A/N: I have no idea why...but I have had the worst case of writer's block possible I think...I've had three great things I've been pecking at, but not really writing. Luckily, this one eeked out...so you better enjoy it! Heehee...nah...I'll get over it, promise.
Enjoy.
Chapter 7.
Jou sat and watched Kaiba like a hawk when he was able. Despite the endearing moment that they had shared, he was careful when Mokuba was around. The teen was stressed enough as it was and, even though he had told Jou how much he wanted for his brother to have somebody to be close to, there was some distinct little feeling that Mokuba wouldn't be entirely accepting of his brother's sexuality. Then again, Jou had no idea if Mokuba knew if Kaiba swung that way.
Jou laughed at his thoughts. This is what he was thinking about as he was sitting at a waiting room and staring toward a door that led to the OR.
It had only been a day, give or take. The x-rays were made, and they showed a cloud that was around Kaiba's hip; the biopsy was taken with sadly positive results. Jou hung his head as the news was broken to the elder Kaiba. Kaiba kept his reserve and nodded as the doctor continued, telling him that they would need to be immediate in their response or risk further problems. There was no hassle except maybe the little quiver that flashed in Kaiba's eyes for half a second.
Jou, for the thousandth time, picked up a magazine and flipped through it. How long was this supposed to take? He felt like he should have known, but all the same he was feeling worse for knowing so much of what was going on. He laid the open magazine across his knees and rubbed his eyes. Mokuba returned.
"Got ya some chips," Mokuba said, handing the small bag to the nurse. Jou nodded. "Why'd he make me leave yesterday? What were you guys talking about?"He asked, referring to the moment when Kaiba had consented to their 'intimacy' if it could be called that.
"Nothing much," Jou admitted, considering they really didn't talk, Kaiba had more or less made demands. "Just…something he wanted to say," Jou bowed his head and, as he brought a chip up, his fingers brushed his lips.
"Are you worried, Jou?"Mokuba asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, a' course I'm worried. This is a serious matter…I'm gonna be worried," he leaned back in his seat. There was something else that Kaiba had left behind, other than the kiss. Right before he was carted off and was still in a coherent state of mind, he instructed Jou to take his phone and, if a certain number popped up, answer it without question. His hand brushed against his pants pocket, and he wondered exactly what kind of call that Kaiba was waiting for that he actually trusted Jou to answer. "I…he's gonna be alright though; they caught it pretty early, so he should be alright."
Mokuba brought his knees up to his chest. When Jou looked over, he couldn't see anything other than a frightened child instead of the strong minded fifteen year old boy. Jou reached over and touched Mokuba's shoulder. He'd been in this predicament before, just not with the Kaiba brothers. He'd seen and felt it with other families, at least to a certain degree. Around Mokuba, he wasn't sure whether to be less concerned or more, considering what secrets he might give up in doing so.
The boy didn't respond to his attempts at comfort. Jou dropped his hand and put it in his lap. "Has yer brother ever been with anybody before?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were talkin' ta me a while ago and you said you were afraid that he wasn't going to have anyone…has he ever been with anyone before?" If he had been, he was good at keeping it as hidden from the world as possible. If there was one person the media liked, it was Kaiba.
"Once," Mokuba admitted, though he had to think about it first. "It was weird. I seen nii-sama with her for a little bit; he wouldn't let her come in the house, but that was about the most affectionate I'd seen him get with someone."
Jou nodded. "You didn't really know her?"
"Nah. When she stopped coming around, I asked nii-sama who it was, and he said that she was a bad influence and that I didn't need to worry about it."
Jou was about to ask Mokuba about how Kaiba was when it came to touching others, since the thought crossed his mind that he wouldn't let a woman touch him if he was that concerned, but he was cut off by the phone buzzing in his pocket. He reluctantly reached for it, praying that it wasn't who Kaiba had instructed for him to answer. He sighed when he saw the number.
"You've reached Kaiba Seto," he said. "Can I take a message?"
"Wh…where's Kaiba-sama?"
