Thank you all again for the feedback! It's helps inspire me to update! I am sorry this one got away from me and got long! Hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the SOA characters! They belong to Kurt Sutter Ronnie and Gia however are my own creations
"What are you doing here Op? I thought you had to work this morning?" Jax asked as he was up before the sun too, he wanted to double check the Monte Carlo before Ronnie showed up. Lowell was one of their best mechanics, but Jax knew he wouldn't be happy until he looked at him self.
"Same reason you are re-checking Lowell's work." He said knowing that Jax was just as worried as he was. No one had been able to reach Ronnie since Jax talked to her yesterday. When Jax told Opie what she had said they were both pissed and more than worried.
"Something don't feel right Op." Jax said as he wiped off his hands.
"I know, and we will find out in a few hours. Why don't you bring it down off the hoist and I will help you shine her up." Opie said taking off his cut and leather jacket and placed them on top of the tool box.
They finished up waxing the car, and head inside as people started to show up for work, they were both on coffee cup number three when Clay came out of the back where the rooms were.
"Come on, she's pulling up now." He said to both the boys, they were out the door before he was.
They all gathered, all of the Sons and Gemma gathered and anxiously awaited for her to pull in the driveway. But no of them, not none of them expected to see her how she came in.
All of them held their breath as she rolled to a stop riding Red's old bike. The one Jax and he had built together. She turned off the engine and kicked the stand down, took off her helmet and hung it on the bike.
"A couple of days ago, I came here and handed out things of my father's to the people who he wanted them to go to. Things that were important to him that they go to special people, family. Well Jackson Teller, this is yours." I said getting up and dangling the keys to it off my finger.
"Is this?" Was all Jax could get out before the emotion over swept him and he was afraid to open his mouth for fear he would just start crying. After all this time, the bike he fell in love with, the bike he helped build from the frame was here, back in his life, under his finger tips, and it was Ronnie who brought it back. For Jax you didn't get anymore emotional than that.
"I know you already have a bike, and that's fine. Maybe one day your son can have it, or maybe you want to alternate, I don't care. The bike it yours, dad wanted it back with you and now it is." I said patting him on the shoulder and handed two envelopes to Opie and kept walking for the club house.
Opie opened the envelope and saw the title for the bike, and the other one was a hand written note to Jax from Red. He would give to him later.
When Jax took a moment to realize what Ronnie had done, he wanted to thank her, hug her, hold her, but when he turned around he saw her going into the club house closely followed by Clay, Opie and Gemma. He took off running to catch up and told Happy not to let anyone so much as breath on the bike.
"You said when you were back you would explain, where are you going?" Clay said after Ronnie as he followed her to where the rooms were.
"Is this Jax's room?" She asked barely coherent.
"Yeah baby, but I think we should talk first." Gemma said trying to get the truth out without pissing her off.
"No, I haven't slept since Thursday, it is now Sunday, I want to sleep, yes I am home, no I am not leaving anytime soon, all I want is a few hours of shut eye and then you can grill me until you are satisfied. Okay?" She asked seeing that Jax was now there and heard every word.
Clay took a moment to look at her, and she was right she looked exhausted and need sleep. He was just glad she was willing to go to sleep and he wouldn't have to make her.
Ronnie went into Jax's room, her bag clashed to the floor and her body flopped on his bed, sideways. She didn't care if she was laying the wrong way, she didn't even care if she was comfortable, she just wanted to be laying down and just as she was about to fall a sleep she heard him come in and lay next to her.
"Ronnie….I…." Jax struggled to find the right words, his gradititude for what she had just given him were too much.
"Jax….Sleep….please…" She muttered under the blankets and pillows where she tried to burry herself deeper.
He wasn't ready to leave her side yet so he just laid there in bed next to her until he knew she was completely out which didn't take long either. When he could he got up from the bed and went back out to the garage.
"Up and at em princess." I heard as my dark quiet sleep was jerked into sudden sunlight and interruption.
"What the hell?" I said as the blankets were violently ripped off me and the sunlight assaulted my eye lids. They were sore and still very heavy. As I rubbed them I saw Jax sitting on the end of the bed and Opie standing next to it.
