The meal that Dave laid on the table was amazing and a couple of hours later they were all almost comatose from the amount of food they had consumed. There were many pockets of the evening when it was as though nothing had changed. Emily hadn't supposedly died. Penelope hadn't moved away. That they were all friends who trusted each other implicitly. But there were other moments, awkward moments that made them see that they were indeed different people.
They had specifically stayed off certain topics and Penelope found herself choosing her words carefully as she spoke of her new life in New York knowing it was still a sensitive topic. She had caught a certain look in Derek's face a few times in the evening. There were moments where they would lose him altogether. There was still so much anger within him that it made her worry for his safety when he was out on the field, with that distinct 'I don't care, I have nothing to lose. I can take on the world' attitude that hovered over him, whether he realized it or not she didn't know and she certainly didn't feel qualified in pointing it out. It had been six months and she didn't feel she had a right to hold him accountable anymore when she wasn't even sure if they were friends.
Aaron saw the longing in Derek's eyes as he looked at Penelope throughout the night. They all knew how much he missed her. How badly he felt for how he treated her. Though the rest knew they had played a part in her decision to flee and felt incredibly horrible for it, it pailed in comparison to what Derek felt. Penelope was the one person in the world who truly got him and loved him in spite of it. She may have even been in love with him at one point they suspected but the Penelope that sat around the table filled with composure and grace revealed not a trace of that. Whether she had managed to get over him in her transformation and realization of self, or she had just managed to bury it, they guessed they'd never know unless they drilled her about it, which required a level of trust they were all still working on with each other. She was still Penelope who cared deeply for each of them, but she wasn't the same Penelope that left them, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Hotch, like the rest of them were so proud of her and marveled that she had come out of shell, bravely discovering who she was and celebrating it.
"Garcie, I think your phone is ringing." JJ pointed out as her bag in the corner began to vibrate. They had just finished dessert and were well into coffee at that point,
"Do you mind Dave? I technically am on call?" she asked the host apologetically.
"Not at all Bella." Penelope rose to her feet and dove towards her bag
"Garcia," she answered
"Oh hey Mike. No that's fine I told Mac if you run into any issues to give me a call. What's going on?" instead of carrying on with the conversation at the dinner table they found themselves listening to her troubleshoot effortlessly as she booted up her laptop in the corner and made tweaks from her end,
"No that's fine. I'm glad you called me. It's better we catch that glitch now rather than later. Well that should do it. I've just patched it up. Any other issues call me. I'll be up awhile. Yup, you're welcome Goof. I'll see you when I get back," just as she was about to put her phone away it rang again,
"Oh hey, I'm still at Dave's. No, that's okay. I was just about to drop you a text anyway to let you know I was still here. Hmm probably," Penelope chucked
"I will do. I promise. Night."
"Sorry guys!" she apologized as she sat back down in her chair. Penelope caught the look of curiosity exchanged between Emily and JJ. She knew an interrogation would come eventually. Truth of the matter was, they knew very little about her new life in New York, or about her in general. But as much as she loved being back and seeing them all again, and making sure that they were all okay, she wasn't quite ready to fully share about her life after them.
"Hey Garcia, I just wanted to say how sorry I was for not being there for you, you know when everything fell apart." Reid apologized as they cleaned the dinner table together while the others were already in the kitchen loading up the dishwasher,
"Reid, honey I know how rough it was for you losing Emily, and it's okay really. It made me realize that I could stand on my own two feet. Rely on myself, and that's really important to me. What 'us' that there was that seemingly fell apart pushed me to decide what I really want and just go for it. As hard as it was, I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm happy Reid. Really happy." Penelope drew him into a tight embrace.
"I may not be in the same building anymore, but if you need me, I've still got your back, wherever I am," she promised in his ear as he nodded briefly tightening his hold on her.
"So Garcia, are you heading back tomorrow? Why don't you stay the weekend? Plenty of room in any of our places if yours in no longer available." Rossi offered,
"Yes Garcie! That would be awesome! Stay at mine!" Emily exclaimed excitedly,
"I would love to but I'm actually heading back early tomorrow morning. My place is all packed up ad closed up as of this afternoon and keys handed over. I'm staying at the Hyatt for the night. I would have headed straight home after the Jackers but I also wanted to make sure that all the testing and implementation transitioned smoothly, that I didn't want to miss dinner with you guys."
"Are you driving back?" Hotch inquired.