"He told me ta answer. Leave a message, promise it'll get to him," Jou said. He looked over at Mokuba and signaled to see if the boy had a pen. Mokuba patted around until he found one and gave it to Jou. "Ready when you are."
"Uh…oh…tell him that the thing he has me looking into…he knows what I'm talking about…well, there's some more problems popping up that he needs to look at."
Jou took a little shorthand, his body shifted away from Mokuba so the teen didn't get any suspicions. "Yeah, I hope you're right that he understands," Jou said, "because that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."
The man hung up without replying, and when Jou brought the phone down, he sneered at it. "Who was that?" Mokuba asked.
"No one important. Call your brother was waiting for," Jou shoved the phone back in his pocket. As he did, Mokuba's phone went off. Jou watched the teen uncurl and pull the phone out, putting it to his ear. The blond sighed and stood, whispering to Mokuba that he was going to the gift shop to see if he could find something to read. The teen wasn't listening.
At the gift shop, Jou was getting even more pensive and concerned about the situation. How was Kaiba treating this? Was he reaching out to Jou because he felt like there was no one else he could turn to? Why would it be like that? Or, was he trying to admit something of himself, a part of his personality that he was unwilling to deal with? Jou knew about his own sexuality for a long time, though he was weary when admitting it to other people like his friends. Well, weary wasn't the best word, he thought for a moment, more like he was just uncomfortable.
Jou looked at a small shelf of books and flipped through them. Something to get his mind off the situation. His heart was pounding.
"Jou? Is that you?" A seductive voice from behind asked. Jou looked over his shoulder, though he knew the voice a mile away.
"Mai?"
Mai Kujaku stood before Jou with her arms crossed. "Yeah, been a while," she came in closer and hugged him. "Where have you been?"
"Doing stuff," he admitted. "You?"
"Same," she said, "going on in life," she paused and looked the blond over with a curve on her lips. "Why are you here, Jou?"
"Oh I…"he lowered his head. He immediately began debating whether or not he should tell Mai the truth. When he looked her in the eye, he couldn't deny it to her. "I'm here with Kaiba."
"Kaiba?" she was immediately skeptical. "Where is he, and why are you with him?"
"I'm waiting for him to get out of surgery," Jou admitted. "Come with me, I'll explain it all to you," he said, and nudged her out of the shop, explaining it all to her as he walked back to the waiting room. Mokuba had disappeared, though a note was left in his chair. Jou picked it up and let Mai sit down. The blonde headed woman nodded as he explained it all, and she looked to the OR door, a little sympathetic.
"I heard about that," Mai admitted. She crossed her legs. "So…he blackmailed you into being his little nurse. That's cute; figures you'd fall for it."
"I didn't fall for anything," Jou said. "It was be his nurse or face criminal charges." The only part of the equation that he hadn't admitted was his more recent romantic interest in Kaiba. Mai leaned against the armrest and looked at Jou with a twinkle in her eye.
"Yeah? Well, I mean if he was my hated enemy that's why I'd do. Let him let me into his house and everything. Not that I'd mind being around Kaiba, if you know what I mean," she winked. Jou blushed and shoved his hands between his knees, leaning forward in his seat.
"Mai!"
Mai laughed. "Oh, c'mon. Kaiba? Puh-leaze..!I don't care how rich he is," she waved her hand around. "That's one man that I could not get along with."
"I'm shocked I'm alive," Jou said. Once he pulled the sex and the kisses out of the memories, it was just struggle. He and Kaiba were at each other's throats for the majority of the relationship. If it could be called a relationship. "Why are you here anyways? Something's not wrong is it?"
Mai shook her head. "No. I was just visiting someone. I was getting ready to leave and saw you in the shop. Thought I'd surprise you."
Jou smiled. "I missed ya, Mai. Ya haven't been around a lot."
"I haven't been far either," she admitted. "If you were looking for me, you could have found me pretty easily."
