Shallow Grave

Chapter 7

Here's another. Please let me know what you think of it. Trying to write Steve as himself but as a man at the end of his rope. It's harder than I thought it would be.

Thank you for all of your kind comments and the favorites and alerts. I never take them for granted and appreciate them more than you know. As usual, mistakes are all mine. I try to keep them to a minimum but am not much of a grammarian though husband thinks my name is 'spellcheck' when he's doing his own writing. I guess I should be flattered?

Disclaimer: The fortune I got in the cookie from Chinese take-out said 'You will realize your greatest dreams'. Guess that means I'll make millions from this desperate scribbling and be moving to Hawaii to lie on the beach with a tall dark-haired guy and a not so tall blonde one. Would a fortune cookie lie?

*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0* Hawaii 5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*

Speed Bump

They arrived at their hotel without further incident. Steve was quiet though that really wasn't anything new. The cab ride from the airport was a longer trip than Danny had remembered from his last visit to the windy city.

The passing scenery seemed somehow colder, grayer, more dismal than he'd remembered it. It should feel like home. It should feel normal. This was what he'd grown up with – this lack of color and vibrancy in wintertime. It was nothing like the place he now lived – all color and light – but somehow the grey, rainy landscape seemed appropriate to their current situation.

The cab pulled up to the front of the Drake. It was a pretty pricey hotel for a couple of cops but it was one of the only places in town with a vacant room. The National Hardware Show with its thousands of hardware salesmen, manufacturers, buyers and visitors was being held only a couple of miles from here at the McCormick Place Convention Center. There wasn't much choice. Again, a phone call to Kono and Steve's credit card was put to use.

Danny had last visited here as part of his honeymoon trip with Rachel. Though he certainly had other things to distract him at the time, he remembered the food. He and Rachel had been 'shacking up' for several months and laughed that the honeymoon was more an opportunity to enjoy the myriad restaurants the city had to offer than enjoying each other, (though that too had certainly been on the menu).

Slowly counting out the bills, Steve paid the cabbie and tipped him well. Anyone who had to be out working in this dismal weather deserved a little extra. He hefted his duffle over his shoulder and pulling his jacket tighter around himself followed Danny into the lobby.

The young woman at the front desk was courteous and efficient, giving them a lovely smile as she handed them their key cards. From the corner of his eye, Danny saw her checking out his partner. This wasn't anything new. Even though he needed a few more pounds on him right now, Steve is a strikingly good looking guy.

The tall man seemed oblivious to the red-haired woman's attention. If he'd been on his game, he'd have been flirting back. He very well knew his effect on the opposite sex and wasn't above using it to his advantage at times. The boyish charm came in handy at restaurants and various locations around the islands. Hell, the devastating smile had even been put to use when Hillary Chung, one of the assistant M.E.'s, was assigned to process their crime scenes. They'd received the results of her findings faster than if even Max had been working the case.

If Steve had actually ever strayed, Danny knew nothing of it but he did know if Cath ever found out what her friend-with-benefits/boyfriend/whatever was capable of . . . well, it probably wouldn't be pretty. Today, Steve was too distracted to employ his secret weapon.

When they got to their room, the SEAL immediately dropped his duffle to the floor and with a groan of exhaustion, flung himself onto the closest of the two beds and immediately closed his eyes, arms over his face.

"Hey, you okay?" asked the blonde as he watched his partner who was laid out on the bed like so much tattooed roadkill.

"Of course I'm okay. It was just a normal day for me; trying to kill my best friend in the middle of a fucking airport, almost getting shot by a couple of rent-a-cops in front of a hundred screaming children, yeah, I'm just peachy . . . and you?"

"I'm okay." sighed Danny, plopping tiredly onto the opposite bed and smoothing his hands through his long ago defeated coif. He looked over at the next bed and the weary looking man who lay upon it.

"Look, it's over with. We go on from here. No one got hurt, though I'm sure a couple of those people are gonna need to change their chonies. You can't let this stop the parade, babe. It's just a speed bump on the road to getting your life back."

"I'm sorry." said the tall man, sounding so overcome by it all. He suddenly rolled onto his side and buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he tried to stifle his embarrassing outburst. "I'm so sorry Danny."

Oh crap, thought his partner in alarm. "Hey, hey, I told you I'm good. Honest, I'm fine, everyone's fine Steven. You didn't hurt me. You didn't hurt anyone else. All you did was give Penn and Teller something to tell the wife and kids when they get home tonight."

"Penn and Teller?" rasped Steve from behind his hands, breath hitching in his mighty inward struggle for control.

Steve's emotionality was nearly as weird and distressing as the near catatonic state he'd been in when Danny first saw him at Quantico. The detective fought the urge to comfort his partner, to put arms around his lost friend and try to keep the pieces together. Steve was embarrassed enough already and sadly, Danny wasn't even sure anymore if it was safe to touch him when he was so upset.

Not knowing what else to do, he picked up the phone to order some hot fudge sundaes from room service.

….

The rest of the evening went calmly enough. Steve even agreed to eat some of the burger his partner had ordered for him along with a few fries. Danny made sure he took the meds which made him loopy enough to not even protest when his partner ordered him to bed as though he were talking to his nine-year-old daughter.

He was almost immediately asleep as soon as he lay down his head, not even bothering to draw the blankets over himself before becoming unconscious.

Five hours ahead of Hawaii time, Danny made his nightly phone call to his daughter. She asked about visiting her uncle Steve as soon as they got home. Danny had been prepared for the request and gave her his rehearsed story about how busy her uncle would be for a while until he caught up on all his crime-fighting chores. He felt bad lying to her but, for now, it was for the best. The remark from Steve's doctor and what he'd seen today at the airport made him uneasy that his daughter would see Steve before he was ready. He hoped he wouldn't have to explain it to Steve. He didn't know how he would.

