Seven Days of Spring Break by ELLE


Friday | Day Seven | Heero Shoots Skeet, Plays Tag, and Makes Out at the Drive-in


Heero was both apprehensive and enthusiastic when he woke up the next morning. Of course he wanted to see Duo, but he wondered if anything could possibly top the day they had yesterday and he wondered if maybe it would be better just to quit while he was ahead. Admit that yesterday was the best he could do and anything else would just go downhill from there and fuck but he didn't want that. All he wanted was that one perfect day, that one perfect moment in the forest when they held each other and kissed and he'd never felt better in his whole entire life. What could trump that?

And if anything could, did he really want to know about it? It was going to be difficult enough to go home and start studying for finals, finish his thesis, prepare himself for his first year of law school. He knew this brief reprieve would haunt him for a long time, if not maybe the rest of his life. Duo was about to become a big fat 'what if' that eclipsed all other 'what ifs' and Heero had never learned to cope with the other one. It still occupied his thoughts thirteen years later.

In his short life Heero had learned one fundamental thing about himself – he had a very difficult time accepting that which was beyond his control.

He met Quatre downstairs, as had been their routine, and Quatre smiled enthusiastically at him.

"I can't believe you broke Alex's nose!" he announced with a laugh and Heero shrugged, uncomfortable.

"He was being a dick," Heero shot back defensively, but then softened his position. "I didn't mean to break it."

"About time someone did," Quatre admitted. "Trant was bad for a while but he grudgingly accepted Duo over time. Alex never really did. Guess he never got over high school football rivalries. He was always relegated to running back since Duo was such a stand-out QB."

"High school was nearly four years ago," Heero muttered as he bit into his bagel.

"For people around here, high school was the highlight of their entire lives."

Quatre's blunt statement made Heero feel a bit guilty then. He had spent his life assuming he would leave that boarding school far behind and never think about it again. These people stuck in this town had little to look forward to after high school besides settling down, starting a family, and struggling to find work in an area with no commercial or industrial potential. It really wasn't fair to judge them so harshly.

After their subdued breakfast Quatre took Heero to pick out guns for the impending skeet shooting trip. Apparently Duo had finally relaxed on the secret requirement for the day's activities. Heero was impressed by the rifle collection, despite it not truly being his area of expertise. Milliardo had loved upland hunting and took him on several trips only to become furious when Heero turned out to be a better shot.

Heero helped Quatre get the supplies ready with a bit of reservation. Duo had proven himself thus far to be nothing like Milliardo, but on the other hand Heero had yet to compete directly with him at anything. He refused to play down his talents for another man's ego and wasn't sure how Duo would handle it if Heero was a better shot than him. He wondered if this really was the beginning of the end and yesterday was just one lovely pinnacle moment that could never be matched. If today would just be a slow decline into depressing reality.

He tried not to be cold when Duo showed up but considering even his amiable personality tended to be aloof and distant he felt that he was failing.

"Have ya ever shot skeet before?" Duo asked as he bumped his shoulder into him playfully, helping carry the supplies out to his truck.

"No. Just some wing shooting a few years back." Heero waved shortly at Wufei who was in the driver's seat of a Mazda 3 after they had everything loaded. Sally was in the passenger's seat with Trowa in the back.

"I'm sure you'll be great at it," Duo enthused and that made Heero feel a little better. Duo seemed to want him to be good at the things he was interested in. Not that it mattered, Heero thought darkly. He was leaving tomorrow.

They climbed into the truck with Heero in the middle again and he tried not to let the sinking feeling in his chest affect Duo and Quatre's good mood. He felt a sense of foreboding not unlike the fateful morning he was unceremoniously dumped on his grandfather's steps. Not unlike the moment he looked at his caller ID and saw the lawyer's number three months ago. This was it. The last time he would sit next to him. He wondered that it felt a bit like death – the death of something that could never be. Perhaps like his baby sister – should've been aborted before it even had a chance to live rather than allowed to grow into some frightening mass that would rip apart everything surrounding it in the throes of its death.

The morbid thought and the horrific images it brought to mind made him feel nauseous and suddenly he wished he was damn near anywhere but stuck between two men he lusted after at one point or another in a vehicle that was growing unbearably hot with each passing moment. Duo placed a hand on his thigh and Heero looked up morosely, unable to meet his smile with anything but a frown. And though Duo's smile wavered, it was only for a second, and he removed his hand to give Heero his space.

Thankfully, Duo and Quatre kept up a rambling conversation though Heero didn't have the slightest clue what it was about when they pulled up to the range. He couldn't get out of the car soon enough and when he was finally out he stood off to the side, feigning an interest in the landscape as Quatre greeted the others and they started unloading the equipment. He wanted to smack himself as he breathed in deep, trying to get his shit together. This day was quickly going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy if he didn't.

With a weary sigh of resignation, he turned to join his new friends and found Wufei explaining that he and Sally would share his 25 rounds so they could have a squad – much to everyone's amusement. Duo elbowed her in the shoulder.

"He must really wanna keep ya," he teased playfully and Sally laughed. "Dancing and sharing his rounds..."

"Duo – !" Wufei warned coolly but Duo just threw a box of shots at him, pegging him square on the head, before yelping gleefully and running off to the entrance to sign them up for a station to avoid Wufei's wrath.

"We really don't mind having six," Quatre was saying as he picked up the fallen box and Wufei's glare softened as it turned from Duo to Quatre.

"And I really don't mind sharing with Sally," Wufei returned and she seemed pleased so Quatre didn't argue.

It wasn't crowded on a late Friday morning – in fact they were one of two groups, or "squads" as Heero learned the term, on the range. Wufei agreed to go first and then Quatre, stating he didn't want to follow Duo or Trowa who were apparently very good shots, and Heero agreed to go last so that he could observe as he'd never done this before. Duo quickly decided he'd rather follow Trowa and so their order was settled.