"Just a few more hours…." I said and fell back on the bed. Without so much as a warning I was being hoisted over Op's shoulder and we were walking down the hallway.
"I'm gonna kill you for this." I said and the words struck a chord with me and I suddenly had knots all over my body.
"You have slept for the past 12 hours, it's question time." Opie said picking me up hauling me down to the room where everyone waited, I didn't have the strength or the energy to fight him right now.
"Jax, we are at the table, let's go." Opie said as he rounded the corner in the hallway.
"I'll grab the Ronnie some coffee and be right there." Jax yelled back as he followed after them.
"Look who decided to wake up?" Opie said as he came into the room where everyone was already gathered.
"More like kidnapped." I mumbled as Opie put me down by my chair.
"Um, don't we require our members to at least be wearing pants at these meeting?" Bobby said looking me up and down and it was then that I looked down and noticed I was only in a oversized "Samcro" t-shirt and a pair of boxers. I looked over to Clay who was looking at me over his glasses and I suddenly felt dumb.
"You had blood on yours, I have a crow eater trying to get the stains out but they will probably have to be burned. You needed clothes." Jax said setting my coffee on the table in front of me.
"Awesome." I said sarcastically. I looked over and saw that I was being looked up and down all over so I sat down in the chair and pulled my knees up to my chest and pulled the shirt down over them. Clay started the meeting and looked over at me.
"So, out with it."
I knew this was coming, and if I wasn't overly tired I probably would have been nervous and anxious but I instead I was clam and I sipped my coffee.
"What exactly did you want to know?" I said blowing on the hot liquid.
"Well you could start with where the hell you were?" Opie spoke up from the across the table, he looked angry and I knew that I owed them answers.
"I was in Vegas." I said swallowing the bolder that had landed in my throat.
"What the hell were you doing in Vegas?" Trig asked upset and he sat forward trying to understand why I would do such a thing alone.
"Well I tracked the guy down who stole my dad's bike, and I knew I had to get I back, so I went to Vegas and I got it back." I said taking another sip, I was having a really hard time looking people in the face and suddenly I felt very guilty and I couldn't figure out why.
"Alone?" Piney said turning up his oxygen tank a little.
"No, I wasn't completely alone." I said vaguely knowing that wasn't the end of it.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Jax said upset next to me, I wasn't sure how to counter that. I understood them being upset, but I was grown and I took care of myself for a long time, just because I was back didn't mean I was helpless.
"I had an old friend help me locate the son of a bitch and took care of him, how is that?" I said back in a tone that I no longer cared who was upset with me.
"Who is this friend?" Juice said, and as soon as he said it, I knew that the moment if I chose to reveal Gia's identity, Juice would be digging up anything and everything on her and that is not what I wanted to happen. After a job like this, Gia and I would always take a month or so with no communication, just to process and move on from what had happened. There was no way I would break her trust like that for this family, Gia had saved my life more times that I cared to try and remember. I would keep her identity a mystery for now.
"It doesn't matter who the friend is because she is family to me in a sense where I am still alive sitting here before you because of her. You all wanted facts, here are the facts, I found the man who cheated my father out of a bike that when he lost it, it broke his heart. I went to Vegas, got my dad's bike back, other than that, I don't know what else you all want from me, I did what I had to do…just like any of you would have done." I said finally and leaned back in my chair, coffee cup in my hands, I took my eyes away from all of them, and tried to calm myself down.
"I just have one last question…" Jax said calmly and quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear, I looked up to everyone else's face and I could see the anger was all gone, they were all more understanding of my voyage and why I had to do it the way I did. I finally looked over at Jax, his blue eyes piercing mine.
"The blood on your clothes that I found…" Jax trailed off knowing that neither one of us needed him to finish that sentence we all knew what he was asking. And that was when all the emotion of taking a life had caught up with me. I had suppressed it all until this moment.
The reality of what I had done, taken a life that wasn't supposed to be over yet, I suddenly felt over whelmed with sadness guilt and it consumed me.
