Thank you for the reviews, keep them coming, they really do help me! I normally need silence to write but I couldn't help but listen to three songs whilst writing this chapter – Bloodstream by Stateless, Pieces by Red and In My Veins by Andrew Belle. I hope you like it, let me know what you think!
This chapter is dedicated to my girls in The NC! Love you!
"I want you just like you want me." Elena mumbled, looking at Damon deep in the eyes.
"What do you mean?" Damon questioned, becoming slightly concerned.
"I want to drink your blood." she said, her eyes dropping from his.
Damon sat, shocked, pushing himself away from her, confusion growing on his face. This had come out of nowhere, he thought to himself.
"No." he replied to her bluntly.
"Why not?" Elena said, her tone growing angry and upset.
"Because I said so, that's why." Damon said his voice stern.
He stood up and picked his shirt up from the floor, dressing himself. Elena got up off the floor, crossing her arms in front of her chest, in frustration and to cover herself. She couldn't believe he was refusing her, she felt hurt why wouldn't he let her do this? He fed from her, why couldn't she drink from him? Thoughts raced in her mind. Damon chucked her clothes at her, feeling slightly angry that she had even asked this of him.
"I'll wait in the car." he said leaving the changing room.
Elena slumped on the floor, pulling her top over her head. Tears formed in her eyes, he was rejecting her and it was the worst feeling in the world. She pulled her knees into her chest as she sobbed. It felt like she had just offered her heart to someone and they had thrown it back in her face. Was there something wrong with her? she thought. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the thoughts jumbled around in her mind, she sobbed, completely caught off guard and hurt by his reaction, feeling like she wasn't as close to him as she had thought. How could he do this to her? Elena pulled on her jeans, fastening them quickly and wiped the tears from her face. She looked at herself in the mirror, huffing to herself as she tried to regain her composure. She didn't want him to see that he had upset her; afraid he would think she was being childish and stupid. She tied her hair up and collected her belongings from the floor before making her way out to the car.
Elena sat in the car, her stare focused out the side window as Damon drove. He didn't even look at her, his face plain and void of emotions, making it difficult for her to gage what he was thinking. Before she knew it, they were back home. Damon turned off the ignition and sat silently for a minute, keeping his stare out the windscreen. She looked at him; tears building in her eyes as he refused to look at her. It was like he was disgusted that she had asked him. He opened the door and stepped out of the car, walking towards the house, not bothering to open her door for her as he usually would. Elena got out of the car and made her way over to the house, walking past him in a hurry to the bedroom. She walked through the bedroom and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She broke down as soon as the door was shut, her heart aching, thumping in her chest as her cries filled the room. She slid her back down the door, collapsing on the floor, her hand cupping over her mouth to muffle her cries. She hurt so much inside, a lump building in her throat as the anger brewed inside of her. He was all she had, her entire world and he had just pushed her away from him. She felt so confused, she thought this would be something he wanted, something he would be into, how could she have gotten it so wrong? Elena couldn't remember exactly, but she could have sworn that he had actually asked this of her at some point. She threw her head back against the door, frustrated that every time she tried to think of something, think back on their memories, she came up blank, it was like there was a huge hole in her mind. She knew she was with Damon, knew they had been together for a while, that he had helped her get over the loss of her family but she just couldn't pin point any particular experiences or memories other than those of the past two weeks. Have I got long term memory problems? she thought to herself no, it's probably just because you're upset she tried to reassure herself.
Damon walked into the bedroom, seeing the bathroom door closed. He walked over to the door and knocked on it.
"Can you come out here please?" he said softly.
"No, go away." she sobbed.
"Come out here, now." he grew angrier.
"I said no." she said a little louder.
"If you don't come out here, I'm going to break this door down and drag you out." he said in a menacing voice.
Elena hesitated for a few seconds before lifting herself from the floor and opening the door to him.
"What?" she said, sweeping the tears from her cheeks.
"I need you to think about what you're asking me to let you do." he said.
"Oh, because it's such a big deal." she said sarcastically.
"Yeah, it is."
"You feed from me all the time."