Wufei stepped up to the first station confidently and positioned himself. When he was ready, he yelled "pull!" and a disc ejected from the high house behind him and Wufei shot it perfectly. Immediately he called "pull!" again and a disc shot from the low house across from him and exploded on impact. He reloaded, repositioned, and called for one final pull and two discs came then, one from each house, and he hit the high shot but missed the low. He grimaced in irritation but Sally smiled at him and kissed his cheek, explaining that it had been a while since he'd shot anything – which lead to a host of inappropriate comments from Duo to drag his mind away from the miss.

Quatre stepped up and missed his very first disc but laughed off the failure, stating that his inaptitude for the activity was why he wanted to go first to begin with. But he hit his next three targets flawlessly. Both Trowa and Duo hit all four and Heero immediately could tell why as he studied their stances. Not that he needed any particular excuse to study Duo's stance but he took in the broad back and confident positioning with a flicker of lust. His big hands rested easily, almost delicately, on the gun as he held it up to his face and not the other way around. He could tell the gun tracked with his eyes as he followed the path the disc would take before hollering for the pull. Duo called quickly for the next, his whole manner perfectly efficient as he reloaded, repositioned himself, and immediately called for the double.

The friendly banter was slowly loosening Heero up and Duo's jubilant fist pump when he shot all four targets successfully seemed to juxtapose the serious nature with which he approached the task. It made Heero's lips quirk up to see the change overcome him and the wide grin on his face as he turned to Heero.

"Your turn, buddy!" He clapped a hand on Heero's shoulder and Heero regarded him with nonchalant indifference. Although it had been a while since he shot, he loaded his Over/Under with practiced confidence and stepped up to the station, imitating the way he saw Duo stand. He took an extra moment to get the feel of the gun in his hands, letting the memories of shooting pheasant in upstate New York wash over him.

He envisioned the shot before called "pull," so when the disc came he hit it dead on and he heard Duo cheer. He hit the disc from the low box and both doubles with the same calm precision and turned to see the excited smiles of the others greeting him upon completion of the station.

"You have really never done this before, Heero?" Quatre asked curiously and Heero curtly shook his head.

"Well, you're a damn good shot or you got some serious luck there," Duo joked and then rubbed his shoulder up against Heero much to his surprise. He pulled away in confusion. "Don't wanna rub any of your luck off on me, eh?" He wiggled his eyebrows and the look on his face coupled with the ridiculous superstition was so preposterous to him that Heero found himself chuckling. Duo flashed a winning smile and they stepped over to station two for the next set of shots.

They continued on and everyone became more and more impressed as Heero didn't miss a single shot. Trowa just barely missed his high shot on station seven's doubles and Duo missed his doubles completely on station eight, but Heero knew that was entirely his fault and they let Duo reshoot, mostly out of amusement.

Duo had been flirting shamelessly with him the whole time but was completely unable to distract him despite trying his damnedest. If there was one thing Heero had, it was single-minded focus and he was able to block everything out when he concentrated on the shot. But Duo, he learned after finally getting up the guts to try retaliation, did not have the same skill. Catching Heero's eye from across the range Duo blew him a playful kiss and readied himself for the shot. But right before he yelled "pull," his eyes darted back to Heero who offered a lusty look in return, stroked up the barrel of his gun, then closed his fist around it, palming it up and down. Duo called weakly for the pull but wasn't able to drag his eyes from the vision – and his friends weren't able to drag their eyes from the sight of Duo bombing the shot completely. By the time they turned to look in Heero's direction he was wearing his usual blank stare and rebuffed their curiosity with an affronted scowl.

"So, is there anything you're bad at?" Duo asked as he sidled up to them while they started packing up the equipment.

A twinge of nervousness squeezed Heero's heart but he tried not to think of Milliardo and he tried to remain passive. "Sure." But then added dryly, "Literary analysis."

Duo stared at him a moment and then laughed. "You know, I'll tell you a secret." His voice was low and conspiratorial. "I planned these activities so you would have fun, but also so that I would stand out, ya know, 'cause I'm good at all of 'em." A faint blush colored his cheeks at the confession and he dropped his eyes to stare at the gun case in his hands. "I didn't expect you to stand out to me."

Heero felt something slip within him and he didn't know what to say. He never really understood what had attracted Milliardo to him and certainly they never discussed it like this. And it was the first moment where he thought – maybe this would be difficult for Duo. Maybe Duo would miss him when he was gone. Maybe he was a 'what if' for the other man too.

"I..." He wanted to say something cheesy like, 'you stood out to me the moment I saw you,' but it felt weird and the words caught in his mouth and he found he couldn't say anything at all.

"You'd be a real catch," Duo offered with a strained smile before he moved away quickly, giving Heero no chance to respond – though he had no idea what he would've said anyway. Heero was left watching him as he bumped into Quatre and started up a conversation.

"We are not meant to be alone, Heero."

The words haunted him, twisted in his heart and made it hurt more than ever before. He had accepted his loneliness, accepted his pain, accepted it to the point where he no longer thought about it, no longer dwelt on it, no longer wanted anything more from his life.

"Promise me you'll find someone to share your life with."

What kind of promise was that to make? He agreed as it was the last wish of a dying man he respected more than any other man on the planet but it was unfair, unconscionable that someone would ask that of him. As if one could just go out and pick up a life partner like a head of lettuce at the grocery store. Ridiculous. What if he couldn't keep that promise? What if he never found that person? What if that person was worlds away? What was he supposed to do then? Give up his perfectly premeditated life over a week of infatuation? That was ludicrous.

Heero blocked off his thoughts and joined the others. Quatre had apparently invited himself into Wufei's car for the return trip and that left Heero with a vague sense of dread. What was he going to say to him? What could he possibly say?

