Broken Pieces

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Spoilers for "Hopeless" (5-04).

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Chapter 4

JJ and Emily were standing in the conference room facing the others. They'd just told the team what they learnt from Sarah Hillridge and when they didn't get such a reaction they'd expected, Emily raised the question of finding Aimee alive and the possibility of Sarah helping in that.

The look on the men's faces frustrated Emily. She could tell what they were thinking. Reid kept himself occupied by awkwardly fidgeting with his pen in his hands. Hotch's face was unreadable as usual but the look he exchanged with Rossi whose lips were in a tin line – obviously debating with himself whether to speak up or stay silent – told her everything.

And they all remained silent.

It was Derek, who finally spoke up directing his words at Emily. She looked at him expectantly, hoping that at least he'd support them.

"Look," Derek started, "we all think that Aimee could be alive. No one's giving upon her. That's why hundreds of volunteers and officers are covering every inch of the county."

Her expectant look quickly morphed into a disappointed frown that was just as fast to disappear, leaving her features professional.

"But they are dragging the rivers and digging up the woods," Emily pressed, bringing home her point that she hadn't been questioning the fact that Aimee was alive but rather she wanted them to consider Sarah's case. "That's not gonna help us if Aimee's still with the UnSub and she's still alive out there."

It seemed that Derek caught the message as he turned to JJ, "What about Charlie. Is he still alive?"

"Sarah believes it."

"Eight years, she'd been saying the same thing, JJ," Derek pointed out. It took Emily a moment to school her feature. Did he really say that? A part of her knew that he just wanted to make sure that JJ was really convinced but it didn't stop the anger rise in her. "Have you thought about why you were so quick to believe her? You think it might be because you're a mother?"

Emily hoped that her sharp intake of breath went unnoticed. When the hell did they switch roles? If anybody, Derek should be the one fighting for a chance to prove that Charlie Hillridge was indeed alive… to prove that it was possible to bring a long lost child home. And yet here he was playing the devil's advocate. Emily didn't really know whether she should call him a hypocrite or tell him that he was right.

"It's…" JJ hesitated a little but Emily knew that she really believed Sarah. "It's because another woman's just walked in here with the same exact rouse used eight years ago. I can't deny that, can you?"

"All I'm saying if we go from a single abduction to multiple abductions over ten years that changes everything. We all have to be convinced – that's what it is – based on an unbiased profile."

"Okay," Emily spoke up. She had decided. She wanted to help that poor woman but it seemed to convince the others, she had to resort to deceit. "Distraction of a lost child, eight year-old victims taken from public places with little to no security, that's not just the same rouse, that's a signature," she put the facts in front of the team. Then with only a heartbeat of hesitation, she added, "And I'm not a mother." She knew that it was as unbiased as it could get and if Derek knew otherwise, he wouldn't be the one to object. She tried to ignore the hurt that fleshed through his eyes.

"Charlie would be sixteen now," Hotch stated without the slightest indication that he disapproved of Emily's deception and Emily was grateful for that. "We all know the preferential offenders typically dispose of their victims before they reach puberty."

"Maybe he serves another purpose," JJ offered hell-bent on convincing the others.

"Aimee's mom said the UnSub was slight. Wouldn't be easy to keep a teenager under her thumb," Rossi offered still sceptic about Charlie's case but Emily had the feeling that it wasn't about discarding the idea anymore but about making sure that they had a solid case.

"Except she's had him since he was eight years old," she supplied thinking back to all the possible scenarios her nightmares had been filled with since Ceci's abduction. She hated considering the possibility of either of them but now she had no choice but to give voice to them. "By now, he's completely submissive to her."

"Keeping him could explain why Charlie's body was never found," Reid joined in.

"Garcia…" after a short silence, Hotch turned to the woman, his mind made up.

"Sir."

"Go back ten years nationwide," he instructed her while JJ and Emily shared a look, Emily doing her best to avoid looking at Derek. "Start with abductions and target-rich environments. Rule out any bodily recovery, dead or alive."

"I'm going to Sarah now," JJ announced.

"Good," Hotch agreed as JJ quickly disappeared then he turned to the others. "We need to check out Aimee's abduction site with new eyes."

CM CM CM

"Shouldn't we bring Barbara back here?" Emily asked feeling uncomfortable.

"No," Hotch answered firmly, seemingly unaware of the difficult situation he had put Emily in. "She's given us all she can. Let's go through it."

"Okay," she took a deep breath, steadying herself. She could deal with it. "She was standing about here. Right?"

