name it, I know it!"
Ross shook his head after reading the paper. The others wanted to see it as well and they read it too. "Joey, that isn't a real diploma. It has a forged signature. Where did you learn that where you studied was a college anyway?"
"From an old man just by at Baker Street."
"Joey, we hate to break it to you, but Ross is right." Monica said, putting her hand on Joey's shoulder to comfort him.
"How much did you spend anyway?" Chandler asked.
Joey frowned. "The three hundred bucks you gave me. Aw! I was deceived! I only sought to astonish those college kids that I'm as smart as them! They patronized me before and I abhor that feeling!"
"But, it seems like you've learned a lot," Rachel said smiling from the very nice words Joey mouthed out.
Joey's mood immediately changed. "You mean it, Rach?"
"I mean it. But you don't need to be smart Joey. Be yourself. Do you like this, boasting what you know? You may feel good at first, but don't you think you're faking yourself?" Monica asked.
Joey stopped to think. What Monica said is right. "Yeah, I don't really like being smart. I have to think of the perfect hardest word to sound smart. I just really want to eat. But before I do it… I have to say… 'Can we now devour some of that aromatic, enormous turkey of yours?'"
"Joey, we all love you, either you're smart or not. Come here," Phoebe said, initiating the hug.
"Okay," he said and hugged her. Everybody else joined the hug as well, forming a group hug.
It was a very low plot, but I told you I'll keep it short. I don't really have much will to finish this, but I do want to finish this. Do you guys want the next chapter to be the last or do you guys want more chapters? If you want more chapters… suggest me something. Next chapter, I want it to be a Mondler. If they were caught differently. Any suggestions? Though if you have other ideas, I'm open for them. Anyway, please R&R!