He sat in the truck and Duo said something about a burger joint and lunch but Heero didn't really hear him. He stared pointedly at his hands, like if he focused on himself then maybe the truck, Duo, the whole goddamned South would just disappear and he would be alone in his apartment again, where he should be, where he wouldn't get hurt by memories or feelings or meeting new people who hit you like lightening and seared through you with the intensity of their presence.

He shouldn't be here. He didn't even know why he had agreed to come.

The uncomfortable silence stretched on between them and Heero let it. He could ride out any level of discomfort as if it were a personal challenge. In fact he started to get angry. Duo wasn't making this situation any easier by saying things like that. It wasn't fair. He was being selfish. He should've just kept the comment to himself and let Heero live in ignorance, thinking he had misinterpreted Duo's actions as genuine affection.

"Look, whatever I said, I'm sorry," Duo finally offered and Heero turned hard eyes towards him. He really didn't know? "We were having a good time, I thought, you know? I don't know if you just don't know how to take a compliment or if I actually offended you somehow but –"

"I don't want to do this," Heero spoke simply just to get Duo to stop. He wanted the uncomfortable silence back.

Duo paused for a minute and looked over at him. "Do what?"

"This." Realizing that word wasn't going to be enough to stop Duo's inquiries he elaborated quickly. "I don't do things like this. I don't want to know how little I meant."

"Uh, okay." Duo sounded legitimately perplexed, if not a little pissed. "Not sure how you came to that conclusion."

"Because you're so damned nonchalant."

The words were punctuated by anger and it surprised them both to a degree. Duo took his time in responding. Heero was terrified of what he would say, what lie he might tell to smooth things over, what he thought he would have to say to pacify him.

"We don't have to do 'this' to have a good time," he said at last and it threw Heero for a minute. He was expecting some fakery about 'oh if only things were different' but Duo was straight to the point.

Heero grunted a reply that clearly indicated his inability to accept that answer and he attempted not to roll his eyes.

"I don't really know what fucked you up man, but this life is just a moment, and this moment between us is totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things so why can't it be a good one?"

Heero went back to staring at his hands. Duo blew out a sigh that probably ruffled his bangs but Heero didn't look.

"What do you want me to say? You're hot, you give amazing head, you're great at the shit I'm great at, and I like you, I like you a fuckin' lot. What, do you want me to say that if things were different we'd have a shot or some shit? Because they're not different and there's no point in dwelling on that." His tone was harsh, frustrated. Heero felt guilty. Despite how it may have appeared, he didn't really want Duo to be forced to feel his suffering too.

He tightened his hands into fists. He stared at the way they trembled slightly. He wanted to click his heels and go home. Just like in the movie with the lion with no courage and the scarecrow with no heart. But he couldn't. It didn't work like that. He was stuck here. And maybe, if he was stuck there, he was going to be stuck there with no courage and no heart too.

The heart of a lion? Yeah, fucking right. He couldn't live up to his name. He didn't have the heart of a lion – he had the heart of a coward and it ached in his chest as he thought about losing these tiny moments of happiness he found here.

"You can't just avoid me by not talking." Initially he was sharp, but Duo's words softened almost immediately. "What are you thinking?"

"I..." Fuck but where was he supposed to start? He was never taught how to deal with this, never taught how to forgive, how to accept the things he couldn't change, how to enjoy the moment, anything. This whole week he'd been taking advice from a dead man, desperately trying to apply wisps of memories to actual situations just to make it through. He needed more than that. He was a goddamned adult. He didn't need to be piecing this shit together from a man he just met and a handful of faulty memories.

"When you think of her, she'll be there with you. She'll be there to guide you."

But she wouldn't. She couldn't. He didn't remember anything she said. All he could remember... All he could remember was the way she held his hand, the way she would set him in her lap and ruffle her hands through his hair, each stroke soothing and yet playful, making him feel wonderful to have her undivided attention. He remembered her smile but not the way it looked, just the way it seemed to light up any room and she would smile like that at him and he seemed to be the center of the universe then. And he remembered – she was happy. Nothing on the surface, no, she was an imperturbable picture f calm. No matter what his father threw at her, what hell he rained down on her, she absorbed it or let it slide off like water. No, her happiness was deeper than that. Something way down in her core. She was at peace with herself and her life and she was happy.

And though his hands blurred before his eyes as he straightened them out on his knees, they no longer trembled. He understood. She was guiding him, then, her memory – fleeting, transient, temporary – her life was just a moment but during the time she was there she was happy even in spite of his father's wrath and he remembered that. And he remembered that he had been happy too.

"I – I think I understand." And he reached out then, leaning far over the seat and stroking a hand across Duo's bangs, tucking them back behind his ear, thinking of the tiny moment of happiness encapsulated in that gesture, when he was just a boy and his mother was still alive and he never had doubted that she always would be. He hoped perhaps he could share just how happy that made him with a boy who never had a mother to offer such comfort.

And he understood then, in some ways, why this was so much easier for Duo, but the thought made him ache. Duo had never had that type of love and stability. Every day he woke up uncertain, unsure of the world and his place in it. How was he supposed to live for longer than a moment?

No, he didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow. He didn't know how he was going to feel or what he was going to do or even who he was going to meet. But he had a choice. And just as she chose to slip through life as smooth as silk, he could chose in this moment to be happy. To let it go. To enjoy this brief respite from his lonely life and relish in the company of a man who genuinely liked him and wanted him to be happy. He'd said it so many times, but Heero just hadn't been listening.

He let his knuckles fall across Duo's cheek and down his arm until his hand landed on the seat and he drew it away. But before it made it back to his knee, Duo had grabbed it and squeezed it tight, an apology for his earlier frustration immediately offered in that one grasp.