"Yeah I drove Mac's SUV down so I could empty out my place. It's a nice drive. I'm hoping to be back in my place by lunchtime. With me being here a few days I have so much I have to get done before the end of next week."
"Deadline?" Hotch asked,
"Sort of. I'm off to Hawaii with a few friends. It's sort of a send off before I leave for London," she answered carefully knowing he had just dropped a bomb. Derek's head snapped up, as the rest of them stared at her in obvious shock.
"I've designed a software that they've just passed for implementation. They're sending me with the software to London to share the intel and get them all set up an trained up. It's been a whole lot of red tape an it's a miracle it got passed, let along London."
"Wow Penelope that's an amazing opportunity!" Em exclaimed proudly wrapping her arms around her friend. Penelope returned the hug gratefully,
"Garcie, I'm so proud of you." JJ seconded joining them in their huddle. It took a moment or two before Hotch, Rossi and Reid followed. Derek unsurprisingly remained where he stood. Only Rossi had seen his discreet need to lean against the closest piece of furniture to steady himself. Unable to look at him Penelope's focus remained on the rest of her friends. As harsh as it was, she didn't owe him any explanation nor any apologies. She answered their questions of where and importantly how long,
"I'm not sure about the how long. I'm scheduled to be in London for maybe three months and then if all goes well, Paris, Russia, Italy and a few other places for a period of time."
"Oh my gosh Garcie, that's exciting!"
"It totally is. Mac and Jo have been really good at poking me to make sure it's sunk in."
"I'm sure Mac is going to miss you. Not to mention Jo," Emily said knowingly.
"And vice versa, hence our little impromptu trip to Hawaii."
It was another hour before Penelope regretfully began to say her goodbyes, it was well after one in the morning and with an early and a full day she had to be of clear mind. It did not escape her that Derek had not uttered a word since her announcement. She could see the questions rolling around in his head. In unnerved and comforted her that she could still read him like a book. Despite how he had closed her off in the last year, she could still see right through him.
"So I guess this is it for awhile. Not sure exactly when I'll be back in US soil," she said somewhat regretfully. The thought of being so far away from them only a month before was inviting, if not necessary and now, she knew she would miss them in a different way to the way she had been missing them for almost a year. She was glad that she was able to leave on better terms, at least with most of them.
"I can't believe you're going to be so far away." Emily murmured as she hugged her friend hugged,
"Europe isn't that far Em,"
"I'm going to miss you even more. I just got you back, and now you're leaving."
"Oh sweetheart, I may not be in the same country but if you need me, I'll be here. I promise. Just think of it as though I'm only in New York,"
"Keep in touch okay?"
"Of course," she vowed.
"You give my Godson an extra big hug from his Fairy Penny okay, and you take care of yourself."
"Having you in New York was hard enough," JJ complained softly, tears beginning to form,
"Oh Jayje, it's okay. Everything will be okay. I'm still contactable by phone, email, texts. I have spoken to Will. Henry and I have a Skype date at least once a week. As do Jack and I." She added throwing her glance to Hotch who smiled appreciatively knowing just how much his son loved Penelope.
Penelope had hugged the boys in a somewhat strategic order, leaving Hotch last
"I'm happier than I've ever been Hotch. You are not responsible for my leaving. You don't owe me any apologies, what you did was the only thing you could have done. We have Em back and that's all that matters. You did not and have not ever failed me. Please believe that." She said softly hugging him tighter than normal,
"You need anything, you call. Check in regularly," he demanded with a soft stern look that brought a grin to her face,
"Of course Boss Man."
They all watched as she hopped into Mac's SUV giving them all one last wave before pulling out of the driveway. She could feel her heart drop to her feet as she reversed out of Dave's driveway, there they were, the six people she once trusted above all others, loved beyond measure, and adored instinctively stood side by side watching her leave. Though she was sad to say goodbye, in her heart she was ready.
Penelope had just changed into her sweats ready for bed when a light knock on her door startled her. As soon as she heard the knock, it was not necessary to even peek through the hole. She knew it would be him. She knew that he would show up at her doorstep, leaving or not, he would have been there. As she opened the door, Derek did not waste a second and drew her into his arms into meaningful hug. Penelope closed her eyes and breathed him in and for a moment, she could convince herself that nothing had changed, that he was still Derek her best friend, and as quickly as the thought entered her mind, her subconscious kicked in. Derek felt her stiffen in his embrace. Knowing that the moment was lost, he reluctantly loosened his grip and released her.
"You promised me we'd talk, so let's talk P."
