(Author's Note: Talkloid video reference: "Shizukana kohan" "Cool Kaito and Handsome Len")
"Luka, Len, Rin," Master stated, grabbing everyone's attention, as they finally finished their breakfasts. The human put his almost-empty coffee mug down on the table. "I'd like to hear your progress so far on your present songs. We don't record again for another week, but I want to make sure you're coming along well. I don't want your fans to be disappointed if your next recording session isn't a hit. I've got plans for dinner tonight, so let's do a practice session before dinner."
"My song is coming along really well, Master!" Luka said, excited. "There's still a few rough spots but I think you're going to be very pleased!"
"Yay! We get to sing for Master!" Rin exclaimed in her high-pitched voice. She high-fived Len, who looked a little worried for some reason. She leaned the front of her small body on top of his banana-haired head and grinned down at Len from above.
"And you, Len?" Master prompted, turning his gaze upon the blonde Kagamine male. Len looked back at Master and tried to smile like he thought Master expected.
"I... I could use some more practice, too, Master... but the song is good," Len managed to say. Master nodded as if satisfied.
"If you want to get in any extra practice before then, you may do so," Master finished and stood, leaving the Vocaloids to take care of his dirty dishes. Meiko picked up the dishes and brought them, along with Miku's and her own, into the kitchen to get them washed.
As soon as Master left, Kaito stood as well, said a quiet, "I'm done. Thank you for the meal," and left. His body's movements were controlled and a little stiff.
Rin watched Kaito's disappearing back with a pout.
"Kaito-nii-chan must've tripped over something again. He's walking stiff again. He barely even said anything to anyone this morning. And his voice sounded horrible, I'm glad he doesn't have to sing today," Miku said a little unhappily, watching his back disappear. "I wish he'd take better care of himself."
"Yeah!" Rin piped up, crossing her arms and nodding at Miku. "He hasn't played with us very much for a long time."
Len got up and took his dishes to the kitchen as well. Meiko looked over at the blonde male Vocaloid and smiled, taking the dishes from him and putting them into the sink filled with water and soap bubbles.
"Meiko?" Len asked after standing there for a while.
"Hm? What is it, Len-kun?" The brown-haired Vocaloid female had her hands in the water, washing the dishes.
"What... what do you do, if... something really bad happens, and you don't know what to do? To... to stop it, or fix it?" Len swallowed.
"Something bad, Len? Do you want to talk about it? What happened?" Meiko paused in her movements and looked over again. Len was quiet.
"I don't think you'd believe me," he said finally. "But... if someone is getting hurt... and you don't know what to do to stop it, what do you do?"
Meiko put the rinsed dish she was holding down into the drainer and turned to give Len her full attention.
"I guess... I'd tell Master about it? Or I'd ask someone for advice," Meiko said, frowning in concern. "Kaito's good at figuring stuff like this out. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me about it, maybe Kaito can help you, Len-kun?"
Len tensed, and stared at Meiko, his face complicated with pain at the mention of Kaito's name.
"Y-yeah. Kaito-nii always... is good at figuring out these kinds of things, isn't he?" Len clenched his fists and tried to smile at Meiko. She smiled back, her expression lightening, figuring that the problem would be solved.
"Can you help rinse, Len? It always goes faster with two people washing," Meiko moved over to give Len room to join her at the sink. He stepped up after a moment, and began helping. "Len, whatever it is, I'm sure you can figure it out. Just have confidence in yourself and do your best, okay?"
Len didn't reply, but just watched his yellow-tipped hands as they rinsed the bubbles away from the now-clean breakfast dishes, one by one.
"Hrrrggn, I can't find it," Rin whined. Len glanced over at her. Her entire head was stuck inside the freezer, and only her slightly wiggling butt and legs could be seen.
"What are you looking for? The orange juice is already made up and in the fridge," Len replied, though he smiled a little at the view, then cleared his throat and looked away as a pouting Rin slammed the freezer door, looking disgruntled.
"I wanted to sneak Kaito-onii-chan's aisu," the blonde female Vocaloid whispered in a dramatically sneaky voice. "It's been in there for a while. But now I can't find it."
Len swallowed his intense guilt hard. But then he felt a little mad.
"Why do you want to steal it? It's Kaito's! You should leave it alone," Self-recrimination was in that upset response, but Rin blinked at Len's words, surprised.
"But it's fun to sneak things from onii-chan! Anyways... he hasn't played with me recently. Not enough, anyways. Maybe if I steal his aisu he'll come scold me," Rin replied easily, grinning with mischief.
"Well, you're too late, because I ate it yesterday," Len admitted, remembering the event with a sense of unhappiness. "And he didn't scold me, so you're out of luck, Rin. Anyways, it's too late for a snack. You're gonna ruin your lunch."
