A/N: A big thank you to all who continue to read and review. :)
Chapter 7: The move
"What were you thinking coming there?" Snape demanded when they reached her room. "He expressly forbid you not to"
Sarah shrugged, indifferently.
"Not good enough" Snape glared at her, "Tell me what you were thinking"
She still remained silent, her face hardened.
"Sarah" Snape pressed, his voice firm, "you need to talk about this"
"I don't want to talk about it" She retorted, "Do not push me" she held up her hand at him.
"And you don't push me away" Snape's tone gentled as he switched tactics. "I can help you only if you confide in me. And regardless of what you think, you need to talk through this. Because I gaurentee that he won't be so understanding if you refuse to talk to him about this…and it will be a topic of conversation…that you can be certain of"
She knew he was right. She had expressly ignored the Dark Lord's orders to stay away and that was never good. She sunk down onto the couch. "I just want this nightmare to be over with already"
"You should have never offered to give Draco up" Snape told her.
"It's done now" Sarah ran a weary hand through her hair. "I can't go back and change it"
"But it speeds up his timetable for you, Sarah" Snape told her, crossing his arms. "You need to understand that the choices you make have consequences"
She looked up startled, "What do you mean?"
"I mean…he won't let you stay here…not under the same roof as Draco and his new wife"
"So, I'll go home to Snape Manor"
Snape let out a long breath, "honestly, child, you can't be that naive"
Understanding dawned on her. She had opened herself up for him to take her…
"No way" Sarah stood, fisting her hands, "I'm not going there with him. Not now"
"You don't have a choice. Your baby is gone. Your marriage dissolved. Anything preventing him from taking you is gone."
"I'm still recovering. I'm not ready"
"You were well enough to ask to fool around with Draco last night, Sarah" Snape retorted, his voice quiet. "Did you even think of the implications of your request?"
She swallowed hard, fighting the tears.
"You have to think three steps ahead. That is what will allow you to survive this life"
She swayed, her color retreating.
"You are so pale" Snape said, swiftly moving to her side to grab her arm.
"I'm tired" she mumbled as Snape lead her back to the couch, pushing her down, "I slept horribly last night. Draco was anxious"
"He's worried about you. We all are. I haven't been sleeping well of late either" Snape admitted.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be" Snape said, "It's my job as your father to worry over you"
She nodded, but before she could respond further there was a knock on the door and Voldemort strode in.
Immediately, Snape's hand was on her knee, squeezing it, reminding her to put up her shields, which she did. But her hands shook even with the shields she had up to protect herself.
"Leave us Severus. Sarah and I have some business to attend to."
"My Lord" Severus rose slowly, "she is still considerably weak…she just nearly fainted on me"
He turned to him, "I understand the delicate nature of her recovery. I will not harm her more than necessary"
"Yes, my Lord"
"Ensure we are not interrupted"
"I will, my Lord" Snape bowed.
Severus gave Sarah one last look then left them alone, the door clicking behind them.
"I'm not used to my orders being disregarded so cavalierly" Voldemort said, sternly, "I thought I told you last night was final"
"I..." tears flooded her eyes, "I had to see it for myself"
"Had to?" Voldemort quirked his head at her, "Do you like torturing yourself? I ordered you away for your own good"
"I know…I just…" she paused at his stormy look, "I'm sorry"
"You asked me to release Draco from his obligations to you- for him to marry Weasley"
"Yes" she swallowed hard, "better Draco than Carrow or Avery"
"You have a generous heart..."
"Draco was never truly mine to begin with, my Lord" she dropped her head down to study her hands.
"There are things we must discuss, Sarah" his voice was solemn…foreboding…making Sarah's heartbeat increase significantly.
"She killed my child, my Lord" Sarah tore her eyes up to meet his gaze. "What would you have me do?"
"You killed my mistress"
"You have many women I'm sure who would love to oblige you" she retorted.