"That's different."
"No, it isn't and you know it." she screamed at him.
He started to grow angry, she wasn't listening to him, didn't understand how much of an issue this was for him. She was talking to him like he was a push over, had she forgotten who he was? He thought to himself becoming enraged.
"Go fuck yourself, Damon." she said walking back into the bathroom.
Damon grabbed her by the hair and yanked her into the bedroom. He pulled the chair from the desk and sat it in the middle of the room. He pushed her onto it, resting his hands on top of her thighs, looking her in the eyes.
"Don't move." he compelled her.
Damon walked out of the room, returning a few minutes later with some rope in hand. He took her hands behind the chair and tied her wrists tightly to it. She sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks as the rope dug into her wrists. An angry look formed on her face as he returned to his look to her.
"Don't ever speak to me like that again." he ordered her.
"You're going to sit here for as long as it takes, and think about what you're asking me."
He wiped a tear from her cheek.
"I'm a monster, you don't want to do this, believe me."
Damon walked away from her and closed the bedroom door, making his way into the living room. He rested his hands on the back of the sofa trying to calm himself down, but he couldn't, even he didn't know why it was such a problem. Part of him was screaming inside pull yourself together you pussy, this is what you wanted, you have her completely, she's yours. He tried to let the thoughts dominate his mind but they kept being pushed aside, another side of him taking over. She was falling for him, willing to completely give herself to him and wanted to be truly connected to him in every way, but it was all a lie. The more time he spent with her the more he was beginning to see her for who she was. She was nothing like Katherine, she may look like her, but the similarities ended there. He was falling for the Elena in her and not the Katherine and he couldn't help but feel guilty. You could tell her the truth, if she loves you, she will forgive you, she will understand a voice in him tried to reason and calm him down, but it didn't work. He was becoming enraged with himself, what had she done to him? He thought, he was a monster, she was just meant to be a replacement, something to keep him amused but she had become more than that, she had made him feel and he hated it.
Damon walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a glass of bourbon, swigging at it and closing his eyes as the liquid ran down his throat. He finished the glass quickly, before pouring himself another one. He sipped at it, walking up and down the room becoming more frustrated and angry by the second. He caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror on the wall, tears forming in his eyes slightly as he didn't recognise the monster staring back at him. This was his fault and he didn't know how to fix it.
Elena sat in the chair, sobbing uncontrollably, utterly gobsmacked that he would do this to her. Tears escaped her eyes as she thought over what had happened, desperately trying to understand how she had gotten it wrong. She bit on her lip trying to stop herself from crying but she couldn't, she had never felt like this about someone before, her feelings were so intense and strong and she felt completely heartbroken.
"Why did you have to say something." she screamed to herself.
She couldn't help but blame herself, annoyed at the situation, knowing that if she had kept her feelings to herself then none of this would have happened, everything would have been fine. Another part of her was angry that she was blaming herself, knowing that a huge portion of the blame rested with Damon, who does this to their girlfriend? She thought to herself but then whose boyfriend is a vampire? She counteracted her own argument. Elena could hear him in the other room, becoming angry, shouting and cursing, she couldn't believe he was getting so mad over this, it wasn't really like she was asking him to do anything, it was her that would be doing the drinking, not him, he wouldn't have to do anything, just be a willing participant she thought.
Damon threw the glass at the mirror, smashing it into tiny pieces. He couldn't go on like this, the guilt was too much, he couldn't push it to the back of his mind anymore, couldn't hide his growing feelings for her. He walked over to the mirror and ripped it from the wall, smashing the glass over his knee and throwing the frame to the side. He had so much anger built up inside of him, so much fury that he needed to let it out. He punched his fist into the wall repeatedly, creating holes in the plaster, the walls crumbling slightly from the force of his punches. He screamed at himself, rage bursting from his body as he went crazy. He picked up a table next to the sofa and threw it across the room, moving to the sofa and tipping it over in a fit of rage. He tore the pictures from the walls, beautiful art being chucked onto the fire, ripped apart in his frenzy. He kicked the wall; his foot going through it, making the wall shake.