"Awwww," the blonde female whined a little bit in disappointment and draped herself over Len's shoulder, looking at his face close up. Len looked back at her, his sister Vocaloid's cute scrunched-up face making him smile a little despite his troubles. "Well, I guess I'll have to think of something else to do, then, huh?"
"Rin, you know... we steal stuff from Kaito kind of a lot, don't we?" Len's smile faded a bit as he thought about it, but then met Rin's blinking eyes again. "But we never give him anything back."
"Don't be dumb, Len-kun. Of course we give him something back. Our wonderful and amazing attention! What could be better than receiving the gift of 'us'?" Rin grinned shamelessly and stood up straight, fluffing her short blonde hair as if to accentuate what a good deal the Kagamines paying attention to you was. She winked shamelessly at Len, and he couldn't help but laugh. Rin's antics always lifted Len's mood.
"You're right, nothing is better than attention from the cute and sexy Kagamines," Len replied, grinning.
"That's right, and don't you forget it. I still know how to use that road roller, you know. If you forget it, I'll have to show you," Rin proclaimed. "And now I will demonstrate my awesome powers with a grand exit."
Putting both palms up to the sky, Rin stood stock still a moment until she was sure Len's eyes were on her, then she cartwheeled out of the room. Len facepalmed as Rin disappeared from sight. But Rin ruined the drama by uttering a muffled "ta-da!" from around the corner.
"Nice," Len called out with one hand cupped around his mouth to project his voice. A giggling voice became softer as Rin presumably walked the rest of the way away, towards wherever she was headed next.
"I shouldn't have stolen it," Len said to himself quietly as the silence of the room surrounded him. "I wonder if I have any money. Maybe I can buy Kaito a new ice cream."
"Kaito? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Len asked, a plastic bag from the convenience store in one of his hands. Kaito stopped and turned, waiting for Len. The blonde male caught up and stood in front of his brother Vocaloid, but Len didn't speak, even though he was standing right there... as if he'd forgotten what he intended to say.
Len stared at Kaito. Kaito stared back at Len. The bluenette's smile was gentle and friendly. Len wondered to himself when the last time he had really, truly, looked at the blue-haired Vocaloid was. Wondered how long that soft, gentle smile had been practiced.
"Does it hurt?" Len asked abruptly. It wasn't what Len had meant to ask, or to say. But Kaito's smile flickered for just a moment before it returned, as if it hadn't left. Kaito tilted his blue head slightly.
"It's just a sore throat," the bluenette replied mildly. Len's lower lip quivered, and he pressed his lips firmly together as he looked downwards. Now that he was looking right at Kaito, he couldn't help but be faced with the reality of last night. Even if Kaito didn't know it, all Len could see was Master's legs, too close to Kaito's legs, and the sounds of sobbing and agony in his brother Vocaloid's normally beautiful voice. The splotches of blood on the floor from violence.
"I'm sorry," the whisper was sincere. Len didn't know what to do to solve this for Kaito. The bluenette didn't want Len knowing what he knew in the first place. Kaito had begged Master not to tell anyone. But the very human they depended on, their Master, was the villain. How could Len- or any of them- stop this from happening?
Len wished he could ask Kaito for his advice. Meiko was right that the older Vocaloid male was always good at figuring out the answers to things. But Kaito was the one in trouble now, and he clearly didn't have the answers either. Maybe Len shouldn't push into Kaito's problems. Not when he couldn't even figure out how to solve them.
Part of the blonde's mind still refused to believe that Master's actions were reality. Didn't want to believe Master was anything but the miraculous human who gave the Vocaloids meaning, life, and composed their songs.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to do to fix it, Kaito. I'm sorry." Len's eyes were shut tightly. He hugged his own waist as if it could give him comfort. His face looked like it was in pain. Kaito watched him, the smile dropping from his face.
"It's not your fault," Kaito said, but his voice sounded flat this time. Len looked back up, and jolted back a little. The expression on Kaito's face... "You don't need to apologize, Len. It's just a sore throat, after all."
"...Oh," Len replied, shocked. Was this what Kaito's true face looked like, now? The blonde male's own face reflected his troubled and anxious thoughts.
"If you're all set with me, I'm going to go practice my new song," Kaito said. He turned slowly, as if moving was difficult, as if his body parts felt fragile.
"Wait," Len said, remembering. "Kaito? About your ice-"
"It's okay, Len. I already said you didn't have to worry about it," Kaito responded, stopping, but not turning back. Len lowered his head, feeling like dirt. The crinkly plastic of the bag in his hand forced him to take a breath for courage.