Jou was comfortable around Mai. She was the closest he felt to wanting to be with a girl because he could talk so truthfully to them. He was like that with Anzu usually. When she wasn't berating him for something that was. That was up until now at least. He folded his hands together and pinched his lips. He was so close to saying something to her, but his heart was blocking his voice from coming out.
"Something the matter Jou?"
"Nah. Just…thinkin' is all."
The doors opened up and Jou's head shot up. He recognized the doctor as he came out. Jou stood and approached the doctor, an anxious look taking over his features. The doctor nodded to him. "Everything went fine. We cleaned the bone; it should be all right as long as he takes the antibiotics."
"That's great," Jou relaxed. "So, what next?"
"We're taking him to a recovery room. I can have a nurse come and get you when he's all set up. It'll take him a little bit to wake up from the anesthesia…"
"Yeah, yeah I know. Groggy, tired…I got it. So, how long will he have to stay in here?"
"Just for the night; for observation. Tomorrow he can go home."
The doctor walked off, and Jou let his body slack a little. Everything was fine. His heart stopped pounding knowing that Kaiba would be okay.
"That's odd," Mai interjected.
"What's odd?" he whipped around and tried to looked at her. She was sitting with her arms on the rests of the chair, and her back flat against the wall and her legs crossed. There was a confident little smirk on her face. Crap…
"You started falling for him?" she asked. How to worm his way out of this one? Was it just easier to admit it all? After all, Yami knew didn't he? In a way. And Jou had just been debating with himself whether or not to tell her.
"I...yeah, I guess I did," he rubbed the back of his neck and sat down. "I don't…really know when it happened."
"Probably somewhere between Duelist Kingdom and Battle City," she said. "You were so obvious. You got all weird when he came around. Got all flustered like a little boy. It was cute," Jou could just imagine that she'd reach over and pinch his cheek. "Tried hiding it by coming onto me, didn't you?"
"Aw…Mai, stop it," he batted his hands and looked away from her. "I have no idea what this hellacious thing is. I think Kaib's half out of his mind right now. You should see the meds that he's on."
Mai was still smirking. A nurse was drawing upon them. "Sounds like you need someone to talk with about this stuff. Because whatever you got going on sounds kinda haphazard if you ask me." She took his hand, the one with nothing written on it, and pulled a pen from her purse, scribbling her number. "If you need to talk about any of this, give me a call. Promise?"
"Mai…"
"Jou. Promise?"
Jou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I promise."
The nurse was standing over top them. Mai stood up, adjusted her purse on her shoulder, and walked away as the nurse urged Jou to get up and led him to the recovery room.
"Three different notes…" Jou shook his head and looked at his hands, marked up with writing, and at the note that Mokuba had left saying that there was something urgent that he had to deal with at KaibaCorp and to tell Kaiba that he loved him. "What a trip…"
He leaned forward in his seat and touched Kaiba's hand, gripping it tightly. He was waiting for Kaiba to wake up from the anesthesia, the CEO seeming to take his time in coming to the conscious world.
"You know, you're kinda weird…in a good way. You're kinda like all of us…all 'a me and Yugi and Yami and all of us. We all got something kinda quirky. I don't think anyone'd ever guess you're so sensitive to touch for whatever reason, but you are. You don't seem to mind me much. I wonder if you're just screwing with me sometimes. I don't know whether to feel special or to feel worried expectin' somethin' big." Jou stopped and looked at Kaiba's face, serene, just to make sure that he wasn't waking. "I got a feeling you wouldn't admit any feelings to me no matter how much meds you were on, or if you were drunk or something. You're too much for that. I don't really think I could admit anything either…
"These last few weeks, boy they've been something. I don't…get why I'm this chosen one for you. Don't like doctors or nurses or…anyone touching you, but you let me just crawl all over you and touch your hand. Can't make up your mind if I should stay or if I should go. I'm not really okay with it, but I guess I can roll with the punches. Feel it out as I go.