"I do want to be happy," Heero whispered as he stared at their hands, interlocked. It was the fallout, the morning after, the emptiness that gapped like a black hole in his heart when that happiness was taken away that he didn't want to deal with.

"Sometimes it's easier to be sad," Duo reflected seriously and Heero bit his cheek, knowing that Duo wasn't just humoring him but was speaking from personal experience. Still, he wondered how Duo had reached into his mind and pulled the thought out. "But what's the point of life if ya never have any fun? Never let yourself have any happiness?"

Heero sat quietly as he thought about that. He'd never given much thought to happiness or whether or not it was required in his life and still he'd thought his life was fine. Yes, a fine series of well-calculated decisions to afford him the most successful outcome he could imagine – a well-paying job with privilege and prestige. He assumed that would make him happy, or at least give him a sense of fulfillment... but now, now that he met Duo, he wasn't so sure.

He squeezed Duo's hand then as he stared out the window, watching the landscape become vaguely more familiar. There was a certain comfort to be found in that companionship... He didn't know if that was 'the point of life,' so to speak, but it was undeniable.

They didn't need to say anything else and it wasn't long until they pulled up to a mock 1940s soda shop establishment. They decided to sit at the counter since the booths didn't support groups of six very easily and Heero sat between Duo and Wufei – which immediately put him in the literal middle of an argument about whether it was accurate to call it a malt shop or not since they did, in fact, serve malts. Quatre effectively ended the argument when Heero's lips finally betrayed his friend and quirked upwards after watching the blonde strategically slipping straws into Duo's braid like some kind of reverse Jenga.

Duo blushed brilliantly when the waitress took their order as he was still pulling straws from his braid. Heero helped get the few he couldn't reach and the feeling of his hair under his fingertips made Heero want to unwind it and rake his hands through it, caress it against his skin the way Milliardo never let him. But then he was embarrassed of his thoughts, realizing it was presumptuous to think Duo would let him touch it any more than Milliardo had.

Then he thought of how eager Duo was to kiss him, how happy it made him, pressed up against him under the canopy of trees, lips against lips, tongues teasing... That freely given intimate touch nearly eclipsed the pleasure of those same lips on his dick. He thought of what Duo said, about allowing himself to be happy, and he watched him out of the corner of his eye. Every part of him just wanted to grab Duo by the collar and kiss him desperately but simultaneously begged him to just walk out before he threw caution to the wind and gave in to that desire.

Kissing Duo was thrilling, yes, but the happiness it gave him was incomparable to the thrill. And while he understood on an intellectual level what Duo meant about letting himself have this moment, he was scared. Scared of how happy it made him. Scared to let himself feel it only to have to leave it all behind tomorrow. He'd been protecting himself from that pain for so long... That carefully barricaded door wasn't so easily opened.

Suddenly Duo's fingers were on his arm and he looked up. When his eyes met Duo's it was like all the background noise of the restaurant faded into crashing waves and it was all he could do not to drown in the beautiful blue ocean of his eyes.

He noted the subtle intake of breath and Duo shifted back under the intensity of his stare. Those delicious lips parted and Heero was sure they both thought he was going to kiss Duo – but he didn't. Instead, his own lips parted to breathe his name as a question.

"I..." Duo responded quickly but had to regain his composure at the way Heero murmured his name. "Is it okay if we don't go back with Q? I got somethin' I wanna show ya."

The things he wanted Duo to show him immediately crowded his muddled mind and he nodded, feeling a bit ashamed of his impropriety.

They put money down on the counter to cover their meals and left their friends to finish up. Duo shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked down the street a ways, and Heero observed the tacky tourist shops on the short stretch of town with barely veiled suspicion. He sure didn't want Duo to show him anything of that nature. But when considering the rest of the week, he had to trust that whatever it was, it would be good.

Heero was still somewhat surprised when they wandered into a bakery. He eyed Duo as he chatted it up with the woman behind the counter and stared into the long glass case of different pastries and cupcakes.

He started picking out cupcakes layered in ridiculous amounts of multicolored frosting and intricate decoration. Duo asked if he'd like to choose one but Heero could only stare at the case blankly. He was completely at a loss of what to select and not knowing the intention behind his choice didn't help. Of course, he realized how silly that sounded but he'd never had an opportunity like this before and he wanted to make an appropriate selection. He needed parameters.

Then he felt Duo's fingers brush the back of his hand. "Difficult choice, huh?" Duo had no idea. He swallowed hard and glanced at the other man. Duo himself was a much easier choice to make, Heero realized sullenly.

"The key lime ones are really good," Duo offered helpfully, turning his eyes back to the case. "Oh, or the caramel!"

Heero stared at the one his finger was pointing to and he noticed how it was topped with miniature marshmallows and the memory of kissing him, drunk and high and so damned happy, made the selection easy despite the fact he didn't much care for caramel or marshmallows.

They headed back to the truck with the treats boxed and tucked away safely under Duo's arm. Once they were in the pick-up, Heero wanted to kiss him. Wanted to grab his hand and pull him in deep. Drink in his intoxicating taste with eager lips. But instead he sat paralyzed by fear, unsure how to get back the part of him that stroked his gun like a stiff dick to tease the other man.

As they pulled away he noticed how Duo's hand drummed anxiously on the steering wheel, how he fiddled with the radio several times before just turning it off, and perplexed by this unusual behavior Heero found himself nearly curious enough to ask what was wrong when Duo glanced in his direction.

"Why do you want to be a child advocate?"

Heero blinked, surprised by the question but understanding a little better Duo's apprehension. Despite how much time they spent together this week, Heero rarely talked about himself or his life. In fact, he didn't do much talking at all in favor of letting the others carry the conversation. It was just how he was. He was sure Duo was expecting some ramification to such a personal question.

Heero gathered his thoughts before offering his explanation.