"Yes, it was his…" I said as water filled my eyes. I returned them back down to my cup.
"Was it you?" He asked softly.
"Yes, it was me that took him out." I said as my chin began to shake but I wouldn't allow myself to openly cry in front of the members. Jax put his arm around me and I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder.
"Well I am satisfied, can we put this to bed, with the understanding that from this moment on, you never handle anything else on your own again? I think we all understand this was for your dad, but there won't be a next time, right?" Clays asked hoping he was answering his own question.
"Right." I said taking a deep breath. Clay hit the gavel and I was the first one up and out of the room, I put the mug back on the bar when I heard Gemma.
"Baby, why are you in Jax's boxers and t-shirt?" Gemma said from the massive hug that pulled me in.
"I got back and just passed out, it was a long ride. What's that?" I said motioning to a duffle bag she had in her hands. I saw Jax come up to stand next to me and I wanted to run.
"I stopped by your dads and picked up some of your clothes, figured you need some clean ones." She said handing over the bag.
"Thanks Gemma, you are the best." I said kissing her on the cheek and headed straight for the rooms.
"She okay?" Gemma asked putting her purse on the bar.
"Hard to say, I am just happy she is back, did you see what's outside?" He asked her as they both watched where I had disappeared to.
"No, what?" She said looking at her son.
"Come on." He said smiling and put his arm around his mom and walked her outside to see the bike.
"Hey, is my car ready yet?" I came out after a shower and fresh clothes. I found Opie and asked him.
"Yeah I'll grab the keys." He said I turned around and saw Jax sitting on my car.
"Jesus, does he ever give it a rest?" I asked as Opie put the keys in my hand.
"Just hear him out, your too hard on him sometimes, you are hard on each other, but you should know that you just did probably the most special thing for him, anyone has ever done for him in his life, that bike, meant the world to him. And now to have it back, by your hand means a lot to him." Opie gave me a quick side hug and a kiss on the top of the head and pushed my towards my car.
"Oh, before I forget, Donna wants you over for dinner some time next week." Opie yelled after me.
"Done, just let me know what day." I said back as I slowed my pace the closer I got to my car.
"Where you headed?" he asked gently.
"Dad's. I have a ton of work to do there and I have some stuff to figure out." I said juggling the keys in my hand.
"Do you need any help?" He asked sliding off the car.
"No, I should be okay, but thank you for offering." I said and threw my bag in the front seat of the car. Silence fell between us and when no one said anything I opened the car door and went to get in.
"Damn it Ronnie, I can't stand this." He said out of frustration. I saw the look on his face and knew I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. There had been tension between us since last week, but with the trip to Vegas that all got pushed to the side.
"What?" I said playing his normal card of denial.
"This! You and I mad at each other, or you mad at me I should say. I am sorry for the whole Wendy thing, after you left that night mom and I talked with her, and she promised me no more using while she is still pregnant. Mom is going to help me keep an eye on her, but if wasn't for you I never would have seen she was using." He said in a greatful tone. He had started to pace back and forth and I knew he wasn't done.
"And I am sorry I never mentioned being married but I am not happy with her, I am not IN love with her for damn sure, I guess once I saw you were back I was embarrassed for you to see my life now." He said leaning on the car next to me looking down at his shoes.
"Why would you be embarrassed? Why did you marry someone you weren't in love with? The only thing that embarrasses me is that you still treat me like I am 8." I said giving him the truth of where my frustration was with him.
"It's Tara, my heart is still fucked up because of her. No matter who I am with, or what skank I fuck, it always comes back to her, it always ends right back with her and what we were. I think I married Wendy cause I was lonely and I just wanted to know that no matter how far I wondered that there would always be someone waiting at home." He said kinda working through his emotions and what was wrong with him out just by talking about it. Bikers never really had emotions, there were more of the time seen as weakness but Jax was different. He was always really sensitive with those he loved, which was his brother, his mother and this mc club.
"Wow, that was a lot…of bull shit. Jax, you listen to me and you listen to me good." I paused to make sure he was looking at me in the eyes.