"It's crowded," Hotch offered, "families all around."

Suddenly Emily was attacked with sensory inputs that could be perceivable only to her. She could hear the typical noise of places like the fair but somehow the smell of cotton candy and hot-dog was mixed with the smell of the animal dens nearby. She could hear the exited laughter of children running around while the parents called after them, all talking merrily with each other. She could feel the soft skin of the hand of the little girl who was clinging to her and she could feel the touch of the man next to her when he tried to get her attention.

"Are you hungry?" he asked and Emily nodded confounded. It was all too real.

"The UnSubs are watching, waiting for the best target."

Hotch's voice reminded Emily that they had work to do but she found it hard to concentrate as she ran her eyes around the place. She could still hear the crowd around her and the tiny hand was still in hers, and when she looked down at the little girl, her breath was caught in her throat.

The girl next to her wasn't blond but had light brown hair pulled into a loose pony-tail. She forgot to breathe for a moment and while Hotch was talking about Aimee wanting to ride a pony and complaining about her hat, all Emily could hear was the little brown-haired girl's excited question: "Can we see the butterflies?" Emily found her self nodding with a huge smile and the little girl's hand left hers when she began clapping in joy.

"Then she hears it."

Again, its Hotch's voice that forced her to leave her thoughts, but she found herself unable to get out of the world her subconscious conjured up. Not so far away, she could hear a woman crying for her lost child and instinctively, she turned toward the voice.

"By the time she turns around, Aimee's gone," Hotch continued and Emily's heartbeat sped up as she looked back at the girl but found her gone.

She was still in her fantasy when she started toward the imaginary woman.

"The mother who's just cried wolf, moves off," she said, anxious to get to her. "She can hear Barbara crying out for Aimee but…" she explains, finding it difficult to refer back to their current case.

"Aimee can't answer it because the UnSub has her face buried in his chest," Emily could hear Hotch as she was still desperately trying to catch up with the woman who took her baby girl. "To passers-by, they look like any parent carrying his crying child." But it's not her child, Emily's mind was screaming. "Thirty seconds later she's concealed in a vehicle and they are gone."

"Same one rolls up," Emily said riled up by the chase, "and when the mother's in, it's done," she said getting to a halt and watching an imaginary wan speeding off. "Who's driving it?" she asked desperation creeping into her voice.

"It took three UnSubs to pull this off," Hotch walked up to her, finally pulling her out of her nightmare. "If the same people took Charlie, we're looking for a group."

"If they have taken two or more children over an eight-year period, somebody must have noticed something." Emily was still looking after the imaginary wan, her heart thumping in her chest. If they could find somebody who'd seen something… if they had something to go on with… if they could find Charlie Hillridge alive… if he was still alive, maybe… No, she stopped herself. She knew she should stop it; she'd been resisting the urge to be swallowed up by the what-ifs for ten years, she couldn't start letting them take over now.

"Why don't they keep the victims hidden?" Hotch continued, oblivious to her inner struggle. "Once we figured that out, we'll find them."

"The UnSubs?" Emily asked pulling the walls back up again. She wasn't there because of Ceci; she was there because she had a job to do.

"And the children," Hotch added before turning and starting toward their SUV.

Emily lingered just a little longer, trying to get hold of her emotions and only after she'd managed to compose herself and swallow up the tears that threatened to fall, did she follow Hotch. Silently she walked up to the SUV and reached for the door.

"Emily," Hotch called to her from the other side of the car and frowned when he noticed just how pale Emily had become. "I'm sorry," he said, just realizing what he had asked of her. "I shouldn't ha…"

"Can we just go, please?" Emily cut him off weakly and opened her door to get.

Hotch followed her but took his time before starting the engine. "How did Cecily disappear? It happened here in Chicago, right?"

"Yes," Emily sighed, suddenly feeling really tired. "But it doesn't matter. It happened a long time ago," she said, conveniently forgetting the fact that they'd just extended the time period of the abductions to eight years.

"Look," Hotch sighed, determined to finish the conversation he'd wanted to start earlier. "I can't help but notice how difficult this case is on you. And I have a confession to make. I brought you here on purpose," he admitted and kept up his straight face as Emily's head snap at him. "We'd had numerous child abduction cases ever since you joined us and none of them troubled you as this one does. We're back in Chicago, I get it but there has to be more to it than that, doesn't it, Emily?"

There was deadly silence in the car for a long moment then Emily nodded, fighting with her tears.