"When I was a child, there was no one to speak up for me, to help me get what I wanted. I probably could have gone to live with my grandfather instead of the boarding school, but..." He paused. He had never admitted these things to anyone and the words were starting to stick in his throat. "I was too scared of my father to say anything." His voice trailed off into nothing and he turned his eyes from the windshield to the side window, hiding his face from Duo's sight.

"Did he hit you?" The strained whisper surprised Heero a little and he almost hated to deny Duo the kinship an affirmative would've created.

"No, but he was... Explosive. Unpredictable. He..." He didn't know how to explain the expectations levied on him by his demanding and unreasonable father. "The morning of my mother's funeral he caught me crying in my room when he came to see if I was dressed." The confession humiliated him as he remembered how it humiliated his father. He wanted to keep his voice steady, but he struggled. "He grabbed me by the collar and made me change shirts because mine was damp. He told me men didn't cry, that no one wanted to see that, that I was pathetic."

And he still felt pathetic as he remembered the disappointed, seething words falling on his frightened ears. He didn't know how he was going to live with that man now that she was gone. He began to cry even harder but he balled up his wet shirt and sobbed into it to muffle his cries, hidden from his father's view as he stood in the closet.

"But you were young, weren't you?" Duo asked, confused and a little angry at his story.

"I was eight," Heero confirmed, not that it mattered to him. He knew that his father's expectations were unreasonable but the impression was so strong on his psyche he still felt weak and embarrassed and pathetic.

Duo's fingers strained on the steering wheel but he didn't say anything. Heero was glad. Duo couldn't truly understand the complexity of their relationship considering he didn't have a father. Nothing he said would really be valid. Nothing he said would be a comfort.

They pulled into a gravel driveway and Heero appraised the well-maintained ranch with plastic paneled siding sporting a treasure trove of children's toys strewn across the yard with a certain amount of reservation. That reservation turned to fear as one by one, four children ran out from behind the house and smacked their hands into Duo's door, jumping up and down to peek into the truck at him. Heero turned wide eyes to Duo and Duo smiled.

"Don't worry – we brought a peace offering. Remember?" Duo's smile was warm and Heero let it strengthen him as Duo turned and tapped on the window, making a 'shooing' motion with his hand so that he could open his door without knocking back any children.

The children bombarded Duo with questions, eagerly pawing at the box – which he took to holding over his head as he lead Heero up to the porch – where a woman met them with a sweet smile on her face.

"Hey Helen," Duo greeted her as she opened the door. "I brought your favorite – strawberry shortcake."

"Duo," she chided warmly, "you shouldn't have."

They made introductions and she got out lemonade to bring to the porch. Heero learned the children's names were Jodie, Pete, Lyon, and Mikey and based on their ages – seven to ten – as well as their disparate looks, he decided they had to be adopted. Once they were settled on the porch, the fight over which cupcake was whose settled after some lengthy debate, Heero began to relax as Duo asked simple questions of Helen and their conversation was easy. But quicker than Heero would've anticipated the children were done and harassing Duo with requests for attention. Duo flashed Heero a smile that didn't look much like an apology as he stood, planted his hands on his hips, stared down at the children and announced "ready or not...!" before bounded off the porch after them as they ran away screaming.

Helen chuckled and played with the cupcake wrapper for a minute as she watched Jodie spin and twist away from Duo's attempts to tag her.

"Duo's a good kid," she sighed wistfully. Heero arched an eyebrow at that comment, suddenly curious if this woman was perhaps his foster mother.

"If you don't mind my asking," Heero started carefully, his curiosity getting the best of him, "do you have any children of your own?"

"They are all my children." Heero felt embarrassed then but she just turned her eyes to him with a smile. "But no, I have never been able to get pregnant."

"I'm sorry," Heero offered uncertainly but she just shook her head.

"No, it's fine. This was God's plan for us. Although, at the beginning I thought God was punishing me for vanity by giving me two of the most stubborn, headstrong little boys He'd ever made." Helen glanced back across the yard thoughtfully. "I have never regretted it, though. Every child we raised has been a blessing. There are so many who just need love, a second chance..." She sighed. "But there is only so much two people can do."

Heero nodded his head sympathetically but wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't exactly sure why Duo brought him here. If she was his foster mother, why didn't Duo tell him? If she wasn't, then...?

Suddenly he felt a little hand smack him on the shoulder. He turned to look down at Lyon, whose freckled face scrunched up into a smile as he announced, "tag! You're it!" Heero blinked in surprise and he heard Helen start to admonish Lyon for involving someone who clearly didn't want to play but Heero stood instead, staring a bit formidably down at his young opponent before the kid visibly gulped and high tailed it off the porch.

Heero followed him down, mimicking Duo in his faked effort to tag Lyon back. The game went on for another fifteen minutes, Heero actually starting to enjoy the silliness as the kids laughed and tried all kinds of ridiculous stunts to avoid getting tagged, before Duo pushed him hard and he grabbed Duo's braid in retaliation. He pulled him up against his chest despite yelps of protest and, much to his own surprise, tickled him mercilessly. Duo laughed, helpless as the children came up to join in and didn't let up until Heero finally let him go and he flopped down on the grass, exhausted and trying to catch his breath.

They all sat down with him and studied the clouds and searched for four leaf clovers and blew dandelions until Heero was nearly driven mad with his desire for the other man. Although he realized he'd been seeing this nurturing side of Duo all week as Duo sought to comfort him, seeing it like this, external to himself, so blatant and obvious and directed towards children of an age he would've given anything to have someone like Duo in his life... It made Heero ache with the desire to kiss him – thread his fingers through Duo's and press him into that soft grass and kiss his lips until they bruised. All he wanted was to lose himself completely in that wonderful man and he was grateful when Duo decided it was time to go.