"Be that as it may, Bellatrix was perhaps my most loyal follower. She had my mark. I can't have you going unpunished for killing one of my death eaters" his face became hard. "For that and the myriad of lies you inundated me with"
"Kill me then...that seems like appropriate punishment" she looked up at him, "Kill me like you killed Harry. Surely I deserve that"
"Yes you do. But as I said before, I will not. This is the way we are going and nothing that you can say or nothing that you can do, will sway me from this path"
She gave him a weary look, but didn't respond further.
"May I sit?" Voldemort asked, politely, eyeing her couch.
"What I have is yours apparently" she answered.
He sat on the couch. He gripped her knee and nudged her so she was turning towards him. "Now, how are you feeling?" he asked, accessing her.
"Weary" she said.
"You look it. Your magical levels still haven't returned to normal"
"Will they ever?"
"Bellatrix's curse taxed your body" Voldemort said, "I believe they will with proper training to recover them. Severus has been tasked with that. Call it Daddy/daughter bonding time"
"Very well"
"Better that then Carrow, eh?"
"That's generous" Sarah muttered.
"You could at the very least act contrite" he chided.
"I'm having a hard time with that knowing you could curse me at any moment" she said, rising.
"Funny, I thought that would be a strong motivator" he stood, "I'm moving you to my manor"
Her face paled even further and the room swayed. "I...I don't know what to say"
"Your room will be adjacent to mine"
She gripped the chair in front of her, trying to guard her mind, wiping the emotions from her face, "If you wish"
"We are going tonight"
"Tonight?" she looked startled, "Why now?"
"We are dealing with your punishment tonight"
"But why tonight?" Tears flooded her eyes. Tonight Draco and Ginny would consummate their vows, binding them together. Tonight she was losing Draco. Didn't he know it was more than she could bear? "Why must you be so cruel?"
He swept over to her, so his hands were on her face, "I find that you need a distraction from what is happening between Draco and Ginny tonight. I can be giving after all"
"Exceedingly" she answered, dryly.
"Now Sarah" he chided, "you were so contrite yesterday when you asked so nicely…so humbly… for me to grant your request"
"I need to pack, may I have my wand?" she grunted out.
"Absolutely not" he told her, firmly, "Your magic needs to be carefully monitored"
"Fine" she sauntered over to her dresser, "I'll do so the muggle way"
He quickly captured her and held her hands, pinning them to her side, her back still to him, "Do not provoke me" his breath was on her neck.
"I want my wand" she retorted, trying to ignore their uncomfortable proximity.
"I don't trust you yet"
"What do you think I'll do?" she asked, her voice low, her hands still pinned. She tried to shake herself free, but he held her fast.
"I'm not sure" he answered, silkily, "The last time you felt like you had lost something special to you, I found you sticking your head in the bathtub trying to drown yourself. No, I don't have a good handle on your emotional state of late."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I can hide that from you- I've had lots of practice" she retorted, sassily.
He twisted her around forcibly, "No more" he shook her, "your mouth is out of control"
"I don't care about anything anymore. I want my wand"
"You need to learn the art of self control" he retorted, releasing her, "I didn't quite believe Severus when he told me all he had to go through to get you under control because even then you chose them, not me. You stood in front of everyone and you chose them. And for that you will be punished."
She opened her mouth to respond, but he held up his hand, looking at her sternly, "You will take my punishment and you will learn from it. You will live with me at my manor. You will take your meals with me. Your every move will be supervised and approved by me. And when I think the time is right, you will become my lover."
She froze at his words, her anger turning into a thinly veiled panic that the time had actually come, "But…" her voice was hoarse.
"I have given you fair warning. This is not a new development"
"I know that" She put her hand to her head and began to cry. "I just can't do this"
"Sarah" Voldemort's voice was low. "Control yourself"
"This is all too much" she cried out. "Please allow me to go to Snape Manor for a few weeks. I just need a few more weeks to get all this straight in my head"
"No" he shook his head, swiftly, "I have coddled you long enough. It's time you meet your fate head on…and it starts tonight when you will account for your grievances against me"
"I'm not strong enough for this" she croaked, "you know that is true"
"I know you are vulnerable right now, which means you will be amendable to my correction"
"Or I will fall apart worse than I am doing right now and you'll get angry at me" she lowered her head.