"I know, but, the truth is... Kaito, the truth is, I was jealous of you. Of Master- of Rin... giving you their attention. I thought it was fair if I ate your ice cream... to punish you because I was sulking. But I..." Len swallowed. Kaito's hands had clenched into fists and his shoulders were tense and shivering slightly. The bluenette's slim back looked so small, as if it were defeated, all of a sudden. Len took a deep breath and continued talking.
"The fact is, I... always look up to you, nii-san. I'm always... trying to sound as good as you do, when you sing. Your voice is so incredible, and you're always nice to us... to me and to Rin... even when we're not nice back to you. You're always there for me, when I get confused about something that doesn't make any sense, and you explain things. You're... you're 'Kakoi-to.' No matter whether your voice sounds like... it's been put through a meat grinder. You're always 'cool Kaito' to me, no matter what. And... I'm sorry." Len blinked away tears. "I'm sorry. Kaito? I know it's not enough to say it but..."
Len rummaged around in the bag, and Kaito's ears heard the crinkling. Something cold and with beads of moisture on the outside of it, touched his cheek. Kaito turned slowly, and came to face with an individual ice cream. He stared at it.
"I wasn't sure what flavor you like best, so I just kind of guessed. Is... it okay?" Len smiled, anxious; a trembling small smile. Kaito's eyes went back to the ice cream. Vanilla with caramel. Hagen Daaz. "Um... if something else is better, I can go back to the store but... I just didn't have a lot of money to buy stuff with, so... if you can wait... I mean... um-"
"Thank you," Kaito said in his damaged voice. Blue tipped fingers took the tiny container from Len's hands and held it for a long moment. "...Cool... Kaito?"
"Yeah," Len smiled a little. "Remember? Cool Kaito and-"
"And 'handsome Len,'" Kaito smiled, a weird quirk of one side of his mouth, as if his face only remembered half of what it needed to do. One of Kaito's hands curled around the ice cream. The other one covered his eyes and part of his face. Portions of blue bangs stuck out softly between Kaito's fingers. The half quirky smile stayed there as clear moisture beaded in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. "I forgot about that."
"All the girls find me irresistable," Len reminded Kaito. The bluenette wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand, and smiled at Len again, blue eyes shadowy, as Len smiled back. "If you want, I'll let you be my side-kick, nii-san."
"I thought Rin was supposed to be the super hero," Kaito replied.
"Kaito... Listen," Len said, awkward again. "You can talk to me anytime, about anything. Okay? Even... even if... I'm no good. Even if I can't do anything. Even though I don't know how to fix anything and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Kaito, but... you're still my Kaito-nii-san. Nobody can replace you for me. Kaito..? no matter what anyone ever tells you. You're NOT a fail. You're... you're just Kaito. Nobody, nothing can change that. So... Um... Just... I... hope you like the ice cream, okay?"
Turning to quickly leave after speaking, Len tried to pretend his face wasn't flushed from embarrassment from saying too much, tried to pretend there weren't tears burning in his eyes. But what else could he do? As pathetic as it made him feel, he didn't know what to do to help his older Vocaloid brother. Kaito needed help and Len couldn't help him. He felt like a shit friend. A shit sibling. He couldn't even protect Kaito, who had always been around whenever the others needed him. A stupid thing of ice cream wouldn't help anything. Len felt powerless.
"Damn it!" Len punched his bedroom door hard, making it rattle on its hinges impotently. "What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do..?"
Kaito sat down at the dining table gingerly. He opened the ice cream and picked up his spoon, but didn't eat yet. He just looked at it. It was already starting to melt on the edges. It looked creamy. It smelled clean and fresh, like sweet milk. Lifting up the spoon, his body protesting even that small movement, Kaito lifted the first bite to his mouth and placed it inside. It began to melt on contact, dissolving into sweet cold sugary beauty and perfection. It had been a while since he'd been given an ice cream freely, as an encouragement.
"Nobody can replace you. You're not a fail. You're always 'cool Kaito' to me. You're just... Kaito. No matter what."
"I'm not a fail..? I'm Kaito. I'm... cool Kaito," Kaito mumbled in his abused-sounding voice, and took another bite of ice cream. It was perfect. "I'm just Kaito. I'm cool... Kaito-nii. Me. I am. Right? I just have to remember that. I forgot it."
Kaito hugged his spoon as if it were alive, and smiled painfully, painfully, a real smile, down at the table. "I'm Kaito-nii-san. No matter what. I can do this. I'll be cool Kaito. I will. As long as even one person still believes in me, I can... right? It hurts, Len. My body really... hurts."
But for a few beautiful moments, ice cream melted on Kaito's tongue and down his throat, and he remembered what it was to be himself again.