His goodbyes took a while and even when they got back to the truck Heero was extremely conscientious about the fact that they were clearly still visible to Helen and the children and he held himself back from the attention he wanted to wrap Duo in. But as soon as they pulled out of the driveway, Duo was explaining his intention as plainly as possible and Heero's desires were cooled instantly.

"Every one of those children is technically a ward of the state," he explained gently. "They got lucky to get Helen. Trust me – I know." Duo sighed, clearly frustrated, and Heero looked to him for an answer.

"Pete's parents both died of meth overdose within a year of each other. Lyon's dad is incarcerated for life and his mom just dumped him on a physically handicapped grandmother one day and left. She wanted to but she couldn't take care of him. Mikey was born addicted to meth. He's pretty normal now, a little slow, ya know, but man... the shit that kid went through." Duo shook his head sadly as he recalled what were clearly painful thoughts.

"And Jodie – makes me fuckin' sick." He swallowed hard and Heero almost didn't want to know what he had to say. "Sexually assaulted by her step-dad for four fuckin' years and her goddamn mother didn't do shit. Didn't do shit until the police finally came 'cause the neighbors reported hearing her screaming something like fifteen fuckin' times before they bothered to come out." Heero felt empty as he thought about what each one of those kids went through and he could see Duo was on the verge of tears.

"Shit like that... I mean, fuck." Heero watched as Duo looked off to the side and wiped a hand across his face. "Makes bein' beat seem like a goddamn cake walk." He composed himself as best as he could while Heero tried to unclench his hands, not even realizing they were balled so tightly they were shaking.

"My only point is, sometimes the child advocate is the first person some of these kids see who actually oughta give a shit about 'em. Not that they usually do, but... You've got emotional compartmentalization down to a fuckin' art." Heero stared, intrigued by that observation and Duo met his eyes for a minute with a look that clearly said, you know it's true. And Heero did. He wasn't going to argue. It was the only way he managed to make it this long without some kind of break down. And this week was threatening to undo every well fought for wall he'd erected.

"So my point is, if you do care, I mean really care about this, about what these kids go through, then you need that. I can't do it – that's why I need forgiveness. An' I can't forgive those fucks. But you... you'd be great at it."

Heero stared down at his knees, suddenly embarrassed and he wasn't sure why because what Duo said wasn't exactly a compliment but it wasn't exactly an insult either. He supposed it was the truth, plain and simple. Before he could think of a reply they were pulling up to Quatre's and he just resigned himself to his thoughts.

Wufei, Sally, and Trowa were there as well and Heero excused himself to go pack after they brought in the guns and skeet shooting equipment, needing a moment to himself despite secretly wishing Duo would have followed him up so he could have some time alone with him before he left. But he supposed that would be too obvious even for Duo and he sighed, trying to stuff his depression back into the box it belonged in.

He spent entirely too much time refolding his clothes, focusing with each piece on piecing himself back together. This was just a moment, he reminded himself, just a moment that would pass quickly enough and he would be home soon and he would be able to digest what happened and apply it to his life and move on just like he always had. Just like he always would.

When he was done he felt a little better and more like himself and he rejoined his friends as they played pool in the basement. It wasn't long however before they were all climbing into the vehicles again and Heero found Duo pulling up to a little ticket counter for what he quickly ascertained was a drive-in movie. They fished out cash for tickets and Duo found a spot away from the concession stand and pulled in backwards so that the bed of the truck faced the big screen. He'd never seen something so strange and antiquated but he understood the idea to be kind of novel and fun. Part of him would rather they were in a dark theater but then he let that wish go and slid out of the truck after Quatre.

Wufei had parked next to them and only about five minutes later Trant pulled up in his own rebel flag bedecked pick-up with Hilde, Cathy, and Otto and Heero felt a small sense of foreboding considering he'd just decked their friend last night. And sure enough Trant and Otto appraised him coolly once they stepped out and Duo tensed beside him in anticipation of an altercation.

"Your friend's got a helluva right hook, I hear," Trant opened, eyes sliding to Quatre and Quatre deflected with a shrug.

"I wouldn't want to find out," the blonde offered then with a pleasant smile and Heero hated that cautious moment of silence that followed as Trant's eyes met his, appraising him, testing him. Duo had tensed even further next to him and his nervous energy was making Heero nervous too.

"Yeah, neither would I," Trant replied after a moment and a smile, though a bit uncomfortable, eased onto his face. The tension immediately drained away and a raucous conversation was started as they headed as a group towards the concession stand.

Duo selected just about everything on the menu for them as far as Heero could tell – corn dogs, nachos, funnel cakes, soda, onion rings, and popcorn – but his amusement at Duo's excitement outweighed his disgust at fried food. The trucks were parked right next to one another and so they split themselves between them, sitting on the edge of the beds to talk and eat.

The sky grew darker and Duo hopped into the cab to open the window to the back and turn on the radio so they could hear the dialog before settling in with Heero in the back. They sat shoulder to shoulder but Duo seemed to be cautious of the space between them and though Heero understood why, he couldn't say it didn't disappoint him. He felt required to follow his lead. But when Duo nudged him with an elbow and hopped back into the cab under the pretext of adjusting the radio, Heero saw his opening and was determined to take it.

Heero slid into the passenger side and moved closer on the bench seat, nervous anticipation building in his stomach but the desire to override his inadequacies and fear fueling him on. This was it – now or never – and if Duo had to be a 'what if,' then Heero was going to make sure he knew exactly what it was he was missing.

"Heero?" Duo's question could barely be heard over the explosions suddenly occurring on the screen they couldn't see and Heero slid his hand onto Duo's thigh. But sudden banging on the window and Hilde's face at the opening, a huge smirk plastered on, startled them right as Heero leaned in to finally seal the deal.

"You two better not be makin' out in there!" she warned with an admonishing finger as the other people in the truck bed tried to shush her.