Sighing, he set the phone on the night stand and got ready for bed, stopping to pull the blankets up over his sleeping partner. Yup, it was like having two nine-year-olds. At least it was a role he was comfortable with. In sleep, Steve did look much younger. The tenseness gone from his features, his thin face looked boyish. Danny sometimes forgot they were actually the same age; Steve always seemed so much more worldly. He'd been all over it as a matter of fact. He'd been fighting forever. Fighting to keep his country safe, fighting to keep to keep his island safe. Danny thought that maybe fighting for so long had made his friend hard beyond his years.

Now he was fighting for himself.

Sighing once more in weariness, Danny shut off the light and closed his eyes.

…..

The sounds began softly at first. Murmurings and frantic whispers that barely registered on Danny's consciousness as he was roused from sleep a little after midnight. Groaning, he sat up to look over at the next bed. There was enough light coming through the half-drawn drapes to see Steve tossing and turning, talking to someone unseen.

"No, please don't!" were the mumbled words Danny could make out as Steve actually put his hands up in a halt type gesture. "Stop!" he said more clearly. Then came words in a language he didn't understand but he gathered they were saying pretty much the same thing. "NO!" screamed out the man in the bed as he sat up abruptly searching frantically around him.

"Steve! It's just a dream! It's okay! You're just dreaming!" soothed Danny as he jumped out of bed and rushed to his friend's side, knowing that trying to touch him at this moment could be disastrous.

"Stop! Please stop!" and then more of the foreign language as Steve scrambled out of bed. Making a keening sound he backed away from his partner, trying to get as far from him as possible, his face twisted in anguish.

"Steven, you're safe! We're in a hotel in Chicago. You're safe, nothing is going to hurt you! Please, buddy, calm down. It's me, Danny, I won't let anything happen. Remember? We're on our way home? Shh, it's alright now."

"Nooo" keened the tall man now having reached the wall and flattening himself against it, hands behind him scrabbling for an exit. Danny could hear fingernails scraping against wallpaper.

"Shh, Steven, please wake up, it's just a dream. You're in Chicago. You're with me, Danny, your friend. You're safe now. Nothing is going to hurt you."

The blonde kept up the litany of soothing words and entreaty to wake. After a few more tense moments, Steve seemed to begin to calm. The frantic activity stopped and his eyes became focused on his actual surroundings instead of the ones in his head. His clothes and hair were soaked with sweat and he trembled almost violently. Finally, his gaze slowly focused on Danny's face and a look of recognition supplanted the one of terror.

"Danny?"

There was his name again said as if the one word contained salvation.

"Yeah, yeah, Steven. It's me, Danny" he said, daring to come closer to the man still plastered against the wall.

"Wha . . . what happened?" was the shaky question.

"Just a dream, babe. Just a bad dream. It's okay now. Everything's okay now."

"Di . . did I hur . . . hurt you?" came the stuttering question between breaths that came in panting gasps.

"No, not even close. I'm fine. You're fine. Don't worry about it. It was just a dream. It's over now." soothed the blonde.

Steve released himself from the tense posture and slid down the wall, drawing his knees close to his body; still nearly panting.

"It was so real." he breathed, more to himself than to his partner who crouched close to him but not touching. "It was so fucking real." His chest heaved trying to bring in enough oxygen to clear his head of the horror that hadn't yet left him. He ran his hands over his face, trying to blink away the whatever terrors remained.

"It was just a dream, Steven. Just a bad dream. It's over now." soothed Danny in comforting repetition.

His friend's breathing slowed as he sat on the floor for several more minutes trying to clear his mind and regain some composure.

"You okay now?" asked Danny gently, standing and offering his hand to pull Steve from the floor. The cold hand took the offered warm one and he stood shakily.

Sitting on his bed, the SEAL fought to gain control, pushing his sweat soaked hair back with both hands, he took a shuddering breath. "Danny, could you get me a glass of water? Maybe with some ice in it?" he asked looking at his partner almost pleadingly.

"Sure, of course. The ice machine's just down the hall. Be right back." The blonde man grabbed the plastic ice bucket and his key card from the desk near the window and, already wearing sweats, hurried out the door on his errand.

As soon as the door clicked closed behind his friend, McGarrett sprang from the bed and quickly strode to the closet, grabbing pants and boots, hurriedly donning them and having the presence of mind to retrieve his wallet from the top of the nightstand.

Returning with the now filled ice bucket, the detective nearly dropped it when he saw his partner dressed and looking ready to leave instead of returning to bed.

"You going somewhere babe?" he asked carefully, narrowing pale blue eyes as he set the ice filled container on the bed.

"I . . . I have to get out of here, Danny. I have to go away before I hurt somebody, before I hurt you or Kono or Chin or even Gracie. I'm not safe to be around. I'm not what you think I am. I don't want to hurt anyone, please! Let me go!" he plead.

"You, my friend, are going nowhere! You need to sit your ass back on that bed. I made a promise to you and to myself that I would help you get through this and I'll be damned if you're going to make me break it! Now, knock it off. You're not leaving!"

"Can't. Please don't make me hurt you. Please. I have enough blood on my hands!" his voice broke then, tears pooling once again in the dark hazel-blue eyes. "Please, I'm begging you, let me go."

"Not happening, Rambo." said the blonde, knowing that Steve could probably dispatch him in a nanosecond but he wasn't going to make it easy. If the idiot was going to leave, he'd have to do it the hard way. He braced himself.

*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0* Hawaii 5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*5-0*

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Next chapter in about four days.