"I'm already angry at you" He gripped her arms, "You should have thought about the consequences before you so heedlessly made a very public, very moving stand against me. I refuse to feel sorry for you. Any other witch, I would have given up on long ago"
"And why aren't you giving up on me?" she forced her eyes to look at him.
"For reasons we will discuss tonight. I will send a house elf to help you pack. Be ready. I'm going on ahead and Yaxley will bring you to me"
"Yes sir" she whispered.
"Good" he nodded.
He reached her door before turning around, "I will not break you so fully that you cannot recover. In all things, including this, you must learn to trust my judgment."
She didn't say another word and he left her alone. She buried her head in her hands and laid down on the sofa, not wanting to face this future…her future…with him.
"I'm moving Sarah to my manor today" Voldemort said to Snape who was waiting outside the door.
"I anticipated that" Snape said, smoothly, "How did she take it?"
"Not well" Voldemort frowned. "She started crying"
"Her emotions are raw of late, my Lord" Severus said.
"I'm aware. She teetered between being recklessly defiant and breaking down into hysterics at the thought" He swiped his hands, "I'm done coddling the girl, Severus. I've given her so many passes of late"
"I know my Lord" Severus frowned. "She has always been…well, spirited"
"I'm aware. And I do believe this arrangement will work, once I teach her how to navigate our world"
"Yes"
"Fetch a houseelf to help her pack her things" Voldemort said. "I want her ready to leave. I'm going ahead to the manor to prepare things. Yaxley can take her when she is ready"
"May I help her pack as well?"
"If you'd like"
"Thank you my Lord"
Voldemort nodded and walked away. When he left, Severus leaned against the wall to the hallway, taking a few deep breaths, before summoning Wiggles, instructing her to come in ten minutes time. He needed a few minutes alone with his adopted daughter.
"Sarah" Snape poked his head in the door a few moments later. "I thought I could help you pack"
Sarah stared at the ceiling, "he said he was sending a house elf"
"Yes" Snape strode in and firmly shut the door behind him, "Wiggles will be here in a few minutes to help. Where is your trunk?"
"Closet" she mumbled, closing her eyes.
Severus summoned her trunk from the closet. "Which drawers are yours and which are Draco's?"
She remained silent.
"Sarah" Snape pressed.
"I can't" she groaned. "I just want to lay here and everyone to go away"
Snape strode over to her and gripped her arm and tugged her up to a sitting position."Unfortunately, that's not an option. Focus on packing now"
"No" she shook her head.
Snape turned her around and then shook her gently. "Listen to me. You have to get yourself together. You are going with him tonight. It is going to be significantly harder for you if you can't face this with the courage that I know you have deep within you"
She stared at Snape for a few moments, blinking. Snape shook her again, "Sarah Grace Black" he snapped at her, "you must get yourself under control"
She took a breath, Snape's tone pulling her out of her mood.
He saw her demeanor change, "Better" he nodded at her.
"Dad" her voice shook.
"What is it?"
"Do you think…he'll try to…that I'll have to sex with him tonight?" she grimaced, her face pale.
Snape patted his face, "No, you won't be in any shape tonight for him to do that with you" he said, trying to keep his voice gentle.
"Oh Merlin, help me" she took a breath. "How am I going to survive his torture?"
"You'll survive because he wants you to survive. And he knows you are still weak. He'll be careful with you" Snape said, "And you'll survive because I explicitly taught you how to survive this type of situation"
"I know" she held her breath.