Heero glared but Duo chuckled and rose his middle finger to her in response, grabbing the back of Heero's head and dragging him in for a heated kiss. Immediately Heero got himself lost in it, his desire for that contact having been denied all day, his body aching for more. His hand didn't move from Duo's thigh and he felt the other man get hard as they kissed. It made his gut twist and his own erection painful and he wanted desperately to just rip open Duo's pants, suck him off, and hear those delicious cries of pleasure once more.

Duo was panting as he let the kiss go and pressed his lips against Heero's ear, causing him to shiver. "Do you wanna get outta here?" he whispered and Heero fought back a moan and forced himself to meet Duo's eyes to gauge his intent. He nodded slightly, wanting nothing more than that.

Without a second's hesitation Duo hit the radio and opened the driver's side door amid cries of protest from the people in his truck.

"Okay, okay, e'rybody out, you gotta find your own way home t'night!" he announced as he hung out the door and shooed everyone out of his truck. Heero sat in disbelief as Duo took all the harassment he got so good-naturedly and he was somewhat thankful the situation wasn't reversed and that he would get to leave tomorrow and not have to live down this moment for the rest of his life in front of his friends. Heero might've felt more tawdry than he did, but then Duo didn't make him feel the way Milliardo had – like a cheap fuck despite being his boyfriend. Duo didn't mind showing him affection in public. Duo wasn't embarrassed to be attracted to him. Duo would –

Heero stopped and swallowed hard as Duo fell back into the seat, flashing him a winning smile as he slammed the door shut and threw the truck into drive.

He knew it without having to think it. Duo would gladly be his boyfriend if Heero lived here.

Duo had given him a quick kiss as they pulled out but they spent the drive in silence and it was pretty dark when they pulled up to what Heero assumed was Duo's house. A light came on as they pulled into the carport and Heero noted the Bronco and the sport bike as well as two other vehicles in some state of dismantling. The place was small with wood siding and built on the side of a mountain so that the property sloped greatly on either side. He heard the dogs barking as they got out of the car and Duo laughed, apologizing as he pet their furry heads and let them inside.

Heero was immediately amazed by all the stuff Duo had. He couldn't think of a better word for it than stuff. He had bookshelves overloaded with books and trinkets and an entire wall of clocks, several gutted and strewn across a table. It was like his entire house was a workstation – or at least the combo living room and dining area. And it seemed everything he owned was repurposed or reused in some way, adding to the eclectic nature of the display.

"What is all this?" Heero asked cautiously.

Duo chuckled as he walked into the kitchen. "I told you – I like to try and fix broken things."

And suddenly, Heero realized with startling clarity, he didn't think Duo was talking about trucks and clocks.

He heard Duo dishing out food for the dogs and saw two cats uncurl from their positions on a weird yellow and pink floral print couch and make their way over to the kitchen.

"Hope you're not allergic to cats!" Duo called and Heero just shook his head absently in response as he stared at a picture of Ella Fitzgerald sitting next to an old turntable. He assumed it worked, although it was sitting on a stack of records. The record on the turntable though was What a Wonderful Duet and Heero almost couldn't help himself, his curiosity was so piqued. He set the record to play and Ella's voice rasped to life, striking him as he remembered his mother softly singing those very same words as she rolled out pie crust and happily floated through the kitchen on the cloud she seemed to drift everywhere on.

"Stars shining bright above you –"

He heard Duo's approach and he turned to look at the man, his heart swelling with long reserved emotion.

"– night breezes seem to whisper, 'I love you' –"

Duo stood next to him, staring at him in the soft light from the kitchen, a hand coming up to rest on his cheek.

"– birds singing in the sycamore tree –"

Duo's thumb stroked across his cheekbone and Heero opened his mouth to speak.

"– dream a little dream of me."

But anything he was going to say was eclipsed by the feeling of lips pressing gently against his and he remembered how it felt when Duo kissed him for the second time, so gently on Quatre's lawn, wet and muddy, and he remembered what he thought then – if only he could find someone who loved the way she did.

"When you remember the way she made you feel, she'll be there with you. She'll still be there to love you."

He just had to find a person who loved like her, who made him feel as she did. Warm. Safe. Protected.

Loved.

And Duo made him feel loved. And not only did Duo make him feel loved, he made him feel love too. Made him return that feeling tenfold in ways he didn't even realize he could feel. He brought a hand to rest over Duo's and the gentleness of the kiss was almost more than he could stand. It was too close, too intimate, too much like what he wanted for the rest of his life and he pulled away and stopped the record before the words could become painful. He couldn't do that. He couldn't linger on, no matter how he might crave that kiss. Not when he knew exactly what the dawn would bring.

"Come on," Duo whispered as their hands fell and he tugged Heero's gently, leading him back into the master bedroom. It was a bit of a respite from the rest of the house despite being packed with books, too. They sat down on the bed together and Duo kissed him again, fingers slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt.

Heero kissed back, with less surety than he had in the car, until Duo slipped his hands underneath his button up and across his pecs, fingers running across hard nipples and making him hiss with pleasure, the thin undershirt heightening the sensation. He found his own hands working the buttons on Duo's flannel as their kiss intensified and he longed to feel Duo's skin underneath his own.

His fingers tugged Duo's ribbed tank up out of his pants and ran up underneath it, meeting the smooth, hard flesh it hid and Duo groaned, breaking the kiss to push him back further on the bed so he could straddle him. Heero took the opportunity to push off the flannel before Duo's hands locked onto the side of his head and he reinitiated the kiss, deepening it further. Emboldened by Duo's obvious desire he pushed up the light shirt and broke the kiss once more to lick and bite at Duo's nipples. He loved the way Duo's hips jerked and his fingers tugged at his hair and Heero kissed across his chest, hands sliding down his back to grab his ass as Duo recovered and buried his face in his neck, lavishing wet, open-mouthed kisses on it.