"Trust me, I understand the love that you and Tara have, but you have to start working through the fact that she left. Whether that was because of you or despite you, you have to accept the fact that she left. You need to admit it out loud, right now….say it Jax! Say you still love Tara Knowles!" I said getting up in his face, the smile on his face told me that he did not want to do this, and he didn't want to face this. It wasn't the greatest time or place to have a break through but with Jax there never really was.
"SAY IT JAX!" Yelled at him inches away from his face and he pushed me back with tears in his eyes.
"I STILL LOVE TARA KNOWLES! She tore my fucking heart out and shattered it! But I miss her, I miss her smile, the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, the sound of her laugh, the way she always knew me and I never had to say anything. I fucking miss and love her, okay? You happy now?" Jax yelled back in my face and the tears in his eyes told me he was on a roll. He took a few deep breathes then stopped and looked at me with new eyes, I smiled.
"Feels good doesn't it?" I asked him as he put his hand on his chest and started to smile.
"Yeah, it actually does." He said starting to laugh a little.
"Now, every day, once a day you need to say out loud to yourself or someone else. 'Tara, I forgive you' " I said putting hand on his shoulder.
"For how long?" He asked desperately wanting to have this lightened feeling within him stay.
"Say it every day until you can believe it. And from there, you can move on. And when you can move on, the sooner you will be back to the Jax Teller I know and love." I said and he rushed me and pulled me into a big hug. It was nice, the feeling of arms embracing me was nice.
"Thank you, thank you so much." He said into my neck as he held me tighter.
"I just want you to be happy, what good is that huge heart you have if you can't share it with someone." I said pulling out of his arms and walking around.
"I'm stopping by later, so I will bring dinner." He said and I just smiled. I pulled out and headed for home, I looked in the rear view mirror and Jax stood there and watched me leave.
I made it back to dad's just as the realitor arrived.
"Are you Veronica Seglar?" The woman in the older looking suit asked.
"I am, thank you for coming on a Sunday, but I want to get this house sold as soon as possible." I said shaking her hand.
She came in the house and I showed her around, we talked about a selling price and I told her I would be cleaning up the place so it should be empty by the time she was ready to show it.
I was still really tired, and just wanted to go back to sleep, but I forced myself to start going through dad's stuff and making piles, stuff to donate, stuff to toss and stuff I should keep. I went out to the garage to get some more boxes when I realized dad had so many tools, I made a mental note to talk to Clay or Jax and seeing if the garage wanted them, otherwise I would donate those too.
I spent a good couple of hours sorting, boxing and cleaning when the front door rang.
"Happy birthday." Jax said with a small bag dangling from his finger.
"Jax, my birthday is not for another month, what is this?" I asked shutting the door behind him. I looked in it and there was a box.
"Something you desperately need." He said looking at the work she had been doing, there were piles and boxes every where.
"A cell phone? And it's not prepaid?" I asked knowing how most Sons had to roll around these days and more of them had pre pays for work and regular cells for all other purposes.
"Yeah, you turned off the house phone, and tossed the prepays, now you have one incase anyone needs you or you need them. I programmed Gemma, Op, Clay and me in there, I can have half sack put the rest in there tomorrow." Jax said picking up an old framed photo of my dad and I. In it I couldn't have been more then 2 or 3. "Hap was right, you do look like your mom." Jax said smiling and put it back down.
"Thanks for the phone, you didn't have to." I said knowing that I would end up losing it, I was never good at caring those things.
"I know, so what do you want for dinner? My treat." He said smiling from ear to ear.
"I don't know Jax, I have a ton of work here to get done…" I said not wanting to go out, I was tired and overwhelmed here at dad's and I just wanted a night in.
"Well, what do you say to take out and I stay and help you?" Jax offered.
I wasn't sure about it at first but than I looked around at just the room we were in and it was almost unbearable, and I decided some help wouldn't kill me.