Elena sat in disbelief, hearing him smashing things in the other room, screams echoing their way into the bedroom. She wanted to cup her hand over her mouth, shock consuming her, but she couldn't. Her lips quivered as tears fell from her eyes, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she had made him like this. Her breathing became rapid as she worked herself up, cries erupting from her mouth again and again as the noises from the other room got louder and louder. She could feel his pain, feel his anger and it was too much. Elena had never seen him like this, something was wrong and she needed to fix it.
Damon stopped suddenly, slouching his back down the wall, taking his hair in his hands, gripping it between his fingers as tears filled his eyes. He bit on his lip, holding them back, refusing to let himself breakdown, he was better than this, stronger than this. He calmed himself, he had to get this thought out of her mind, but he didn't want to compel her to forget it, there had to be another way. He breathed slowly, thoughts racing in his mind. He was a monster he thought to himself so I'll show her how much of a monster I really am.
Damon picked himself up off the floor and walked towards the bedroom. He opened the door slowly, seeing her sitting terrified in front of him. He walked over to her and rested himself on her lap.
"You don't want this." he said yanking her head back by her hair.
She glared up at him, desperately trying not to cry.
"Please."
Damon cut her off.
"And I'm gonna show you why."
Elena looked at him through glazed eyes, seeing his face starting to change. Veins began to pulse under his eyes, his fangs piercing his gums as his eyes turned slightly red. He gritted his teeth to her.
"You see, I'm a monster, why would you want to do this?" he seethed against her face, gripping her hair tightly.
He tightened his grasp of her making her whimper.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to control myself? I want to rip your throat out every minute of every day." he shouted in her face.
"You're not a monster, Damon." she said a tear escaping her eye.
"How much more proof do you need? Look at me."
"But..."
"But, what?" he said, pulling her hair so tightly that she thought it would rip from her scalp.
"I love you."
Damon was taken aback by her confession. Those words, those three words changed everything. He may have compelled her to forget her family and to be with him, but he had never compelled her to love him, which meant something, her feelings were real, no matter how they came about, they were real. He loosened his grip of her and hesitated for a second. How could she love him? How could someone so beautiful love him? He didn't want to let her in but he couldn't stop himself, he wanted her more than anything and she wanted him, and it was real.
He grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her hungrily on the lips. He slipped his tongue between her lips, invading her mouth. She moaned in his mouth as he flicked his tongue against hers. He broke their kiss for a second.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked her.
"More than anything." she said smiling against his lips.
"There's no going back after this."
"I know."
Damon moved his hands behind her back and broke the rope that bound her hands. Her hands flew to his face and she kissed him hard. Elena trailed her fingers in his hair, tickling her fingers down the back of his neck. He bit her lip hard drawing blood. She gasped, surprised by his roughness, but soon smiled, urging him to continue. Damon licked up her lips, sucking the blood into his mouth. He rubbed his lips together, grazing his teeth across them to scrap every last drop into his mouth. His eyes rolled shut as she buzzed in his system.
"Your turn." he instructed her.
Elena took him in a kiss, pushing her lips against his with as much force as she could muster. He moaned, loving how forceful she was being, as he wrapped his hands around her neck, pulling her harder against him. She tugged on his lip, pulling at it as she broke their kiss for a second. She pressed her lips against his again and licked her tongue over his bottom lip, his lips pumping under touch. She bit down, penetrating it and allowed the blood to flow into her mouth. She sucked hard, more of his blood easing into her mouth. She licked her tongue over his lips, loving the taste of him. She kissed him again, getting caught up in her actions, as his blood radiated through her body. She could feel him electrifying her veins, her body shaking and buzzing, the sensation making her tingle.
She threw her head back, rolling her lips into her mouth, the remainder of his blood seeping into her. She closed her eyes, a euphoric feeling taking over her body. She could feel her skin tightening, her wounds healing, as he coursed through her veins. Elena swung her head from side to side, leaning back, linking her arms around his neck to support her. She was becoming lost, the taste of him too much to handle, the high setting in like she had just done a shot of heroin.