"Breathe" Snape pulled her into his arms. "You can do this"
"But to live at his house…with him"
"His house isn't horrible" Snape held her close, "It's just a house"
"But with…him"
"I know" Snape patted her back, "Take it one day at a time. I wish I could be more encouraging, but this will be the hardest thing you will perhaps ever face. But I have no doubt that you will face it with grace, courage and determination. And that is what will continue to attract him to you"
"It's going to be miserable"
"Indeed it will" Snape said, solemnly, pulling away, "but perhaps maybe you can find your light even in the dark places you will face"
"How?" she asked, aghast.
"I think at this point Dumbledore would say something cryptic like 'start with the library'"
"The library?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"It's extensive. I think that even though it is in his house, you'll appreciate it"
"If you say"
"And then there is that potions lab that he created"
"He did?" Sarah asked, softly.
"It's nice" Snape said, "And I think he had a purpose of making sure that was included in the renovations to his manor. Find that light…and hold on to that with all your might"
She took a deep, soothing breath, "I need to pack the things in my lavatory as well. I can show you which drawers are mine for Wiggles to pack. And the clothes in the closet should be obvious which are mine and which are" she took another cleansing breath, "Draco's"
"Very good" Snape nodded, patting her arms again, "Let's get you ready then"
"Let's then"
She tried to put on a brave face when her things were taken away an hour before she was scheduled to leave. Snape spent that time with her, trying to keep the conversation causal but they were both clearly out of sorts.
And she tried not to pass out when Yaxley came from her. Snape had given her a quick affectionate hug and kiss on the head and placed her in Yaxley's care. She could feel his eyes on her though as she left the room with Yaxley and even though she knew he wasn't showing any emotion, she knew he felt it. And when Yaxley dragged her outside and apparated with her, she earnestly tried not to throw up all over him. Unfortunately the feeling of nausea only increased as she climbed the steps to Voldemort's Manor and he greeted them at the door.
"Thank you, Yaxley"
He glanced at her briefly, his look pointed in the direction of her trembling hands. She stuffed them into the pockets of her thin jacket. Even in summer, there was a damp chill to the air. She was thankful for the pockets to hide her anxious habit. He only frowned but didn't say anything to her, instead telling Yaxley, "Gather Avery and Nott. We have business to discuss here after dinner. Let's say 7. It should only take about an hour"
"Yes my Lord"
Sarah inferred that meant her hour of doom must be around 8 pm after his business was finished. Unless he wanted to discipline her in front of the others in which case it would be earlier. The thought caused her heartbeat to quicken significantly. But as she was contemplating it, she was unaware that Yaxley had left her on the top of the steps and now she was alone with the Dark Lord.
"Come inside, dear one. There is a chill to the air" Voldemort took her elbow and guided her inside the door, shutting the large wooden doors behind them with a flick of his wand. "You look pale" he said, disapprovingly.
"I hate apparition" she swallowed hard."It makes me nauseous"
"I remember. Hands out of your pockets now"
She slid her hands out of her pockets and managed to control their tremble.
"Good" Voldemort studied them for movement, "Very good"
"I'm so glad you are pleased" she retorted, somewhat sarcastically.
He inclined his head at her, "Is this truly how you are going to play this?"
"I'm not sure" Sarah answered honestly, her hand moving to twist her ponytail around, her nausea still present and only increasing under her nerves of being here alone with him.
"Well, dear one, I suggest you figure it out and soon" He reached for her hand, taking it from where it was fiddling with her hair and dropping it to her side, "All these habits." His tone held his disapproval. She knew nervous habits annoyed him.
She fought the urge to chew on her lip, "It's just this initial…" she paused, "change"
"I have no doubt you will control these tendencies when you become more accustomed to your life here. Are you still feeling the effects of apparition?"
She nodded.
He waved his wand at her stomach and her stomach settled.
"Now, let's go upstairs."
He took her by the crook of her elbow up the stairs.
"These are my quarters through here" he pointed to a door along the hallway and walked with her a bit further. "And these, are yours"
He pushed open the door and pulled her through the door. Black wallpaper, black paint, black furnishings, black comforter set- there was a window, but with the black drapes everything was so dark. It was oppressive. She could feel it from the moment she came in- closing in on her…stifling her. And then she knew what it was…the room screamed Bellatrix. Her father's killer, her baby's killer…and the woman she killed.