"Sure, You order I'll pay?" I said knowing he was going to try and pay. I saw him hesitate, but he nodded and picked up his cell and called in the order. About an hour later we were eating on what wasleft of the living room floor, chop sticks and laughing hysterically over our past and memories. It was good for both of us, kept him from dwelling on what I had done and prevented him from asking anymore questions and it kept my mind off, well everything. It was exactly what we needed.
"No, no, no….the greatest were the DJ tapes you me and Op used to make, remember those?" I said while laughing, I saw spit him chicken back out and started laughing hysterically when I heard my new cell phone going off.
"Hello?" I said trying to stop laughing.
"Glad to see you're got your present and you know how to answer it." Clay said, he sounded worried.
"Ha Ha Ha, funny….really. What's up?" I asked trying to get something out of my teeth.
"Jax with you?" He asked.
"Yeah, you want to talk to him?" I said taking a drink of my beer.
"No, I need both of you here at the club house now." Clay hung up before I had a chance to say anything else. I hung up the phone and looked over at Jax who was still grinning like a fool.
"That was Clay, says he needs you and me at the club house now." I said looking down at the mess in front of me.
"I will clean this up, why don't you go throw on a new shirt and we will head out." He said seeing the smile disappear from my face, he stayed calm. I nodded and went to change. I wasn't sure what this was all about so I dressed sensabily and wore jeans and a black SAMCRO t-shirt and my white sneakers.
"I'll meet you over there?" I asked as I locked up the house, he was already on his bike.
"You don't want to ride with me?" He asked, I really didn't but I knew he would be offended if I didn't so I just hopped on and put the helmet on.
We got to the club house and met up with everyone in the bar. I made my rounds of hugs to give Clay being the last and he told me and Jax to sit on either side of him.
"I need Jax, Bobby and Ronnie to make a run tonight." Clay said as soon as Jax and I sat down. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.
"What's going on?" Bobby asked before any of us else could.
"Just got word that some NORD shit is about to hit the fan up Stockton, We need to get Otto somewhere safe. Ronnie, this is where you come in. You need to convince them that Otto can be transferred to the infirmary, or solitare, somewhere safe until we can get this NORD shit sorted out.
"Jax, I need you to get the words to Otto while Ronnie is working her magic. Let him know what's going down and what the game plan is." Clay instructed sternly but they all understood why. Otto was one of the Original Nine. He needed to be protected and kept safe.
"Bobby, you stick to her like glue." Clay said pointing over to me. I started to rack my brain on different ways to get this executed. "Bobby, run her home so she can get her car, no lawyer is rolling up the prison this late at night on a bike." Clay said and there was truth in all of it, I was just thinking the same thing. I could tell Jax wanted to interject but knew that Clay kept him behind for a reason.
I took off with Bobby and we made it back to dad's in no time, I changed and got into my car. As we hit open road, I was immediately flanked. Bobby to my right and Jax to the left of my car. It felt natural to have them there, even though this was a first for me.
We arrived at the prison and got our passes.
"Ms. Seglar, the Warnden is waiting for you, Mr. Teller if you will follow this guard, he will take you into to see your prisoner." We were instructed and as much as I didn't want to be separated from Jax, I knew he could take care of himself and that I would have Bobby with me and I would be okay.
We were walked down several hallways and up some stairs until we came to a double door office entry way.
"Remember the plan." I whispered as we were escorted in.
"Warden, I'm Veronica Seglar, Otto's new attorney, thank you for meeting with us at such a late hour." I said shaking his hand. "This is my para legal, Robert." I could tell Bobby was hesitant to shake the hand of the man who was basically the devil to him, but he did it anyway.
"It's nice to meet you Ms. Seglar. I am being told you need to talk about transferring Otto for some testing?" The Warden asked as if it were mission impossible.
"Yes, And I have the court order if you need to see it, Otto on his last medical exam here, exhibited several signs of PMD and depression. The doctor here, your doctor has order some psych evaluations and some other mental health tests, but we need to move Otto tonight to either the infirmary tonight so that he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else." I said being very confident about what I was saying, and it looked promising. I handed over the court documents that I was able to dig up, he looked them over and then signed them.
