Title: Oil, Water, and Blood
Summary: Time travel, magic, and chakra don't mix, and they never have. Well, that is, until you meet Rokudaime Hokage, Kakashi Hatake, because he wakes up one day in the body of his eleven year old self—and is almost immediately assigned a mission with the rest of Team 7 to a school of magic. Oh goody.
Warnings: Swearing, violence, crude humor, no pairings outside of canon, unbetaed work, spoilers, possible OOC, crackish, etc.
Notes: Everything said before. Oh, and I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.
+Sorry for the later than usual update. I had a lot of plot bunnies and writer's block to work out… Oh and high school's pretty hectic as well…
~oOo~
"Hey, glad to see you're feeling better, Kakashi!"
Kakashi huffs in annoyance when Minato-sensei ruffles his hair, batting his hand away. "Of course I'm fine, sensei."
Minato-sensei positively pouts. "But Kashi-kun, I was worried."
"I know you were," Kakashi sighs and wonders who the adult here is. (Then again, Kakashi is older than Minato-sensei by a good twenty years.) "The dementors are simply… nasty."
"Nasty isn't even scratching the surface." Minato-sensei grimaces slightly. "Are you okay though?"
"I'm fine, sensei—"
"What did you dream of?"
Kakashi exhales slowly, closing his eyes and leaning against the bedpost of Minato-sensei's bed. They're alone, and it's quiet without his teammates around.
"Death," he finally says after a very, very long pause. Kakashi's exhausted, and he doesn't bother hiding it. "A lot of death. I nearly broke when I woke up."
His sensei frowns. "Kakashi, the dementors showed you your worst memories. I heard you mumbling our names." Kakashi doesn't need Minato-sensei to elaborate on who "our" is.
Kakashi doesn't open his eyes and tries to relax. He doesn't. "It's in my memories then."
"Kakashi," Minato-sensei says. "What aren't you telling me?"
Kakashi flops backward on Minato-sensei's bed, looking up at the canopy. "You and I, like any other shinobi, hide things," Kakashi murmurs. "I just happen to hide more than you do."
"Please, Kakashi. At least let me help."
He rolls over on his side. "You've done plenty," Kakashi tells him truthfully.
"But clearly not enough—I'm your teacher for god's sake—"
Kakashi cuts him off with a cold, sharp, and bitter laugh. I failed your son as his teacher. "You don't have an obligation to me, sensei. And I'm dealing with it fine. I have help in other sources." Tenzo and Itachi.
Minato-sensei takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. "…Alright. But if I honestly think you can't deal with it—therapy."
"Therapy is useless. But whatever you say, sensei."
~oOo~
A tap on his shoulder at breakfast, four days later, makes him turn. Itachi is standing here, having materialized out of nothing. He holds up a scroll and says, "Namikaze-san isn't in the room. We've received a scroll. It requires us three to open."
Kakashi nods. "Alright. I'll be there."
Itachi disappears and Kakashi turns to his tablemates. "I'm really sorry," he says sincerely and inclines his head. "Something came up, and I need to go."
"It's no problem," Hermione dismisses. "Do what you need to."
"Thanks." Kakashi proceeds to shunshin out of the Hall and into the room, where Tenzo and Itachi are waiting.
Tenzo's mask is brushed to the side of his face while Itachi's is attached at his hip. Kakashi takes a seat across from them, the scroll being the center, and rests his hand on the scroll with Tenzo and Itachi before sending chakra through the scroll. Promptly, the scroll unravels.
Itachi's sharp eyes scan over the page quickly, and upon reaching the bottom of the scroll, he rubs his temples and sighs explosively.
A little surprised and worried at the Uchiha's blatant sign of emotion, Kakashi quirks an eyebrow. "So?"
Wordlessly, Itachi begins to form hand signs, and Kakashi reads them—they're the standard ANBU hand signs only ANBU and the Hokage can read—but Kakashi, being ex-ANBU, understands them perfectly.
The Sandaime says that a little more than a month before our mission, he'd received a letter from our current client. It was an urgent letter detailing not only a mission request but a seal for time-mind-swap ninjutsu, but when the Sandaime checked, it had clearly been used at least two or three times, and the residual chakra was foreign.
He began to consult us three—mainly because of our abilities, and assumed that we would be far stronger in the future—and that's true. Hokage-sama had no idea whether it worked or not, and your team to Hogwarts in thanks for our client's information. Apparently our minds being muddled is a side effect of the ninjutsu, so nobody tampered with our minds.
Hokage-sama, before us two ANBU had come here, had asked us to watch out for oddly strong shinobi—and I'm assuming those are the ones who have been brought to this universe along with us.
Hokage-sama said that we were brought here from the "future" to make sure that the "future" enemy shinobi do not attack us. The main reason he sent us on this mission is not only because our client needed it; the scroll was found in this area, and we have reason to assume that the enemy is here as well.