Damon licked up her throat and curved his lips over her chin, taking her in another kiss. She kissed him back, sucking on him a little more, feeling like an addict. He pushed his body against her hard, the chair falling backwards, crashing them to the floor. He rolled them, pressing her back against the floor as he intensified their kiss. His hands roamed up her body, taking her top between his fingers and ripping it in two. He pulled the fabric out from under her and tossed it to one side, turning his attention to her jeans. Elena tugged at his shirt, unbuttoning it and rolling her hands over his shoulders, allowing the shirt to fall freely down his back. She grazed her hands over his back as he lingered over her, kissing her again and again.
Damon slipped her jeans down her legs with one hand and used his other to unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans from his body. He rested his body against hers, grinding on her pubic bone as he trailed kisses over her neck. She dug her nails into his back, grazing them down his skin to his ass, as he pushed more forcefully against her. She could feel him hard, prodding at her opening, begging for entry. Elena tiled her hips, grabbing his ass and pushed him inside of her. She moaned against his neck as he entered her, his hard cock filling her completely.
Damon rested his hands either side of her and began to thrust in and out of her wetness, going deeper with each push. Elena wrapped her legs around his back, pushing him further into her, a small shock ripping through her body as he hit the bottom of her cervix. He moaned, building his pace, as she clenched her muscles, tightening herself and then releasing as he continued to dip into her. Damon lifted her legs, sliding them over his shoulders, giving him more entry. Elena moaned repeatedly, screaming his name as he pulsated within her, her walls contracting around his long length.
He slipped a hand between them, running a finger up her slit and over her clit. She rolled her head back against the floor as he rubbed across her nub, working her at the same time. Sharp breaths rumbled from her throat, her hips bucking as he began to rub harder, occasionally pressing his finger firmly against her applying pressure directly to her clit. Damon began to pant, feeling his climax building, wanting to last as long as possible. He pulled out of her and rolled her onto her front.
"Get on your hands and knees." he instructed her.
Elena did as she was told and Damon thrust into her from behind, holding her hips firmly in place as he pushed. Their skin slapped together as he sped up, the noises making her wetter by the second. He dug his fingers into her skin as the pleasure built, his cock throbbing inside of her. Elena curled her fingers against the floor, her knees sliding against the carpet, burning slightly as he rocked into her. He pulled her up so that her back was rested against his chest, tightening her for him. He wrapped his arm around her neck, supporting her as he moved in and out of her wetness.
"AHH, DAMON" she gasped.
Damon held her still with one hand and sucked his wrist into his mouth. His fangs penetrated into his skin, blood seeping from the puncture wounds. He moved his wrist to her mouth, allowing her to suck on him as he slipped in and out of her. She moaned against his skin, sucking hard on the blood, her body shaking as he shot through her. Damon bit down on her shoulder at the same time, allowing her blood to flow into his mouth. He circled his tongue against her skin simultaneously, making the feeling orgasmic for her. Elena rested her head against his chest, her breathing increasing as she continued to suck. Her body tingled, her heart pumping faster and faster as he sensually sucked from her.
Blood began to trickle down her chest making her shiver, her walls tightening to him as the sensations took over her body. He pushed into her, feeling her close, her lips resting against his skin, as she began to ride the wave. He drained her some more, as she spasmed, contracting as he hit her wall, her body floating away, everything too much. Elena flew into orgasm as he ripped his lips from her, throwing his head back, moaning her name as he released into her wetness. She panted, surge after surge hitting her, her body shaking uncontrollably against him. He held her tight, resting his arm against her breasts, feeling her heart pound, knowing he probably drank a little too much, but pleased he had given her such a rush. She rested her head against him, exhausted, feeling completely satisfied, completely at one with him and utterly in love with him.
Damon kissed her cheek, the sweat sliding between them as he took her in his arms, lying on the floor. He thought for a moment, wondering whether what he was about to say was a mistake, he knew he would probably regret it, things would never be the same, but he had to say it, she had to hear it. He calmed himself and parted his lips.
"I love you, too."