That was the point when Hotch decided not to push the subject any further; he'd got his answers. "Talk to Morgan, Emily," he suggested finally. "It can't be easy for him, either." Emily gave him a warning look that wasn't really convincing with her teary eyes. "Or you can talk to me…" the unite chief offered, his features softening into a sympathetic expression of a friend. "Whenever you feel the need to," he added before pulling out of the parking lot.


"Oh, no… You screwed it up," Garcia stepped up to Derek who was sitting in his chair staring into nothingness with a troubled expression. The day before, when she confronted his friend about Tamara Barnes, she felt somewhat bad. She knew that she had overstepped her boundaries and was worried that Derek took it the wrong way. He said they were okay, though, and any other day she wouldn't bother trying those boundaries again but the expression on his face made her not want to back down.

"What?" Derek frowned, having been pulled out of his thoughts. "No, I didn't screw up anything."

"Then what's that face for?" Garcia prodded, leaning against her friend's desk. "I take it's not because Emily took it so well that you grouped up with Miss Barnes during the case and that you tried to ease her grief after hours, too."

"Baby girl," Derek used her favorite nickname but his tone was warning.

"Don't baby-girl me, Derek Morgan. You are playing with Em's feelings here and while I'm really sorry for that woman's loss, she should find somebody else to help her. You have your commitments and it's not with her."

"Are you done?" She nodded. "Good. And now listen to me, Penelope. I'm the last one who wants to play with Emily's feelings. I would never hurt her. Never," he stressed his point. "And I know very well that it's not my place to be there for Tamara but she has no one else. I just can't turn my back on her," he explained. "As for Emily, she didn't say a word to me about this," he said then added to himself with a frown, "I didn't even see her yesterday night."

"You didn't?" Garcia's voice hitched and Derek shrugged. "But you are practically living together, right?" He nodded. "And she spent the night at her place."

"I guess so."

"That's not good," Garcia said, shaking her head.

"What? She just spent a night at her place. It's not a big deal."

"And yet here you are wondering what's up with her." She caught him at that one. "You know that something's wrong."

Derek shrugged again.

"It's just that we haven't spent a night apart for months. We're always going home together or she's coming over. It just felt weird without her."

"Have you ever tried talking to her?"

"About what?"

"About your relationship, genius," Garcia rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Where are you standing?"

"Well, we're together."

"Oh God, give me patience," the woman sighed. "Are you living together?"

"You said it yourself. We're practically living together."

"Practically. Did you ask her to move in with you?" she asked then held up a hand, effectively cutting the dark profiler off. "You know what? Don't answer that. My guess is that you just assumed that she'd already had a key so why ask. And anyway, over the months her things seemed to get over to your place and she seems so comfortable at your place so why ask," she expertly sketched the situation and when she saw the blank look on her friend's face, she let out a deep sigh. "God, men and their thick skulls."

"You really lost me here, Garcia."

"Then put it this way: I have a key to your apartment – and I feel pretty comfy there, too –, Reid has a key to your apartment… even Rossi has a key to your apartment. Are you following me?"

For a long moment there was no answer coming from Derek and it didn't seem, either, that he had understood her but then he suddenly shot up from his seat and hastily grabbed his jacket.

"Gotta go, baby girl," he said already halfway out of the door but then he suddenly stopped and turned back. "Thanks, moma," he pressed a kiss onto Garcia's forehead before disappearing.

CM CM CM

When Emily opened her door, she came face to face with a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Ugh," she stepped back surprised and peeped behind it where the sight of a sheepish looking Derek greeted her.

"Looks like somebody feels the need for a profound apology," she remarked taking the bouquet from him.

"Well, yeah," Derek scratched the back of his neck but didn't elaborate any further.

Emily gave him an amused smile then stepped closer to place a light kiss on his lips. "Apology accepted," she whispered. "For whatever you might have done," she added before turning and walking inside her apartment.

Looking for a vase, she completely missed the confused look that appeared on Derek's face as he stepped in after her and closed the door behind him.

"You are not angry at me," his uncertain remark sounded more like a question as he watched Emily put the vase with the bouquet on the dining table.

"Should I be?" she turned to him with raised eyebrows and arms crossed on her chest. Derek had the feeling that she knew what he was talking about but was letting him stew.

"No…" he started then changed his mind. "I mean I don't know. It's just that… I assumed…" he stuttered then let out a frustrated sigh before getting to the point. "You didn't spend last night at my place."

"So you noticed," Emily said bemused.

"Emily…" Derek started explaining the situation but Emily cut him off.

"It's all right, Derek."

"It is? You are not jealous?"