"I don't really think this is much to be honest. Some kind of goofy fling…not saying I don't like it but…I don't know. It's you and me. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, they find out we're like this and I guess you're fucked and so am I. You worse, in a way…"
Jou let go of Kaiba's hand. He needed to stop talking. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to keep talking without Kaiba hearing what he said. For all he knew, Kaiba was listening to him and just pretending to be unconscious.
Jou looked around the room and back to his hands, covered in the ink. When he looked back up, he smiled a moment. Though he had seen the change as soon he walked in, he hardly acknowledged it.
The bandages on Kaiba's leg had been replaced by a cast, and Jou was amused to see that they had made it blue. He wondered if that was because of Kaiba's reputation of liking the color, or the possibility that someone might have asked before the surgery (which Jou could hardly imagine, and it almost made him giggle to think of Kaiba's face in reaction to the question). What was maybe a little more amusing (Jou wasn't quite sure why it was) was seeing Kaiba's toes poking out. He didn't know why it was so amusing. He'd seen them before. Maybe it was just the situation. Which really, it wasn't that funny.
Jou just shook his head. He saw a twitch in Kaiba, and he straightened himself out and watched as the CEO came back to the conscious world. His eyes a little hazy and a small groan fell from his lips. "Can ya hear me?"
Kaiba squeezed his eyes tightly. "Loudly..."
"You're gonna be fine," Jou said. "Next time you need to tell me if something feels up. I can't just read your mind," Jou shrugged his shoulders and slide down in his chair. Kaiba looked out of the corner of his eye, something between a frown and look of discomfort crossing his face. "Yer…not nauseous or anything are you?"
"Fine," Kaiba fidgeted, his hands pressing up to try and bring his body into a sitting position. "Where's Mokuba?"
Jou looked down to the note in his hand. "He said there was something urgent at KaibaCorp.," Jou pretended not to see that momentary downcast look. He wondered if that was how Mokuba felt sometimes. "Said he'd be back soon and wants you to know he..." Jou paused, and he looked at the card as if he'd forgotten, "that he loves you."
He handed Kaiba the card, but the brunet didn't take it. He leaned back into the pillows and put his hand to his forehead, the butt of his palm rubbing his temple. "Did y-you get any calls?"
"Yeah," Jou looked at his hand. "That number you were waitin' for. Said something about the thing ya had him looking into was…havin' problems that ya needed ta look at."
Kaiba looked at the ceiling half frustrated, half a face that Jou had seen all too many times. He stood up and grabbed a small pink plastic bowl off the end of the bed and stood beside Kaiba, waiting. The blue eyes came upon him. "I'm not going to throw up…"
"Sure you're not. But just in case, don't aim toward me, 'kay?" Kaiba took the bowl from Jou and the nurse pushed him back. "And stop movin' so much…it ain't helpin'."
"Stop being so damn pushy."
Jou drew the phone from his pants pocket and set it on Kaiba's lap. "It rang another coupla times, but I didn't recognize it so I let it go. Same person all times," Jou said. He ran his hand through his bangs.
"Give me my phone," he demanded, his hand held out. There was a subtle lurch. It was coming, he could see it, and he was sure that Kaiba could feel it. "Jou?"
"Try and relax Kaib'," Jou said. Jou knew that he wouldn't listen. Why did he expect Kaiba to listen to him? The worst of it was over; he didn't need someone to hold his hand. "Doctor said you could go home tomorrow." Kaiba nodded.
There were so many thoughts in Jou's head. He wanted to care so much; he'd let himself get too attached to Kaiba not to care. The worst was how many emotions that were flooding through him…the worry, the excitement, the little lusts every now and then. Even in all those moments, he tried to be constant. He tried to show the appropriate amount. He knew Kaiba wasn't trying, and that he wasn't going to try in the slightest. He was going to throw out whatever he had and stare Jou down until he took it.
Like a dog.
Jou laughed. "I…I wanted to ask you something," Jou said. Kaiba turned to look, his eyes seeming to drown as he stared. Jou wanted to ask if all this was just a game so that Kaiba could get a good laugh at the end of it all, or the pleasure of pleasuring himself and, in the end, humiliating Jou. He wanted to ask if it would ever amount to anything because somewhere deep inside him he wanted it to work. He wanted there to be some connection.