He stepped in front of her. "Your things should be unpacked already"
"I could have done that" she said, trying to ignore how uncomfortable the room made her…knowing Bella was in this room…lived here for a while…maybe even shared this with him from time to time…doing…
Sarah fought the disgust that was welling up in her.
"But why, when there are others to do it for you?"
She swallowed hard, trying to draw back her attention to him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
He gave her a severe look, but just repeated his question, "But why would you want to, when there are others to do it for you?
"Then what shall I do here...besides..." she shifted, "well, being available to you?"
"Are you worried you will become bored?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Actually..." she frowned, "Yes"
"There is an extensive library" Voldemort replied, "which if I am not mistaken, you'll enjoy spending time in."
"I suppose" she said, still frowning.
"What is it?"
She sighed, "I'm in no position to speak freely here" she told him, honestly.
He sat down on her bed. "Now that is not entirely true. Only two minutes ago you just used quite the snarky tone with me and I don't believe there was any consequence for that lack of respect."
"There are always consequences and I don't want to give you more reason to be angry at me"
"Is that why you are hesitant to answer my question? Because you are awaiting punishment?"
"Well, yes"
"Smart girl" Voldemort look over at where she was still standing in the middle of the room. "But I asked you a question and I am unaccustomed to having my question or my wishes ignored. You should know that by now. If you are worried that I will hold your answer against you, let me assure you that in this instance you have my permission to answer honestly without any further consequences. Now go on"
She took a breath, trying to phrase her feelings strategically, "I need something more to occupy my time. I will go mad without a distraction and I don't think that is truly what you want in your…" she swallowed hard, "lover"
"Oh, well done. Hardly a flinch. Come here"
He patted the bed next to him and she came and sat next to him immediately.
"Hopefully, there will be children soon"
She cringed.
"And there it is. What disgusts you about that, Sarah?" his voice was low, "having sex with me to get them or having them in general?"
She turned to him, "I just lost a child...in a most horrific way"
"Whose fault was that?" he practically growled at her.
"Bellatrix's fault" she snapped, "it was her fault! She killed my child! She nearly killed me. It's all her fault!"
"Why are you pushing me?" he asked, reaching out to brush her hair out of her face. "You seem determined to push me into being sinister when really that is not what I want right now. Why are you being so combative? Do you really think that it is your best interest? Come now, little one, you are much smarter than this"
"I want you to get so angry that you will kill me"
"We've established I'm not doing that, so you need to change your strategy" he traced her face, "so you won't be completely miserable all the time"
"And my strategy should be just to accept this is my fate"
"I told you I would win" Voldemort said, "it shouldn't have been a surprise to you nor the fact that you will be punished for your crimes"
"My crimes?"
"You chose the wrong side, Sarah" he said, matter of factually, "and we will discuss that more tonight"
"I betrayed you. I should be dead now. Why won't you just kill me?"
"Because I want what I want and I want you" he continued to trace her jawline, "now more than ever, which is why I'm stepping up my plans for you."
"I don't have what you want"
"You do" he insisted, "we will discuss this at length tonight. Take a shower"
"Why?"
"You smell like Malfoy"
Her eyes widened at his implication. "That's not true"
"Do not contradict me" He smacked the side of her leg hard, "Did you shower today?"
She paused, "No"
"And didn't you and Malfoy..." he paused, "take advantage of your time together last night in various ways?"
She grunted her response.
"Then it is entirely true. He may have not claimed you entirely, but you still smell of him…and you"
"Well, you shouldn't say so even if it is true!"
"Why not?"
"It's personal"
"Nothing is personal between us now" he told her, his voice stern, "nothing"
He let the weight of his statement sink in, "Now go shower"
She stared at him hard, before asking, "Do you have a specific shampoo or conditioner that you want me to use? Or a soap? What would you like to smell like when I'm crying on the floor withering under your..." she paused, "discipline?"