Heero was already getting impatient for more but he forced himself to slow down and appreciate the moment. Only a moment, he reminded himself. The dawn might come but he felt this moment – this moment would linger on, in his heart and in his memory forever.

Duo pushed him back and they rolled on the bed, undressing each other slowly, piece by piece, pressing kisses to each new expanse of exposed flesh until Heero was on his back, panting, as Duo kissed his thighs, teasing him, making Heero feel desperate with anticipation, the buildup so intense. But instead of getting the friction he wanted, Duo was smirking over him, leaning down and kissing him, moving to breathe a hot whisper in his ear.

"You have a preference? Top or bottom?"

Heero blinked, derailed despite the teeth nipping his ear and sending shivers down his spine. He'd never really considered it as it'd been so long since he'd been in a position with a choice. "You would let me...?"

Duo backed up and stared down at him. "Yeah, why not? Have you never topped before?"

"No, I have," Heero clarified quickly, "I just – Milliardo never –"

Duo's laughter interrupted his already embarrassing confession of his ex's rather specific demands and he fought back a blush.

"Who?" Duo asked, clearly incredulous.

"Milliardo," Heero repeated uncomfortably.

"Wow – is that an ex or something?"

Heero nodded, not really wanting to talk about him despite having brought him up.

"Fuck, no wonder you're depressed. Your mom's dead, your dad's a dick, and your ex's name is Milliardo. Damn but the nicknames I could come up with for that one..."

He tried to turn away but Duo locked his hands on his head and leaned in close, forcing Heero to look at him.

"Listen to me, 'Ro," he said seriously, with such an intensity it made Heero feel even more naked than he already was. "You deserve someone who is so mad fucking crazy in love with you they don't care about top, bottom, sideways, whatever. You deserve someone who wants to make you happy, who just wants to be with you, no matter what that takes."

"Duo," Heero pleaded, wishing he'd just shut up. He had no expectation that a person like that even existed and if they did then in less than sixteen hours he'd be on a plane traveling nine hundred miles away from him.

But Duo just smiled and ran his fingers up Heero's side, nuzzling his nose against his cheek.

"I want you to fuck me," he murmured, lips brushing his ear, making Heero moan.

All thoughts of anything other than those six words flew from his mind as he flipped Duo over so that he was on top and Duo grinned up at him, stroking his face and his chest and his arms and staring at him as if he was trying to memorize every inch of him. But after a moment he opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out lube and a condom, opening it and kissing Heero deeply as he slid it on him. The sensation of Duo's fingers made his breath catch. He grabbed the lube and mustered up his self-confidence, having only done this a handful of times before with his first real fling the summer after boarding school. But then, he knew quite a few things not to do from being on the receiving end of Milliardo's desire.

He went down on Duo, teasing his tongue along his head as he prepped him carefully. The way Duo's fingers tugged his hair and the way he moaned made Heero impatient. He was trying to be careful when Duo grabbed his hair hard and gasped at him to stop. Heero froze and looked up at him in concern but Duo just smiled sheepishly.

"You're too good at that," Duo confessed and Heero took that as permission to move forward. He positioning himself carefully underneath him, holding Duo's hips steady, and he bit down on his lower lip as Duo's warmth engulfed him. As he paused to catch his breath, he stared down at the other man, hardly able to believe that this handsome man was underneath him, allowing him the privilege of fucking him.

He began to move, fingers tightening their grip on his hips, and Duo writhed under him, pressing his knees into his sides and forcing him closer with every forward thrust. Duo tilted his hips up and Heero leaned forward, digging his hands into the sheets as he thrust downward into Duo.

"Fuck, 'Ro, there," he growled and Heero worked hard to maintain his pace as Duo's groans threatened to disrupt his rhythm.

He tried to reach a hand up to help him out but Duo grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop but begging him to keep going, moaning how close he was, how good it felt, how he just needed one more thrust – and then he was over the edge with a breathless shudder. His whole body seeming to constrict underneath Heero as cum coated their stomachs and Heero pressed his forehead against Duo's, hard, sweat slicking him as he drove his hips forward jerkily, thrusting a few more times before he found his release in that hot body coming down from its own climax.

Before he could even catch his breath Duo was cradling his head in his hands and kissing him thoroughly, bodies pressing together and uncoiling as their lips became lazy.

"I've never," Duo mumbled out without moving his face from its position flush against Heero's. "I mean, not like that. I knew it was possible but... Fuck."

Heero let himself chuckle against those lips. He wondered what it felt like. In all his time bottoming, he'd always needed some kind of stimulation to get off. But then, Milliardo never listened or cared – and at a certain point, Heero stopped caring too.

The thought threatened to ruin his moment so Heero focused on memorizing Duo's lips until he felt better. And having successfully banished Milliardo from his mind as he sated himself on Duo, he made his way to the bathroom. He began the task of cleaning himself off but allowed himself a small, self-satisfied smirk in the mirror and a pat on the back. Despite not really being the type to engage in one night stands, he knew he couldn't regret this and he felt proud of himself for being a successful lover. In fact, he guessed Duo couldn't keep his hands off him, because he came up after a moment and took the washcloth from him, kissing his shoulders and his chest as he wiped away his own cum from Heero's body. Heero reciprocated, the strange and humble connection he felt from the post-coital intimacy filling him with contentment.

They fell back into bed together and Duo cradled Heero against his chest, stroking his hair slowly as they listened to insects chirping outside with an ungodly loudness until rain began a slow patter on the rooftop. Duo sighed and commented that he was glad they weren't still at the drive-in. Heero snuggled himself in closer to Duo, burying his head in the comfort of Duo's neck as he nodded his agreement.

He was more than glad they weren't at the drive-in. But as he slipped into sleep he found himself wishing that the rain didn't have to come and usher in the death of what wasn't ever meant to be.