"Yes?" Kaiba asked, obviously thinking Jou's pause was too much.
"I wanted to ask you when I got here, but I never really found a good time to ask. What's…with all the other meds? The anti-depressants and the…sleepin' stuff."
Kaiba didn't even try to hide it. He rolled his eyes and let out a devilish little grin. "Obviously it's because I can't sleep and I'm depressed."
"Well no dip, Sherlock," Jou rolled his eyes in return. "I just mean…why? You don't seem like the type, ya know? Successful and what have you." The lurching seemed more prominent, but Kaiba didn't let it bother him hoping that if it didn't, then it didn't bother Jou. "How long have you been depressed?"
"For some time after all the fiascos ended," Kaiba replied stoical. "What does it matter? If I take them, I feel fine. It's working."
Jou knew there was more to it than that. Though people sometimes got depressed for not so obvious reasons, Jou knew that there was always a reason no matter how miniscule. He's experienced it because of his own father and for his own insecurities. He wondered if there was something similar with Kaiba. People knew about Gozoboru, but Kaiba didn't seem the type to share the more intimate parts of his child with anyone, even if they mattered. He likely forgot them just so they weren't there to bother him. That was the best part of forgetting. The person didn't have to admit it to anyone but themselves, and even then it was like a distant ghost.
"What's the number that keeps calling?" Kaiba asked after a very staunch silence. Jou read it to him. "Call it back and put it on speaker phone."
Jou did as he was told, his arm resting on the bedrail so the phone could be closer to Kaiba. Somebody answered in a formal tone. "It's Kaiba Seto," Kaiba replied before the man could think to say much more. There was a stammer. "You've attempted to get a hold of me?"
"Yes, Kaiba-san," the voice on the other line, though pompous, was very meek when speaking to Kaiba. "I've been trying to get a hold of you because there's been something of a breakthrough. The police have been looking over the accident scene…"
Jou didn't have to venture far to guess that the man on the phone was a lawyer. "I take it they've found new evidence?"
"Something that will be very good for us, Kaiba-san."
The lurching became so prominent that Kaiba had pushed forward and then flattened himself out. Beads of sweat were forming on his brow, and his mouth was twitching uncomfortably.
"Kaiba-san?"
"I'm waiting for you to keep going," Kaiba replied. He moved the bowl closer to his chest, and he gripped it tightly.
"There were people nearby who were playing with a video camera. Some college students. They had originally been witnesses to the crash, and they willingly gave over the tape to us. We'd been scouring the tape for something that could be useful," the voice seemed to get malevolent, like he was going to be a hawk picking off a mouse. "The crash was visible in it, but not the lights. In the least, not the lights that were above. The crosswalk…"
Jou tensed, but not because of hearing about the crosswalk. It was because Kaiba had, in a split second, raised the bowl to his lips and lurched and made an awful, cat-like sound.
"He'll talk to you later," Jou said, ending the call and putting the phone in his seat. He doubted that Kaiba was finished, mostly because he realized that Kaiba was one that didn't react well when it came to dealing with the effects of a surgery. He went to the bathroom and came back, a wet washcloth in his hands. It was in this moment that he realized how much he wanted to care for Kaiba in whatever sense that the words could mean.
As Jou dabbed the brunet's cheeks, he held tight to Kaiba's hand and urged him to lay back. When the adrenaline in him died down, he began to think about what the lawyer was about to say about the crosswalk; about him, in essence.
He knew that Kaiba would call the man back as soon as he felt able, which wouldn't be very long.
He shook and squeezed Kaiba's hand tighter.
A/N: I have a great want to admit this, just because I think it's interesting...or not. Depends on your view.
Like most authors, I listen to music while I was writing. There were a couple of songs that really work in writing this, I realize. Take them as you will.
"Who Let the Dogs Out" - Baha Men; "Domino" - Van Morrison
:)