"Okay I will have him transferred as soon as we are done here, but I have to warn you, this court document states that it's only a 72 hour hold, unless tests show that he is needs to be transferred to a mental health prison, but that could take up to a week, he would remain in the infirmary until his transfer, just want to make sure we all understand each other." The warned giving me back my copy of the court documents. I nodded in agreence, and got up to shake his hand.
"Please have your doctor fax or email the test results as they are available." I said handing him my business card. I used the fax number from Teller-Morrow, being that I hadn't had time to set up a office yet.
"Thank you and might I say it was a real pleasure you meet you Ms. Segalr." The Warden's creepy tone and smile made me want to shower with Bleach but I knew I had to play my part so I smiled and flirted back.
We were walked out, and met back up with Jax in the parking lot. We filled him in and headed back to Charming. I was tired again, and needed to sleep. Bobby and Jax both flanked the car again as soon as we hit open road. It took us a couple of hours but we get back to the club house and went into the club house.
I was greeted with whistles and cat calls, I almost forgot I was in a form fitting suit.
"Fuck off." I said while yawning.
"So, how did it go?" Clay asked coming out from the room.
"They are moving him to the infirmary for the next 72 hours for psych testing per court order. So you have 72 hours to work out whatever it is that you need to, unless Otto is capable of convincing them he is not mentally stable then he will be put back in general population where he was." I said plopping down in a chair at one of the tables, I kicked off my heal and started to rub my feet.
"What do you mean if he can convince him?" Juice asked the obvious question.
"Well if Otto can convince them of real mental illness, he will be transferred to a lower security mental health facility and with a little therapy be back out in the world with the rest of us." I said smiling knowing that not one of them had consider as an option.
"You mean Otto could be coming home?" Clay asked in disableif.
"Yeah, he pulls an Oscar performance he will be home this time next year. I said back as they all seemed dumbfounded. "I told you…I am impressive." I said winking at Clay.
"This calls for a beer!" Bobby shouted behind the bar. Every one cheered and headed for the bar. A few minutes later Juice came over with a beer for me and sat down.
"Thanks Juice." I said smiling genuinely happy about the beer.
"That was pretty awesome shit you pulled up at the prison, sounds like we are gonna get Otto back soon, that's awesome." Juice said as we toasted out beer bottles and then took a drink.
"Can I ask you something?" Juice asked as I was trying to relax.
"What's up?" I said taking a another drink.
"Are you and Jax…you know, have you guys ever…" He asked embarrassed to say the words.
"Me and Jackson Teller? Wow…um, no…the last time I was home here in Charming, I was 9. And I hated boys in that way. Besides, from what I hear, Jax is more and more like his father than he knows…more woman than an episode taping of Oprah." I said making Juice laugh.
"Do you have…you know a…boyfriend?" Juice suddenly went from grown biker man, to blushing and nervous little boy. I was shocked and flattered.
"Uh, no I don't, but that is by choice. Hey, I wanted to say sorry about the other night at Gemma and Clay's. I will forever be 9 in their eyes, and still no one will ever be good enough." I said hoping he understood that it wasn't him, it was the situation and the fact that I wasn't looking for anything.
"I get it, it's nothing either of us can do about it. Jax is the VP and Prince around here and he gets first dibs…" Juice said and then shut up.
"Juice, you have a lot to learn about Jax Teller, and apparently so do I, but there is one thing I do know, is I am the FURTHEST things from Jax's type as they come." I said winking at him and he smiled. I suddenly thought of Gia in my mind, and made a mental note that they would be a cute couple, if she ever retired.
Juice and I talked a little more and I started to say my goodbye, I was beat and I just wanted to sleep.
"I'll take you home." Jax offered.
"Thanks, but I think I will be okay. I will call from my fancy new phone to let you know what I get there and that I am safe." I said giving hugs to the boys and saying good night.
"See ya tomorrow." They all yelled and I waved as I headed out to my car and got in. I just wanted to get out of the suit and sleep. I made it home fine and texted Jax and Clay that I was home safe and would see them tomorrow. I passed out immediately.