"Should I be?" Emily asked again and found Derek's expression quite amusing.

"Damn, woman," he shook his head frustrated. "You're confusing me."

"No. You're confusing yourself," Emily pointed out, laughing, then went to stand in front of him. "Answering your questions," she started looking up at him while her hands took hold of the edges of his jacket. "Which were quite vague, I must add. Am I angry at you because you paid too much attention to Miss Barnes? I'm really not… annoyed, maybe, but not angry," she shared. "I'm more like worried but I trust you to handle the situation accordingly. As for being jealous of her, hell, yes," she admitted, "I am… but I know you, Derek Morgan, and I know that you'd never cheat on me. Not until you break this thing off with me," here she stopped and regarded him with narrowed eyes. "You didn't come here to dump me, did you?"

Derek laughed out relieved and pulled her close. "Not a chance, Princess. Not a chance."

"Good," Emily smiled. "And now come on in already. You are acting like being in a stranger's apartment stopping in the doorway and waiting for an invitation," she petted him on the chest before turning and entering the adjacent living room.

"Well, actually, that is something I wanted to talk to you about," Derek said as he hung his jacket.

"What? Your not feeling at home in my apartment?" she asked as Derek joined her on the couch.

"Partly… I mean, we don't really spend much time here."

"That's mostly because I really hate when you shot out of bed in an ungodly hour just because it occurred to you that you forgot to take out Clooney."

"I have a solution for that problem," He offered.

"Really?"

"Why don't we move in together? We don't have to make a big deal out of it. I mean, you've already got most of your staff at my place… and you have a key, too. Of course, that means nothing… Rossi has a key, too…" he mused then focused on Emily when she laughed out.

"You talked to PG," she stated amused.

"Is that a bad thing?" Derek asked apprehensively. "I'm not asking you because of her. I kind of assumed that we live together already. She just pointed out that you may not be assuming the same thing. I just thought that we should stop assuming."

"Derek Morgan, for a ladies' man you really suck at this staff."

"I'm not a ladies' man. I'm your man," he gave her a charming smile.

"But you sure know how to sweet talk," she pointed out.

"And that never got me anywhere with you," his smile became gentler as he remembered all the time he had tried to sweet talk Emily into something… in vain.

"Maybe that's your lucky day," Emily gave him mysterious look and Derek's eyes lit up.

"Is that a yes then?"

"Well, I kind of assumed, too, that we're living together…" she admitted somewhat sheepishly, "No matter in which apartment."

"Then why didn't you come home last night?"

"Well, yeah… about last night…" Emily started hesitantly. "I sat down with Rossi and Hotch for a glass of whiskey in the office and it kind of got out of hand."

"Out of hand?"

"Yeah," Emily sighed, rolling her eyes at herself. "We drained the bottle," she confessed sheepishly. "I just didn't want to barge in on you in the middle of the night. You know I'm a happy drunk. I didn't want to put you in that situation."

"That's a load of bullshit, Emily. That's what living together means. And anyway, I don't see what the big deal's about it. I've already seen you wasted," Derek observed regarding Emily. "Okay, what's the deal?" he asked finally. "If it were about you being drunk, I shouldn't have looked for you here tonight," he raised a questioning eyebrow, knowing that he caught Emily on that one.

"All right," Emily sighed, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Here's the deal… I knew that you couldn't just let this whole Miss Barnes thing go, even if we closed the case. So I thought that I'd give you some space… you know, to deal with it without feeling pressured by me."

"Why would I feel pressured, Emily?"

"You tell me," Emily said. "It's not me who showed up at my door step with puppy dog eyes and an apology. That's what I wanted to avoid – you feeling bad about helping another woman."

"You're an incredible woman, Emily Prentiss," Derek took hold of her hand.

"But, Derek, be careful," she continued. "Don't make her think that you're the answer to her problems."

"I know," he nodded. "I'll deal with it," he reassured her then put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "In the meantime," he continued as Emily settled into his arms. "You can start packing up this apartment because there is no way you can hide here next time you think I need space. Rest assured that I'll let you know when I need it," he said then looked down at Emily when he could hear her exhale a heavy sigh. "What?"

"Nothing," Emily shook her head with a sad smile. "It's just strange to think that we lived together for eight years without much misunderstanding and now, sometimes it feels awkward to guess what you're thinking, what you need."

"Guess it was easier to adjust when we were younger," Derek agreed. "But we'll get to it, Emily. It just takes time…"

"… and talking," Emily added.

"It's all right. What matters is that you're here."

"It's good to be here."

TBC

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