"Giving up Malfoy brought back your reckless spirit, Sarah" Voldemort said, crossing his arms, "Don't worry, I'm up for the challenge, but you should be warned, the more you push, the worse I push back"
"I grew up with Snape. I'm used to the push back" she said.
"Snape would never actually harm you" Voldemort said, "I have no problem with torturing you for your compliance. And that happens to be an area I'm quite gifted in. The darkest, most powerful wizard of all time…don't you remember?"
"I really, really hate you!" she told him, now crossing her arms.
"I'm aware. And unfortunately for you, I don't care" Voldemort said, quietly, "Now the lavatory is through those doors. There should be shampoo and soap in there already. Towels in the linen closet. I'll choose what you will wear"
She frowned, "Am I going to have no choices here?"
"You will have to earn them" he told her. "I am choosing your clothes from now on"
"Can I at least pick out my knickers?"
"Absolutely not" he inclined his head at her, "That's the most fun part"
"That's revo…"
"If I were you, I would refrain from finishing that statement" he warned her, interrupting her.
"What if you don't like my clothes?"
"Then I'll burn the clothes I don't and buy you new ones that are more fitting to the style in which I want my lovers to wear"
"I like my clothes"
"I don't care if you do or don't. It's not about what you like. It's about what I like"
She struggled to regulate her breathing.
"Now go take a shower. When I give you an order, I expect it to be carried out in a timely manner"
She bit her lip, "Where will you be?"
"So many questions today" he commented, "I'll choose your clothes then I need to talk to the house elves about supper tonight. When you have adjusted to your new home, those are part of the duties I want you to take over"
"Alright" she stood up and made her way towards the door he pointed to.
"Sarah?"
She turned around.
He pointed to another door on the opposite side of the room, "this door leads to my own quarters. It should remain unlocked at all times. I want access to you at all times"
He was going to smother her, she knew it, "I understand"
"Do you?"
She fought to control her reaction, "Yes"
"And you do know if I wanted to, I could go in there with you instead of staying out here?" he told her, "I don't think I am smothering you at all"
She paused and turned back around, wide-eyed, "did you..." her voice trailed off.
"Yes"
"But how?" she swallowed hard, "I had no idea"
"Are you curious?"
She sought his eyes, "Yes. Snape did that once before without me knowing. I want to know how it works"
"I can help you understand the art of legilimancy better" he said, quietly, "I won't give away all my secrets, but I will teach you if you want. Although that knowledge is something you have to earn...through respect and obedience. I don't think you'll be bored here at all. Now go on. I'll leave your clothes on your bed. Take your time in the shower if you'd like. Tonight is going to be taxing for you. I'll send a houseelf to show you to my study when you are finished"
He gestured her away and she left without another word. When she got into the lavatory she clicked the door shut and leaned against it for a few minutes, staring straight ahead, not even bothering to take around her surroundings before Voldemort said loudly, "I should be hearing the shower by now"
She groaned, his words snapping her out of her trance, "Why haven't you picked out my clothes yet?"
She felt the door being pushed open, her being pushed with it.
He turned on the shower for her with a flick of his wand, "you may adjust the temperature to your liking, however one more semi disrespectful remark from you and I will watch you take this shower, do you understand?"
"Yes, sir" She managed to get out quickly.
"And I did" He threw something at her, "The rest are lying on your bed." He turned on his heels, "In the shower, Sarah Grace" he barked over his shoulder as he left the room. She looked down at her hand to reveal a pair of knickers that Draco loved- the black lace ones that they had purchased on their shopping trip when they were first married.
Her heart despairing, she had no choice but to follow orders, taking a long time in the shower, allowing the hot water to cascade over her as she tried to wrap her mind around her destiny.
A/N: Please, please review! Would love thoughts. Up next: we revisit Malfoy Manor to see what happens there with Snape and Draco and then of course there is Sarah's punishment.