Kakashi and Tenzo are silent, taking a moment to digest the information. "It makes sense," Kakashi murmurs. "I suppose, our dimension's Hokage or not, he's still the Hokage."
Tenzo nods. "Let's finish the mission here and complete what the Hokage has asked of us."
Itachi rolls up the scroll and sets fire to it with a well-placed Katon no Jutsu and removes the ashes before rising. "We can discuss things later."
"Then tomorrow night in the Forbidden Forest?" Kakashi suggests. "I'll only go if I can go without Minato-sensei though."
Tenzo smirks. "Why, senpai, you actually sound your physical age—" Kakashi silences him with the glare he'd perfected over the years—However bad you think you are, I'm worse. [1]
His kohai gulps. "Okay. Yeah. Understood, senpai."
~oOo~
"I don't mean to pry, but what were you talking about in your room this morning?" Harry asks on the way to Potions, grimacing at the sight of the door.
"Oh! We were discussing things about our life," Kakashi replies cheerfully, and Hermione, Harry, and Ron grimace at the non-answer.
Kakashi, as usual, takes a seat near Neville and Hermione, usually close by to Harry and Ron as well. What Kakashi had said about the boy being a prodigy when it comes to potions isn't actually a lie—he aces Herbology, and he understands how many plants work and how to care for them.
(He remembers the look on Hermione, Harry, and Ron's faces when he told them that Neville has the potential to be better than Snape of all people at Potions. It was absolutely priceless.)
Despite what most others might think, Kakashi and Snape get along quite well—with the rate that Kakashi is making friends with the Potions Master, he might even be able to convince the professor to be nicer to Neville. (Not that he isn't doing that already…)
Kakashi likes to say it's his own personal charm, but it's probably only because Snape enjoys watching him make snarky comments.
Snape drifts past Neville without giving him a second glance, looking into Neville's cauldron quickly before heading to pick on Harry. Unfortunately, Kakashi doubts he'd ever be able to break Snape of that unfortunate habit.
"To be fair, Professor Snape," Kakashi speaks up cheerfully, "Malfoy's potion turned the same color as Harry's."
Snape's gaze flickers to Malfoy's potion and back to Harry's. "I suppose both of you deserve half-credit then," he murmurs icily, sounding displeased.
Kakashi is quite glad that Obito isn't in the room right now, because if he was, then Kakashi would have to hold him back from beating the crap out of the teacher.
(Obito hates the dungeons for some reason—during their exploration of the school, Obito had turned green and had mumbled something about princesses and had run away. Naturally, he avoids the dungeons like the plague.)
Malfoy glares vengefully at Kakashi but wisely holds his tongue while Harry gives Kakashi a grateful look as he casually "stretches" and slips a piece of paper with clearer instructions along with a cheerful note: "I think you need better glasses."
Harry stares, open-mouthed, at the extra note and blinks rapidly. He quickly regains his composure, shaking his head, and begins to do his potion again.
Kakashi smiles.
~oOo~
OMAKE:
Kakashi blinks blearily at the huge stack of papers and feels very, very sorry for his older self.
But seriously, who was the retard who thought it'd be a great idea to make me Hokage? Kakashi thinks, raising an eyebrow before touching the weird scar over his eye.
Soon after waking in this body, a Minato-sensei-clone had barged in, followed by a pink-haired kunoichi and a broody boy who looked like an Uchiha, all of them shouting that his chakra had depleted to ridiculous extents.
Kakashi had explained everything to them and surprisingly, they ate it up.
When he'd asked why, the broody boy (who was an Uchiha!) had deadpanned and said in a deadly serious tone: "When you live in a world with Naruto fucking Namikaze-Uzumaki, you can believe literally anything."
Thankfully, he doesn't have to do any paperwork, since he's apparently a "clueless eleven year old bratty Kaka-sensei" (albeit the nickname is annoying), but he has to take a ridiculous history lesson with holy shit is that Tsunade-sama.
"So, brat," she says, taking a seat and sighing explosively, "what have you gotten yourself into this time?" It's a rhetorical question, but Kakashi takes that to mean that his older self gets into trouble a lot.
"Um," he replies intelligently. Then he blurts out, "You haven't aged a day!"
Tsunade-sama simply smiles wryly. "Oh, I wish. It's just a genjutsu." She raps her fingers over the desk table. "Well, let's start."
Kakashi… let's just say he was never the same afterwards.
~oOo~
[1] Bonus points to who gets the reference here.
a/n: I am so, so sorry for the lateness of this chapter!
Writer's block is annoying. But I hope the Omake makes up for it… somewhat. It's a little anecdote of 11 year old Kakashi.
Well, here's a little non-OW&B related question:
From the epilogue, what was your least favorite canon pairing and what was your favorite?
My least favorite was Sakura and Sasuke and my favorite was Shikamaru and Temari.
The former pairing I don't hate but I personally think Sakura deserved someone better.
(Don't hate me pls)
